Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

When we arrived home at around 10 pm, Abby and I escorted Haley to her house this time.

"Why?" Haley asked in confusion.

"To ensure your safety." I lied through my teeth. The reason was to not let Haley bother us when Abby returned to my house afterward. We had an intense makeout session before Abby returned to her house at midnight.

Finally, my dad returned home smelling like perfume, cigar, and alcohol.

"Did you have a great time?" I asked him teasingly.

"That Sal…How could anyone be so …" Ted blurted out unconsciously as he was a bit drunk now. Although he didn't finish his words, I noticed that his shirt was tucked in only at one side, and there was some lipstick mark on his neck.

"Slutty?" I finished his words for him. "I thought you would spend the night with her. Too bad you left early."

Ted was stunned speechless at my casualty when I found out my own father was hooking up with a random woman at a bar.

"What? Pepper already told me all the details." I smirked.

The next morning came, and I woke up at 8 am on a Sunday. Today, Ted had gone to work extremely early instead of waiting after we had breakfast together, so I guess he was embarrassed.

"Even though they didn't sleep together." I muttered in dissatisfaction.

After having breakfast, I decided to jog around the neighborhood. Wearing a simple gray sweater and gray sweatpants, I put on my running shoes and started to run.

The reason why I was running is simple. Because someone invited me.

"Good morning." Abby said while running beside me the minute I started jogging. She didn't wear makeup today, but her face was still pretty.

The first thing I did was running a little slower to let her pass me and to check out her behind as she was wearing long yoga pants and a cropped top that revealed her belly.

"Really? You're seducing me early this morning?" I said while admiring her jiggling bubble butt from behind. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail style, bouncing up and down as she ran.

"Run beside me Perv." Abby admonished me even though she was flattered. As she wanted to study in the field of forensic – and basically become a cop, she had kept herself active and even learned self defense such as taekwondo and karate – a black belt in both.

Running beside her, I asked, "Didn't you always jog with your mom? Why are you jogging alone today?"

"Ugh. Don't remind me of that. Mom is not yet waking up. She got drunk and interrogated me about all the things we did last night. I think she had gone running too…somewhere…"

Gulping my saliva, I asked, "Did you tell her?"

Abby grinned mischievously and asked, "What do you think?"

"Well. She is still letting you meet me, so I guess you didn't tell her anything." I said and slapped her butt before I ran faster forward.

"Ouch. You little-" Abby cursed and started to chase me.

While I was messing around with Abby, I saw the Dunphy's, mostly Claire, Phil and Luke, riding a bike on the streets. Although Phil and Claire's bike was fine, Luke was riding a small, girly white bike with cute tassel ribbon streamers on the handle and a basket on the front.

"Hey. Good Morning." I said as I ran towards them.

"Ohh! It's the artist. Can I have your autograph?" Phil greeted me happily. Surprised by the sudden encounter, the whole family stopped their bike to talk.

"Enjoying a little date in the morning?" Claire asked teasingly as she saw Abby running towards me from behind.

"Yup." I replied casually, causing Abby to hit me in the arm as soon as she arrived at my location. "We're not on a date."

"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Claire." Claire said and introduced herself to Abby.

"I'm Abby." She waved meekly towards Claire.

"Luke, why are you riding a girls bike?" I asked. Phil turned to Claire as if telling Claire that he had made the right decision.

[Phil and Claire Commentary]

Phil explained the situation, "My son has been riding his sister's old bike."

Claire interjected quickly, "Until he's responsible enough To take care of his own bike. Look, he spilled a soda on my computer. He ruined our digital camera taking pictures of himself underwater-"

"It's a girl's bike." Phil said, causing Claire to avoid Phil's eyes. " I'm all for teaching him a lesson, But I worry about the ridicule he might get from some loudmouth bully."

"Phil. My dad called him a little bo peep one time." Claire whispered.

[Commentary ends]

"This is my last time riding it. Dad is going to buy a new one for me this afternoon." Luke said in excitement.

"Oh. I was thinking that…if you want, I can strip off the paint and we can make this a boy's bike together. But getting a new bike is better."

"What? Can you change it?" Luke asked in shock.

"Luke. it's better to buy the new one. After all, you're getting bigger." Phil said. Claire whispered to Phil, "But if Ed changed it, he didn't have to buy one. Also, Haley is not going to get mad. Besides, I don't know why you didn't do this in the first place."

Phil said in defense, getting a little emotional, "Oh I'm sorry that I have a gag reflex to the smell of paint Claire!"

"Phil..That's not what I meant." Claire tried to defend herself, but Phil's feelings were already hurt. As the family drama deepened, I decided it's time for me to take my leave.

"I'm sorry guys. I have to go now. Have to keep my heart rate up." I said and waved goodbye to the family before I started jogging with Abby again.

"You're really close to that family." Abby said after we had run far away till the family was no longer to be seen.

"Yeah. I guess I am. They are pretty fun." I replied honestly with sweats dripping from my chin. We rested at a park for a while after we had jogged.

"Do 10 pushups. Now!" Abby suddenly ordered as we reached the secluded area of the park. Tilting my head in confusion, I asked, "Why?"

"I will kiss you ONE time when you finish TEN pushups." Abby smiled mischievously and challenged me. Even though our heights were the same, my body was skinnier than her.

"I heard your offer, and I will in turn give mine." I said.

"What is it?" Abby asked intrigued.

"I'll follow you do your exercise routine today, and you'll give me a kiss…"

"That's easy enough. I usually do 3 reps. You're losing in the deal-"

With a smirk, I said, '...I'm not finished yet. You'll give me ONE kiss…in front of your mom."

"PERV!" Abby shouted and pinched my stomach. "Just for that, I'll sit at your back while you're on your last rep."

She forced me to do the pushups now. I smirked and said, "You keep talking like that is a punishment. I'll say this again. It's not. I'll be very glad when you sit on me."

So she did it on the first rep. While I was in the pushup stance, Abby sat on crossed legs on my back. "Oh. Soft." I muttered.

"Let's see if you can still be cocky after this." Abby said.

After doing 10 pushups, I started feeling the extra weight on my back burdening my body. My hands shook, but I still managed to do ten.

"Hmph. Lucky." Abby said in dissatisfaction and got off my back. "Hold my legs. I'm going to sit up." Abby ordered. Although I was tired, I hugged her raised knees while she was lying flat on the ground.

"One." I counted, and Abby brought her body up. Then, I gave her a peck on the lips the moment she managed to sit up. She paused while narrowing her eyes at me.

"What are you waiting for? Get back down. Two is next." I said with an innocent face. "Hpmh!" Abby scoffed and got back down. Then, she sat up for the second time, and I kissed her again.

"Stop that." Abby said, getting down for the third time.

"Okay. This time, I won't move. Your choice whether you want to kiss me or not." I said and leaned my head a bit closer towards her. Abby sat up slowly as she was being indecisive. Then, she kissed me lightly as she did it.

"See. You want to do it too." I smirked and said cockily. Abby's face flushed, but not because of the exercise. As she sat up for the fourth time…Well…you know how this goes.\

We were both breathing heavily after we finished the exercise. Our body was sweaty, and it tasted a little salty everytime we shared a kiss.

"So. Want to go back to my place and shower together?" I invited Abby teasingly while we walked home together.

But then, before she even answered, Desire popped out of nowhere with her own jogging outfit – A barely fittable sports bra, and a short bike short that accentuate her cameltoe as she ran.

"Hey Abby. You wouldn't be able to guess what just happened?!" Desire said in excitement and hugged her sweaty daughter with her sweaty body. As their bodies collided, I thought secretly, 'This family is too much for a teenage boy like me.'

I enjoyed the view with my eyes as my body instinctively reacted to it. Luckily, I was wearing sweatpants at this moment.

…

[3rd Person POV]

10 minutes before, while Edward and Abby were working out together, Desiree was running around, searching for her daughter for them to run together, she crossed paths with the Dunphys who were riding their bike.

"Hey." Claire greeted politely as she saw Desiree passing by in her sexy clothings. It was an instinctive greet, as she knew Desiree from the school.

Desiree stopped running and said with a bright smile, "Hi!"

A bit helpless as Desiree started to stop instead of nodding politely or greeted politely before moving on her own way just like a normal person would, Claire decided to introduce her family, "Oh, okay. Hi, um This is my husband, Phil."

"Hi." Desiree said, turning her attention solely to Phil. Inside her mind, she knew she had seen Phil's face before, but she couldn't make out when she saw him. Therefore, she kept staring at him.

Claire continued, "And that's my son, Luke, right there." She pointed at Luke who was still biking around in his girly bike. Desiree turned to Luke and muttered to herself, "Cute."

"Phil. This is Desire." Claire pronounced her name as the English word.

Desiree decided to introduce herself properly, "Desiree (The-Si-Ray)" while extending her hand to Phil. .

Phil shook it while Claire apologized for mentioning her name wrong.

A bit vigilant by her man's blatant staring at the hot mom, Claire explained, "Desiree just moved in down the block." Phil turned to Claire while she was talking, and turned his head back to Desiree so fast his next almost had a whiplash.

"Fun. Where?" Phil said

"At 314." Desiree said while still keeping a polite smile.

" Oh, the two-bedroom cottage With the indoor/outdoor family room. Very good." Phil suddenly said.

Leaning her head forward in confusion, Desiree asked, "How did you–"

"Bet you're loving that steam shower." Phil said.

"Phil, that's creepy." Claire admonished quickly.

"Oh, sorry." Phil laughed and explained, "I'm a real-estate mogul.What?! No, I am a real-estate agent. Um, we caravanned that house."

While Desiree's boobs were jiggling, Phil said, "Great, uh, deck"

"Thanks. I'm just there till my divorce is final." Desiree said.

"Now, who is coconuts enough to divorce you?" Phil flirted unconsciously.

Claire decided that it's enough for Phil now, "We got to go, but we'll see you around."

"Well, we'll have to have you over sometime." Phil offered without talking to his wife first.

Widening her eyes, Desiree replied while touching Phil's arm, "I'd love it."

"All right." Phil said.

"Bye." Desiree waved at the family as she started running again.

"Bye." Claire said from afar.

"She's awesome." Phil said to his wife.

"No, we are never having her over." Claire said quickly. "I heard she already slept with two dads from the school."

Turning toward Desiree with an expectant expression, Phil said, "What? Mm-hmm..That's…Horrible," Before he started to cycle, not looking at where he was going, but instead he was checking Desiree's direction.

" Dad! Watch out." Luke called out as their bike almost crashed into one another as Phil wasn't paying attention.

"Oh, watch it, buddy." Phil warned Luke as he moved his bike away from the possible crash.

"Grandma." Luke teased.

…

[Edward's POV]

"What happened mom? Are you okay?" Abby asked in concern as her mom was hugging her.

"No. That's not it. Guess what? Someone invited me to their house." Desiree said as she released Abby from her embrace.

Feeling happy for mother, Abby said, "That's great mom! Who are they?!"

"The Dunphys." Desiree answered. Abby turned to me with astonished eyes as she heard the family's name.

"See. I told you they are awesome." I said, although I knew how Claire really felt about Desiree.

'I think I need to talk to her about this.' While hiding my thoughts from the happy family, I learned a bit about why Desiree was ostracized by the community here. It was after a husband from the school was blatantly flirting at her, and was caught by his wife.

Then, the rumors started that Desiree was trying to seduce every man in his path, trying to become a homewrecker, and everything else. In fact, she wasn't even attracted to the man, nor was she flirting back. She hated men who cheated on their wives the most, why would she ever date such a man?

"Urgh. My body feels sticky and uncomfortable. I couldn't wait to take a shower." Desiree whined after we arrived at her house.

"You want to shower together, Ed?" Desiree said, causing me to widen my eyes.

"MOM!" Abby called out in disbelief before I could even answer.

"Wait. Sorry. I meant, do you want to use our shower Ed? I will fix us up for some breakfast. You must be hungry from all that…exercise." Desiree teased while looking at the both of us.

"Nah, if we aren't showering together, then I'm going to go home." I teased, causing Abby to smack my hand. "I can't believe both of you!" Abby stampeded off in anger, leaving me and Desiree alone in the front door.

While laughing, I said, "I'll go home now."

"Okay. The offer still stands. You know…until lunch time." Desiree said and waved me off. But, instead of going to my house, I walked to the Dunphy's and knocked on their door. Alex opened the door and was surprised to see me standing there.

"Hey Alex. Is your mom and dad inside?" I asked.

"Yeah. They had just returned. Come on in." Alex said and opened the door fully for me to walk in.

"Thanks." I said and I walked to the kitchen where the family was having brunch together.

"Hey. It's Edward again!" Phil said from the dining table where the family was eating together. Haley turned toward me in shock, and she quickly hid her face under the table.

"What's with her?" Luke asked.

"No makeup." Claire replied nonchalantly, wiped her fingers with a napkin and stood up to greet me.

"Have you eaten yet Eddy?" Claire asked and then offered, "If you want, you can join us for brunch."

"It's okay. I'll make some food at home." I said.

"Ridiculous." Phil suddenly interjected before I could get to my next sentence. "Come. Sit here next to Haley. Join us!"

"Yeah. Sit next to the no makeup Haley." Luke made fun of his sister. "I'm finished." Haley said and hid her face from me using her palm as she walked to her bedroom.

Smiling at Haley's antics, I said to Claire, "I actually come to speak with you."

"Me? About work?" Claire asked calmly.

"No. About Desiree." I said, causing Claire to be stunned, and Phil dropped his fork, causing some clatters inside the kitchen.

"W-W-W-W-What do you want to talk to me about?...About Desire?...Did she make a move on you?" Claire became extremely panicked and started to stutter. "Phil. Take Luke to go play on the trampoline!" Claire ordered.

"But I haven't finished eating!" Phil said in a dejected tone.

"NOW!" Claire said, causing both Phil and Luke to scurry away outside the house.

"Yeah, she invited me to shower at her house." I said.

"That…slut!-" Claire cursed, but stopped her reaction when I continued, "Because. She is my girlfriend's mother."

"Oh. Abby's mom?" Haley said from afar, still eavesdropping the conversation as she quickly put on her makeup.

"Yup…Wherever it is you are." I said, turning around to search for Haley, but didn't find her location anywhere.

"You know her, Haley?" Claire asked.

"Yes. She's my friend. She scored 2000 on her SATs. A genius." Haley replied from out of nowhere again. Claire was secretly shocked when she heard the facts.

"W-What do you want to talk to me about?" Claire asked with an uncomfortable feeling inside her chest.

"Not much. Phil invited Desiree to come to your house right? I am hoping that you won't cancel. After all, you're the first EVER family to invite her into their house."

"No. You're lying…" Haley said in shock from afar.

Alex then interjected, "Why is mom the first one to invite her? She seems nice?"

"Because of a rumor." I explained to Alex.

"Ugh, I'm so sick of the rumors." Haley said and walked into the kitchen with her face ready this time.

"It's not a rumor. I heard from my friend Bethany about it." Claire said, trying to defend herself.

"Ain't it convenient. When a hot divorce moved into a neighborhood, rumors about her sleeping around with people's husbands suddenly came out, justifying the actions of the insecure housewives with cheating husbands to control their man's life… and to push Desiree far… far away to keep their husband?"

"Yeah mom. Isn't that Convenient?" Alex said deliberately while crossing her arms. She understood the situation perfectly with limited information. As an outsider, she knew how baseless rumors can be, and Desiree was a victim in this part.

"Yes..But…" Claire glanced at Phil, wondering if she had done the same thing to protect her man too.

"If you want to know for sure if the rumors are true or not, why don't we trace it back to the source. The rumors said Desiree had slept with 2 husbands from the school. Tell me, who are those husbands? Why isn't their name mentioned?"

Claire opened her mouth, and then she pulled her head back in confusion and realization. "Wait. Who did she sleep with?"

Haley was confused, "So…Apparently she slept with 2 guys…but no one will tell us who those 2 guys are?"

"If they were even real in the first place." Alex explained.

"Ahh..So fake rumors huh?" Haley said.

"Also. Most wives couldn't help but be wary toward Desiree as she's pretty, easy going and friendly. Her situation is like Gloria's."

"Wait. There's rumors about Gloria too?" Alex asked in shock.

"No. There isn't. Don't lie to me." Claire said. Then, I called Gloria on the spot and put the call on loudspeaker.

"What are you doing? Don't ask her that?!" Claire tried to snatch the call from me, but it was already connected.

"Ello?" Gloria picked up the call.

"Hey Gloria. It's me Ed. I want to ask you something, but the topic will be a little uncomfortable."

"It's okay. If it's uncomfortable, then I won't answer." Gloria said casually.

"Okay. Have you ever been left out by the parents around here in activities, or them letting Manny play with their children, as they fear that you will steal their husbands?"

"Ayyy. Many times! And their husbands is ugly too…Why would I ever want to steal them!?" Gloria replied honestly.

"Are there any rumors about you that were spread unfairly?" I asked again while Claire was speechless.

"Let me think…There is one about me being from a cartel. There is one about me having diseases. The most unfair one was me worshiping A Goat head. Who is a Goat Head? Why do I need to worship him? I eat goat."

Laughing a bit, I said, "Gloria. I think they meant worshiping Satan or the devil."

"Ayy No…See… Terrible rumors. Why do you ask?"

Claire snatched the phone from me and asked, "So Gloria. Is this rumor…a common thing for you?"

"No. Before I got divorced…Everyone loved me. Then, when I split up with my husband…, everyone was afraid of me..stealing their UGLY husbands. When I moved to California and married Jay, the rumors died down a bit. Ayy no. Why are you there Claire?" Gloria suddenly realized with whom she was talking too.

"Gloria is Gloria. I still couldn't believe that the rumors weren't true." Claire said.

"What rumors? Hello?" Gloria asked from the other line, but was ignored.

"Then. If rumors are indeed true-" I said and turned toward Haley and held her face lovingly.

"W-what are you doing?" Haley asked, flabbergasted by the sudden touch. Then, I traced her lips with my finger, causing Haley to freeze on the spot before I kissed her…or pretended that I kissed her. I actually kissed my thumb while showing everyone that I was kissing her.

"What are you doing-!" Claire said and separated us forcefully.

"Well. There is a rumor about Haley being my pet. A pet that both me and my girlfriend enjoy together. Isn't that right Alex?"

"Right now, I'm only glad that you didn't choose a worse rumor to make your point." Alex said nonchalantly while Haley's brain was short circuiting.

"Don't worry. I didn't kiss her. I only pretended to do so." I explained with a mischievous smile as Claire was freaking out.

"Yo-You did that to make a point?" Claire was flabbergasted by my boldness, while Haley got angry at me. "How dare YOU USE ME?!"

"Maybe he mistook you for public property." Alex said sarcastically.

"What?!" Haley gasped in offense, and stampeded off angrily to tell her dad what I had just done.

"See Claire. It was very hard for an outsider to get along with a new community. Gloria got Jay, but Desiree was only alone with Abby. And if you ask her about it, she will tell you why she would never date a married man."

"So. What do you want me to do?" Claire asked honestly.

"Just invite her over, and treat her like one of your friends. She will really appreciate that. And since I know Phil can't be trusted, I will keep him at my house."

Claire finally gave up and said, "Okay. I'll invite her this afternoon."

"Nice. Invite Abby too. She's pretty smart, I'm sure she will be best friends with Alex."

"Sure. 2000 in the SATs. I'd be willing to be her friend." Alex said while being proud.

"What happened? Why is Haley mad?" Luke asked as he entered the house. "Where is she?" I asked.

"I don't know why, but dad suddenly hugged her while she was venting– making her more angry." Luke explained.

"Do you want to go with me to buy a bike?" Luke asked.

"Sure. Let's call your dad and go together." I agreed to and rubbed Luke's curly hair.

While we're planning for the evening, my phone line was still connected to Gloria's.

"Ay. They kissed?"

"What are they talking about now?" Jay asked.

"I don't know. Hello?" Gloria called out again for someone to respond to her.