R.O.B. 37

Orientation Thread: Alpha — Big Damn Heroes, Cross-System Edition

"A Letter From a Forgotten Friend"

A mysterious letter arrives addressed to Joshua, unsigned.

"You don't remember me. You're not meant to yet. But you used to watch the stars with me. You said, if you ever forgot who you were, the stars would still be in the right place. They are. I hope you find yourself again."

...

May 3, 1991 — Black Manor, 12:30 p.m.Receiving Room

The green flames flared again in the Black Manor receiving room, depositing a figure with far more bounce than dignity. Nymphadora Tonks stumbled slightly as she landed, caught her balance, then swept a few wisps of soot off the shoulders of her battered leather jacket.

She straightened, took in the room at a glance, then folded her arms and tilted her head like she was waiting for someone to make the first move.

Josh, Percival, and Arcturus entered from the hall a few moments later.

"Fashionably late," Arcturus observed, his voice cool but not unkind. "And somehow you still arrived louder than the fire."

Tonks gave him an exaggerated bow. "I figured you might be missing the sound of youthful irreverence, Great-Grand Uncle."

Arcturus met her grin with one of his own, sharp as a blade. "If I had missed it, I would have invited your mother when she was fifteen. She had twice your precision and none of your clumsy theatrics."

"Please. She practiced her theatrics. I was born with mine."

"I suspected as much. That haircut is either an act of rebellion or a cry for help."

"Both," she said brightly, her hair shifting from bubblegum pink to the black typical to most blacks, and then settling on a vibrant purple. "Efficient that way."

Josh exchanged a glance with Percival, who looked thoroughly entertained. Arcturus's expression remained unreadable as he stepped aside and gestured.

"Come along. We were just getting to the good part."

Tonks followed, boots tapping softly on the polished stone floor as they returned to the fireside study. She surveyed the room with professional interest, clocking ward signatures and enchanted furniture the way some people noted seating arrangements.

"Nice place. All this filtered light and alchemical glass makes it feel like a museum curated by someone with too many secrets."

Arcturus gave her a sideways glance. "That is the most accurate compliment this room has received in twenty years."

Once settled, she let her eyes drift to Josh. Her posture shifted, shoulders squaring slightly.

"Wotcher, Myrddin," she said with a half-smile. "You made a lot of us miserable during finals. I think Professor Flitwick made a shrine to your essays."

Josh returned her smile with a nod. "Only half of them were written sober. The other half were fueled by spite and espresso."

"Explains a lot, actually."

She grabbed one of the chilled butterbeers from the tray and popped the cap with a flick of her wand.

"Parents are running late," she added. "Got caught up in whatever procedural mess is snarling the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Mum said it's connected to a case that touches all of us, but refused to elaborate. Which means it's probably awful."

Josh raised an eyebrow. "All of us, as in all of us in this room?"

"Or in this bloodline. Or in the country. With Mum it's hard to tell when she's being dramatic or carefully honest."

Arcturus poured another round of Firewhiskey and muttered something that might have been "just like her mother."

Percival sat back in his chair. "And yet you showed up without needing to be dragged."

"I got curious," Tonks admitted. "You don't hear of the old families calling secret summits every day. Figured if something interesting was happening, I'd rather be early than out of the loop."

She leaned back in her chair, balancing it on two legs for a moment before letting it fall forward again with a soft thump.

"So. What did I miss? Or should I wait until the rest of the tribunal assembles?"

Josh took another sip of his butterbeer. "Just the opening moves. The board is still being set."

Tonks grinned. "Then I'll enjoy the front-row seat."

.....

The banter continued behind him, a slow-rolling conversation between Arcturus, Tonks, and Percival that wove family memories with wry insults and outdated dueling etiquette. Josh tuned it out just enough to smile politely while sipping his butterbeer.

Then a familiar shimmer of gold flickered just above his wrist.

A scroll of glowing parchment unfurled in the air, silent and smug.

📜 System MessageQuest Complete: Optional Guide — "So You Got a Letter…"Delivery Confirmed: One copy claimed by Dean Thomas, age 10.Status: Incoming Hogwarts student (1st year), active system holder, first-generation magical.

System Commentary:"Ah yes, technicalities. A single unshelved copy accidentally fell into the hands of someone at Flourish and Blotts, and the clerk told him to keep it. Truly, the chaos gods have a sense of humor."

Reward Distributed:

3500 EXP

Prestige Title: Author — Orientation Grade

Stream Interface: Active

Access Level: Widened — Pending Additional Approvals

Excerpt Uploaded:Chapter Three — A Note on Language

The words "Muggle" and "Muggle-born" are commonly used throughout magical Britain, but both terms carry long histories of exclusion. "Muggle" originally comes from a centuries-old French insult meaning "foolish outsider" and was first applied to non-magical peoples in the 1400s by an anti-mundane purist sect.

"Muggle-born" was coined during the Goblin Revolts as a way to classify those of magical ability raised in mundane households. Though used frequently, it subtly reinforces the idea that bloodline affects magical legitimacy. It does not.

The term "mudblood" is a deliberate slur. It should never be used, and those who wield it casually are either dangerously ignorant or open bigots. If someone uses it in conversation without shame or regret, they are declaring themselves unfit for decent company and should be hexed into next week. If they double down, consider relocating them permanently to the Outback, where they can build a new life among the kangaroos.

Preferred alternatives include "first-generation magical," "mundane-raised," or the American term "No-Maj" — the last of which is broader, neutral, and applies without the baggage. Language matters. It shapes the world we live in. Use better words, and you build a better world.

Josh exhaled softly through his nose. "Well," he muttered under his breath, just loud enough for the System to hear, "guess it really is official."

There was no audible response, but he felt the subtle smirk ripple through the interface.

And then, without ceremony, the Stream tab blinked to life.

📜 System Notification

📜 System Update — Cross-System Communication Channel ExpandedChannel: [Multiversal Support / Orientation Group Alpha]Status: Live

[Transcript: Friday, May 3, 1991 | Stream Alpha]

Participants:

momfriend.exe (Aidan) [Admin Access]

disinterested doorknob (Dylan)

most interesting demigod in the world (Hunter)

cartoon nightmare (Brad)

New Features Activated:

Group Chat UI Update

Stream Attachment Interface [Pending Synchronization]

Guest Invite Permissions [Coming Soon]

New Users Inbound [ETA: Variable]

momfriend.exe:So. I'm guessing everyone else just got the UI update too?

disinterested doorknob:Stream tab is visible, yeah. Mine says "sync pending." No clue what that means.

cartoon nightmare:It means something cool is happening, obviously. You're all welcome.

disinterested doorknob:You're not responsible. Stop trying to assign yourself credit every time the system breathes.

most interesting demigod in the world:Mine pinged me mid-run. Interface tried to update on the go. I closed it and it came back harder. Like it knew I wasn't paying attention.

momfriend.exe:Same here. Nothing invasive, just… firm. And I don't like that I couldn't trace the source. Stream's not tied to me. It's linked to someone with higher permissions.

disinterested doorknob:Wait, higher than you? That's a thing?

momfriend.exe:Apparently. I'm still admin, but this is above my level. Like a super-admin was just quietly dropped into the server without warning.

cartoon nightmare:Maybe it's one of the R.O.B.s watching the chat now. Or maybe we finally unlocked the next phase of our trial.

disinterested doorknob:Stop narrating your conspiracy theories like a trailer voiceover.

most interesting demigod in the world:Do we know what the Stream is even supposed to do?

momfriend.exe:No documentation, which is annoying. But it's definitely a broadcasting tool. Feels passive—like it's listening, not talking.

disinterested doorknob:So they're adding people and a surveillance channel. Neat.

cartoon nightmare:You're just mad because your idea of fun is watching paint dry.

most interesting demigod in the world:Paint dries faster than you think, if you set it on fire.

momfriend.exe:Focus. We also got a flag that guest invites are coming. Not open yet. Controlled by whoever's behind the Stream. I'm guessing it's related to whatever brought the new admin in.

disinterested doorknob:That's fine, as long as we get a say in who shows up. I'm not babysitting another C.N..

cartoon nightmare:That's a low blow.

most interesting demigod in the world:Deserved.

....

Josh stared at the floating parchment as it dissolved back into nothingness. He took a slow sip of his butterbeer and let the warmth settle before muttering under his breath, dry and just shy of smug:

"Five points to Gryffindor."

The System didn't laugh, but he felt the smirk. Smug, silent approval like a cat watching a dog slip on tile.

A pulse of ambient magic flickered in the air. His connection to the Cross-System Interface was now unmistakably live.

Josh tilted his head, then tapped the edge of the new "Stream Interface" tab with a mental nudge.

The chat window flickered open in a corner of his mind, nestled into the periphery of his perception like an open book on a nightstand.

He smirked.

[SYSTEM ACCESS]Global Orientation Channel: ALPHA THREADChat Status: ActiveAdmin: momfriend.exeParticipants:

cartoon_nightmare

disinterested_doorknob

most_interesting_demigod

momfriend.exe

[YOU] (currently anonymous)

Josh sent a single message. No name. No identifier. Just a whisper to see who was paying attention.

[???:]soon.

The message hit the feed with chilling subtlety, no user icon, just a gray timestamp and a soft ripple of interface noise.

He could already imagine the chaos brewing behind those unread responses.

From the next room, the conversation continued. The low rhythm of Arcturus' voice, tempered by Tonks' snark and Percival's dry retorts, painted a picture of generations negotiating relevance. Laughter rose again, brief and sharp, punctuated by something that sounded a lot like Arcturus accusing her of being "a walking color-coded contradiction with the grace of a falling bookshelf."

Josh allowed himself a small smile.

Then came the ping.

[System Notification]Potential Chat Additions Detected.You may select up to 3 individuals for early contact approval.Selections may influence new timelines and alternate realities.Selection grants immediate orientation thread access and passive stream sync.

Candidate Pool:System-aligned characters identified from previously indexed dimensional access points.

🌌 MCU / Underworld (World 617):

Tony Stark – StarkNakedLogic

Selene – DeathDealerPrime

🔮 HP Canon World (Post-Canon):

Harry Potter – ScarTactics

Flitwick – SmolButDeadly

🧪 Rick & Morty Universe:

Rick C-137 – PickleMeSideways

Morty – PanicIntern42

🔥 Supernatural Universe:

Dean Winchester – PieOverPeople

Charlie Bradbury – CtrlAltSass

🛰️ Stargate SG-1:

Jack O'Neill – CheyenneDadJokes

Daniel Jackson – AncientLibrarian

🌠 Farscape:

John Crichton – StarCrossedTexas

Pilot – ShipSoul

🌌 Star Wars Universe:

Anakin Skywalker – SandHatesMe

Obi-Wan Kenobi – HelloThereGen

Ahsoka Tano – FulcrumInChat

Josh let the list hover in his mind, each name a thread waiting to be pulled.

The laughter from the other room faded into a murmur. Somewhere behind it, a new layer of complexity began knitting itself into place.

Time to stir the pot.

Josh considered the list for a long moment, his fingers hovering over the interface like a pianist deciding which chord would start the next movement.

Tony Stark. Too useful not to include. Dangerous, arrogant, and a chaotic genius with a penchant for pushing buttons just to see what happens. Still, Josh had plans for a tech expansion down the road, and Stark was practically a cheat code with a sarcasm engine.

Harry Potter. That one felt inevitable. Josh wasn't sure yet what kind of Harry this timeline's canon would allow, but post-war Harry, with enough experience and hindsight? That was someone he could work with. Grounded. Determined. Loyal to a fault. And if nothing else, he would bring some much-needed context for whatever chaos inevitably followed.

Daniel Jackson. The man was a walking lore vault. Languages, cultures, off-world diplomatic disasters. He was probably the only person Josh could name who had survived death more often than some Dungeons and Dragons characters. Perfect for stitching together the wider puzzle.

Josh selected those three, one at a time. As he did, the System gave a low hum of confirmation, then went quiet.

For about five seconds.

A fresh ping dropped like the dramatic sigh of someone already disappointed in his choices.

System NotificationIt appears you forgot to select any of the three Force-aligned options.The Force noticed. The Force has opinions.

It lobbied the R.O.B.s with cosmic inevitability, vague metaphors, and several Force Ghost conference calls.

Administrative Override AcceptedAnakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Ahsoka Tano have joined the Orientation Channel.Reason: "Because balance."

System Commentary...yay...

Josh blinked.

Then laughed.

"Of course it did."

Somewhere in the ether, he could almost hear a smug Qui-Gon Jinn murmuring something about destiny and stubborn padawans.

He took another sip of butterbeer, leaned back in his chair, and watched the System finalize the new interface access for each of the incoming members.

He leaned back, watching the new names finalize in the thread. Chaos was coming.

But the stars were still in the right place.

He should probably prep snacks.

disinterested_doorknob:"StarkNakedLogic" feels like it's compensating for something.

momfriend.exe:New syncs: "ScarTactics," "HybridChronicle," "AncientLibrarian." Interesting range.

most_interesting_demigod:"AncientLibrarian"... sounds like a dusty oracle. Probably wrong, but I'm picturing robes and riddles.

cartoon_nightmare:"SandHatesMe"? Oh no. If that's who I think it is, we're all gonna need popcorn... and emotional support insurance.

..............................

A glimpse of the future.

Omake: Heist Across the Stars — Part I: Serenity Now, Government Later

The Jump Station wasn't on any map.Mostly because the multiverse didn't deal in maps—only in anchors, echoes, and collapse points.

A carved ring of stabilized quantum foam, wrapped in archaic runes and futuristic stabilizers, it existed because Joshua Emrys Myrddin wanted it to. Part save point. Part load state. Part warehouse of stolen potential.

This was where Josh parked the impossible.

And today, it was going to get crowded.

Josh entered the control spire with coffee in one hand and a haptic interface glove in the other.

"Hunter," he called, voice echoing across the vaulted space. "We got the jumps lined up?"

"Course we do," came the reply.Hunter stood at the console, armored in his obsidian rig, spear slung lazily across one shoulder. "Fourteen jumps. Seven high-risk targets. Two Librarian approvals. One Warehouse alignment. And more theoretical ethics violations than you've got caffeine in that mug."

Josh smirked. "So… Tuesday."

Quest Active: Heist Across the Stars: Part I — You can't take the skys from me.Target: The Firefly-class vessel Serenity and crew, timeline locked just before the Miranda broadcast.

"They're gonna hate us," Josh muttered as he activated the cloaking veil on their ship, Modulus. "Pulling them right before they blow the Alliance wide open?"

Hunter shrugged. "We're giving them a bigger stage. River deserves better than trauma bait."

The Modulus phased into orbit. Silent. Invisible.

Target acquired.

Aboard Serenity — Two Minutes Later

Chaos bloomed the moment they dropped cloak.

Mal Reynolds had a pistol aimed at Josh's head before introductions were finished.

Then River moved.

She stepped between them, bare feet silent on the deck plating."He's not here to hurt us," she said quietly, eyes fixed on Josh. "He already saw what we haven't."

Josh didn't flinch. "You're about to blow the Reaver truth wide open. And the Alliance is gonna bury it again, harder, meaner, faster. But what if I told you… I can show the 'verse? All of it. Every system. Every colony. Every lie."

Mal narrowed his eyes. "What's the price?"

Josh smiled. "You work with me."

Jayne snorted. "Is this one of those cult things?"

"Only if you worship caffeine and contingency plans," Josh shot back, deadpan.

River smiled. She already knew how it ended.

One Hour Later

The Miranda files were dumped into every open Alliance net, every feed, every shadow stream.No time for silence. No room for cover-up.

And Serenity vanished into a wormhole the Alliance couldn't follow.

Mal never quite stopped swearing about it.But he never tried to leave either.

Back at the Jump Station, docking clamps extended.

The Modulus eased into its platform, and behind it, Serenity followed—singed, scraped, but intact. Her crew filed out slowly, warily, taking in the impossible architecture and flickering multiversal sky.

Josh stood at the threshold, arms crossed, coffee cup still steaming.He gave Mal a nod.

"She's yours. As long as she flies, she flies in your world. But hit the home button..."He tapped the glowing rune near the helm."…and she brings you back here. Station rules. One anchor, infinite stars."

Mal stared at the ship. Then the Station. Then Josh.

"Hell of a thing."

"It's what I do."

River tilted her head, already absorbing the rhythm of the Station's pulse. "Feels like destiny. But messier."

Josh just smiled.

"Welcome to the impossible."