Somebody Stop the Pope

Chapter 1 – Prologue

It seemed like everything had gone to hell.

Not me, but Earth.

Boom!

Ugh!

“Oh dear.”

I looked at the wyvern crying out in front of me with a bitter smile.

Of course, wyverns, known as fake dragons, were not rare beasts. In fact, they were quite common.

They were infamous for heralding the dragon legion’s invasions, and I had slaughtered hundreds of thousands of them over the past decade.

But the problem was,

“Why is a wyvern flying around with the Mapo Bridge in the background?”

The river shimmered in the glow of the sunset.

And there stood the grand bridges built across it.

“Damn it.”

“Team Leader! Reinforcements are coming soon! Hold on a little longer!”

“Am I supposed to endure inside a wyvern’s stomach or what? Tell the reinforcements to hurry up, damn it!”

There were people fiercely fighting the wyverns, cursing in the dear Korean language I had missed.

And lastly, the sign written in clear Hangul rolling on the grass, saying ‘Yeouido Hangang Park’.

All the evidence around me confirmed that I was indeed at Yeouido Hangang Park.

And the bizarre metal structure that had become a nest for the wyverns at a distance was evidently the Mapo Bridge.

Confronted with such an utterly unnatural scene, an honest impression escaped my throat involuntarily.

“Oh dear, damn it.”

I had returned to Earth after ten years.

I gave it some thought, deciding that ten years is a long time and that the landscape could indeed have changed.

But wasn’t this a bit too much?

Does ten years mean the natural world becomes something out of another dimension, or something?

To be honest, it was strange and unnatural enough to be dismissed as a dream.

Too much had changed for it to be considered the Earth I remembered.

However, the cold wind brushing my cheeks and the metallic smell of blood lingering at the tip of my nose testified that this was undeniably reality.

While the Queen of Dreams could create dreams such as these, there was no chance that the scenes before my eyes were her creation.

My divine power within me ensured that I wouldn’t fall for such dreams, and besides, the Queen of Dreams…

“You ripped her head off with your own hands, didn’t you? Isn’t that right, my esteemed holy pope? How enticing it was to see you yank the head off that vulgar woman.”

“… Riemen?”

Indeed, I had personally made a mess of her.

I frowned slightly and turned slowly toward the voice I heard.

There stood a woman with silver hair looking at me with a smile.

Her name is Riemen.

In this chaotic and bizarre scene, Riemen stood radiantly.

Her beauty was almost beyond belief for a human, an expression that fit her impeccably.

“Siwoo. You’ve returned to your hometown, yet you don’t seem pleased. At this rate, there’s no point sending you back, is there?”

“Wasn’t our contract over once I returned to Earth?”

“How cold. Even though I’m once again the Goddess you served, shouldn’t you show me some respect and affection? Thanks to me, you were able to return to Earth safe and sound!”

She pouted as she slowly approached me.

Grinding my teeth, I replied to her,

“Wouldn’t I have avoided all troubles if you hadn’t dragged me to that damned world in the first place?”

“Maybe, but you would have definitely died had you remained on Earth.”

“And how are you so sure of that.”

“As much as our esteemed pope would know, I am a Goddess, aren’t I? Of course, I would know.”

She spoke thus and waved her hand lightly.

Whirr.

Immediately, everything before me stopped.

The wyverns, frenzied with the desire for flesh.

The people struggling desperately to fend them off.

Even the river that had been slowly flowing under the glow of the sunset came to a halt.

『Warning! The Main God of another dimension is forcefully interfering with the causality of 〈Dimension: Earth〉!』
『Powerful causality demands adherence to the natural order.』
『〈Error: Time Paradox〉 detected, your time is halted for 5 minutes.』

“Hmm, seems five minutes is the limit? The dimension’s causality appears to act strongly since a main event is underway. It’s a shame, considering it’s interference from a Main God of a dimension…”

Riemen smiled faintly, looking around as she continued speaking.

“Since time is short, I’ll get straight to the point. Are you willing to make another contract with me?”

“Contract?”

“Yes! Unlike ten years ago, this time, you can choose freely. If you don’t want it, you don’t have to make it! But personally, I do hope you’ll agree… Do you refuse?”

She looked at me cautiously.

After all, she knew well how much she had tormented me over the word ‘contract’ during the past decade.

Not only had Riemen abducted an ordinary young man from Earth, but she also exploited him unjustly for ten years.

The ordinary young man who hadn’t known how to pull weeds had grown to pull out the hearts of dragons and the seven great demon kings like they were weeds.

In hindsight, it truly was a hellish decade.

My plan was to return to a peaceful Earth and reclaim a happy daily life, but…

Clearly, that was no longer possible.

How could one take a peaceful stroll on Earth with wyverns romping about?

“Tell me about it.”

I sighed deeply and nodded.

Riemen then beamed with a bright smile and said,

“Really? Honestly, I was worried about how you’d cope with all this! I was extremely concerned that the drastic change in your hometown might shock you into a frenzy.”

“In this day and age, with experiences in another world, monsters appearing on Earth is just… surprising, but it’s not that shocking.”

Unrealistic?

My very existence had become a symbol of the unreal.

At my calm response, Riemen nodded in agreement, then spoke to me with an innocent face.

“If you contract with me, I’ll help you replicate the divine power you used in the other world here. Although you’ll have some conditions since no one here believes in me …”

“Wait a moment.”

“Hmm?”

“Didn’t the divine power transfer during the dimensional move?”

“Oh, dimensional travel isn’t that simple. It requires harmonizing between dimensions and considering causality… Naturally, one would lose power, wouldn’t one? Ah! 3 minutes left.”

“What if I say I won’t make the contract?”

At my tentative question, Riemen replied with a dejected expression.

“Your divine power will dissipate, and you’ll never see me again. But don’t worry. Even without my divine power, I’m sure you’ll grow quickly again. Although I had no choice back then, this time I’m leaving the decision to you. I feel sorry too.”

Do I have to contract again to maintain my power?

But this time, she’s providing me with an option?

How absurd. This genuinely left no room for contemplation.

“Crazy.”

“I knew it; there’s no way you’d want to contract with me agai—”

“No, I’m going crazy.”

“… What?”

“Why aren’t we sealing the contract immediately!”

“Really? Should we seal it right away?”

With Earth gone to hell, driving me insane, do you expect me to start from scratch once again?

I refuse.

I do not wish to be the protagonist of a worn-out cliché.

Really, truly, even till death.

***

“Siwoo?”

“Yes.”

“The contract is complete. You can now use divine power on Earth.”

Simultaneously, a golden message window appeared before me.

『The contract with the Constellation has been concluded.』
『The Main God of 〈Dimension: Eden〉, 〈Riemen〉, sponsors human 〈Kim Siwoo〉!』
『Due to contracting with a different dimension’s god, the causality of 〈Dimension: Earth〉 will verify the legitimacy of this contract. Please wait a moment.』
『5… 4… 3… 2… 1』
『Verification result: No issues.』

I gazed at the message and subtly questioned Riemen.

“Has the system crossed over too?”

This message window was the very special function along with Riemen’s sponsorship that had rapidly advanced me in Eden.

Known as the system.

It quantified my growth, aiding my adaptation to Eden.

Despite asking Riemen several times about the origin of this functionality, she had never answered me.

But having the system along gives a sense of assurance…

“Oh! That? It didn’t cross over, but it actually went from Earth to Eden. This feature was designed for Earth’s main event. I just sneakily borrowed it while bringing you to Eden!”

“… It actually originated from Earth?”

“I’m sorry, Siwoo. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t due to restrictions in Eden.”

So the special function I thought was exclusive, the system, originated from Earth… is that what it means?

I couldn’t grasp what was happening at all.

But it seemed that Riemen couldn’t give a detailed explanation to me this time either.

『Time will resume in 1 minute.』

“Unfortunately, I can’t stay with you here long since I don’t have a foundation in this world yet. There might be plenty you wish to ask me, but that’ll be for later. There’s something Siwoo must do right now.”

Riemen grasped my hand tightly as she spoke.

Then, with tears welling up, she continued speaking desperately,

“Though we’ve managed the divine power issue through the contract, the fundamental problem remains unsolved. It might disappear eventually.”

“With limited time, go straight to the solution.”

“Divine power is based on the faith of others, and it will dissipate without it. Thus, for Siwoo to maintain his power, he needs to create believers of me on Earth! Simple, right? You were the pope!”

“You want me to become a cult leader?”

“Whatever that means, just create a lot of followers for me. That’ll do! Got it?”

Whirr.

Riemen’s figure began to blur slightly.

Amidst the fading light, Riemen called out to me with earnestness,

“We’ll meet again soon! Don’t cry as if I’m not here, okay? Alright? Our pope…”

With that tragic plea came the end.

『Time resumes.』

The halted time began to flow once more, and I laughed ruefully as I looked at the newly appearing message.

『A quest has started!』
『Create a religious order』

Type: Main

Description: There is a lack of believers worshipping your god in this world. To maintain your power, establish a religious order and expand your influence. There are no restrictions on methods, and this system will automatically tally the number of believers in connection with the dimension’s main event.

Completion Conditions: Number of believers 1/10,000

*Warning! This quest has a time limit of 90 days. If you fail to meet the completion conditions within the time frame, everything you possess will be reset!

I couldn’t suppress a laugh as I stared at the message.

“Haha.”

… It seemed like everything had gone to hell.

“Damn it.”

This time, it was me.