Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

[General POV]

*Click Click Click Click*

Non-stop photography filled the air as reporters captured the aftermath of the fire at Edward Newgate's house. All that remained was a charred remnant, with part of the cliff crumbling away and taking one-third of the house with it.

One daring journalist broke through the firefighter line, desperate for the perfect shot of the wreckage. He stepped over burned cat toys and dashed past the charred remains of a piano, making his way inside the house. He snapped a few intriguing photos, grinning to himself as he imagined the money they would bring.

Meanwhile, FBI agents worked swiftly, apprehending a photographer who had crossed the perimeter. They handcuffed him and confiscated his camera.

"No one gets past the perimeter!" Agent Smith barked at the patrol cop stationed nearby.

The arrested man struggled, shouting frantically, "There's a metal surgical bed! There's a hospital in—"

Before he could finish, the FBI agent covered his mouth and shoved him into a waiting black SUV, destined for a black site. Would he ever see the light of day again? Who knows. 

There was a short investigation open for the case until the President's representative told the people why Edward's house was attacked. Of course, the information was heavily manipulated. 

Using a live press conference, a government employee stated, "Skip Tyler, a well-known technological terrorist, took advantage of the tragedy to launch a missile at Edward Newgate's house. The attack was personal, as Skip has repeatedly attempted to breach Newgate's company website but failed disastrously—"

They wanted to take no responsibility for it and made it as a personal thing between Edward and the terrorist instead. It was the truth, but they didn't actually know that and just concocted their own story. 

Before she could finish, the President approached the podium, smiling as he gestured for her to step aside. Leaning in, he whispered, "No, we're not doing that. I'll take over now."

"But sir—" the woman protested, trying to change his mind, but it was futile. The President was resolute. He stood behind the podium, scratches visible on his face from earlier altercations, and smiled at the cameras.

"Edward Newgate is an American hero," he declared, dropping a bombshell. The reporters were baffled, their questions erupting from behind the President's security line.

Undeterred, President Obama continued, "He saved the lives of two federal agents who were being pursued by affiliates of a terrorist organization. Not only did he assist them in their escape, but he also recovered crucial information that has been instrumental in dismantling this threat. The missiles aimed at his home were intended to silence him, but he managed to evade that fate."

He paused, his gaze steady but there was a cold glint hidden inside his eyes. "I want to assure you all: I have no intention of covering up the truth. We will confront the mastermind behind these attacks. I know who you are, and I promise you, justice will be served. You should say your prayers, because I will be coming for you soon."

With that, the President dropped another bombshell and exited without taking questions. All eyes remained on him, shifting the focus away from Edward and helping him slip out of the limelight.

In Selena's apartment, the young Latina watched Edward's Instagram story. The first post showed him escaping the explosion, captioned, "Future Album Cover? Should I use this one or my mugshot?"

The fans loved Edward's stories and how he handled the situation. Next Instagram story he posted the President's article about him, captioned; 'Will I get a medal for this?'

Selena scoffed, a mix of disdain and amusement flickering across her face at Edward's self-indulgence. Still, she couldn't help but smile, relieved to see he still had a sense of humor. She glanced at another story—a black-and-white picture of Vader showing her belly with the caption, "Homeless Couple of Strays."

Turning to Taylor, who sat quietly absorbed in her phone from a chair across the room, she asked teasingly, "Hey, Ed has no place to live. Should I offer him to stay here and give him the American Hero treatment?"

Suddenly, Selena noticed tears streaming down Taylor's face. Alarmed, she sat up and retracted her words urgently. "Hey! Don't cry! I was just messing around!"

Taylor blinked, finally returning to reality as she turned to Selena. "What? What did you say?"

"N-Nothing! What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Selena rushed to comfort her, but her question only made Taylor sob harder.

"He grabbed the guitar I gave him as he escaped," Taylor choked out, her voice high-pitched and trembling as she struggled to hold back her tears. She covered her mouth, squinting her eyes as she whimpered, "But I was so mean to him."

Since the incident, as the fear faded, Taylor was overwhelmed by guilt. All this time, she thought Edward was milking his abduction for fame, but today, she finally understood—he wasn't taking advantage of anything; that was just his life.

Edward lived in danger, and she hated herself for feeling relief at not being part of it. She realized he might have felt the same way when he distanced himself from her.

Seeing the guitar in the picture made her heart ache. She couldn't help but cry, thinking about how she treated him and the long-overdue apology she owed him.

"I need to tell him I'm sorry." She cried as Selena hugged her. However, the apology wasn't aimed to get him back. For the first time in months, Taylor finally understood why Edward left her…or so she thought.

Later that night, she decided to set aside the song she wrote for him titled, 'Last Kiss' and decided to write down another song called, 'Back to September (December)'.

…

[Edward POV]

As I took a shower at Sage's place, I started to cook for the both of us. We ate in front of the tv while continuing watching her telenovela. When it was finally over, I asked her a question during the end credit.

"Sage, how did you make this house hidden?"

Sage turned with a blank expression, "You want to turn your house into a sanctuary too?"

"Is there a way?" I asked with some expectation. Since I became famous, I couldn't be at ease in my own house. It felt like it was made of glass. Every single little thing was reported by the tabloid media. 

"Is there a spell or something I should try to get in the next session?" I continued asking. Sage thought about it before she said, "You won't be able to get it."

My excitement died down and I replied sadly, "Oh. That's fine then."

Sage continued while I slumped back on the couch, "It's a ritual. I did it myself. I don't know if there's something like this on the karmic roulette."

I immediately leaned towards her and whispered, "Well, then, can you do it to my next place, or is it not possible?"

Sage sighed and shrugged, "I cannot interfere with your life."

"Damn it." I cursed slightly, lowering my head in disappointment. Sage suddenly said after a long pause, "But I've been known to bend the rules."

"Can you not jerk me around and tell me the whole thing?" I retorted with some annoyance. She narrowed her eyes at me and said, "it seem that you don't want my help-"

She tried to stand up, but I grabbed her hand immediately, stopping her from walking away, "Wait. I'm sorry. Please stay and tell me."

"Hmm," She slowly walked down and then thought about it, "If, let's say if. If you bought a house that already has the sanctuary, then, it'll not be you who asked me to put that on your house, but, you have great luck, right?"

Before I could reply, both Sage and I were shocked to see Gong Shin appeared out of knowhere. Sage yelled in horror, and I almost did too, but I realized who he was in a split second.

"Oh, it's you." I muttered casually. Sage stopped shouting and placed her hand on her chest, "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry. I can't find him anywhere, so I wanted to ask if you knew. Turns out he's here," Gong Shin said, adjusting his suit. He suddenly fixed his gaze on me. "Edward, did you blow up your own house and mask it as a missile attack?"

"Huh? No," I replied, slightly confused.

"Did you plan it out with the terrorists to get the insurance payout?" he pressed.

Befuddled, I asked, "Why are you asking me this?"

"Oh, I'm Sage's supervisor, and while I'm in this world, I'm an insurance fraud investigator." He pulled a card from his suit and handed it to me.

I was speechless for a moment, finally breaking the silence. "If you have any questions, you can speak with a lawyer."

"Hmm, sounds like something a person with a guilty conscience would say." He narrowed his eyes slightly, then smiled. "Alright. Enough mortal talk. I have to warn you: you can only stay here for a day. I know it's tough and you need shelter, so I won't kick you out in the middle of the night. But by tomorrow, you need to go."

Sage scoffed disdainfully. "Are you kicking him out because it's the rules or because you're jealous?"

"I'm not jealous he's spending time with an old granny," Gong Shin shot back. Sage stared at him in disbelief for a moment before retorting, "You're eons older than me."

As I listened to their banter, I said, "I don't plan to stay long. I'll be out by tomorrow."

"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a fraud case to investigate." He adjusted his suit again and vanished. I turned to Sage, still in disbelief, and asked, "Is there anything going on between you two that I should know about?"

"No," she replied curtly. "You should get some rest." She stood up and walked to her room, returning with a blanket and pillow for me to sleep on the couch. Her house only had one bed, after all.

As I lay down, she left again to go to sleep. I grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "I'll give you a list of the houses I might buy later."

"Done. What about my remuneration?" she asked.

"What do you want?"

"Hmm, I like shopping," she mumbled. "I'll give you a credit card with unlimited—Sorry, no. I won't give it to you. I'll just drop it somewhere, maybe at your house, and won't ever check the bills before paying."

"Great thinking." She seemed slightly impressed and patted my hand affectionately. "Go to sleep."

"Love you, Granny," I muttered teasingly as I laid my head on the pillow. To my surprise, Sage smiled and patted my head. "Love you too, child."

As she left, I was left speechless and bewildered by the brief moment, yet I felt a warmth inside. Using my rest skill, I fell asleep within seconds, only to wake up at 4 a.m. the next morning.

Surprisingly, Sage was already awake. 

… 

[General POV]

As Edward drifted into sleep, Gong Shin reappeared inside Sage's house, gliding silently toward her bedroom. Even Vader, usually alert, didn't sense his presence.

"I expected you to come again," Sage said, sitting on the edge of the bed, her expression serious. "We need to make this quick."

Gong Shin locked the door, his movements calm but deliberate. "Yes, dear. There's much to discuss." He spoke in a flirty manner. 

Sage narrowed her eyes, concern etched on her face. "What happened today? This was never supposed to occur. Is this Krampus's doing?" She had a slight anger in her tone, but tried to keep her face stoic. 

"Ah, you've caught on to his tricks," Gong Shin replied, his voice weary as he slouched beside her. "He loves to test his targets, to see if they can maintain their composure under pressure. It's all part of his twisted game. But on a brighter note, Edward handled it remarkably well."

Sage raised an eyebrow, breaking her stoic facade. It was useless for her to act cool anyway since Gong Shin knew her pretty well. "Remarkably well? After everything that happened?" She asked angrily. 

"Yes," he affirmed, nodding slightly. Without minding Sage's anger, he explained, "Despite being thrust into an impossible situation, Ed kept his cool. He thought on his feet and prioritized the safety of those around him."

"Sure, he lost his home, but that was never the true aim of the test. It was about control—his control over the chaos. A lot of people went neurotic when they were blessed with the afterlife certification, thinking that they were better than everyone else. Edward is different. He desperately wants to be human."

"I went there halfway during the test, and I oversaw the whole thing myself. Ed was never in danger." Gong Shin comforted Sage. "So spare Krampus' life. He's a trickster, but he's still a good guy."

Sage crossed her arms, her annoyance palpable. "If I find him first, I may not."

"Then, I gotta work harder." Gong Shin chuckled before he stood up, wanting to leave. But before he disappeared, he smirked to Sage and said, "So, Ed'll drop his credit card huh? Make sure to give him back."

Sage was stunned and immediately turned to Gong Shin, but he was already gone. "Damn it." She cursed, then she suddenly realized something, "Wait. He never told me I can't do it."

…

[Edward POV]

Sage and I shared breakfast together before I left the house in a loose V-neck shirt, short pants, and a bathrobe, with Vader in tow, trotting alongside me wherever I go.

"I'll leave the house search to Phil, so you just need to tag along with him," I told Sage.

"And how will I do that naturally?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Simple. I'll tell him I wanted to hire a shaman to check for bad juju in the house. Phil will respect that decision, even if he thinks I'm a bit odd. I can blame it on my post traumatic stress, so it won't affect me much."

Sage nodded but then realized something as I started to walk away. "Hey, but he'll think I'm a weirdo too!"

"Too late! You already nodded. It's a legally binding agreement," I retorted with a grin as I got into my car and drove off quickly.

"Vadie, I need to find some clothes. I can't go to work looking like this," I muttered, scratching Vader's chin. She meowed slightly and circled around the passenger seat before settling down.

It was only 5:30 in the morning; there were no cars on the street, and no stores were open. I could return to my childhood home and grab some clothes, but that place was currently surrounded. Paparazzis, fans, insurance agents– I couldn't get 100 meters near that place before I would be mobbed by the crowd. 

"I have no other choice," I mumbled solemnly. "I need to buy clothes from *gag* ugh, Target."

"Meow." Vader chimed in, sounding incredulous.

"You're right, Vader. I can't be seen buying clothes from there. It'll ruin my entire brand." I agreed with her and made a left at the traffic light.

Driving back to my childhood neighborhood, I parked right in front of the Dunphys' house and walked to the door. I rang the doorbell, not expecting anyone to open it so early.

To my surprise, as soon as the door opened, I strummed my guitar to the tune of "Apology Song" from The Book of Life and sang, "Alex, I am humbled. But I beg you to understand. A missile just hit my house and all that was left is sand—"

Before I could finish, Alex rushed in and gave me a bear hug. "Oof! Come on, Alex, I still haven't gotten to the chorus yet."

"I don't care." She sniffled, her voice thick with emotion. "I was so worried yesterday." After releasing me, she glared and punched my arm. "You take too long to reply to your texts, you idiot!"

Her hair was sticking up and frizzed, her face slightly puffy, like someone who had just woken up.

"Oww! How can you hit a homeless man? Where has humanity gone to?" I winced exaggeratedly. Alex looked around urgently, then pulled me inside the house. "Get in," she urged, worried that someone might spot me and I'd get into trouble again.

As I stepped inside, I noticed pillows and blankets strewn across the living room couch. "Did you sleep in the living room?" I asked, surprised.

"That's… Ugh, I don't want to talk about it." She quickly changed the subject. "Why are you here?"

"Oh, I'm here to meet your dad," I replied. "And see if I can grab some of his clothes. I can't go to work like this."

Alex smirked slightly, sarcasm lacing her words. "Why, you look like yourself."

"I look like the guy from The Big Lebowski. Can you check if your dad is up yet? If he's still sleeping, just let him be." Alex picked up Vader while I was talking and hugged her tightly. 

The kids were on holiday, so the parents usually took the chance to sleep in. Claire typically woke around 6 AM to prepare for the kids' school, but today, she set the alarm for 7:30. I didn't want to disturb them. 

"I heard Ed!" Phil called, rushing down the stairs with Claire close behind. They had been startled by the doorbell and the muffled voices of Alex and me.

Phil tripped and rolled down the last few steps. "Oh my god!" Alex exclaimed in disbelief. "Phil!" I was concerned, but he quickly stood up, brushing himself off. "I'm okay."

He rushed in and, like Alex, wrapped me in a bear hug. "Ed! We were so worried about you yesterday." Claire joined in, making it a group hug. 

"Meow! (Release me kitchen wench)" Vader struggled within Alex's embrace, trying to get free.

…

After changing into normal clothes—a brown sweatshirt and jeans—I thanked Phil for his help. Unfortunately, none of his clothes fit me, so I ended up wearing a shirt he had ordered in the wrong size from an online shop.

"Ed, I'll make some pancakes. Don't go to work yet. Rather, don't go to work at all. Get some rest today. You've been through a lot." Claire said, giving me extra affection today.

I replied, "Oh, I really can't do that, Claire. I already missed yesterday's filming."

Claire scoffed and said, "No one worked yesterday. Everyone was glued to the TV. They didn't even shoot one scene."

I said wearily, "That's why I have to be there today."

Alex snorted and added, "Yeah, Mom. Don't get in the way of Ed making money. You'll do more damage to him than the terrorists."

Phil patted my shoulder before massaging it from behind. "Alex, be careful how you speak about an American hero. You don't want to attract the ire of the country."

"Yeah, Alex. Watch out." I backed up Phil, earning a challenging look from her. "Hmm, tell me, Ed. How much did you make participating in the event yesterday?"

"Directly? None—um, minus twenty million," I replied casually. "Indirectly, well... a whole lot."

"See?" Alex pointed a finger at me. "Not a hero."

"Stop being a hater, Alex," Claire admonished her. "Yeah, Alex. Stop being a hater." I chimed in teasingly. Suddenly, Luke appeared out of nowhere and said, "Alex, stop being a hater."

"Hi, Luke."

"I smell pancakes." Luke ignored me and headed straight for the food. But Claire slapped his hand and said, "Go brush your teeth."

"Oww." Luke whimpered and walked away. I looked at him, puzzled, before turning back to Alex. "Did he even know what happened yesterday?"

"He played games all day. I don't think he does," Alex replied, equally confused by Luke's reaction.

"Alex, can you get Haley? She was so worried yesterday." Phil asked Alex slowly. Alex suddenly grumbled and said decisively, "No."

"Huh? Did you guys fight again?" I asked, excited for the tea. Alex rolled her eyes and said, "How can we not? She's so thoughtless–"

Claire interrupted immediately, "Pancakes here!" Realizing that Claire did that on purpose to make Alex stop, it seemed that the tea was piping hot. Or dumb. It could be both.

Then, I suddenly got a moment of clarity. 'I shouldn't hang out with Pepper too much. Now I look forward to hearing the gossip too.'

…

In Haley's bedroom, as she slept, she suddenly felt a gentle brush of her hair. A smile crept across her face, enjoying the sensation, until she realized it wasn't a dream. She opened her eyes slightly and saw me sitting on the edge of her bed, brushing her hair.

"Good morning, sunshine. Happy birthday—"

"Ed!" Haley pounced on me, wrapping her arms around my neck in a tight hug. Clothes were strewn all over the floor and bed—bags of fabric, a half-body mannequin, needles and thread, even a project board cluttered her room.

There was barely any room to walk, which probably explained why the sisters fought. They shared the same room, and Haley's stuff was encroaching on Alex's side.

Suddenly, Haley released me and flopped back on the bed, looking at me in confusion. "My birthday is tomorrow, though."

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to give you a sexy memory," I joked flirtatiously.

"Sexy? While wearing my dad's clothes?" she shot back playfully. Then she realized something, her eyes widening as she covered her bare face with her hands.

"Turn around! Don't look!"

"Don't worry. You're still beautiful," I said with a slight chuckle before adding, "Get downstairs after you wash up. We're eating pancakes."

She giggled slightly as she watched me leave, and I couldn't help but smile at her teasing expression.

"What?" I asked.

"No. I can't just get that wake-up call out of my mind," she replied.

I chuckled. "I told you it's a sexy memory."

Downstairs at the dining table, the topic of their shared room came up again. The conversation heated up as both sisters turned to their parents, declaring, "I can't live in the same room with her anymore."

"Um, honey, we talked about this," Claire said, gritting her teeth. She clearly thought it wasn't a topic that should be discussed in front of guests.

"Claire. Don't worry about me. As your boss, I should get personally involved in the employees' home affairs to enhance efficiency in the workplace," I said, slathering butter on my pancakes.

"You do?" Phil and Luke asked at the same time, their eyes wide.

Alex grimaced at them, shooting a disdainful look. "NO!"