Surviving as Guan Yu in the Three Kingdoms

The marketplace, which had been peaceful until just now, became chaotic as if a fire had broken out.

“It’s the Yellow Turbans! Everyone, pack up your shops and run away!”

Merchants hurriedly began to repack their goods into bundles or load them onto carts, preparing to flee.

Those who had finished packing rushed out of the place as fast as they could.

“Damn it, why do they come at a time like this! It’s almost harvest time!”

Even those who weren’t merchants started to run away for their lives.

Amidst this chaotic situation, Liu Bei stood up, leaving her mats on the ground.

Seeing that she wasn’t trying to escape, nearby merchants urged Liu Bei.

“Sister Liu Bei, let’s run away quickly now. If they catch us, we’re all dead!”

Liu Bei scoffed at those words and shrugged her shoulders.

“How will you make a living after you escape from here and survive?”

The man who heard those words froze on the spot.

“Isn’t staying alive the priority?”
“You know that the Yellow Turbans are like a swarm of locusts, right? Once they come and go, they sweep away everything without leaving anything behind – houses, property, fields.”

The Yellow Turbans of this era are like a great fire.

Like a fire that burns everything in its path, they are trash that plunders everything in their route – people, animals, property, fields, without discrimination.

Although it’s not a natural disaster, its damage can be compared to that of a great earthquake or tsunami.

“If you run away now, you might be able to save a little bit of property and your family’s lives. But what will you do after that? Do you think other villages nearby will accept you?”

As Liu Bei spoke sharply, others around stopped packing their belongings and stood still.

Until just now, they might have thought they could live well somehow if they just ran away, but now that they’re told the reality is still a gutter even if they escape, they must feel extremely desperate.

“We know they won’t accept us! Those government soldiers will live well, eating while sucking the marrow from people like us, just like the corrupt officials.”

Some people, realizing that there was no answer even if they ran away, started to shed tears despite being grown men.

“But what good will it do if common folk like us band together? Sister, unlike us, those Yellow Turban bastards are monsters who have slaughtered many people, right? How can we win?”

When everyone was falling into despair, Liu Bei shook her head.

“Those guys have killed people, but they’re no different from beasts. They’re stupid wild boars who only know how to kill people and plunder.”

Looking at how Liu Bei suppressed the Yellow Turbans in the Three Kingdoms, if you just beheaded the enemy general, an army of over 50,000 would be completely routed and flee in all directions.

If it had been government troops or another unit, someone would have immediately taken over command and regrouped the unit.

The fact that this didn’t happen at all and was repeated several times, and that the very reason for the unit’s existence was only in war crimes such as looting and rape…

As Liu Bei said, we can consider them no different from a herd of wild boars.

“What we’re dealing with is not an army, but a herd of wild boars.”

As I emphasized that our opponents are not humans but wild boars with brains worse than rocks, a glimmer of hope appeared in the eyes of everyone around.

Some people stopped their fuss about having to run away and started to whisper.

“Come to think of it, aren’t the Yellow Turbans just a mob with spears and swords?”
“Those bastards are ultimately commoners like us.”
“They’re just cult members chanting nonsense like ‘The Blue Sky is dead, the Yellow Sky will soon rise.'”

As this mood gradually spread, the atmosphere began to shift towards thinking it might be worth a try.

Liu Bei looked at me and puffed out her chest.

It seems she wanted to appeal with confidence that this Liu Xuande you said you’d serve is such a promising figure, and that you’ll never regret it…

Is it because Liu Bei is a woman and I’m a man?

Rather than feeling proud to be serving Liu Bei, I only thought that her pocket of virtue was quite large.

“Uncle Zhang over there.”

At those words, a man wearing cheap military uniform like those worn by government soldiers turned to look at Liu Bei.

“How many of those Yellow Turban bastards are there, and where are they now?”
“According to what the scout said about two hours ago, they just passed Shangnao Village. The number seems to be about a thousand, sister.”

If it were a thousand government soldiers, honestly, even I would think there’s no hope, but if it’s the weakest Yellow Turbans from the Three Kingdoms, it seems we could definitely give it a try.

“Is that so? If we gather just the men here in Xu County, there should be about 500, so it’s worth a try. Everyone, bring weapons, or if you don’t have any, bring something like a hoe. We can’t just sit here doing nothing just because the government soldiers who only suck our marrow have run away, can we?”

After making them face reality, immediately planting hope that they could do it seemed to have an effect.

The men of Xu County stopped packing their belongings and all shouted in unison.

“Let’s give it a try!”
“We’ll kill every last one of those Yellow Turban bastards!”

Seeing them, Liu Bei left the mats she was selling and said.

“Let’s protect our families and our land with our own hands. Don’t leave it to those unreliable government soldiers.”

And so, as soon as I met Liu Bei, I immediately participated in the suppression of the Yellow Turbans.

Things unfolded a bit differently than I expected, but it’s not bad.

**

Upon arriving near Shangno Village, Liu Bei immediately began to explain the strategy.

“Now, let’s start the strategy meeting. First, Uncle Hude will lead 100 men to this ravine…”

In the midst of this, a young girl suddenly burst in.

“I’m sorry, Elder Sister Xuande, I was out hunting wild boars and heard the news late, so I came running in a hurry.”

A spear with a snake-like curved blade, short brown hair and brown eyes.

A chest slightly smaller than Liu Bei’s and an appearance that exuded liveliness.

As I was looking for a moment, the brown-haired girl got angry at me.

“Who are you, and what are you doing?”

Liu Bei lightly hit the girl’s head.

“This person here is Guan Yu, courtesy name Yunchang. He said he came from Yingchuan to serve me after hearing rumors of my virtue. Greet him first.”

The girl looked at me with a sullen gaze and said.

“My name is Zhang Fei, courtesy name Yide. I don’t know who you are, but if you try to lay a hand on our sister…”

Zhang Fei made a gesture of cutting her throat with her thumb.

“I’ll cut off your head with my spear.”

The name and courtesy name match, and she’s devotedly serving Liu Bei, plus that fiery temper – there’s no doubt.

That girl must be Zhang Fei.

“That won’t happen. How could a man of honor harbor lustful thoughts towards his lord?”

To be honest, Liu Bei’s face and body are so erotic that she could be called a walking porn…

But how could I lay hands on the person I serve?

This time, Liu Bei hit Zhang Fei’s head quite hard.

“Yide, Lord Guan turned down a salary of 400 shi to come serve me. You shouldn’t speak so recklessly.”

Zhang Fei looked like she had a lot to say, but Liu Bei ignored her and continued speaking.

“Uncle Hude, lead 100 men and pretend to be a merchant caravan in front to lure the Yellow Turbans. As soon as you encounter them, flee with empty carts loaded only with boxes.”

At those words, an uncle with sparse white hair nodded.

“Got it.”
“And the remaining 400 will stay a bit away from here, and when Uncle Hude lures the Yellow Turbans, we’ll ambush them from both sides at once.”

The strategy is extremely simple.

However, since the Yellow Turbans are like a herd of beasts in heat, completely blinded by plunder, they’ll probably chase after what looks to them like a caravan loaded with all sorts of precious goods, their eyes blinded.

But this alone seems a bit insufficient…

“Do you have any other ideas?”
“Your strategy is good, Lord Xuande, but I’d like to add one more thing.”
“What would you like to add?”
“No matter how blinded the Yellow Turbans are, they won’t just chase after a caravan filled with empty boxes to plunder. So how about intentionally dropping things like sacks of rice or clothes while going? That would seem more natural.”

Even a lizard will cut off its tail and run away if it thinks it’s about to be caught.

So we should drop something while going too, to make it natural.

“The Yellow Turbans are hungry and poor mobs, and they’re not properly disciplined, so they’ll go crazy and chase after us when they see the goods we drop. Moreover, internal strife might break out, with them fighting among themselves to get even one more sack of rice.”
“As Lord Guan says, they certainly can’t resist anything that could make money. If we do well, we might even make them fight among themselves before the real battle begins.”

For the poor Yellow Turbans, a sack of rice would be like a large sum of money.

So when they see a large sum, their eyes will all go wild.

Zhang Fei also smiled and agreed.

“Yunchang, was it? You’ve got quite a sharp mind, huh?”
“Thank you.”

Others seemed to agree with my words too, all nodding their heads.

“What’s a few sacks of rice if we can protect our property from those Yellow Turban bastards?”
“We need to scatter that much for them to take the bait.”

When everyone agreed to the plan, Liu Bei asked.

“Then what will you do, Lord Guan? Will you join Yide and me on the flank…?”

The place where I can shine the most would probably be… the front line where I face the enemy head-on.

“I’ll stand at the front with Uncle Hude.”
“Alright. I wish you good fortune in battle, Lord Guan.”

And half a day later, more than a thousand Yellow Turbans came into our sight.