[R-18] Naruto: Fucking My students

You have got to be kidding me. The Hokage's humor was lost on him. Of all the things he could've wrote.

"Change of plans," Naruto turned around, grimaced and serious. "I've decided not to fail you all."

He heard shouts of joy, praises to whatever god that existed and a low whisper of "Yes".

"I wasn't done," Naruto pocketed the kunai. If the Hokage was throwing out free kunai, he wouldn't complain; the more the merrier. "The reason why I passed all three of you is because one, you three did work together in the beginning –albeit for different reasons. Two, none of you ever truly gave up. Three, I'm glad to see you three have some decency in you."

He saw the annoyed look, the slight glare and content face. He had a lot of work on his hands. "Now, there's something I want to show you all." Throwing two shuriken with wind laced chakra, they tore through the rope and bark of the posts freeing Ino and Sakura. Red swollen marks were seen on their arms; Ino's chest perked up a bit upon being free, Sakura's not so much. It seems both girls had noticed it too, if the smirk and scoff were hints. Naruto beckoned for both of them to follow him and soon enough they were in Konoha's graveyard.

The mood became somber without much effort as they neared the Memorial Stone. Naruto sighed and placed his hand on the obsidian made obituary. His eye focused on few names, two more than others.

"Do you know what this is?" He received no answers. "This is the Memorial Stone. Shinobi and kunoichi killed in action have their names etched here. It's the highest honor we have, granted even though sometimes we don't get to bring their corpses here."

Silence reigned. Naruto swore he could hear ghosts walking around and teasing him. Perhaps they were. "The reason why I brought you here is simple. You're all weak." He didn't want to see their shocked faces. "Had we been upon enemy shinobi, I assure you all three would've been dealt with by now. You'd be lucky if they decided to kill you."

Sakura's wretch reached his ears and he decided to hold back a bit. "You're all kunoichi now. Days of chasing pretty boys and wearing pretty dresses are over. Team Six will have its first mission tomorrow at eight o'clock. Meet me at the Hokage Tower. Don't be late."

"If you aren't."

"Oh don't worry, Ino," he turned around and brought out three headbands. The symbol of the Leaf shined brightly. "I won't be." It was all he said before disappearing. The three genin stood, each focused on their headbands and realizing how close they came to failing today.

"So…" Ino broke the daze they were all in. Mostly to comfort herself. "We passed."

"Yeah," Sakura spoke next. "We did." All three of them still tightly gripping their headbands.

"I think we s-should all head home," Hinata advised them. She too was tired. Naruto-kun didn't hold back when he hit them. At least she hoped he had not, otherwise these mere love-taps would be embarrassing.

"You're right." Ino began to walk away, but stopped for a moment. "Forehead."

"Piggy," Sakura said, ready for a war of words.

"Just," Ino sighed. "Don't start an argument during missions. I'll be willing to hold the peace if you do the same. We're just teammates. We're not friends."

"I was about to say the same," the pinkette retorted. "Don't worry, Piggy. We both know who's going to win." She then walked away after saying goodbye to the final teammate. Ino did the same as Hinata stood alone.

Quietly striding forward her all-seeing eyes searched for a name. She didn't have to wait long. "Hizashi Hyuga," she read and felt a pang. Neji's wrathful face flashed before her. Placing a hand on her chest, she calmed herself. Promising that she would achieve all her goals.

Danzo Shimura was a war hawk. A true utilitarian, valued ends over means every single day of his life. It was how he came so far. Naturally, everyone presumed he was a cruel, twisted, sadistic man. One who lived for the village, and would die for the village. They weren't wrong.

"Big Monkey is watching," the words echoed around the room. His visible eye looked at the text carefully. "I see your tastes in making a jest is about as fresh as a tree growing in Ame."

Snap, Naruto thought as he saw the leader of Ne give his remark to the Hokage. Kakashi stood beside him reading the orange book, giggling like a dainty girl. As if they would leave the Hokage alone in a room with Danzo. All the other jōnin had left an hour ago, and in came the bandaged cripple –Naruto's Fūton teacher.

"And I see that rainbows are still gushing out of your mouth." The Hokage smiled widely, lighting up his old trusty pipe. "Of course that's the reason why Mai never wanted to go to the Leaf Festival with you."

"Enough," Danzo muttered. Clearly the man did not want to speak about this Mai person. "You know why I'm here."

"The next Icha-Icha isn't out yet. Jiraiya is still writing."

"I'm not here for that." The War Hawk clarified. "It's regarding the Uchiha boy. Are you sure about this? We don't know how much Itachi affected him. His social behavior is unsettling."

That's rich, Naruto mentally sniggered. If Danzo didn't stay cooped up underground with a small private army the line would've been better suited. Kakashi giggled louder and kept saying lewd things about some "Moka". The man seriously needed to get laid, which Naruto was sure he did. Maybe the Copy Ninja just enjoyed messing with people on a personal level.

"Don't worry about him," Sarutobi assured his old teammate. "He's more loquacious than Itachi ever was."

"Yes, but Itachi wasn't," the Shinobi of Darkness paused, trying to find the apt term. Kakashi sagely cut in.

"An ass?"

"A dick?" Naruto added his two cents.

"Repressed?" Hiruzen asked.

"Volatile," Danzo shot each of them a look of disdain. How he wished he had Shisui's eye right now. Unfortunately, the Uchiha had destroyed both his eyes before committing suicide. A true loss for the village.

"Sasuke is young and grew up in a different time." Sarutobi countered. "He did have a normal childhood before that night."

"Hiruzen," Danzo's face darkened. "Things won't always be this way. Especially now that the Land of Rice has been invaded."

"Conflicts are always bound to happen. It's the natural order of the world." The Hokage breathed out dancing smoke. "Especially with us shinobi."

"And yet you condone hollow ideals." Danzo pointed out. "There's a war coming, Hiruzen. Not today, not tomorrow. But it will come. You and I have been alive long enough to know just how little it takes to for all the nations to become involved in it. You do remember?"

"I remember everything," Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Professor, the Great Monkey Guardian, the Third Hokage assured him. "You'll do well to remember that." After a few more matters, which included orphaned, rejected genin being enrolled into the side-draft program, Danzo left. He was not amused. Naruto and Kakashi then proceeded to give thorough reports on their team.

Surprisingly, Sasuke was more cooperative than Kakashi expected. Kiba, the brash heiress out to prove a point worked well and Sai was…Sai. The last one needed a bit of work. Naruto's explanation drew distaste from the other two occupants. In his mind, they were angry because he crushed the bells.

"Anything else?" Sarutobi asked and Naruto brought forth a scroll, placing it on the Hokage's desk. The old man inspected it carefully. "No."

"Just give it to their parents."

"They won't agree."

"Am I missing something?" Kakashi asked. The Hokage handed him the scroll. His eye widened and he stared at Naruto. "Are you serious?"

"Very much so."

"This is unorthodox." Sarutobi began. "Not to mention-"

"I know what game you're playing," Naruto cut in. The Hokage raised a brow. "The CRA."

"Oh," Kakashi drawled it out. "Well, I'll be going. Lots to do tomorrow. By your leave Hokage-sama." Sarutobi nodded and looked at the blond.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." The man smiled. Oh, how Naruto hated the smile in that moment.

"Well played," Naruto clapped a few times.

"I'm surprised you gave in."

"I haven't." The blond said. "This is entirely for training purposes. My compound is big, too big. Plus that seems to be the only way to whip them up in shape. I will not teach half-assed kunoichi. I did tell you they would have to go by my rules."

"I will run this over with them. I don't think they'll agree."

"It's up to them to decide. I have all the time in the world." Naruto idly looked at his father's picture. "Sometimes I wonder how less messed up things would be if he was still alive."

"Things would've indeed been different." Sarutobi sighed. "Probably better. My bones are getting old."

"Yeah they are. Do you need anything get done?" He saw the Hokage shake his head. "Okay, then. I hear the Springs got their private sections renovated."

"Don't peek."

"Do I look like Jiraiya?" Naruto pointed to himself. "Besides I have to train first. I didn't get my morning session."

"I'm sure there was a good reason for that."

"Yeah, there was."

...

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