Reborn As Papa Silva

Anticlimax is, of course, the warp and way of things. Real life seldom structures a decent denouement. - Dan Simmons

—

Time moved on.

Three years after Nebra's birth, Aurelia and Florian got married.

Sebastian didn't attend the wedding.

—

Time moved on again.

A year later, Aurelia and Florian had a baby boy—Kirsch.

Sebastian didn't even send a word of congratulations.

—

Time continued to move on. All of Sebastian's efforts to disgust Acier—to make her draw the line between them whenever he resurfaced—were for naught.

He couldn't do anything extreme, his actions limited by his doppelgänger, so he resorted to subtlety. He styled his hair in the worst way known to man and manipulated Nozel into doing the same. Whenever he crossed paths with Nozel or Nebra, he treated them like subordinates instead of his children. And yet, Acier still didn't tell him to go.

Perhaps, rather than blaming his doppelgänger or Acier, he himself was at fault. Because no matter how hard he resolved himself, he could never bring himself to curse his children or strike them—despite knowing that was Acier's bottom line.

Strangely, he felt that his doppelgänger wouldn't stop him if he tried. But he just couldn't. The most he could ever do was raise his voice and treat his children indifferently, coldly. With distance. Like they were strangers.

Perhaps it was weakness. Love. Or just hope—that his father-in-law's words, that he would one day be free, made him reluctant to do anything he couldn't take back.

At parties and noble events, he would look the other way when Lux or other men tried to chat her up, despite her looking at him with an unspoken plea for help. He hoped that would be enough to dull the affection he still held for her in his heart.

But whenever he saw those men—especially Lux—cozy up to her, reach out and try to touch her, he couldn't handle it. He would insert himself between them, and as a result, no one dared to approach Acier again for the rest of the gathering.

Perhaps it was jealousy. Possessiveness. Or reluctance to let go. But even if he couldn't be with her the way they once were, he couldn't stand to lose the last thread of connection he had with her.

And then, once again, on the 7th day of the 5th month, of the year 1614, Lux—that bastard who never learned, who never knew when to quit—despite being married and having a twelve-year-old son, invited Acier to his birthday celebration.

Sebastian, as a Duke, didn't need an invitation to attend any noble event unless it was hosted by the King himself.

Still, it was a faux pas on Lux's part. He should have sent Sebastian a formal invitation as a show of cordiality and respect, even if he hated his guts.

But Sebastian didn't care about that.

Acier had no intention of going.

Yet, to her surprise—and dismay—Sebastian insisted that she do so and declared that he would be tagging along.

Acier reluctantly complied, preparing for yet another event where Sebastian would stand off to the side, exchanging pleasantries with noble lords and ladies, networking, while she would be left alone and swarmed by opportunistic pigs in human clothing—men who, to this day, never quit their hopeless attempts at seducing her.

She never brought Nozel or Nebra to these kinds of celebrations. She didn't want her children to witness such deplorable behavior, nor did she want them to become targets themselves—Nozel especially, as the future lord of their house.

So, with a forced smile, she walked across Clover Castle, in tow with Sebastian, to Castle Kira.

What she didn't expect—what never once crossed her mind—was for Sebastian to stay with her. To sit beside her. To hand her a plate with food. To act every part of an affectionate, caring husband.

Well, he would have—if not for the cold, impassive expression on his face.

The sight took Acier back to the days when she and Sebastian had shamelessly made out at Lux's birthday parties, relishing in his despair and livid expression.

That didn't happen this time.

But still, it warmed her heart. Ever so slightly.

Sebastian may not have loved her like he used to. But he still cared. He still held some affection for her. And although she wanted so much more, she could get by with just that.

Sebastian knew he shouldn't have been doing this if he wanted to draw a line with Acier. But he did. It was an oxymoron, a contradiction, self-sabotage for his schemes—yet he did it anyway.

And perhaps because of that, late at night after the party, he once again found himself alone with Acier Silva, in his room, as she declared her desire for another child.

Once again, he agreed.

Once again, he went through the motions of sexual reproduction with her, without showing the slightest joy or ecstasy.

But this time, she didn't cry, tremble, or weep.

This time, she didn't ask why he looked so cold, sad, or distant. She didn't ask why he seemed to be crying without shedding a tear.

She never said a word throughout. And when she left, it was with a shaky, yet understanding smile.

Sebastian collapsed onto his bed in self-loathing, trying to drown out the victorious, mocking laughter of his doppelgänger in his mind.

When it seemed the thief—the parasite living in his body—had its fill, Sebastian heard a snap. And once again, he found himself chained and bound in that black-ocean mindscape.

Once again, his pitch-black doppelgänger resumed control of his body.

Sebastian sank beneath that sea, lost in thought once more.

And he came to a realization.

It wasn't about his doppelgänger screwing him over. It wasn't about the imprint it left on the souls and minds of his family, filling them with conflicted emotions of love and hate. It wasn't about his family drawing a line with him or being done with him.

It was about whether he was willing to let that line be drawn. Whether he was resolved enough to fully commit to the villainous role of a good-for-nothing husband and father.

And he wasn't.

Despite knowing he was poisonous to his family.

Despite knowing their happiness could only exist in a world without him.

Despite knowing that if he truly loved Acier and his children the way he claimed, then he needed to hurt them in such an irreparable way that they would never take him back.

He didn't.

He couldn't.

He wouldn't cross that line.

And so, his family's suffering would continue.

Because he was a coward.

Much to his doppelgänger's visible pleasure.

His doppelgänger would continue to hurt his family. And Sebastian himself would, subtly, just barely, mend those wounds—just enough—so he could remain a part of the family.

Because he, Sebastian Silva, couldn't look the other way long enough to let those wounds turn into eternal scars.

Because he, Sebastian Silva, couldn't let go.

—

It was with that same weakness that, on the 26th of February, in the year 1615, Sebastian—once again let free—headed to Acier's room, despite knowing he shouldn't.

Acier, surrounded by an excited Nebra and a slightly blushing Nozel, held her newborn son—their new baby brother—lovingly in her arms. She had just given birth an hour ago. She froze.

All three of them, the servants, the maids—everyone froze as Sebastian stepped into the room.

Sebastian didn't register anyone else. His focus was only on his family: Acier, Nozel, Nebra, and the new baby boy. His baby boy.

He stood at the threshold of the doorway, not daring to step closer, afraid that if he did, he would hear a snap, and his doppelganger would do something terrible.

It was supposed to be a good day for Acier, Nozel, and Nebra—a rare happy day. He couldn't be the reason it was ruined.

He knew he shouldn't have come here at all if he truly wanted to make sure of that, but he couldn't hold himself back.

From afar, his gaze lingered on the infant, and with a cold expression, he parted his lips. "I picked out a name. Solid. What do you think?"

The servants, along with Nozel and Nebra, froze.

Acier did too, before her eyes watered and she gave him a shaky smile. "I-I think it's a good name."

Sebastian suppressed his beating heart and nodded stoically. "Then it's decided. I shall record his name as Solid Silva in the register."

Acier trembled ever so slightly as she bit her lip. "D-do you want to hold him—"

She stopped as she watched Sebastian indifferently spin on his heel. Just as fast as he had come, he walked away.

There was a flicker of hurt and disappointment in Acier's eyes, but there was also boundless joy—a tiny bit due to her children's father acting like a father, even for the briefest moment, but largely due to the new addition to her family.

Her new baby boy. Nothing Sebastian or anyone else could do today could ruin that joy.

Nozel's gaze lingered on the doorway before he looked back down and placed a gentle hand on Solid's head, Nebra doing the same.

As Sebastian walked away, he thought softly, Solid. It meant strong, firm, whole, resilient, unbroken, and more. Sebastian hoped his son could be like that—any of those things.

Not weak-willed and weak-hearted like him, but strong like his mother and brother. Like anything and anyone but him.

—

If there was anything of note in the kingdom—or in Sebastian's life—besides the birth of Solid, it was that after being empty for nearly fourteen years, the seat and throne of Wizard King was finally filled once more.

By a practically disowned noble with thief-like magic from House Leto.

To Sebastian—the real Sebastian—Conrad seemed like a good man. Despite an upbringing of ostracization due to his magical attribute and weak control, followed by further ostracization once he learned to master it, Conrad was resilient.

He didn't let the cruelty get to him. He joined the Magic Knights and pledged to serve and protect the same people who disdained him. He worked his way up to Captain, formed his own squad—one comprised almost entirely of commoners—and even started a romance with a peasant from the Forsaken Realm, despite the prejudice and pushback.

He made enough merits and achievements, garnered enough respect and popularity, to be crowned the 27th Wizard King.

To Sebastian—the real Sebastian—Conrad was a strong, resilient, and brave-hearted man. Everything he wanted his children to be. Everything he himself wanted to be.

Although he didn't know Alden too well, Sebastian felt confident Conrad's predecessor would be very pleased with someone like Conrad succeeding him.

To Sebastian—the real Sebastian—Conrad was exactly the kind of Wizard King he would like to have.

Unfortunately, he was forced to play the villain. His body was out of his control, working alongside House Kira, the royalists, and the elitists to reject and oppose any and all revolutionary bills and actions that would benefit the lower classes—bills brought up by Conrad and House Vermillion.

If before, those actions of his would earn looks of fury, hate, or disappointment from Ignatius, now he got nothing.

Ignatius was used to it. In his eyes, this was just the kind of person Sebastian was. He no longer held any expectations for him.

Sebastian—the real Sebastian—didn't know how to feel about that. This was what he wanted. What he claimed to want. For everyone who once cared about him, or showed him some sort of acknowledgment or affection, to treat him that way.

But it left a very bitter taste in his mouth.

It was the same with Count Vardy. His disappointment in Sebastian had been clear as day from the moment he first started acting all evil. But by now, the Count didn't care. He didn't expect anything different from Sebastian. Anything better.

In Count Vardy's eyes and heart, perhaps Sebastian was no different from those same pigs and wolves in human clothing, lusting after Acier—the same ones Vardy had cursed all those years ago at her coming-of-age ceremony.

It was disheartening for the Count, so he tried not to think about it.

Strangely, that didn't affect the real Sebastian much. He had already disappointed so many people—many of whom were closer and dearer to him than the Count—that for Vardy to start treating him like air, ignoring him, and avoiding him barely made any waves in his heart.

A year later, Count Vardy was succeeded by his son, and Vardy slowly exited the noble picture, entering retirement.

Sebastian didn't know if he'd ever see his old mentor again. Perhaps one day, he'd overhear some news of the man's passing.

The thought of that did upset him a bit.

But only a bit.

—

Sebastian—the real Sebastian—was disappointed in Nebra and Solid.

Perhaps Nozel had set the bar too high, with his resilient heart, magical aptitude, level head, great intelligence, and more. Compared to him, Nebra and Solid seemed pathetic, even if their accomplishments were decent.

But Sebastian expected more from the younger siblings of Nozel Silva. The children of Acier Silva. The grandchildren of Nathaniel.

Their test scores and progress in their studies were barely above average for main-line noble children, as were their magical lessons.

It didn't help that, next door in Castle Vermillion, Kirsch was making waves as a magical and tactical prodigy. Though his personality left much to be desired, he was an undeniable genius in many categories.

The Vermillions had Mereoleona, Fuegoleon, and Kirsch for their "new" generation.

While the Silvas had only Nozel to compare them to.

Sebastian understood that perhaps it was unfair to compare. Kirsch, despite neither of his parents being Magic Knights, was descended from a main royal line on both sides, possessing an abundance of mana—his talent was essentially a given.

As for Mereoleona and Fuegoleon, their father had been a Captain. It was only natural for them to measure up to or surpass that.

Meanwhile, Sebastian himself was severely lacking compared to Acier.

Essentially, I was the source of bad genes.

But still, he had thought that with Nozel as a model, if one worked hard enough—even if they never caught up to Acier or surpassed her in their lifetime—they could still be great.

But Nebra and Solid seemed weak-willed.

Nebra's magical talent wasn't too high, but she worked hard. Solid's was decent, but he was a bit lazy. That was understandable—he had only just turned three—but Sebastian had a feeling things wouldn't simply change as he got older.

In essence, it all came down to them being coddled.

Acier and Nozel spoiled them.

The trials and tribulations that Nozel had faced growing up—many of which had been by Sebastian's own hand—were not the same for Nebra and Solid. Their older brother had shielded them from it all.

Sebastian was a practical stranger to his two youngest children.

He and Nozel met quite often, so Nozel could take his future lordship lessons and learn to mimic his behavior—to take over House Silva as soon as he turned twenty-one.

But Nebra and Solid didn't have to go through any of that.

They just spent most of their time with their mother and brother when he was available. Carefree. Smiling. Having fun.

That left Sebastian conflicted.

On one hand, he was disappointed in them.

On the other, he was happy for them. They got to act like children. They got the childhood Nozel never had.

So he did his best to avoid them, only ever seeing them when Nozel or their mother was present, so he couldn't hurt them.

He was afraid that if he accidentally approached them alone, he would hear a snap in his head—and tear into them.

He would rather be a stranger to them than a familiar bully and abuser.

So he avoided them.

But Acier didn't avoid him.

The night after Solid's third birthday, she made herself welcome in his room once more.

She wanted another child. Again.

Sebastian was starting to wonder whether Acier saw him as some sort of breeding machine.

He kept that thought to himself, of course, as his doppelgänger agreed almost mischievously on his behalf.

And with a snap, he was set free.

Sebastian prepared himself for another emotionless baby-making session.

Where he would lay down, and she would take what she wanted.

And it started out like that—at the beginning.

But by round four, Sebastian was already in desperate need of water. Not that he showed it.

And then Acier tried something.

Something stupid.

She tried to kiss him.

Sebastian—the real Sebastian—stiffened in terror as he felt his pitch-black doppelgänger looking at him menacingly from his mind.

Preparing to snap and reassume control.

Sebastian shot his hand out and grabbed Acier by the jaw before she could lean in closer.

She froze and winced in pain as he clenched her jaw tightly.

It broke Sebastian's heart.

He was the one hurting her this time.

Not his doppelgänger.

But he did it anyway.

He could not stand the idea of anyone but him sleeping with his wife.

So with a cold look, he growled darkly,

"Never try something like that again."

Tears pricked at Acier's eyes, and she nodded weakly.

Then round five was just like the night they made Nebra.

Acier did all the moving.

Her tears fell on Sebastian's face.

And he lay beneath her.

Like a dead fish.

Oh, how he wanted to wipe her tears.

Oh, how he wanted to hold her and soothe her.

Oh, how he wanted to make love to her.

But he didn't dare take that risk.

Just like that night all those years ago, when Sebastian had asked Acier for a dance, he understood once more—

He was a selfish man.

A man who only acted for his own benefit.

Despite claiming to love her more than life itself.

He only ever acted for his own peace of mind.

His own peace of heart.

And once again, Acier left with tears in her eyes.

A mere week later, she was verified to be pregnant.

Nearly as fast as they had conceived Nozel.

Sebastian wondered if that meant their next child would be something incredible.

Just like Nozel.

He wondered if that meant their next child would come a bit early, too.

—

Time continued to move.

By late August, the Clover Kingdom—led by Conrad—was looking to branch out and establish more diplomatic connections with other kingdoms.

Namely, Spade.

Diamond, of course, wasn't an option—they were already warring for Clover land again.

As for Heart, they remained neutral, as always.

The only interactions between Heart and Clover came in the form of exchange programs for noble and royal children.

So Clover turned its sights on Spade—the farthest kingdom from them, and Diamond's northern neighbor.

If Diamond had an enemy on both sides of its border, the resources and troops they could dedicate to waging war on Clover would be drastically reduced.

It was a sound strategy.

The only problem was that Spade was a peaceful and reclusive nation.

To ask them to start dedicating men and resources—stirring conflict with Diamond—with little to gain in return was no small thing.

If Clover wanted this deal, they needed a person of high standing to negotiate the treaty.

But who would be willing to cross several Grand Magic Zones and travel to a frozen tundra for something that couldn't even be guaranteed?

Conrad was willing.

But as the kingdom's premier military power, he wasn't allowed to take such a risk.

Just as the proposition was about to be shelved, the nobility was stunned when Sebastian Silva—uncharacteristically—volunteered for the role.

None of them could understand what he was up to.

Nor could the real Sebastian.

Chained in his mindscape, he could only wonder what his doppelgänger was plotting.

But he didn't fight it.

After all, he couldn't hurt his family if he was on the other side of the world.

The farther he was from them, the safer they would be.

And even better—perhaps he'd get lucky.

Perhaps he'd be ambushed by Diamond troops.

Or witches from the Witch's Forest.

Or magical beasts.

Perhaps he'd be killed during his travels.

To him, that sounded like a great deal.

So, resuming control of his body with a snap, he set out alone, braving the treacherous journey to Spade.

But what he hoped for didn't happen.

No witches.

No Diamond mage warriors.

No great magical beasts—despite him crossing their territory.

Despite them being territorial.

As his doppelgänger's mocking laughter echoed in his mind, Sebastian sighed inwardly.

Of course he'd account for that.

It was a shame Sebastian's body wasn't fully in his control.

Otherwise, he'd just throw himself into a lava pit.

Or off a cliff.

And be done with everything.

But he couldn't.

And that was how he found himself in the Spade Kingdom.

In early September.

—

In the Spade Kingdom's royal palace, the King and Queen sat beside each other on neighboring thrones.

Loyce Grinberryal was a shaggy, black-haired, bearded man with golden eyes.

Queen Ciel was youthful and beautiful, with long black hair, blue eyes, and a noticeable baby bump.

They smiled down at Sebastian as he walked forward and bowed politely—though not deferentially.

"Greetings, Your Majesties."

Loyce and Ciel exchanged a smile, and to Sebastian's surprise, they were very welcoming.

Spade was a kingdom of ice and frost, desperate for crops and supplies to feed its people. They had been trying to secure a deal with Heart for a while, but Heart had always ghosted them.

So while allying with Clover would put them at odds with Diamond, it was a risk they could afford—especially since Diamond would never launch a full-scale invasion against Spade.

There was nothing to gain.

Diamond was already rich with minerals and ores. What they needed was land—fertile land.

And Spade didn't have it.

With little to lose in this deal, as long as they could ensure the safe transport of goods from Clover—a problem easily solved by Clover's spatial magic—the agreement was reached almost immediately.

They just needed a few days to finalize the specifics and sign an official treaty.

During that time, Loyce and Ciel, strangely affectionate, played host to Sebastian.

They spoke excitedly about their soon-to-be-born son.

Loyce even showed him a magic stone he had found in a Grand Magic Zone for his child and—oddly enough—asked for Sebastian's parenting advice, leaving him stiff and awkward.

Watching Loyce and Ciel, Sebastian saw echoes of himself and Acier during her first pregnancy.

He hoped things would go well for them after their son was born—unlike how it had gone for him and Acier.

A few days later, treaty in hand, Sebastian stepped out of the throne room—only to pass a trio dressed in matching brown military coats.

The Zogratis siblings.

He wasn't sure what it was about them, but he found them irritating.

The girl with the eyepatch, in particular, was an eyesore.

And their hair…

It reminded him too much of the one boy he had hated most in the world.

Though that boy was a man by now.

—

Vanica turned, watching as Sebastian walked past without so much as glancing at her or her brothers.

She stuck out her tongue.

"Who's that weakling?"

She didn't expect an answer.

But Zenon, his voice cold and emotionless as ever, responded, "He's a diplomat from Clover. Apparently, he's the husband of the strongest woman in the world."

Vanica froze.

Then, a wide smile stretched across her face, her cheeks taking on a dangerous blush as she licked her lips.

"The strongest woman in the world, huh?"

Dante grinned. "Excellent malice, Vanica. But do keep our priorities in order, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, Big Bro Dante." Vanica nodded absentmindedly, her one eye never leaving Sebastian's retreating figure as he disappeared down the hall.

After we take this kingdom for ourselves… and after I take a little time to control this Devil's power…

I think I'll pay this Strongest Woman a visit.

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, a feminine voice rang in her head.

Excellent choice, Vanica. I look forward to it.

Vanica's smile only grew at Megicula's declaration.

—

Sebastian returned to Clover in mid-September.

He was praised for his achievements.

—

That praise didn't last long.

Not even a month after his return, word spread—

A rebellion had broken out in Spade.

The King was slain.

The Queen and the newly born prince were presumed to have met the same fate.

Sebastian froze at the news, the memory of Loyce's and Ciel's excited faces flashing through his mind.

He sighed.

That night, he sat alone in his office and poured three glasses of wine.

He toasted the other two before turning toward Spade's direction and downing a straight gulp.

Sebastian never liked wine.

But he drank anyway.

—

A month later, Acier gave birth again.

This time, to a baby girl—Noelle.

Sebastian, against his better judgment, had been about to visit.

But then he froze.

Whispers spread through the house.

Noelle looks just like her mother.

Sebastian didn't dare move.

He feared—no, he knew—that if he ever laid eyes on Noelle, he would act like Nicklaus.

And if he was ever set free—if his relationship with Acier truly ended—he feared he might project her onto their daughter.

So he didn't leave.

Just like before, with his other daughter, Nebra—

He wouldn't go to see Noelle.

Avoiding them was easy.

Acier took Noelle and Nozel to a private villa at the other end of the estate to recover from childbirth and help Nozel with his training.

Nebra and Solid went to Castle Vermillion to stay with their aunt and grandmother for a while.

Sebastian thought it was an excellent decision.

He couldn't hurt any of them if none of them were within his reach.

—

Two weeks after Noelle's birth, Sebastian sat at his desk, indifferently filling out paperwork.

His doppelganger wasn't in the mood for it and had ordered him to do it himself.

Then—

A knock at the door.

He barely raised a brow.

"Yes?"

"Sir, it's me!" The Head Butler of House Silva called out from the other side.

Sebastian blinked.

Alfred's voice—uncharacteristically anxious—sent a chill down his spine.

A foreboding feeling settled over him.

Clamping down on his apprehension, he nodded. "What is it, Pennyworth?"

"It's Lady Acier! She's fallen gravely ill!"

Sebastian froze.

The hairs on his neck stood on end.

A crackle echoed in his mind.

Before he could do anything—

Snap.

He was yanked back into his mindscape, chains tightening around him, pinning him to the black ocean once more.

He looked up at his pitch-black doppelganger, hatred burning in his eyes.

Squirming against his restraints, he hissed, "What did you do?!"

His doppelganger smiled like a devil.

And then, for the first time in nearly fifteen years, it spoke.

Its voice was identical to his.

Yet mocking.

Teasing.

"Believe it or not—"

"I've done nothing."

Sebastian's fury was plain as day.

He didn't believe him.

Not for a moment.

—

Author's Notes:

[1] Just one more chapter to go. 

[2] Feel free to join the discord: https://discord.gg/s3MME8X8ar