ROSES AND THORNS-BEING REAL

CHAPTER THIRTEEN-REALITY

"I don't know, Real. Just forget it all okay? Can't stop you if wanna keep it, can't stop you." Milan says.

"I'll keep it. After all, it's not the worst. I've heard far worser words than those."

"That's news to me." he says.

I look down to avoid an eye contact with him. The truth is that I'm scared of falling too deeply for him. He's always so cold around me, yet my heart seems to be longing for him. The more he pushes me away is the more I want him.

"I need to get going." I declare.

"Let me get my keys. Come on." Milan says and I follow him to his room. I look around and it's neat as before. He reaches out for his draw and takes out some keys.

"Your room is neat. Possibly the neatest." I tell him.

"A messy room is a threat to mental health."

"Cool, you think so?" I ask.

"I'm serious. So, what you wanna do when you get home?"

"Fix my place, prolly so it's not a threat to my mental health." I tell him and we both crack up.

"You're not ordinary, Real." He says.

Not knowing what to say, I look down and cheeks hit up, turning red and making me blush. I ask him what he's gonna do afterwards and he says arrange his school stuff and starts telling me of how his ex-left him. He shows a picture of Sasha and Troy. I almost cry looking at Sasha's picture.

Looking at Sasha's pictures, I almost choke. She's like a goddess of beauty. She has make-up on and I'm debating with myself whether it's because of the make-up or she's actually pretty, of course I can stand a chance against her, my ego suggests. She's slim with a model body and nice smooth long legs. She looks like a high school diva. She looks like a model I've seen on children's magazines in the past. Her body is just fine, like a pocyline doll.

"Wow." I reply.

"See what I'm talking about?"

"Listen, Lan, now it's your chance to show 'em that you can do just fine without 'em."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, don't let 'em know you still give a fuck, even if you do. You just turn your back to 'em like they did to you. Never make someone a priority when all you're to them is an option. Just show em you're ten times better, coz you are." I tell him.

"That's a lot of talking." He responds.

"Make it a point Lan."

"Yes, ma'am."

"You special Lan, and if nobody sees that specialty in you then they have no right to be close to you. Always remember, you're important." I tell him and he looks at me; the way his eyes linger in mine just give me the kind of 'that means a lot' vibe.

"I think I like-like you, Real." He says. I'm kind of hurt coz I don't want him to think. I want him to be sure and not I want him to be direct. So I decide to just joke about it.

"Awwn, at least someone thinks I'm extraordinary." I say and we both crack up.

"I could just take you on a date right now." Milan says and it comes as a shock to me. He can't be serious; I've seen his type and I'm nowhere close. What if he's just fooling around. Besides, why'd he care about what or how I feel.

"Oh no, if you take me on a date, then I'll fall for you and later you'll leave me for college and just forget about me."

 I tell him and he just jokingly tells me that I'm just overthinking things. I can't accept someone like him; he has a complete family which loves him and supports his dreams, his basketball career, all the expensive luxuries and all the money in the world. His life is so perfect and on the hand I'm a total opposite.

The sky is sky-blue with a small trace of the sun. the wind is blowing gently, making a cool breeze hit my face like a group of unguided spirits. We get into Milan's jeep and he starts the engine. I look around their hoity toity neighborhood as I look through the glass. Oh how I wished I stayed here. I wish my parents had done better though; but there my dad is: walking around free as a bird as if he did not murder my mom.

I ask Milan if it's true that Daryn's gonna leave them, he asks me where I heard it from and I tell him his mom. He agrees that it's true and that he has no choice but to accept the way things are even though being an only child could be challenging and lonely. In my opinion I think it'd be fun considering the family I come from.

Looking around, I see the subway and people moving up and down. I didn't realize how far we've been travelling. Not like I stay too far, though. But, I'm home.

"So, you didn't tell me what you thought of Sasha."

 Milan says, his right hand fixed on the staring wheel and looking at me. I can't lie, whenever I think of Sasha, I feel an ounce of jealousy. I mean, she's the definition of pretty in our time; a blonde.

"Well, she uses make-up to look pretty."

"And how does that count?"

"She's not confident enough. You can't trust someone who doesn't trust how she looks." I reply taking my bag from the backseat.

"I'll get going now." I say.

"Wait." Milan says putting his hand in his left pocket; money; a lot of hundred-dollar banknotes. He stretches out his hand to me.

"Here." he says. I look at the money and then him. I just give a long gaze.

"I can't do this." I say getting off the car.

"Come on, Real." Milan says.

"Is this I wanna fuck you money, or you need help money?"

"What, you crazy or something?"

"I'm not a charity case, Milan." I tell him and he seems kind of offended. I don't take handouts, I wanna make it myself. I'm not some lazy slut walking around waiting to meet a rich guy and develop a parasitic relationship. I'm fine this way; I'll figure it out. Like I've always done.

"I know you aren't. I Just wanna help."

"Well, I don't need help." I tell him.

"It's just your luck." He says.

"I don't believe in luck to get what I want. I work hard." I tell him.

"A'ight, got you. Just hit me up when you need anything." He says

"I'll reconsider."

I lean in and push my hair aside as I move closer to give him a peck on the cheek and look at him in the ear and we both smile. Wish I could do more, but it is what it is. I wave at him and join the crowd. A few moments later, I realize a hand around my arm and I'm pinned against a wall. I swear I almost curse; this has been happening too many damn times.

"What the hell d'ya think you're doing?" I shout on top of my voice.

I see the tats on his beautiful brown skin, the rings on his hand and the familiar Dior perfume; Ryan, my ex-boyfriend. He pulls me closer and puts his arms around my waist; I don't hug him back. It's obvious Trig and Sneak snitched on me. my nostrils flair up and I bite my lower lip and fold my hands into fists. I wish I hadn't left Milan's place earlier.

"Where you been, baby." Ryan says.

"Ryan." I say holding his hands from my waist.

"I ain't your girl no more." I remind him.

"Yeah, but why'd you get my money, then?"

"I didn't the boss did. What was you thinking bringing your dirty money to my workplace, and wanna know more? I got fired." I say.

"You gonna give me my money or not?" He asks.

"Will you get me my job back?" I ask.

"I hear you walking around with some rich guy these days?" Ryan says and the other two crack up, what if he decides to hurt Milan?

"We could take care of him if you want." Trig says looking at the others and they crak up. God, these guys are so annoying.

"You'll accept me then, right?" Ryan asks with a smirk.

"Forget about me stumbling back on you, I'd never dare. Your bitch nearly gave a death sentence." I say.

"Now you talking crazy."

"Ryan, this bitch is talking shit, why don't you just shoot her?" Savage suggests and I feel kind of scared. I'm not ready to die; but Ryan clearly can't shoot me.

"Not, today Real and I will talk. That was just a mistake Real, I didn't mean it." Ryan says taking my hands.

"You ain't got the bread." Ryan's guys try threatening me, but I stand on my ground that I'm not getting back with him, but Ryan keeps forcing me to go with him. I challenge him that even if he shoots me, I won't even go with him he promises to shoot my new lover, but I tell him I ain't got any.

"We'll take care of whoever has your time."

"If you try to lay a finger on whoever I'm seeing, you can call it game over coz I'll turn you in myself. I keep a lot of your secrets, so I were you, I wouldn't think of threatening me." I tell him and he looks defeated.

"Let's just end this bitch right now." sneak says.

"We ain't going to jail for this bitch, let's just go back to Illinois." Trig says.

"I set you free then, Real. Just know I'll always be waiting when someone messes with you."

"Whatever man, I'm not your property."

 I tell em and demand my mom's bracelet back, at first Trig is reluctant to give it, but they give me and some stuff I can't disclose right now. I can't believe I'm free, free from his mischievous ass. I don't wanna people dying because of me. I decide to stop by somewhere and get some hair fiber so I can make braids.