Skyrim: A Sorcerer's Tale

Alternate title: Meeting the slightly less imperial council.

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"Now that we have all been fed and watered, I do believe it is time we addressed today's agenda." Titus spoke as the room quietened down.

Marshal Valenicus' content expression immediately twists into a scowl "The Elder Council."

"Yes, quite." Titus' lip twitches up under his beard before he turns serious "As you all know, the regular quarterly session is to be held today, and it has been confirmed that the majority of the representatives will be present."

"So we are to entertain the petty bureaucrats even now?" Maro joins his fellow soldier in voicing his displeasure "I thought we were finally getting rid of the fools."

"Petty bureaucrats they may be, Commander." Francis Vierre speaks up "But they do have their uses, if we ignore their inefficiency of course."

I let out a light snort "You don't just disband an ancient fixture of every single Tamrielic Empire with the snap of your fingers." I give the Commander a serious look "That would just be asking for the Thalmor to leap at us while our pants were down."

Maro's frown deepens but he slowly nods in acceptance.

"And yet their influence must be pruned." Herjolfr says the obvious "Lest we permit the issues of the Empire to persist, even as a new conflict approaches."

"Indeed" Jukulus, the Bosmer Chancellor, nods "It is an unfortunate fact my fellows, that we must toe the line between absolutism and appeasement in this case. The rescindment of the Talos ban has already seen some unrest rise among those less loyal to the Empire's dream and should we push too harshly now, we may find ourselves open to attack while, as the honorable Lord Dagoth stated, our pants were down."

"I fail to see the issue with this." Battlemage Caladon speaks up softly "It is always wiser to use the least amount of effort and force to reach one's goals. If we can slowly suborn the power of the Elder Council while still not entering outright conflict with the Thalmor, I am all for it."

"But that does leave the question, Caladon." Alakim sighs "How long will the Thalmor be distracted with other things before their eyes return to us fully?"

"Then we simply pretend their focus is unnecessary." Minthara says with only a moment's pause.

All eyes turn to her, and after they realize she wasn't about to elaborate unprompted the Seneschal breaks the silence "Would you care to elaborate on that, Your Highness?"

"It is simple, really." She shrugs with a rather devious glint in her eyes "We make it look like the factionalism is still there while ensuring the loyalty of everyone where they can not see us."

"That would mean delaying some of our more overt actions." Jukulus points out "Something which could lead to a great delay in our readiness."

"The delay would buy me valuable time to do my work in the north." Ara Maeris adds almost absently as she was still half-focused on the plans she and I had proposed during our little conversation.

"A balancing act then." The Chancellor hums in thought before meeting her eyes with Minthara "We would have to delay announcing your title, if you are content with that?"

She shrugs "Even if some idiot tried usurping us everyone knows who holds the divine right to rule."

"Correct." Titus speaks up and cuts off some of his more loyal followers "So we are in agreement then? A delay in overt action favoring an increase in subterfuge?"

"Indeed, Your Majesty." Jukulus inclines his head "Though the length of this delay should be discussed as well."

"The three months before the next Elder Council meeting at most." I speak up, drawing their gazes "Minthara's right to rule is not something that can truly be hidden seeing as it is literally a part of the Imperial Cult and she didn't bother being too subtle about her ties to the legion while we were still in Skyrim."

She crosses her arms and huffs while looking away.

I roll my eyes with some amusement, drawing quite a bit of attention to the byplay "And so we should use the window of time before the Thalmor truly begin paying attention to deal with our greatest opponents on the home front."

Maro narrows his eyes "I trust you will be making extensive use of your... contacts?"

"You can just call them my spies and assassins Maro." I smirk "It is after all a religious rite for us."

He scowls but doesn't correct me.

"The delay will make holding the Cult together slightly more difficult." Herjolfr speaks up "But I do not foresee any great issues cropping up if I make my moves correctly." He gives me a pointed look at that.

"The dirt shall be delivered as ordered." I bow theatrically and the priest does the amused old man scoff.

"It would seem that the skeleton of a plan has been created already." Titus draws our attention back by tapping his glass again "Now to discuss the minutiae."

The following two hours were... interesting, to say the least.

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The chamber of the Ruby Throne was as impressive as it was massive, the pale marble-like stone used to make the White Gold Tower making the interior of the grand building look almost heavenly to behold, the just as imposing staircase leading up to the throne making the allegory even more blatant in my mind.

Imposing as the seat of power was, the real mess waiting for us stood just below. The Elder Council had become so overly influential over the years that the space below the throne, previously used to hear out the greatest of grievances, was now completely dedicated to the meeting place of the most influential and powerful.

There was still a space for grievances to be aired, placed oh so very neatly in the center of the chamber, exactly between the two rows of interconnected stone tables used to seat the councilors of the Empire.

The fact that merely standing in such a spot while surrounded by figures of power would make most people shit themselves went completely ignored, as these things usually were.

The massive throng of nobles, scholars, priests, and wealthy merchants quietened down as we entered the throne room, Titus walking up to his throne followed only by Commander Maro while the rest of us were seated just below him at the head of the 'table'.

That Minthara and I were granted the seats of honor did not surprise many but I still managed to hear some petty idiots grumbling about it.

I took the moment of relative inattention to observe those gathered. The Elder Council, in its current iteration at least, made very little sense in the conventional way politics were meant to be done. It was like an arena of influence where the supposed 'best and brightest' were chosen to represent their respective provinces and societal stations on what I would generously call whimsy rules of personal recommendations and one's ability to bribe enough such recommendations out of people.

It was a complete and utter shitshow was the long and short of my impression. A proper parliament was something I could respect even if it was usually nearly as flawed as what I was currently seeing. Hell, I could even go so far as to approve of the original idea of the Elder Council and yet the idiocy of its operation was only second place in what irritated me the most about this.

What truly infuriated my most enlightened self was the fact that this was considered to be in any way shape or form acceptable conduct for representatives of the people.

'Feudal world pops.' Scorch rolls his eyes 'Don't get your robes in a twist. The fact that they even have some kind of council to check the ruler is impressive enough.'

'Shut it you discount piece of fried chicken' I whack him mentally, earning a surprised and betrayed squawk 'I need to develop the appropriate sense of superiority so I can ruin all of their lives without feeling bad about it later.'

'Yeah, that tracks' Bird man lets out a beat of chirpy laughter 'You know, the world would be so much better and safer if the stupid featherless degenerates simply accepted that worshiping Scorch, their gracious savior, was the way to go.'

'That sounds like way too much work' I note and he begins grumbling under the weight of the truth, his divine ambitions withheld... for now.

"Honored members of the Elder Council." Jukulus stands up from his seat while I was still bickering with myself "We thank you all for gathering today in service of the Empire and its Emperor."

An almost mechanical agreement comes from the crowd with only a few truly earnest supporters offering their respect.

The reedy Bosmer ignores the blatant show of disunity and goes on "As is tradition, we shall begin by the council voicing their issues before the Emperor and his own advi-"

"Why are those four in here?" An opulently garbed Breton interrupts the Chancellor "They are not members of this council!"

"I think I know you" I cut him off, remembering something Davos told me while we were discussing potential annoyances "You are the Lord of Menevia, are you not?"

"Count." He corrects with grit teeth "And you are a meddling upstart!"

"Still crying about Evermor's growing influence?" I smirk and the rest of the council is more than happy to observe the ensuing drama.

"Those fools are spitting on our traditions!" The Breton Count ironically lets out spittle as he speaks "Had you not invited them their foolish ambitions would have never gotten the chance to take hold! And now we have to deal with their foolish notions of equality and equal opportunity!"

'Reynauld you beautiful bastard' I smirk "Are you accusing me of calling the Empire's might to arms Count?" I lean in slowly "Are you telling me that you supported Ulfric's little rebellion?"

"That is no conce-" He stops and realizes how many eyes were on him "I mean of course not, Lord Dagoth" He speaks through gritted teeth "I seem to have misspoke."

"Indeed." I nod along, as if talking to a small child "You will also find, Count, that any of sufficient rank may attend these meetings, we wouldn't wish for such corrupt notions as exclusivity in the Empire's rule to spread, now would we?"

Sufficiently cowed, he shuts his gob.

"Such enlightening motions aside." A Balfiera Altmer, judging by his garb, speaks up "I would like to inform the council about an increase in piracy coming from northern Hemmerfell, the cro-"

And on and on it goes, multiple genuinely useful points are raised while accompanied by just as many points bordering on the completely asinine. Tales of raids and increases in monster populations coming within the same session of some cunt from Nibenay barking and howling how his favored hist sap he uses for his hunting bows has gone up in price because of Argonian border tensions.

That he was taken even half seriously left me quite... miffed.

Proposals were made, discussed, addressed, accepted or rejected. The council was surprisingly efficient when it came to said discussions with things moving on with impressive speeds if one were to take Earth as a standard for such things.

The biggest point of contention was, of course, the Thalmor. Even to the corrupt members of the Elder Council, the Altmer menace was not something one could simply ignore, even as their proposals to counter such was to give up even more ground and concessions, many of the idiots even going so far as to blame Titus for his decision directly, the Count of Leyawiin being the loudest among them.

The glory hounds also made their voices heard, as many of them clamored for the war to happen as quickly as possible and one of them even coming just a bit too close to suggesting that Titus be deposed in Minthara's favor so 'we could finally get some proper warrior's blood on the throne.'

I did not appreciate how he leered as he said that.

'And so he must die.' Scorch decided.

Finally, after some six hours, it was Titus' turn to make his own will known, the Emperor lightly waving his hand in his Chancellor's vague direction and Jukulus nodding in response.

The Bosmer cleared his throat "His Imperial Majesty has seen fit to approve of a number of projects to restore our northern borders now that the threat of the World Eater has been contained with a finality." His eyes sweep through the gathered councilors, basically daring them to interrupt him "The honored Dragonborn, child of Akatosh, is to be awarded a mansion within the Central District with all upkeep provided by the Empire for the remainder of her life."

Some grumbled but none protested.

"As per her request, the Dragonborn has also been granted an officer's rank within the Imperial Legion, and will be dispatched to pacify the points of greatest threat. Any who wish to join such an endeavor with forces they can afford are welcomed to do so."

She said it herself in our planning session 'I will convince them by smashing heads, it is what I do.' The glory hounds really appreciated this little bit of news.

"And speaking of our honored heroes, Lord Dagoth's request shall also be granted. With the convoy to aid our distant comrades in Morrowind heading out after exactly one month from now." The Bosmer gave me a quick look and I nodded "He has also volunteered to accompany such forces and aid us in restoring strained ties with his kin."

"Can the treasury afford such an expense?" One of the actually competent members of the council asked.

"It can." Jukulus slowly nodded "Especially with the series of projects the Emperor has seen fit to begin work on, so as to enrich both the crown and the people of the Empire." He claps his hands and the surrounding guards begin handing out parchment for the council to read.

And then they spent another six hours shouting at each other and trading favors so the actual work could get done before the next decade.

Minthara looked just about ready to usurp the throne just so she could legally smack them in the head.

Jukulus was far more used to this idiocy though and even as the sun began to set he still spoke calmly "We are in agreement then, new roads and tunnels are to be dug atop the Pale Pass to ease trade while the marshes of Morthal are to be drained and the land turned arable."

The response he got was grumbling agreement.

"Excellent." He claps his hands lightly "I thank you once more for doing your duty to the Empire and bid you a good evening."

"I would also recommend remaining within the city limits if your duties permit." The Chancellor adds as the councilors begin getting up to leave "As the Emperor has seen fit to honor our heroes with a grand display in the Imperial Arena, all councilors present are invited."

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