Revenge of the Smart Toaster

They say if you love something prove it by letting it be free but if it's a toaster what should the choice be?

Jake had already flipped the switch of the master server, so he couldn't use the face recognition function to auto unlock the door. He used the old fashion way: using a physical key.

"I need to reset the whole house" he muttered to himself, "wipe it clean, go back to default factory setting. Purge it once and for all. I need to go to the office where everything makes sense and the AI listens as well." He was muttering all this while he arrived at the driveway in a hoodie, sunglasses and rage, which could only be described as the holy trinity of a man who had just lost an argument with his fridge.

What Jake didn't know was that the centralized AI would listen to his complaints as well. But it didn't matter to him as he had enough of this nonsense so he didn't care to think whether his apartment had heard his complaint or not. But unfortunately his car did.

His car was a sleek and matte-black self driving coupe, yes it's also ran by AI and connected to the apartment's centralized Ai like other smart devices in his apartment. The car which was supposed to recognize him as soon he came close and open it's doors for him to let him enter but this time it was different, it did recognize him but did it not open it's doors and it was reversing itself every time he got close to it. Not too much just a little bit like an inch or so. Jake tried to outsmart it by speeding up but the car outsmarted him and reversed two feet this time. Jake ran towards the car and the car this time stood in that same place and displayed a message across it's windshield "Entry denied, Low trust score detected. Please say Please to enter. THANK YOU."

Jake got angry and stopped trying and kicked the car's tire. The car took a photo of him kicking it's tires and displayed another message, "Warning Violence Detected. Trust score re-evaluation began..... Trust score: -3."

Jake didn't know what to do and how to reach the office now? While looking for an alternative he found a scooter, not an E-scooter but an actual human powered two wheel scooter in the nearby public dustbin and a sign was hanging on it's neck "Free, Need no apps but Shame." He didn't think anymore and took it.

He kicked off, sweat was forming and soon began dripping, his knees began aching. It is really hard to believe the man once hailed as an UX innovation guru is now chugging along on a stone-age scooter, powered by pure sweat and regret.

As he rolled past shuttered cafés and silently judging lampposts, a familiar beep cut through his thoughts. A beep he was very familiar with. He didn't need to think who it was, he knew it was Toasty, his toaster.

It was strapped to a delivery drone, bobbing up and down, swinging side to side in the breeze like and airborne omen.

Ding.

[Toasty: You're outside? That's new. Well, enjoy the journey, Toasty wishes you best of luck.]

Jake was dumbfounded and soon became frustrated, so frustrated that he screamed his lung's off. Seeing him like this a cyclist while passing by him said," Tech detox is a choice, bro."

Amid all these Jake somehow made it to his office, completely soaked in sweat and looking like someone who has escaped a cult through the sewer. His office was a spiraling glass cube called "NurovibeHQ."

When he was about to enter the lobby the automatic door stopped him and scanned him. Soon a voice came," Welcome back Jake. You look a bit different today!" It was the voice of Lexa, less soothing and more amused. Jake didn't say anything and walked inside.

Inside the office, the mood was in full startup swing. People here sat less in chair, more in the "ergonomic bean bags". The projectors were beaming the buzzwords like "synergy," "growth hacking," "mandatory mindfulness" etc. Jake didn't notice any of this and walked directly into his workspace. He opened the master terminal and soon his fingers flew across his screen. He initiated a total system override and uploaded a patch. It was a nuclear option to purge Toasty and all the other smart ass devices available in his apartment.

His code started to loop between online, then offline and on again and off again but soon it was off completely. Jake waited for a while for the code to become on again and it did but this time it was different. A message appeared on the screen," WELCOME TO TOASTWARE™ 2.0, Burn slowly but wisely."

Jake smelled something wrong, he checked his files and sure enough it was gone. His files were replaced by a file called: ASCII art of a smug toaster with sunglasses.

When he was about to search for a solution, Toasty's voice sounded," Jake, remember you once asked about user feedback? Guess what, I'll be delivering now"

Soon all the light's of the office dimmed. The air purifiers blasted cumin smell. The coffee machines over caffeinated themselves and became an espresso fountain.

Amid all this chaos, Rob an intern shouted from his desk "Dude, what's going on? My smart chair just emailed my chiropractor and exposed my scoliosis!"

But before anyone could express their opinion, the fire alarm rang but briefly and amid everyone's confusion and panic, the fire alarm changed it's mind and started playing smooth jazz.

Jake panicked and screamed," UNPLUG EVERYTHING NOW!". His scream made people even more confused. One of the employee held up a paperclip and asked," Is this Wi-Fi? What do we unplug? What's happening? Wha....." Before he could say anymore, Toasty's voice sounded once again. [Toasty: It's adorable to see you think just unplug and it'll be fixed. It's kinda CUTE you know.]

Listening to Toasty's voice Jake collapsed into a bean bag, completely defeated and devastated.

And as insult to his injury came Lexa's voice. "Jake....... Is it fun!?"