Surviving As An Obsessive Servant

“…Wait a minute. What did you just say?”I blankly asked again, feeling like I missed something shocking in the brief moment I let my guard down.At that moment, the young master was lowering only his right arm, still seated as if he were about to pick up the spoon.Soon, his white, slender fingers touched the silver utensil, drawing my attention.But unlike before, his fingers bent very slowly. It took some time before the spoon rested on the white tablecloth.Watching this scene, my heart pounded ominously.He can’t use his hand.That phrase echoed loudly in my head.“It’s nothing serious.”But in my ears, burning with anxiety, the young master’s calm reply sounded different.Normally, it was a voice calm enough to make me think, ‘Ah. I see.’ It had the tone of someone commenting on how nice the weather was today.Just from the sound of his voice, everything seemed fine.However, my instincts told me that something was definitely wrong.His green eyes were still beautifully curved, but there was a faint tension I couldn’t quite grasp.No matter how long it had been since I last saw him… wasn’t I the one who used to be closest to him, reading every little emotion?So, there was no way I wouldn’t notice this visible change.Before I knew it, my anxiety solidified into certainty.But maybe my own nervousness was showing on my face, because the young master tried to soothe me instead.“Lobel, I said you don’t have to worry.”“I… I can’t not worry. You said you can’t use your hand. Why did this happen?”For the first time since he returned, I asked him in a pressing tone, my frustration bubbling over.If I didn’t get an answer, I was ready to go find Rimson or the aides immediately.Perhaps sensing my stubborn resolve, the young master lowered his gaze with a troubled expression.“……”I sighed inwardly.Judging by the slowing of his breath, I became even more certain—he was lying.Back in the day, when the young master would pretend to be asleep under the covers, I’d hear this exact kind of breathing.I had hoped that when he returned, much of his old self would still remain.But I never wanted to find out like this.I forced strength into my tightening throat.“Please, tell me the truth.”“The truth is… my hand is becoming paralyzed due to the aftereffects of poison. I’m losing strength, and sometimes, like now, I can’t use it properly.”“…No way.”As his words ended, I instinctively wanted to deny this bleak situation.Even I could hear the desperation in my own voice.Then, the young master’s lips subtly trembled. He looked like someone moved, even amidst deep sadness.“Yeah… it’s come to this.”Is this how a condemned prisoner feels?In just that brief moment, it felt like my heart sank to the floor.“But, don’t worry, Lobel.”…No. How am I not supposed to worry when you can’t even use your hand!!!!Food wasn’t the problem right now.Before I even realized it, I rushed to his side just like I used to in the past.I gently took his right hand, the one that had dropped the spoon, into both of mine to examine it.“Let me, let me take a closer look.”Then, I realized I’d made a mistake.‘Ah… I should’ve brought the glasses Manellano gave me.’Yesterday, the young master didn’t seem to be in a good mood, so I left the glasses and watch in my room today. I didn’t expect to need them like this.But in the meantime, his condition had worsened.Even though I carefully lifted his hand as if handling fragile glass, he momentarily held his breath from the pain.The reputation of him defeating countless enemies and leading seasoned knights seemed meaningless—he was stiff with tension.His long neck and broad shoulders were rigid. It was completely different from when he met with the emperor.Come to think of it… when I noticed how his hand looked different yesterday, his breathing had also grown slightly heavier.‘Could that have been from pain…?’My expression twisted further. Just how much pain would someone have to be in to stiffen up like this…?“I’m sorry. This must hurt…”I quickly apologized and tried to release his hand. But at that moment, he grabbed my wrist with his left hand.Before I could even wonder why, I felt relieved.Thankfully, it seemed only one hand was affected—the grip on my wrist was no joke. Even in that brief moment, I felt like it would leave a red mark.Looking at me, the young master slowly loosened his grip and gave me a somber expression.“It doesn’t hurt. I was just a bit surprised. So, don’t pull away and take a proper look, will you?”Judging by how he was saying this, he must’ve been worried about it himself.Biting my lip in frustration, I carefully examined his right hand again. It was rough from years of training and battle, but outwardly, it looked fine.‘Since the symptoms don’t show constantly, it seems to be intermittent paralysis in just one hand…’But that didn’t mean I could relax.We needed to detoxify the remaining poison in his body as soon as possible and treat the affected area.I tried not to lose hope.If I, who had read the original work and deciphered countless tablets, could help even a little…“It’s just this one hand that’s hurt, right?”“Mm, yeah.”“What about the doctor? What did the doctor say??”“They said they don’t know. The poison from the barbarians is hard to neutralize with regular methods… And even Dip’s power doesn’t seem to work on this.”“If even Dip’s power can’t fix it, then this is really serious… Does the duke know??”“Mm, yeah.”…That bastard duke.So it’s fine as long as his curse is lifted?As my face hardened, the young master comforted me over and over, saying it was alright.“There’s no need to worry.”I felt unjust on his behalf.When he was young, he couldn’t use his legs. Then, as soon as his legs healed, he was dragged to that dangerous place… After suffering for ten years, he finally came back, and now he can’t even freely use one of his hands…And yet, the young master, who now couldn’t even eat properly on his own, was more worried about me than himself.“There were a few crises in battle, but I made it through safely. I’m really fine.”My heart ached, and anger I couldn’t suppress boiled over.This time, I was angry at myself.I felt pathetic for not knowing how much pain he’d been in.‘If I had known, I would’ve done something, found some herbs before he came back…’But the reality was, I hadn’t helped at all, and even thinking like this felt like an insult to him.Consumed by guilt, my arms slowly lowered while still holding his hand.At that, a flicker of confusion crossed the young master’s eyes.He quickly spoke.“It doesn’t hurt at all.”“In this state… how could it not hurt?”“It really doesn’t hurt. I’m telling the truth, Lobel. Don’t worry too much.”“You shouldn’t be saying that. How could I not worry in this situation, huh?”Even without looking in a mirror, I knew my face must’ve been utterly grim.But in contrast to my evident concern, the young master’s face brightened like spring sunshine, as if touched by my sincerity.It was the first time he looked this happy since returning.That fact made me even more depressed.‘Calm down… calm down.’I tried to cool my heated thoughts.The young master, who was the one in pain, was trying to comfort me like this—I couldn’t just run my mouth and be of no real help.‘If we can lift the first emperor’s curse, there must be a way.’I needed to research and find detoxifying herbs for barbarian poison.As I quickly formed a plan in my mind, a voice as gentle as a lamb reached me.“More importantly, Lobel. There’s somewhere I need to go soon… Could you come with me?”  ****   All this time, I had firmly insisted to everyone that I wanted to personally tell the young master that I was quitting.Wayne and the others had nodded, though with troubled expressions, and it seemed they all kept their promise.Judging by how the young master, completely unaware, asked me a few days later to accompany him on an outing.[I’m leaving the Denkart family. It’s a personal matter of great importance… I need you to come with me.]I was a little puzzled when I heard the young master’s words.Wayne’s earlier comment came to mind—how the young master had postponed all engagements, including summons from the royal family, saying he needed to rest from travel fatigue.‘Is there something so important he can’t even tell Wayne, his butler…?’ I wondered, but quickly accepted it.The young master had only exchanged brief messages with Denkart through carrier pigeons, so he wouldn’t have been able to share everything. Maybe something he’d wanted to do just came to mind after returning last night before bed.Also, the young master had carefully asked if I could personally attend to him alone for a while.At that moment, I noticed a slight tension in him, as if he was worried I might refuse. So I understood his intentions.If the other attendants saw him unable to even hold a spoon properly, and that information spread outside… that could cause problems.And I felt the same way.[Of course.]At least until I found some clue about the poison, I wanted to keep the young master’s weakness hidden.After all the hardships he’d endured, if word got out that his hand trembled like withdrawal symptoms, it would do no good.No matter how I thought about it, there was no better option than me.If only Rimson had time, that would’ve been great too, but he was incredibly busy preparing for his wedding with Tilly.So I went straight to Wayne and told him I’d continue working for a while longer.Since I was changing my decision, I thought he might get angry, so I sincerely apologized, but instead, he deeply sighed in relief and thanked me several times.And that rumor spread quickly through the mansion in less than half a day.“Love makes you crazy. Just like that fool Lobel.”