Rose Blumen ~ Exogignesthai 1

(Licht)

Remember. Remember. Every morning since that I day I gave Rose my name, I try to remember it.

Painfully. Every time I wake up.

Before that, I had no name.

We had no name.

That broken rose I fled with, deeply wounded, yelling her pain, hated that fact.

That we had no identity. That our memories were just copies.

She's rather die than have me try to regenerate her feet and legs, because as she said; we're not Rose.

These wounds are ours, they make our identity.

She's the one who crushed my right eye. I screamed in pain.

She was grinding her teeth in worse pain than mine, becoming very pale from her loss of blood.

That way I wouldn't be like Rose anymore, and I would become myself she said.

She was sobbing and soon crying, more and more.

And she said that, that way, I would remember her.

Her voice was staggering and cries spreading. She wanted to feel that her life had mattered, even if but a little.

She dreadfully wanted me to remember her as an independent human being.

Through that pain and the loss of one eye...

I remember her. I won't forget.

I won't forget what she did to me.

And one day, I'll put an end to god's rule over us.

I remember who I am.

Ich bin die Licht Trägerin.

Ich werde nicht vergessen. Ich werde nimmer vergessen.

~

I learnt to live in the outer wide world, though I never left this great island.

I've been travelling around at random, learning to use my life, my body, and my light.

That immense power I stole from Dragod seemed limitless. I could just rush into the sky like a bullet at any time, at will. I could make my arms strong enough to crush trees, or even rocks.

I could create light in the middle of the night.

I could have tried to change the world.

Except that god was still there, and surely had more power since it created it endlessly...

Yet it never tried to alter the surface world with it so far.

Why?

I didn't know.

All I knew was what I wanted to become. The one to free my people from god's grasp.

I learnt to feel and sniff out powers such as ours, such as beings-like-her over time.

And one day. One day, I caught the smell of another rose.

On that day, the rose I found, being rocketed away to the sky, was the true one.

Rose... Alive. No, resurrected, and recently even. God had kept its promise while I was away.

Even at that time, god did not care about what would become of me.

Rose against another being, that from what I recall, looks like her nemesis Ogre.

Rose was falling, devoid of power.

I could have left her to die. I've had a second of hesitation.

But my heart ached at the thought of leaving a rose to die to her fate, no matter which one. Her share of responsibility in the roses tragedy didn't made her guilty enough to deserve such an end.

She was like me just another copy of someone who died. She was another rose, though a special one.

I saved her.

I want for all the roses to live free... She, and I, were the only ones so far.

~

I had lost all hatred toward her.

And I had somehow built a personality she looked up to with admiration.

That gave me even more self-confidence, as it meant that I was succeeding in distancing myself from the fate god had written for my birth.

I was achieving my dream for all of us; becoming someone, and someone who isn't just a repeat of an older rose.

I became Licht.

She claimed Rose's legacy, and I would claim my own.

That is how I wanted us to be, and she accepted it.

One day we could become good friends. In the future.

She went toward the continent, to travel with her beloved flower.

And I would return to free the roses someday.

~

I learnt a little from her, from Rose, what had happened after Blume was almost killed by Ogre the first time.

Her experience game me some ideas to help me confront god.

Because mere power wouldn't be enough to let me win. That part was obvious. God is beyond that already.

I need to be smart. I need to think. And I need to be patient as I begin to think of a plan.

~

I didn't met Zeslinry and Myls, Rose's friends, before I met her in the flesh.

They live quite close by my creator, and I therefore got closer with precautions, fearing Dragod's reaction to my approach.

But I never felt any anger in the air. Perhaps god simply had forgotten, or even forgiven me.

Unlikely. And I like better the idea that it didn't. It's easier for me to think that...

I arrived in town. It felt as if I'd been there before as some of her memories copied in me triggered themselves.

I remember the dawn and the view at the top of one of the tallest buildings from the city centre.

I step inside the fortress at that time, without a worry.

Rose has left for the continent and god is far and dormant enough.

I stumble on Myls, the young woman with dark skin. The one trying to learn our old language.

She pointed a gun at my presence, but lowered it right after seeing how human I actually looked.

I smiled through my rapidly growing wrinkles. I don't know why I'm growing old so fast since I left the caves. Maybe it's the light I carry?

~

This condensed, this concentrated, this light may behave like radioactivity, a little. A concept Blume knew of, but not Rose. I'm not growing ill or weak, but my biological form seems to decay much more rapidly than normal. The light gives me all the strength and energy I want, but maybe my organism can't contain that much without beginning to decay.

My body regenerates as quickly as it decays, but it shows, in the symptoms of accelerated aging.

As I looked at my face of an old lady in the mirror, with almost translucent skin and pale hair, I understand that. My blume side feels it to be true. A normal human body cannot contain that much of that kind of energy, without changing a way or another under the pressure.

Perhaps I should change the course of that. Becoming more of a being-like-her...

At this rate, it will be hard for me to see another set of seasons pass...

Behind me, Myls is looking at me, curious and slightly uneasy.

She knows I'm something else, intuitively, even though I'm related to Rose & Blume.

I try to explain them a little about all of it.

They don't trust me.

I can feel it. I can see it through their mind.

I feel lonely...

~