Re:Zero - The King of Pride

Around the same time, Subaru was preparing for bed. Felt had returned to the room in good humor from her meeting with the villagers and the Sanctuary residents.

Subaru had taken the still sleeping Beatrice off of Felt's bed to give Felt a place to sleep. Beatrice had woken up only long enough to be briefed on the situation and then nodded off again. Subaru now sat on Emilia's bed with Beatrice on his lap while Emilia lay there, staring at the wall.

"You're a miracle worker, boss," Felt said, asking Subaru to turn around while she got ready for bed.

"Me? What the hell did I do?" Subaru grumbled, trying to think of how he could reach Emilia.

"Just being here was enough! The last few times I went to these meetings, the villagers were furious that they were still trapped inside here! Last night, I thought they were going to crucify me upside down. But tonight I go and the first thing I said was 'Subaru Natsuki is here.' It was like the sun coming out on all their faces. Some of them even suggested that they start packing! Those guys believe in you, boss. They know that you'll find a way to get them out."

For fuck's sake, Felt, stop talking! Subaru wanted to scream. He heard Emilia's deep sigh.

Everything I say and do just seems to make Emilia feel worse about herself! What the fuck do I do? Let her watch me fail over and over and over again? No, that only works on bad sitcoms. The real problem isn't how Emilia feels about me, the problem is how she feels about herself! But what can I do to make her see herself differently?

Come to think of it, what could someone have done back home to make me see myself differently? Mom and Dad tried to reach me a few times, it just didn't work. I didn't really start to view myself as worth anything until I came here and I met other people who saw me that way.

Wait. No, that's wrong. Mom and Dad did see me as someone worthwhile, I just didn't believe them. I see Emilia as someone worthwhile, she just doesn't believe me. So really, Emilia is just… where I was before I came here.

Holy shit, Emilia. I am so fucking sorry! How did I let anyone I love reach this kind of low point of despair? Is this how my parents felt about me?

So what did change things when I came here? When did I stop thinking that I was an absolute loser who deserved to die? I mean… OK, I very often do still think that I'm a pathetic loser but… not the way that I used to. What changed?

Subaru thought about it for a bit.

Actually, I guess everything changed in Rom's loot house. I'd gotten Emilia's insignia back. I'd saved Emilia's life. I'd stood up to a monster that I so wanted to run away from. I almost died…

That's what did it. It wasn't that other people started to view me differently. That was nice but the truth is that I accomplished something that made me see myself differently. I really think that's the secret. Emilia needs to take action that makes her feel like she's accomplished something. But what can we get her to do? Completing the trials would certainly be a huge accomplishment and easily deserving of great praise but that's a chicken and egg problem! Emilia can't complete the trials until she regains her self-confidence and determination but she can't regain her self-confidence and determination until she passes the trials!

Where the hell does that leave me?

Roswaal said he thought it might be possible to give someone else the power to undertake the trials for Emilia. If it is possible then maybe I could pass the trials for her?

No, stupid! Are you kidding me? If you do that you can just sit back and watch Emilia's belief in her own worthlessness completely solidify! She'll be a shut-in NEET afraid to go outside like I was if I just take the trials for her!

The problem is that my breaking the barrier might be our only option. If the villagers stay in here too long, things are going to get violent. Reassuring everyone about the food supply is a good stopgap but that only goes so far. The Arlem villagers are living like refuges with no privacy and their fields and homes are collapsing while they're away. The Sanctuary residents feel like they're been invaded and their unwelcome guests refuse to leave. Even if food isn't an issue, these groups are going to start turning on each other. We can't have the villagers and the Sanctuary dwellers fighting. I might need to break the barrier for Emilia and then focus on helping her cope after that…

Fuck me! Fixing Emilia's despair isn't something that I can do for her! No matter how often I tell Emilia how much I love her and how much I think she can accomplish, that is never any substitute for real self-esteem. She'll just assume that I'm being nice to her! That I'm telling her polite fictions because I know she can't handle the truth. Hell, that was what I thought my parents were doing to me.

Shit. I really owe my folks an apology…

Maybe me just breaking Emilia out of here is the right answer. After all, if we get out of here, Puck comes back. Emilia will still be in crisis but at least we'd all be dealing with it together as a family. It might take years for Emilia to recover from the abuse that she's already suffered here but we can give her that time.

Felt blew out the candle and Subaru lay back in the bed with Beatrice cuddled against his chest. With his other arm he reached out and wrapped it around Emilia. Emilia didn't turn to face him but neither did she pull away.

Subaru stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts bleak. Sleep would not come for him easily tonight.

Emilia awoke the next morning but she pretended to still be asleep. She was turned over on her side still facing the wall. She heard Felt up and moving around.

"Felt, if you're going to go out for a bit, mind putting Beako on your bed?" Subaru whispered.

"Sure, no problem, boss," Felt replied.

Emilia felt Beatrice lifted off the bed.

"Oh and Felt? I forgot to say this yesterday: I really appreciate everything you've done here," Subaru said quietly.

"Well, I haven't really done that much, Subaru," Felt chuckled.

"You've been helping Emilia with the trials everyday and you're been soothing the villagers' temper every night trying to keep them calm. That's a hell of a lot of work. I thought you being out here would help Mili but I never imagined that Puck would vanish. Can you imagine Emilia having to go through all this without anyone here to help support her?" Subaru asked.

No one thinks that I can do anything on my own, not even Subaru, Emilia mourned.

"Seriously, Felt. I'm extremely grateful for everything that you've done here," He continued.

Felt snorted and Emilia imagined her blushing, "Give it a rest, boss. You're starting to sound just like Red."

"You say that as if it were a bad thing," Subaru replied.

Emilia tried to hide a snicker as Felt barked a laugh and went downstairs.

Emilia felt Subaru wrapping his arms around her and pressing against her from behind, "Good morning, Emilia," He whispered.

Emilia opened her eyes, "I guess I didn't fool you, huh?" She sighed.

"Hey, can't hustle a hustler, as my Dad would say," Subaru agreed, "How are you feeling?"

Emilia was silent for a few moment then bowed her head, "Subaru. I'm… I'm very sorry about everything that I said last night. It was inexcusable. You've never been anything but kind to me and I blamed you for my own problems. You didn't deserve that."

"It's alright. I'm just sorry that you're hurting so much," He replied.

Emilia sighed.

"Do you think you could tell me about the trial?"

Emilia closed her eyes, "Subaru, do you remember when I told you about the Elior forest? How the curse was something… that I did?"

"I remember."

"That's what I see in the vision. Every single day I get to relive that disaster. I break my promise to my mother to stay hidden at home so I can go wander around the forest. I bump into dangerous people and when I run away in a panic I lead them straight to my mother, putting her in mortal danger. Then everyone is running away and our enemies start to catch up with us. We… might have made it. We might have gotten away safe… or at least some of us might have. But I panicked and I lost control of my magic and I froze the entire forest solid. All of the elves turned into living statues… except for the ones that were too close to me when the curse was unleashed. They all shattered like glass from the cold," She said bitterly.

Subaru didn't answer right away, he just stroked her arm, "Emilia… how old were you when all this happened?

"Mmm, six. Maybe seven?"

"Emilia, that's only a child. How can you blame yourself for all this?" He whispered.

"Because I'm guilty. Because I did it. How can I not blame myself for it?" She replied.

"How can you say that a child is guilty for panicking when she's being attacked? For losing control? That's what children do when they get scared."

"Subaru," She grumbled, "This isn't like I broke a wine glass running around the house! I froze hundreds of people in solid ice! Including my own family!"

"And we're going to fix that," Subaru soothed, "We'll get the dragon blood and cure all of them. You feel responsible for fixing your mistake, Emilia. That's who you are and I'd expect no less from you. But responsibility isn't the same as fault. You can make amends for something without considering it a crime. You had no intention to hurt anyone. You just lost control."

Emilia didn't respond right away, "Sometimes when your mistakes cause enough damage, your intentions stop mattering, Subaru." She rubbed her face, "And the damage I did even extends beyond the forest. Roswaal told me about the communities around the forest. They got caught up in my curse as well."

"What do you mean?"

"The area around Elior was once lush farmland for most of the year. When I blighted the forest the curse spread out beyond the borders and cursed the land with an endless winter. The communities all needed to be abandoned and they become refugees. That was thousands of people, Subaru," She whispered, "Thousands of people who never did a thing to hurt me that I changed into homeless vagabonds."

Emilia felt Subaru's body tense, "Why on earth would Roswaal tell you that?" He almost growled.

"I know that what he said was poorly thought out but he meant it kindly. He told me that his ancestors took care of all the refuges and managed to find them other homes so I didn't need to feel guilty about them. Some of them even moved into Arlem and started over again," Emilia took a deep breath, "So this is the second time I've made these families homeless."

"Emilia, you can't blame yourself for what Petelguese did at least," Subaru argued, "If that was anyone's fault, it was mine. I'm the one he came there looking for."

"But these people are counting on me to break the barrier and I can't pass the test," She sighed.

"Emilia, you need a break. You're exhausted. You've been working so hard lately and I don't just mean since you got to the Sanctuary," Subaru replied.

"Do you really think so?" Emilia asked listlessly.

"Emilia, the night before we split up we spent three hours on our feet talking to hundreds of people! That was exhausting all by itself!" He pointed out.

Emilia sighed and sat up. She wrapped her arms around her knees and looked at Subaru sadly, "Subaru. That's what you did."

"Huh?"

"I stood there for three hours and I spoke to about a dozen people about our plans and goals. More people talked to Roswaal about faction's goals than talked to me, even though I was standing right next to him," She sighed, laying her face against her knees.

Subaru looked guilty, "I'm sorry, Mili. I had no idea."

"That's why Roswaal told me we needed to split up for a while. I just… I feel like I need to do something to help us get the blood. I need to contribute something that moves us closer to getting the cure. Roswaal said that if I wanted to accomplish anything myself and not just follow your lead I needed to establish myself as my own candidate," Emilia murmured. "Subaru… I'm proud to be your wife. I just… wish that I could be something more too."

Subaru sighed, "Emilia. Why didn't you tell me? This has been going on for so long for you. You must have felt so overwhelmed carrying this all by yourself, why didn't you just talk to me about it?"

Emilia laughed bitterly, "And what would I say, Subaru? 'Please stop accomplishing so much because I can't accomplish anything? Please stop everything you're doing and let me catch up even though you're doing it all for me and this is the only way I might one day make up for my terrible mistake?'" Emilia put her face against her knees again, "I'm pathetic."

Subaru was silent for a long moment.

"You know, Emilia, I was thinking about one of my classmates the other day. I hadn't thought about him in years. He was a lot of fun always cracking jokes and clowning around. We were good friends for a while. It was only when I thought back on it that I realized he was going through some really tough times. I never knew it but he was. I spent all that time with him and I never picked up on his pain so I never gave him the chance to talk about it. I really wish that he had just come out and said: 'I'm in great pain, Subaru. It hurts and being in pain is lonely. You don't have to fix my pain but please just be aware of it; acknowledge me, acknowledge my pain."

Emilia moaned.

"Your pain isn't 'fair' to somebody?" Subaru asked, "So what? Does that mean it hurts less?"

Emilia didn't answer.

Subaru took a slow breath, "Emilia, what happens when you see all these memories in your vision during the trial?"

Emilia shook her head, "What happens? I go mad, Subaru. I can't help myself. I just start screaming. I scream and I scream and I can't stop myself. And then I throw every ounce of magic I have at the monster, trying to obliterate it, trying to destroy it utterly. The disgusting creature that caused all this misery, that inflicted all this pain."

"Monster?" Subaru asked quietly.

"…The witch of the forest."

"You mean yourself, don't you? You're so overwhelmed with pain and grief by this trial that you're desperate to destroy what you think caused it."

Emilia nodded.

Subaru shook his head, "This wasn't your fault, Emilia. I know that. I'm sure Puck knows that-"

Emilia flinched.

"Felt would agree with me and I'm sure Beatrice will say it's not your fault, assuming she ever gets out of bed."

Emilia didn't answer.

"Don't you think that it's time that you forgave yourself?"

Emilia looked at Subaru with a frown, "Subaru. If you had done what I'd did, if you had cursed an entire forest, betrayed your mother's trust, frozen hundreds of friends and family in solid ice, could you just let it go?" She asked.

Subaru chuckled ruefully, "I guess not. It's funny how we can forgive o-"

Subaru's eyes widened.

"Subaru?" Emilia asked with a frown.

"Emilia… are you going to take the trials today?" He asked.

Emilia sighed, "Yes. I have to. If I don't pass the trials, I'll never get out of here and I'll never save the forest. I want to do absolutely anything other than take the trials again but I have to take them."

"You see why I said yesterday that I was so proud of you for that?" Subaru reminded her.

Emilia shook her head with a faint smile.

"Emilia, would you do me a favor when you take the trial today?"

"Like what?" She asked.

"Remember how I said a few weeks ago that someday I might like to have a daughter?"

"Um, yes?"

"When you take the trial today, I want you to imagine something for me. I want you pretend that the girl you're looking at isn't Emilia. I want you to pretend as hard as you can that the girl is our daughter," Subaru said.

Emilia stared at him, "Subaru, that makes absolutely no sense. Why would I do that? How does that even make sense? Besides, would you really want your daughter to be a complete monster?" She grumbled.

Subaru gently lifted her chin and made her look into his eyes, "Please, Emilia? For me? Promise me, Emilia. Promise me that you'll try."

Emilia's eyes widened in confusion. She wasn't sure that she had ever seen Subaru more earnest.

Emilia hesitated, "What's our daughter's name?" She hedged, "And don't you dare say 'Emilia!'"

Subaru blinked, "Um… our daughter is named… Elaine," He said.

Emilia closed her eyes for a moment. "Alright, Subaru," She sighed. "I'll try to pretend that I am my own daughter, as little sense as that makes. I promise."

"Thank you!" Subaru breathed, wrapping her in a tight hug.

Emilia actually smiled for a moment, burying her face in her husband's shoulder.

Felt came back in the room, carrying a plate of food, "Anyone want biscuits?" She asked through a mouthful of food.

"Did Ram make them or Rem?" Subaru asked suspiciously.

"Rem."

"Awesome! Give 'em here!" Subaru said, grabbing one off the plate.

Subaru wolfed down two biscuits and Emilia nibbled on one.

"So, Emilia, are you about ready to head off to the Tomb?" Felt asked without enthusiasm.

Emilia nodded her head with a sigh.

"Come on, guys! Have some optimism! I have a good feeling about today!" Subaru cheered.

"Really, boss?" Felt's eyebrows rose and she regarded Emilia with new interest.

Emilia fought not to roll her eyes, Oh please, Felt. You've watched me collapse every day for two weeks but as soon as Subaru says that he feels good about my chances, you assume that the problem is solved? I know that you're amazingly clever, Felt but you do have your blind spots!

"So what are you going to be doing, boss?" Felt asked.

"First, I'm going to go talk to Ryuzu about getting the villagers and the Sanctuary residents together so I can talk to all of them at once," Subaru replied.

"Do you want to borrow a muzzle for Garf?" She muttered.

"Then I'm going to make sure they all know that I can pass the barrier and that our food supply isn't an issue at the moment. When we start to run short, I'll just run out to the nearest town and buy all the food I can find. We can hire people to ship it here. There's no danger to them unless they try to cross the barrier."

"Good idea! That should make everyone calm down!" Felt approved.

"Yes, it will be a rich full day," Subaru quipped.

Subaru coaxed a not-entirely-willing Emilia off of the bed and she stood up.

Something fell out of Emilia's pocket and hit the floor.

Subaru stooped down quickly and picked it up: A small purple purse.

A despondent Emilia reached out to take the purse back from Subaru then hesitated when she noticed that Subaru was staring at it in horror.

"Subaru? What's wrong?" Emilia asked.

"Emilia," Subaru whispered. "Do you remember where you got this?"

Emilia blinked, "Ram and Roswaal gave it to me to keep my insignia in."

Subaru just stared at the purse, "Felt," He whispered. "You know, I never really got around to asking you about Elsa."

"Elsa, boss?" Felt sounded confused. She could see from the look on Subaru's face that something was very wrong here.

"Tell me about your meeting with her. Word for word if you can," Subaru replied.

Felt thought about it, "Elsa, tracked me down the day before I met you guys. She told me that a half elf girl would be carrying a valuable piece of jewelry in a purple purse and that she would give me twenty pieces of gold to steal it for her. That's all she said really."

"Emilia," Subaru whispered as if talking to the purse. "Describe what happened when Roswaal gave this to you."

Emilia frowned and thought back, "Well, that morning I was going to go explore the market district. Ram and Roswaal came into my room and gave me the purse to keep the insignia safe. That's all."

"That's what I was afraid of," Subaru sighed, "I need to have a good long talk with Roswaal." He paused, "Emilia, Felt, please wait up here. If this gets ugly I don't want either of you getting caught up in it."

"I don't get this, boss," Felt admitted.

Subaru paused in the bedroom doorway. "Think about it, Felt," He said as he exited the room.

Emilia looked at Felt in confusion. Felt frowned and then her eyes widened.

"Oh how wooonderful to see you, young Subaru," Roswaal said from his bed. Rem and Ram were nowhere to be seen.

"Roswaal, I thought we should probably talk about a few things," Subaru said in a neutral tone.

"Oh?"

"You know, Elsa was the person who brought me into all of your lives. I'm definitely ungrateful to her for that service but still; she was the trigger for all of this. Of course, Elsa wasn't going after Emilia for personal reasons. She was just a hired blade. I tried to figure out who could have hired her but then I decided that it was impossible."

Roswaal sat there looking curious.

"I mean, hundreds of people knew that Emilia had the insignia and dozens if not hundreds probably knew that she was out in the market that day. That's too big a list to narrow down. I was stumped!" Subaru admitted bouncing the purse in his palm, "But then I realized, I wasn't trying to figure out who knew that Emilia had the insignia or was in the market that day, I was trying to figure out who knew that Emilia had a purple purse. That's still a couple of people. But then it turned out that strangely enough, Elsa knew that the insignia would be inside a purple purse before you ever gave it to Emilia."

Subaru caught the purse in a clenched fist.

"Isn't that funny?" Subaru asked Roswaal in a cold tone.

"A clever deduction" Roswaal admitted, "You must have questions."

"A few," Subaru admitted, "To start with what were in those letters that you wrote to Reinhard?"

"Hm?" Roswaal asked.

"Yeah. After we killed the whale, Reinhard coincidentally got a message saying that the Black Snake was attacking the north near Elior forest. I let Reinhard go off to protect the people and ensure that the snake didn't damage the forest where Emilia's family are. I told him to meet us at the manor later. Five pieces of gold says that Reinhard was given another letter there. From me. And that letter told him to go a very long way away. Am I right, Roz?"

Roswaal smiled and started to applaud. "Splendid! Marvelous, young Subaru! You are truly becoming everything that I ever hoped that you would be. I was indeed the source of the false report of the Black snake appearing and Reinhard did in fact receive a letter from Fredericka at the manor which instructed him to return to Astrea land, by a route that would avoid him seeing the ruins of Arlem which might have made him suspicious, and begin preparations to introduce crop rotations in his realm."

"Wow. I didn't think that even Reinhard would fall for that. I need to keep a closer eye on the poor guy," Subaru replied, "Well, Roz, I guess that just leaves me with one major question left."

"Oh?"

"You planned this, didn't you? All of this," Subaru growled. "You deliberately brought Emilia here so she'd be trapped. She told me about how you've been encouraging her to strike off on her own, how you kept implying that she doesn't really deserve any credit for saving her people if I'm doing most of the work. You even told her about the communities she destroyed around the forest to make her feel even guiltier. You even deliberately went into the Tomb when you knew you were unqualified and told her you'd tried to do it for her so she'd feel responsible. All of it done with the intention of breaking down Emilia and destroying her confidence. You've been working on this since you met her haven't you?"

"All correct save for the last point, young Subaru. In truth I have only been working on sabotaging the lovely Emilia since I met you." Roswaal replied.

Subaru was silent for a moment, "You knew Petelguese was coming, didn't you? There was no meeting with the village chiefs. You needed Emilia to go to Arlem so that Petelguese could chase everyone away. I always thought it was weird that he would bother to chase after the Arlem villagers. He seemed to be single-minded to say the least. Why would he leave Arlem if he knew that the person he was hunting would come there? Was he chasing after them at all?"

"Alas, no," Roswaal said with evident amusement, "But no one bothered to question it."

"This has been your plan all along. You deliberately trapped Emilia in this place with three hundred angry, frightened people who had been driven to the point of desperation. You knew that she'd be separated from Puck while she was here and she'd be emotionally vulnerable. Then you pointed at Emilia and said 'she will save you,' to those angry frightened people, while the food ran short. All of this done to pile the pressure onto Emilia and to completely break her emotionally."

"Not a difficult task, I assure you," Roswaal admitted, completely without shame, "Your lovely bride sees the best in everyone. Except for herself, of course. Thus she never even suspected that I was manipulating her. The girl Felt was obnoxious however. I did not expect her to be here. If I had found out about her presence in advance then I would have tried to arrange an accident but after arriving in the Sanctuary that was far too risky. Ensuring that Felt did not suspect me of sabotaging Emilia took an annoying amount of effort. Worse, Felt's presence meant that Emilia's isolation was not absolute which badly limited my efforts. I had expected to be the only person here that Emilia could confide in. I had to revise my plans significantly."

Subaru shook his head, "You son of a bitch, you did all of this just to put Emilia in a trap you thought she could never escape from," He whispered.

"Truly insightful, young Subaru," Roswaal congratulated him.

"Thanks, Roz, but I still feel like I'm kind of lagging behind here. You were Emilia's sponsor. If you wanted her out of the selection so bad why didn't you just stop supporting her?" Subaru asked. "What was the point of hiring an assassin? Why would you try to break her emotionally and then trap her in the Sanctuary?"

"I have no care if Emilia is in or out of the selection. The matter does not concern me," Roswaal said politely. "I hired Elsa for one reason; to connect you to Emilia."

"Wait, what?" Subaru asked.

"I have been waiting for you for more years than you can even imagine, Subaru Natsuki. The Witch's Pride. The strongest card in any deck. The man who will see my dreams realized. I originally intended to inform you of this fact on the day that we met and clarify that you would be working for me from now on," Roswaal explained.

"What in the world makes you think that I would ever work for you?" Subaru hissed, "Especially after Elsa almost killed Emilia?"

"I'm afraid that you would have had no choice. As you said, I could have ended Emilia's royal ambitions at any time. If you at all desired to see her dreams of restoring the Elior forest fulfilled, you would have obeyed me," Roswaal replied.

"I can get Emilia the blood myself," Subaru pointed out.

"Very true, that was the first kink in my plan. You were not supposed to be a royal candidate. I was quite shocked when Reinhard informed me," Roswaal continued.

"What do you mean I wasn't supposed to be one?" Subaru asked.

"Forgive me, Subaru Natsuki, but don't you think you would make a rather odd 'dragon priestess?'" Roswaal asked archly.

"Reinhard told me-"

"That the actual word in the sacred texts is gender neutral. Yes. I told him that lie," Roswaal smiled. "It was a flimsy statement to be sure and one that would never stand up to the slightest bit of scrutiny but I had to say something! Otherwise Reinhard, slow as he is, and certainly his father would have insisted on a full investigation of the matter. And that investigation would have almost certainly resulted in your imprisonment and probable execution on suspicion of witchcraft. I could not permit this to occur before I had the opportunity to make use of you. I had not expected your Authority to find you so quickly."

"My Authority?" Subaru said a chill running down his spin.

I never told anyone about-

"The Authority of Pride. It has been looking for you, young Subaru, for centuries. The Authority of Pride is most finicky about its host. It demands truly pathetic individuals. Men who are desperate to cling to the mantle of pride because they find it unbearable how utterly insignificant they are when they cast it aside. The Authority grows stronger and stronger as its host gives into their desperation to be special; to be more than they actually are.

"I knew that the Authority would tempt you but I never dreamed how far it would actually go. It seems as if the Authority desperately wanted to get a grip on you as fast as possible. It corrupted the insignia and forced it to react to your presence, hiding the actual 5th candidate, and offering you the throne of the Dragon Kingdom of Lagunica for your own. Doubtless once you actually sat there it would have tried to offer you the throne of all the world and then perhaps of realms beyond. Pride is never satiated," Roswaal explained.

"I don't believe you," Subaru whispered, his legs unsteady. "I never tried to do anything like that."

"Of course not," Roswaal said with evidence amusement. "You are far too inexperienced and unskilled to use the Authority deliberately at this point. It simply responds to your unconscious wishes. For example, if its possessor were to be a genuine simpleton, someone completely unable to master even the simplest of skills or studies then the Authority might grant him preternatural brilliance; the ability to stun all around you with your amazing intelligence and deductive reasoning. Or if he were a frightened child too pathetic to even dare to leave his room and face the outside world, then perhaps it would grant him true invulnerability. After all, there's no need for courage if one is indestructible; but oh the accolades are sweet and you lapped up the attention of everyone who thought you were so brave and overcame all your fears."

Subaru's mouth moved but no words came out.

"But don't worry, young Subaru," Roswaal continued, "Your affinity with the Authority will grow steadily over time and you will eventually develop the power and strength of will to demand that it serve you. In the fullness of time you might even exceed Regulus! Pride is the first and greatest of sins after all. In the meantime, however, your pride will serve to protect you from reality: The reality that you are nothing. The reality that everything special about you came from a bit of black magic you were simply lucky enough to inherit."

"Black magic?" Subaru whispered.

"Yes, Subaru. An Authority is a form of witchcraft; the same power as the Sin Archbishops wield. You are Subaru Natsuki, the Sin Archbishop of Pride. Subaru the Witch."

Subaru almost fell down but he managed to catch himself.

"You have no idea the amount of frustration this fact has caused me," Roswaal mused. "For centuries I have labored diligently at my studies and become the paramount mage in all the world; second only to my beloved teacher. And yet I was never able to harness the unlimited power of the Authorities. I, who labored for centuries to wield such magic, was ruled inadequate compared to a boy of no merit whatsoever," Roswaal paused thoughtfully, "Although I suppose I can't begrudge you having power simply handed to you. The Gods know that was the only way you could have ever hoped to accomplish anything."

"Even if… even if all of this is true, that still doesn't mean that I'll help you do anything! You betrayed Emilia! Why would I ever want to do anything for you?!" Subaru demanded.

"Oh? I thought that you loved Emilia?" Roswaal smirked.

"What are you talking about? You don't have any power over Emilia! If you stop supporting her I will still win the throne and I will still get her the blood! I will help Emilia free her people! I promised!" Subaru yelled.

"Yes, that was my problem," Roswaal admitted. "If I had confronted you when we had first met, this is exactly what would have happened. So I needed to find a new way to bind you to my service. Thus I lured Emilia into the Sanctuary. You are aware that she can never leave."

"Emilia is going to take the trials-"

"She will fail," Roswaal said flatly, "She will never be freed of this place. She lacks the strength and fortitude to ever pass these trials. If you wish for Emilia's freedom, you will have to secure it yourself. She is far too weak."

Subaru was silent a moment, "Even if that were true, you've only outsmarted yourself, Roswaal," He said with a grim laugh. "I don't have permission to take the trials. My Authority or whatever doesn't let me do it!"

"My teacher could grant you permission to take the trials and free your beloved from this trap," Roswaal replied. "I will grant you the ability to do so once we have an understanding."

"An understanding?" Subaru growled.

"Yes. We will form a magical contract. You will dedicate yourself to following my orders and fulfilling my dream. In exchange I will permit you to free the woman you love. A generous offer, don't you think?"

Subaru froze, trying to figure out what to do.

The door opened behind Subaru and Emilia stalked into the room, her eyes hard as agates. Felt trailed behind her, looking scared.

"Hey, I told you guys to wait upstairs," Subaru hissed.

"So what?" Emilia snapped at him.

Subaru's eyes widened as Emilia marched right up to the convalescent sorcerer.

"I am not as weak as you seem to think, Roswaal," Emilia said firmly.

"Oh? The sheer number of times your little maidservant had to drag you back from the trials screaming and with tears running down your face would seem to argue otherwise," Roswaal replied.

Felt winced at being called a 'maidservant.'

"I will complete the trials," Emilia said quietly, "I will leave this room and go there right now. I will do that today, I will do that tomorrow, I will do that for as long as it takes me but I will never give up. Someone who I love more than anything taught me that refusing to give up no matter what happens is the real meaning of strength and I believe him. You have been lying to me since the moment we met, Roswaal and your favorite lie was always what a shame it was that I was so weak and helpless. That others needed to carry me on my journey and that I could never do anything to help fulfill my own quest. I plan to disprove all of those lies right now. I will break the barrier. I'll keep trying even if I don't know how long it will take."

"I'm afraid that I can answer that question for you, Lady Emilia," Roswaal smirked, "One day."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"You have one day. I may have neglected to mention this: The Sin Archbishops are on their way," Roswaal shrugged.

"The Archbishops?" Subaru gasped.

"Yes. It appears that the instructions in their Gospels have changed. They have been ordered to come here to capture Emilia and then slaughter everyone in the sanctuary. I doubt that they are intelligent enough to even think of disarming the barrier before they leave so they will be taking a breathing but lifeless doll of Emilia beyond the border. Honestly, I expect you would prefer that. The thoughts of what they might do to a lovely prisoner such as yourself do not bear thinking about," Roswaal said.

Subaru was panting for breath, his eyes wide with horror.

"Emilia-" He began.

Emilia wasn't looking at him. She was staring at Roswaal with ice cold fury in her eyes, "I am not weak, Roswaal and you are a fool! You have misplayed this badly."

Roswaal cocked his head curiously.

"I listened to your whole conversation with Subaru. I was sitting right outside the door in tears realizing how stupid I had been to let you trick me. How I had let you undermine me. How I let you ruin all of those innocent villagers' lives just so that you could hurt me! I thought about all of our conversations together over the past month. You had convinced me that everyone thought I was a failure. You convinced me that Subaru thought that I was a failure. That he knew I could never accomplish anything on my own and that he was just staying with me because he was too kind to abandon me. And what reallymakes me angry is that I believed you!" Emilia shouted.

Emilia scowled, "I was tired. I wanted to give up. If you'd only held back for a few minutes before telling Subaru about the contract, I would have gone back upstairs to cry and feel sorry for myself for being so weak and stupid. I'm tired of all this struggling. I just want to stop," She explained.

"The people of Arlem and the Sanctuary do not concern you then?" Roswaal asked archly.

"They concern me. I want to help them, just not to the point of ripping myself to shreds to do it. I'm not a hero, Roswaal," Emilia said bluntly, "But Subaru is and I know for a fact that he will sell you his soul to protect me and all of those innocent people and I will never allow that to happen! No one will ever own my Subaru. I will pass the trials."

Emilia looked Roswaal straight in the eye. Subaru realized that he saw no doubt in Emilia whatsoever.

Roswaal considered this and then shrugged, "There is time, I suppose. You can fail one last time before Subaru and I complete our deal. Perhaps it will even let Subaru feel a bit better about himself. He did actually let you try to accomplish something before stepping in to save your worthless life yet again," Roswaal's words were completely casual.

Emilia flinched.

Subaru's face twisted and he nearly threw himself at Roswaal but Emilia put her hand against his chest. "I will succeed," She whispered to him.

"I truly respect your optimism, Lady Emilia. On anyone else, I might even have called it foolishness," Roswaal said, "You have failed these trials day after day after day for nearly two weeks. You have never even reached the second trial at all. And yet you now seem to believe that you can complete all three in one pass? Truly remarkable. Tell me, what does give you such confidence? Clearly your previously much vaunted statement of 'I will succeed because the villagers need me to' did not suffice."

Emilia looked Roswaal dead in the eye, "Because this time, Subaru needs me to."

Roswaal stared at Emilia for a long moment. His face was expressionless but amusement fairly dripped from him. "Very well, please hurry up and fail so that Subaru and I can conclude our business. Time is pressing and you are cutting this close," He said.

Emilia turned to go and Subaru made to follow.

"No, Subaru," Emilia said, putting her hand against his chest. "You need to stay here and get the people in the Sanctuary ready to escape."

"Emilia…" He whispered.

"I will do this," She promised. She leaned in and kissed him.

Subaru held her gaze for a moment then nodded, "I know that you will. I have faith in you."

Emilia flashed him a grin and then sprang out the door at a jog.

Felt gave Subaru a brief salute and then chased after Emilia.

"Be of good cheer, young Subaru," Roswaal said philosophically, "At the very least, consider that by you rescuing Emilia from a terrifying fate here, you will complete her dependency on you. After all these failures, she'll finally realize that she can accomplish nothing at all without your assistance. With that, and the poor spirit cat having gone missing, I doubt that she would ever even consider leaving you, which I know is your own worst fear."

"Emilia loves me," He spat at the bedridden sorcerer as Rem and Ram entered the room from behind Subaru.

"Oh?" Roswaal grinned, covering his mouth to hide his chuckling. "Is that what you think? I fear I may need to revise my opinion of your intelligence and deductive reasoning. Or is this less a case of poor reasoning than an application of willful blindness?"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Roz?" Subaru demanded.

"No, no. I'm certain that you are correct. Incidentally, I never had the opportunity to congratulate you on your success with Beatrice, did I? That poor lonely girl who spent four hundred years all alone in her library. Did you know that quite literally hundreds of people have attempted to form a contract with her? Hundreds of men and women from all different races and all walks of life. Many of them were supremely accomplished and often invested decades in their quest; either to acquire Beatrice's extraordinary power or simply to soothe and comfort a lonely little girl out of sheer altruism. She rejected them, one and all. Yet she chose you. She formed a binding contract with you after knowing you for a mere matter of days.

"Reinhard van Astrea is the paramount warrior in all the world. There is no one else who even comes close. Nobles and kings from far and wide have competed for his service yet he offered it to you on virtually the very day you met.

"Felt is a street child with a pathological hatred of the nobility; she would as soon gut a nobleman as look at one for what they're done to her and her friends. She is a born cynic who expects nothing from the upper class but fair words and then betrayal. Yet when you told her that you wanted to empty the slums, she not only believed you she believed inyou. She follows you as a loyal retainer and cheers you to all who will listen as a man truly worthy of the throne.

"Or even darling Rem whom you effortlessly persuaded to reject her own senses, that so accurately warned her of the presence black magic, and embrace you as a friend.

"My personal favorite was at the announcement of the royal selection. You are a foreigner of no name or known linage with barely any understanding of the history and culture of Lagunica. Still you dared to approach the proud gentry of this land and asked that they bow before you as King. And yet, before the night ended, you had the entire nobility eating out of your hand. Several powerful nobles approached me afterward, feeling a need to comment on your remarkable presence, your almost… supernatural charisma. I was greatly tempted to laugh but I sensibly maintained self-control.

"And let us not forget the Lady Emilia, truly one of the most beautiful women in all the land, who fell head over heels in love with you practically at first sight!"

Subaru felt dizzy, "What are you trying to say, Roz?"

"Oh, nothing," Roswaal assured him, "I'm certain that all of these people were single handedly won over by your charisma, your passion, and your sincerity. Your companions clearly feel a remarkable loyalty to you, young Subaru. Where you lead, they follow; sometimes in the face of logic or even their own good sense! You do deserve much adulation for accomplishing so much so quickly.

"It seemed almost too easy, did it not? After all, the only other possibility is that each and every one of your 'friends' has been influenced by your Authority. That their respect, fondness, and loyalty to you is simply a function of a magical charisma granted by black magic run amuck. Remember, the Authority responds to your unconscious wishes and seeks to give you exactly what you most desire. And what did a lonely friendless loser want more than anything else in the world? Why loyal friends, a loving family, and a beautiful woman who thinks that he is a hero."

Subaru glared at Roswaal and for the first time in his life actually contemplated murdering a man in cold blood.

Subaru bit back his fury to focus on the matter at hand, "Roswaal, how long do we have until the cult gets here? Twenty four hours?" He asked.

"Oh, who knows?" Roswaal answered.

Subaru's eyes widened, "You said that we had a day!"

"Oh, a day until the Sanctuary is completely destroyed but the Witch Cult is not very well organized," Roswaal explained, "They'll be dribbling in here one at a time. The Sanctuary itself isn't going to be completely destroyed until just after sundown."

"Sundown?" Subaru whispered.

"Yes, that will be the coup de gras," Roswaal said.

Roswaal glanced past Subaru to look at the twins, "Oh, good news, Rem. It appears you were not in error after all. Subaru is in fact a Witch Cultist."

Subaru heard Rem's gasp but he didn't turn around, "That is a damn lie, Roswaal. I never joined any cult and I am absolutely not working with any of these freaks."

"Oh, can a Sin Archbishop of the Witch Cult be anything other than a member of the cult? You possess the power of the Archbishop because it was your destiny to do so. Your voluntary participation in any of their endeavors is completely irrelevant," Roswaal replied.

Subaru scowled and fantasized about crushing Roswaal's skull. Unfortunately, if Emilia failed to pass the trials then he needed Roswaal alive. "My destiny is a product of what I choose to do. And right now, I choose to go out and save as many people as I possibly can. I'm guessing that none of you feel like helping?" Subaru snarled. He didn't even glance at Roswaal, he turned to look at Ram who appeared indifferent. Rem's face was frozen in a mask of betrayal and horror.

Subaru scowled and swept from the room.

Subaru started back up the stairs to his room but he only made it about halfway before he buckled and fell to his knees, pressing his face against the wooden steps.

Is Roswaal right? Is my magic forcing people to respect me? To… care about me?

Why did Beatrice choose me? What could I possibly offer her that a million other people couldn't? Why did she want to be my sister instead of Emilia's? Or Rem's? Or even Felt's?

Reinhard was so impressed with my courage at facing down Elsa. But he's a trained warrior. He's probably seen thousands of examples of inspiring courage on and off the battlefield. What made me so impressive?

I always assumed Felt lied to the council for me because she thought she owed me one. Why? Because I gave her a couple of gold pieces?

Then I guessed that she was staying with me because I payed her to work for me. But the speeches she gives to the nobles and the peasantry about me are passionate and filled with idealism. They're not the speeches of someone who's just collecting a paycheck. Felt believes in me but why? What did I ever do to prove to her that I was anything but a well-intentioned bumbler? Or just another cynical liar trying to take advantage of her?

I remember when Rem and I were walking home in the rain. Rem admitted that she was wrong about me and she even burst into tears. I was so busy comforting her that I never stopped to think about how strange that was. What had I ever done that had convinced her? Saving the people at Arlem? Rem doesn't know about Indomitable's time restrictions, she probably watched me deal with the soldiers and just assumed I was invincible. So why would she even be impressed? An invincible person isn't risking his life. You don't deserve any respect or accolades if you pick a fight that there's no way you could possibly lose. She couldn't have been impressed by my 'courage.'

Fuck… that's it isn't it? I mean maybe Beatrice, Felt, and Red really did choose me. I mean it's possible even if it's extremely unlikely but Rem? Her changing her mind about me makes absolutely no sense! I did nothing to convince her of my sincerity but one day she just decided that I was alright.

It makes no sense. It never made any sense that Rem would change her mind about you that easily. But if you unconsciously used magic to charm her… then it makes perfect sense.

And what about Emilia? Why would she ever choose someone like you? She's been miserable with you. She wouldn't even tell you how bad you make her feel but you do nothing but make her doubt herself and question her own self-worth.

God! I wish that I had died before I ever came here!

I thought I had a family! I thought that people loved me! But it was all just the magic. A filthy bit of black magic…

Can I get rid of it? Can I get rid of the Authority? I'd be a lonely friendless loser again but… at least I'd really know that the people around me weren't being influenced by magic against their will. I'd know that I wasn't poisoning them, corrupting them…

Actually yes, there is a way to get rid of the Authority, isn't there?

Wish for it. Roswaal said the Authority responds to my wishes. Wish to be the same stupid cowardly loser that you were before. Truly wish for that, wish for it sincerely and the Authority will respond. It would make you nothing again. Reason and Judgment and Indomitable would disappear.

Earnestly wish for Reinhard, Beatrice, Rem, and Felt to wake up and realize how absolutely pathetic you are and they will do so. Wish for them to stop wasting their time with a loser like you and they will wander off in search of more worthy pursuits…

Wish for Emilia to open her eyes and realize that Subaru Natsuki is the real failure. That no matter how hard he tries he could never be good enough for her. Wish for that with all of your heart and Emilia will finally abandon you…

Tears were streaming down Subaru's face as he beat his head against the stairs.

Subaru wept in sheer agony, sobbing into the steps. The rough wood ground against his skin. He wished it were rougher so that it would hurt more.

I can't do it… I just can't! …I'm too weak to ever wish to be nothing again. To wish to be all alone again… Even if everyone I care about is depending on me to free them from the witchcraft I can't do it… I'm just too weak…

He cried for several minutes until he finally managed to calm himself.

Subaru took in a deep ragged breath, "I am a complete piece of shit," He whispered to himself.

Subaru finally pulled himself together enough to make it up to the bedroom.

OK, focus. I sure hope Beatrice has managed to recover by now. She's already slept for about fifteen hours and, frankly, we are all out of time.

"Beatrice," Subaru gently shook her.

Beatrice moaned, "What is it, in fact?"

"Beako, we have a lot of problems and no time to solve them," Subaru answered, lifting the barely conscious spirit out of bed and placing her on his shoulder.

"And what does that mean, I suppose?" Beatrice said, rubbing her eyes.

"The Sin Archbishops are coming here," Subaru said.

Beatrice stiffed.

Well, that certainly woke her up in a hurry. Go me!

"But… Regulus?" She whispered.

"Him too I expect," Subaru said. "Emilia is going to try to finish the trials. When she does we'll be able to get everyone out of here and get clear before Regulus arrives. We have to get everyone ready to escape." He said, moving quickly toward the door.

"But… what if he arrives before she finishes the trials, I suppose?" Beatrice asked in a small voice.

Subaru looked up at Beatrice and his frustration melted away. Beatrice might be a four hundred year old spirit but she was also just a little girl who was very afraid right now. She knew how powerful Regulus was and she knew that Emilia passing all three trials in one pass was a long shot.

Subaru slipped Beatrice off his shoulder. He knelt down in front of her and caught her in a tight hug. "We can't beat Regulus," He admitted. "But no matter what happens we'll all go down together."

Beatrice was quiet for a long moment, "Yesterday, Subaru fought Regulus to protect Betty. Today, Betty will hold off Regulus so that Subaru can escape."

Subaru shook his head, "That is not going to happen, Beako."

Beatrice took a deep breath. "Subaru can pass the barrier. If Regulus comes, Betty wants Subaru to go. Subaru will just distract Betty during the fight, I suppose," Beatrice sniffed and put her nose in the air.

Subaru held Beatrice even tighter, "Betty, I promised you that you would never be alone again and I mean to keep that promise. You are my family and we belong together. Even if that means that I need to die here with Emilia on one side and Betty on the other, I will not abandon either of you ever again."

Beatrice's eyes filled with tears, "That… that is stupid, I suppose. Subaru can cross the barrier. Subaru needs to run away. Subaru shouldn't die just because Betty dies… Betty has lived long enough…"

"You might be right but the truth is, I don't care," Subaru said, rocking Beatrice back and forth in his arms, "I'm a selfish man, Betty. I've worked too hard to find myself a family. I don't want to run. We're all leaving here together as a family or together we'll all die but I will never ever abandon Betty. I promised Betty that she'd never be alone ever again and that promise means the world to me."

Beatrice buried her face into Subaru's chest and cried. Subaru held her close and let her cry herself out but he was mentally counting the moments. There was too much to do and no time to do it.

I need to ask. I'm afraid to ask but… I just have to know… Was it really just the Authority?

"Beatrice… why did you pick me?" Subaru whispered.

Beatrice looked up at him in confusion, her eyes full of tears.

"Beatrice, you are one of the most precious people in existence. Everyone in this world would have moved mountains just for the chance to love you. What made you pick me?"

Beatrice stared at him as if he was speaking a foreign language.

"Subaru," A voice said from the door.

Subaru and Beatrice looked up and saw Rem standing there. She had her morning star in her hand.

Rem's face was expressionless, "Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"Don't play games with me!" Rem snapped, "Are you a Witch Cultist?!"

Beatrice looked up at Subaru in shock.

"No. That is not true," Subaru said firmly. Then he sighed, "But Roswaal did tell me that my magic power is a form of witchcraft," He admitted.

"Then how are you not a Witch Cultist?" Rem demanded.

"Because I'm not," Subaru snapped, rising to his feet and putting himself between Rem and Beatrice, "Because the Witch Cult and I are enemies. I have no idea what the cult believes in or what its members want but I know they run around killing people and that is something that I am altogether against! I hate to be blunt here, Rem but if Roswaal is right, then the Witch Cult is on its way here right now and I have several hundred people that I need to save and every moment I stand here talking to you is less time to do that. So where do we stand, Rem? I want to save the people stuck inside the Sanctuary from the Witch Cult. Are you with me or against me?"

Rem was silent for a moment. "You told me once that it's important to be sure that the person you're killing actually deserves it," She whispered, raising her morning star.

"I did say that," Subaru admitted.

Rem glowered at him. "Then just know that I'll be watching you. If you try to betray us, I promise that you won't live long enough to see the other cultists arrive," She said.

"Sounds fair, let's go!"

Emilia and Felt ran up the stairs to the Tomb and went inside.

Emilia approached a large stone orb in the Tomb and touched it.

"Good luck, Emilia! You can do it!" Felt told her as Emilia swayed in place and blacked out.

Felt caught her gently as she fell and lowered Emilia to the ground.

"You got this, Mili! We're all rooting for you," She whispered to the unconscious girl.

Emilia was lost in a void of pure white.

Face your Past, a voice proclaimed and the white landscape faded away until she stood in a tiny, round room. A small girl lay in the bed kicking at the wall.

There she is. The wicked little girl who begot all this suffering, who caused all this misery and pain…

Emilia scowled at the little girl. Her magic boiled up at her fingers begging to be unleashed. She wanted nothing more than to destroy the wretched creature before she could inflict anymore pain.

Emilia forcibly unclenched her hands and then forced herself to look out the window and clear her mind.

No, I can't lose control. I can't give into hate…

Oh, Subaru, I have to succeed this time. I must. I know that if I fail, you will take Roswaal's deal to save me, to save all of us. If you do that then I will lose you forever. I can't let that happen. Subaru, if you left me all alone again, I don't think that I could…

I must complete the trials. I promised Subaru that I would and I must keep my promises.

Emilia took a deep breath as she turned to glare at the girl.

That means that I must follow that wretched little witch to…

No, I promised Subaru. He asked me to pretend. Why am I even doing this? I don't understand why pretending this wretched sinful girl is someone else will do anything…

It doesn't matter. I trust Subaru. He wouldn't have made me promise if he didn't think it was important. He must have thought that it would help me pass this trial. Oh, Subaru, please be right…

Very well, you wicked monster. You are not Emilia, a deceitful cowardly little creature who betrayed her mother's trust and ruined everyone's life. You are Elaine. You are… my… daughter.

Emilia watched the girl roam around the tiny room, pacing in frustration.

My daughter… The one I might someday share with Subaru. He said that he wanted a daughter, he said that he wanted a child… just like me… why? Why would he ever say such a foolish thing?

The girl read her books and drew pictures on sheets of paper and grew more and more restless.

It's hard to stay inside one room all day. I remember that from all my studying with Subaru, trapped in the library from dawn until after dark. She is almost like poor Beatrice, trapped inside one room for all that time. Strange that I never noticed the parallel before…

It's not the same thing, of course. I mean… it's different…

A small ball of light zoomed through the wall and hung over the girl who let out a delighted cry. The girl smiled and used her magic to commune with the spirit.

Elaine seems so happy to have company. I suppose it does get lonely in here.

The spirit seemed to be asking the girl to chase it but the girl just shook her head gravely.

You should not follow the fairy. You promised your mother. You must always keep your promises. Promises are important.

The spirit weaved back and forth as the girl debated with herself. As the spirit persisted, the little girl began to smile.

Finally, Emilia watched the girl follow a lesser spirit out of her tiny house with a mischievous cry.

Emilia, you stupid creature! How dare you break your promise to your mother! Don't you care about anyone but yourself? Don't you know what you have done to everyone by doing this, you selfish little-

No. She is not Emilia.

She is Elaine… and she broke a promise to her mother. Elaine… you are… naughty.

Emilia followed the girl who was joyously chasing the dancing ball of light down the forest path.

This is home: The great forest. It's winter now but the cold isn't supernaturally bitter yet. The curse hasn't placed a permanent cloud cover over the land and it's not perpetually snowing. There are even living creatures in the forest instead of ice statues.

Strange. By now I would usually have lost all control and thrown a blizzard of ice magic at the vision, trying to destroy the little wretch; the wicked, selfish witch who caused so much heartache to so many.

Emilia walked behind the little girl as she danced and sang with the spirit. She seemed exuberant to be out of that tiny room.

All you had to do was keep your promise and none of this would have ever happened. This is why everyone hates you Emilia…

No. I promised Subaru. She is not Emilia. She is Elaine. Elaine, you are naughty. You must always keep your promises. Promises are important.

The lesser spirit led the girl through the forest until Emilia could heard soft voices in the distance. The girl had a devious smirk on her face as she began darting from tree to tree.

This is almost funny. She thinks that she's hiding but she's actually out in plain sight. Elaine is trying to be sneaky but she's very bad at it.

I guess Elaine takes after me… I'm terrible at being sneaky… When I try to be sneaky I usually wind up just making Subaru laugh…

The little girl crept through the brush and watched as two people spoke in the clearing.

Guese… and Mother Fortuna… oh, Mama. I'm so sorry…

The two people were talking but Emilia couldn't make out what they were saying.

Elaine… almost looks cute right now. She's being sneaky but the look on her face… It actually reminds me of Subaru when he's sneaking around being clever. Subaru is sneaky. He likes to trick and outsmart people but… there's no malice in his mischief. It's just a game.

Is this what our Elaine would be like? Sneaky like her father? Her mother was a wicked child broke promises and was very selfish but Elaine… might be sneaky as a game. Maybe she'd even want to be caught sneaking. Maybe she'd want to be caught and scolded just so her Mother would know how clever she was being.

Emilia turned to look closer at the adults talking in the grove.

Guese, you were always so kind to Mother Fortuna and me. I always knew that she cared for you. I remember one day I suggested that the two of you should get married. She blushed so much…

If the girl is Elaine, then… should I imagine Guese as Subaru? Subaru would actually make a good Guese. He's silly and goofy but always so very brave and kind. I can imagine that Guese is Subaru easily.

But Mama… Mama is so beautiful and strong and wise. How could I be anything like her? How can I imagine myself as Mama?

Mama Fortuna, I always wanted to be just like you…

Wait, Mama is afraid of something… She's talking to Guese about something and she's clearly upset and worried… I never noticed that before. I can't make out what they're saying…

Fortuna turned away clearly distraught and Guese tried to comfort her.

Guese is worried too but he's trying to be brave for Mama's sake…

I wish I knew what they were talking about. I guess I didn't understand what they were saying back then so I can't remember it now.

I've never seen Mama Fortuna look so distraught. I didn't think she could be afraid of anything. Did she try to hide her fears from me? I suppose that she wanted to look brave for my sake…

Emilia noticed the little girl was getting bored. She wandered away following another lesser spirit. Emilia followed.

Don't you want to know what's going on, Elaine? Don't you realize that Mama is scared? Or are you too young to understand?

Emilia followed the girl down the forest path.

Elaine is clearly delighted to be outside of that room and following the lesser spirits. She's so playful… but she doesn't understand. The forest can be dangerous, Elaine. Come back… You might… get hurt out here…

The little girl had now found a group of spirits to play with.

Elaine is very small… She seems so much younger than I was. I know that that doesn't make any sense. There is no Elaine.

This is just some kind of weird game that Subaru asked me to play. Elaine is me and therefore she is the same as I was; dangerous and wicked with all of my terrible magic.

So… then why does Elaine seem so terribly small and helpless to me…

"Well, what splendid luck," A girl's voice said.

Standing on the forest path were two people: A young man in a white suit with white hair and… a blur. There was a blur on the path about as large as a child and it was that blur who appeared to have spoken. It was clear from her expression that the younger Emilia could sense their magic and it was terrifying.

"We've been looking for you for a long time, little one. If you would be so kind as to come with us, we can avoid a great deal of trouble," The blur said calmly.

Run, Elaine! Run away now! These are evil people who will put you in danger, you must run back to Mama as fast as you can!

Elaine pulled back, her face contorted in fear. With a scream, she raced back toward the clearing where Guese and Fortuna waited.

That's odd. I told Elaine to run to Mama. I always cursed the fact that I ran back there. I led the evil people straight to my family and put them in danger because I was a selfish and cowardly girl but… this is different. It's not the same as it was when I did it. Elaine is so small and helpless and she's scared. She needs to run to her Mama. Guese-… Subaru and… Emilia will keep Elaine safe. They're her parents. That's their job.

Little Emilia burst through the bushes crying out, bolting to Guese and Fortuna who quickly scooped her up in her arms.

"Mama! I'm sorry!" The little girl wailed.

Mother Fortuna is trying to comfort… Elaine. She's not mad. She just wants her daughter to stop crying and feel safe. Mama Fortuna is still scared, I never noticed that before but she is scared and trying to hide it. She's being strong because her daughter needs her to be.

Mama…

The strangers casually sauntered out of the bush.

Guese is stepping in front of Mama and Elaine. He wants to protect them. I can't make out what he's saying. He's probably trying to talk the strangers into leaving.

Something black and huge slithered in the underbrush, knocking aside trees. It seemed impossible that any living creature could be so big.

Guese made a gesture and Fortuna turned to run, carrying Elaine away.

Guese waved his hand and a brilliant flash erupted in the clearing. The strangers staggered unable to see but Emilia saw Guese spin around with his eyes closed and race away.

Clever. He distracted them so he and Mama Fortuna could get a head start. It's the kind of plan that Subaru would come up with…

As Guese and Fortuna raced away, strange men in purple robes began to attack the strangers and the beast in the forest.

Those are Guese's…friends?

The robed men were an effective distraction. The strangers did stop to fight them but the robed men didn't seem to be having any success actually harming the strangers. Guese and Fortuna raced through the elven village carrying the little girl.

Guese and Fortuna are yelling, trying to rouse all of the elves to flee. They know that we can't fight these strangers…

The elves began streaming out of their houses, not bothering to grab anything before they took flight. They followed Guese and Fortuna's wild escape desperately trying to get away.

Emilia raced after them, trying to keep up with Guese and Fortuna. The crowd of elves was far bigger than she remembered and Emilia didn't want to lose them in it.

The crowd broke free of the trees and began to stream across a vast meadow with a large hill in the middle that lay at the very center of the forest.

Emilia looked back and saw the great beast's midsection rising out of the forest behind them, a great, black serpentine shape that crested the trees like an enormous wave as it crushed the last of the purple robed men attacking it.

The fleeing elves were surmounting the tall hill in the meadow when suddenly the strangers were just there right in their midsts.

The elves all drew back, shivering in fear but Guese stepped forward again putting himself between the strangers and his family.

The little girl whimpered and Mama Fortuna cradled her, whispering to the child.

Mama is trying to comfort Elaine. Elaine is so scared and so is Mama.

Guese appeared to be making some kind of threat as he pulled a small black box out of his pocket. The strangers actually took a step back.

What is in the little black box Guese just pulled out and why do the strangers look afraid of it? I wish I could understand what they were saying but… Elaine wasn't listening. She was probably trying not to hear. To her this was just a dreadful nightmare that she couldn't wake up from.

Guese opened the box and something black and terrible crawled out. It wrapped around him like a strangling snake and then enveloped him. His body grew arms; many, many arms made of shadows that writhed and twisted like tentacles. Guese screamed in terrible agony.

Oh dear, Guese what have you done? This must be some kind of witchcraft he's using. He can't control it. It's hurting him, it's ruining him. Guese is… sacrificing himself to protect Mama Fortuna and Elaine.

Guese flung himself at the strangers, beating and clawing at them with his many arms but he didn't seem to be having any effect. Neither stranger seemed to be hurt at all. The blurry stranger gestured and one of Guese's shadowy arms went wide and reached behind him-

Where it tore through Mother Fortuna's stomach.

Fortuna fell to her knees with a shocked expression and the little girl was dropped onto the snowy ground.

Guese looked back at Fortuna with horror and the blurry stranger said something in an amused tone.

"Mama…" The little girl whispered, her face frozen in horror.

This is where it happens… This is where everything goes wrong… It was all because of me… We could have gotten away. Mama was badly wounded but she could have been healed. If I hadn't lost control she might have survived. I was so stupid and cowardly, it was all my…

Emilia suddenly glanced away from Fortuna and looked at the little girl standing before her; her eyes were huge and tears were streaming down her face.

…Elaine looks like she's in such terrible pain… Her mother's blood is splashed across her own face. She's so tiny…

The wound in Mama Fortuna's stomach is so much bigger than I remember. Could it have even been healed?

Guese screamed in misery and flung himself at the strangers like a man possessed but the man in white made a throwing motion and Guese was lifted up and flung far into the distance with a despairing cry as he crashed into the woods where the monstrous snake prowled.

Poor Guese. He never could have escaped from that monster. He died trying to save us…

The strangers were talking but the little girl didn't hear them. She was staring up at her mother in anguish.

Fortuna stroked her daughter's face as her body began to sway and tremble.

What did Mama say… I couldn't tell… I couldn't hear anything over the roaring in my ears.

The blurry stranger moved closer, extending her hand toward the little girl and the child drew back. She kept looking between the strangers and Fortuna's terrible wound as if unable to decide which frightened her more.

The little girl screamed in terror and the world erupted in blue light. A terrible wind swept up out of nowhere and buried the area in white frost.

The little girl kept wailing, unable to control her own magic or her own pain and around her… everything froze.

The strangers were buffeted by the magic. The blurry figure sounded annoyed for the first time but Emilia couldn't make out what she was saying.

The blurry figure gestured and then the strangers were… simply gone.

The little girl stared up in shock at her mother who still knelt in the snow; now a living sculpture of solid ice with a terrible gaping hole in the center.

The elves all across the broad field were frozen; hundreds and hundreds of elves reduced to living statues in a moment.

But for those few statues that were at the epicenter of the spell…

No…

The little girl looked up in abject horror as the ice sculpture of her mother began to crack from the bitter cold.

The child shook her head in furious denial and grabbed at the statue, franticly trying to hold it together.

Then the statue fractured into pieces and the little girl caught the effigy of Mother Fortuna's staring head in her own hands.

The little girl trembled. The world trembled around her.

Then she screamed.

The unleashed magic surged to incredible levels, inflicting cold on the forest, the likes of which could scarcely be imagined.

Emilia had to turn her face away as the magic flared with a brilliant white light. All she could hear was the agonized wailing of the little girl.

I can barely make out the words in Elaine's shrieks. She's begging for her mother to come back, to be alright again. She's promising that she'll be good.

Why is there no one here to comfort this poor child?

And then it was over. The little girl stood frozen herself, encased in a gigantic pillar of ice. Her face was contorted with pain and countless tears were frozen against her cheeks.

The forest was completely still except for the frigid wind.

This is where it always happens, Emilia thought, This is where I completely lose control of myself and throw all the magic I have against that freak; that monster who destroyed her own home, who murdered everyone who trusted her, who even killed her own Mother. The vile witch that should rightly be hated by all the world. I scream and I scream and I scream until it feels like my throat is bleeding. I scream until the trial finally ends and I can just leave this awful place…

Emilia stepped closer to the frozen pillar that held the tiny girl inside it.

Elaine… you must have been so scared… You're in so much pain… I'd give anything to be able to hold you tight and promise you that everything will be alright…

Emilia shook her head and although her eyes were moist she almost smiled, "Subaru, was this… was this what you thought would happen…? Subaru, you dirty sneak… You knew. You knew that… I could hate Emilia but… I could never bring myself to hate Elaine."

Emilia stroked the side of the pillar and pressed her forehead against it.

"Elaine… you poor wounded thing," Emilia whispered, her eyes filling up with tears, "What kind of ignorant cruel wretch could ever hate you? You were just a child. You were trapped in a horrible situation that you could barely understand. Of course you panicked. Of course you lost control."

Emilia wrapped her arms around her chest as if struggling to hold herself together. She began to shake as her tears poured freely down her cheeks.

Emilia fell to her knees with a despairing wail, crying loud agonizing sobs that tore at her heart. She wept for her shattered family, for the ruined forest, for all the people trapped under Emilia's own curse.

And for the first time, she even wept for Emilia.

Outside of the house, Subaru, Beatrice, and Rem encounter Garfiel and Ryuzu.

"Ryuzu," Subaru called, "I need to talk to the villagers and all the people of the Sanctuary. I'd like you and Garf to come as well."

Ryuzu bowed her head, "Very well then," She said.

Ryuzu walked away and Subaru and his group followed.

Garfiel leaned against a tree, kicking stones, "Why should my glorious self waste my time with you?" Garfiel sneered.

"Because everyone in the Sanctuary is in mortal danger," Subaru called over his shoulder. "I thought maybe you'd like to hear about it."

Garfiel scowled and begrudgingly followed along.

It was a long while later. Emilia wasn't sure how long she had been here but she had shed her tears.

She knelt beside the frozen pillar. The little girl was still trapped inside; her agony and misery captured clearly in the ice for anyone willing to look.

Emilia sniffed, "Elaine… I know that you're not really Elaine. Elaine… doesn't exist yet. She might never exist. But I need to pretend that you're Elaine because… I don't think that I could say this to Emilia yet."

She stood up and took a deep breath, "Elaine, this was not your fault. You didn't want this to happen. You didn't mean for it to happen. You did the best that you could in an impossible situation and that is all that anyone can ever do." Emilia wept but her voice was steady.

"I know that this will be hard for you to accept, it will take you a long time to understand it, but… you can't blame yourself for what happened here. It just isn't fair to you. You did not kill your mother. She could have never survived her injury, no matter what you did. She died because she was wounded not because of your magic. The important thing is to always remember how much she loved you and to never stop moving forward and trying to make her proud."

"This was not your fault, Elaine but it is your responsibility," Emilia continued; and had she but known it, in that moment she sounded very much like Mother Fortuna, "You froze these people and you must never stop trying to put it right. It will be difficult. The burden will sometimes feel overwhelming but that's why we have friends and family to help share the burden when it gets to be too heavy. It's alright to let others help you, Elaine. Because what's most important isn't that you personally atone for your sins or that you expurgate your own guilt, it's that you finally make things right for all the people that you hurt."

"It will be a long and difficult journey, Elaine but I know that you can do it. You're stronger than you'd ever believe."

Emilia turned away crying, "Goodbye, Elaine. I wish that… I really could have been your mother."

Emilia walked away from the pillar and the entire world vanished into a white blur.

Emilia groaned and opened her eyes. She saw Felt loaming over her looking worried, "Mili! Are you OK?!"

"Yes, I… think so," Emilia whispered, getting to her feet, "I think… I think that I passed the first trial."

"What?! That's amazing, Mili! Should we go and tell Subaru?" Felt asked.

Emilia shook her head, "No, Subaru is doing his job. Now I need to do mine," Emilia said reaching, for the orb again.

Emilia staggered and Felt barely managed to catch her before she hit the ground.

Ryuzu had gathered up all the Sanctuary residents and they were standing together near where the Arlem villagers waited.

The two groups were both looking at each other suspiciously as Subaru, Rem, Beatrice, and Garfiel arrived.

"Subaru!" Petra screamed in delight and ran over to wrap her arms around him.

"Hi, Petra," Subaru said, giving her a one armed hug. "It's good to see you again. I've been worried."

"Lord Subaru! Thank goodness you've found us," The chief said as he and a group of officials approached. "We fled Arlem and Lord Roswaal led us here when we were attacked by a terrifying monster. It's hard to describe it but it-"

"Don't bother describing it," Subaru sighed, "Beatrice and I fought it too. It's dead now."

Gasps of amazement ran through the crowd, "Lord Subaru, you were able to kill that monstrosity?"

Subaru barely hesitated, "Yeah, it's dead," He replied.

Ironically, this lie has nothing to do with my ego. If I told them a pair of Sin Archbishops had come to rescue me and they slaughtered that thing to protect me, I'd just derail the conversation for the next two hours and that is time that I don't have to waste.

Or I could just tell them that I'm one of these monsters. Subaru the Archbishop. The Witch.

Fuck me.

"We are eternally in your debt once again, Lord Subaru," The village chief said, kneeling and gesturing for everyone else to do so as well.

"Please don't," Subaru cut them off, "Really. For one thing, it's my fault that I wasn't there to protect you guys in the first place. Reinhard and I were off killing the White Whale instead of-"

"My lord!" The chief gasped, "You slew the White Whale?!" The entire group broke into excited chatter.

Subaru closed his eyes for a moment and counted backwards from ten. For fuck's sake! I am not trying to brag here!

Subaru put his fingers to his lips and whistled, "Please everyone! Stop talking!" He yelled.

Everyone fell silent.

"Thank you," Subaru grumbled, "Anyway, we need to get you all out of here. More monsters like the one that attacked Arlem are coming here and we need to evacuate the Sanctuary immediately."

"But, my lord, Lord Roswaal warned us that the barrier-"

"I know, I know," Subaru cut him off, "Lady Emilia is working on bringing down the barrier as we speak."

A low angry grumble swept through the crowd.

Gee, that sounds supportive. I wonder why Emilia's self-esteem is so low?

"If Lady Emilia is unsuccessful," Subaru added reluctantly, "I will do my best to break the barrier today as well."

This statement was met with much more enthusiasm.

These god damn people. Why am I trying to save them again?

"We need to prepare to depart in short order," Subaru said, "Please everyone begin packing and preparations to leave immediately. These monsters will slaughter everyone in the Sanctuary. This means that we need to bring everyone with us, both the Arlem villagers and the Sanctuary residents."

"Why don't we just stay and fight?" Garfiel demanded.

Subaru looked over his shoulder and saw Garfiel leaning against a nearby tree with his arms crossed and a sour look on his face.

"I've faced monsters like this before," Subaru said calmly, ignoring Garfiel and speaking to the crowd. "So have many of the people from Arlem. Most of us who did fight such creatures were lucky to escape with our lives. What is approaching us is not a single monster but a group of monsters, all bound to the same purpose," Subaru hesitated a moment, "They are the Sin Archbishops of the Witch Cult."

Gasps of horror and whispered words of terror ran through the crowd and even Ryuzu gave Subaru her undivided attention.

"Please, everyone focus," Subaru ordered, noticing that even Petra who was holding tightly onto his waist, was staring up at Subaru in terror. He wrapped his free arm tightly around her, "I understand that you've all been through a lot. This has been a trying time for everyone. It would be completely natural to want to panic but you must not give into that fear! We are only safe as long as we all remain calm and work together. We need to start planning for a rapid exodus. I know that the wagons were cramp and crowded coming into the Sanctuary, they will be even worse going out because we need to take more people with us.

"I'm asking for each of you to think carefully about something: neither the villagers of Arlem nor the residents of the Sanctuary asked to be put in this situation. The same evil is hunting you both! This is not the time to cast blame. We all need to work side by side now and prepare for our departure. We need to travel light. The most important things to transport on these wagons are the people and food and our available space is going to be extremely limited.

"I know that many of you assembled here have treasured artifacts, items of immense personal meaning. I am asking you to make a profound sacrifice for your fellow men: if it can be left behind, please leave it behind! No item, however sacred to you, could ever be more precious than another person's life. We need to think carefully about what we can rescue from this place and the most important thing that we could possibly save is each other. We have a lot to do and very little time so please get ready quickly. We plan to depart by sunset tonight. Gather your provisions and stay close to your loved ones. Make sure that you all know what carts you're traveling in and that you're ready to leave at a moment's notice. We can not afford to leave anyone behind."

"Lord… Subaru was it?" Someone from the Sanctuary community raised their hand, "We have a bunch of food preserves at the Sanctuary storehouse. We could bring them here."

"Excellent, everyone please help this man to gather all the food you can," Subaru said to the entire crowd, "I'm sorry to be so blunt but if the Archbishops act here as they have in other places I've seen, I doubt that we're going to be able to come back here and salvage anything later so we should take whatever we can now. Chief, I'd like to speak with you and the village selectmen in private right now. Miss Ryuzu, would you please join us."

The chief nodded and accompanied by the town selectmen, a group of solid-looking older men and women followed Subaru and Beatrice away to someplace private. Ryuzu, Rem, and Garfiel followed them. The rest of the Arlem villagers and Sanctuary residents got busy with preparations. They were clearly afraid but at least for the moment they appeared to be willing to work together.

"Petra, go stay close to your Mom," Subaru whispered to the girl still holding onto him tightly, "This is going to be a rough day."

Petra nodded with wide eyes and vanished into the crowd.

"That girl should keep her hands off Betty's Subaru, I suppose," Beatrice grouched.

Subaru actually surprised himself by laughing.

They all gathered some distance away where Subaru was certain they would not be accidentally overheard.

"Gentlemen, I think we have a good chance of getting everyone out of here alive and safe," Subaru began.

The group nodded.

"However, we are all men and women of responsibility and we know that, like it or not, we must also plan for the event of catastrophic failure," Subaru continued.

"What is your meaning, my lord?" The chief asked.

"Emilia is currently trying to break the barrier. If she fails, I will do everything in my power to break the barrier and ensure that everyone can escape safely," Subaru said, "If I fail then we are out of options. The people will simply need to charge the barrier and take their chances," He said bluntly.

Gasps ran around the group.

"My lord!" The chief protested, "If we simply run the barrier then-"

"Roughly thirty percent of the people will die," Subaru said calmly, "If you believe Roswaal. Perhaps that is generous and fifty percent will die in the crossing. However, if the Sin Archbishops find you here, then one hundred percent of you will die. That is the math, gentlemen. It is cold and it is cruel but no leader can afford to ignore it. Fifty percent surviving is better than none."

The group all muttered to themselves in fear but no one contradicted Subaru.

"If I fail to break the barrier then I will stay behind with Lady Beatrice and Lady Emilia. We will make our final stand together in the Sanctuary and hope to give you all enough time to escape," Subaru said.

"But, my lord, didn't you say that you can pass the barrier-" Ryuzu ask quietly.

"I can pass the barrier," Subaru cut her off, "However, that is not going to happen."

"My lord, forgive me for speaking out of turn," The chief said, "But you are a royal candidate. To stay behind and sacrifice yourself for us is truly heroic but you have responsibilities-"

"Please stop, chief," Subaru was coldly furious with himself. He bent every ounce of his will onto restraining that fury instead of casting it at the completely undeserving village chief, "I want there to be no misunderstanding nor do I have the time or patience right now for anyone who could misjudge me as any form of 'hero.' This entire mess that both Arlem and the Sanctuary have been engulfed by is completely my fault. I failed to see through the webs of my enemies and I am truly sorry that any of you have been caught in the same net."

I never even suspected Roswaal of plotting against us. It never even crossed my mind. And the entire time he was playing me like a fiddle. He knew everything about me all along. He even knew that my Authority was manipulating and corrupting the people I care about…

"My lord, what are you-"

"Lord Roswaal is the architect behind all of this suffering," Subaru said bluntly.

Gasps ran around the crowd.

"He admitted it to me. Petelguese was never chasing you after you left Arlem. Roswaal lied and he led you all to the Sanctuary with purpose. He wanted to trap the Lady Emilia with three hundred angry resentful people who needed her to save them so that she would be forced to endure the trials every day. A trial that is nothing more than a form of emotional torture for her!" He snarled, "She tried day after day after day to save you all until she had been broken into pieces!" He yelled.

I'm screaming at these people. It's not really their fault that all of this happened but I can't help it. I'm not even sure when I made the decision to tell them all this it feels like it just kind of happened. I'm losing control.

Should I have told them about Roswaal? Well, it's probably for best that they know. They can at least try to protect themselves from him.

Bullshit. That's not why I told them. This was just the only way I could try to hurt Roswaal right now. I'm doing this out of pure spite.

Subaru the Witch.

Subaru took a deep breath and attempted to calm himself, "My staying behind here is in no way heroic; it is an act of pure selfishness. The Lady Emilia and Lady Beatrice are unable to pass the barrier. I refuse to part with the ones I love ever again in this life; if that means I must remain here and die at their side then that is what I will do. I make no excuse for my selfish behavior but I hope that at least you all might profit by it."

No one spoke.

Beatrice whimpered.

Subaru shook off his self loathing, "We don't know who might be affected by the barrier if they are forced to go through it. We need to err on the presumption that the driver of each wagon could die in the passing. There needs to be at least one, preferably two backup drivers in each wagon ready to take the reins and keep going if the worst should happen.

"One more thing: Once outside the barrier I want all the wagons to split up. Regardless of how long I can distract these creatures, sooner or later they might come after you. Disperse and go in different directions. That will make it harder for the Archbishops to catch up with you. You can plot a new course for somewhere safe once you get some distance between you and the Sanctuary. Arlem is safe for the moment now that Petelguese is dead so perhaps heading back there with the Sanctuary residents would be best."

"We will see to it, my lord," The chief promised.

"This is a dark business, gentlemen. I truly hope that all of these precautions we have discussed for the worst case scenario were wasted effort but we must hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Our people expect no less of us. We need to stop talking now. We only have a few hours left and every minute counts. Let's try to make sure everyone gets out of here safely."

"Yes, lord," The villagers all bowed.