Taming the Obsessive Attachment

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

Acceptance.

The renowned 20th-century psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, classified the psychological stages leading to death into these five phases in her book On Death and Dying.

The situation was different, but Kwon Jae-jin’s psychological state in the first timeline followed the same pattern.

He denied it, raged, bargained, fell into despair, and eventually accepted it.

If you’re wondering what this grandiose introduction is leading to…

Simply put, Kwon Jae-jin in the first timeline had a crazy lover.

The first-ever S-rank Esper. Seo Eui-woo. 24 years old.

Four years ago, Seo Eui-woo suddenly appeared before Jae-jin, who was then an unawakened ordinary civilian. Claiming that he had finally found his matching Guide, he abducted him on the spot.

“You’re the Guide that matches me. No wonder I couldn’t find you—you were stuck in a place like this all along.”

Kwon Jae-jin, an utterly average office worker living in General Residential Zone 6, a Guide?

No matter how much he denied it, said it was a mistake, or tried to convince Seo Eui-woo otherwise, the bastard refused to listen. Instead, he dragged Jae-jin to a special residential zone, where only Awakened individuals were allowed, locked him up in his 3,000-pyeong (approximately 10,000-square-meter) ultra-luxurious mansion, and forced him to Guide him.

Guiding, of course, required physical contact.

And among all methods, contact through the thin mucous membranes was the most efficient.

For that reason, Espers received a completely different kind of sex education from ordinary people from a young age and were taught a special concept of chastity.

To Kwon Jae-jin, like any other civilian, acts like kissing or sex were meaningful expressions of love meant to be shared with a romantic partner.

But to that fucking bastard Seo Eui-woo, it was nothing more than an efficient form of Guiding.

“It hurts, it hurts—ah, kuh! Hhng… stop…!”

Because of that uselessly big-dicked bastard, Jae-jin had an utterly horrifying first experience, bleeding from both holes at the same time.

Back then, he had felt such seething anger.

“My Guide… I finally found you. My… wait. What’s your name again?”

That bastard grinned at him, saying that for the first time, he could finally experience proper Guiding. That it was his first time, that his chest felt tight with emotion, that he was so happy.

The way his long, monolid eyes curved into a smile, how his youthful face radiated innocence—it was all so sickeningly revolting that Jae-jin could hardly stand it.

In the end, he couldn’t hold back and punched the bastard in the face. But Seo Eui-woo didn’t even flinch, as if a hit from an ordinary person meant nothing.

In fact, he even offered his face up willingly, flashing his teeth in a sharp grin, his expression drenched in a dark, unsettling madness—as if even getting punched counted as a form of Guiding to him.

Even now, the memory made Jae-jin’s skin crawl.

“I am not a Guide. Guiding should be impossible for me, and even if it somehow works, there must be some kind of mistake. Please return me to General Residential Zone 6.”

“Jae-jin, you’re a mutant.”

Afterward, when Jae-jin demanded to be sent home, saying that he had fulfilled his Guiding duties and had no reason to stay, Seo Eui-woo immediately shut him down.

Awakened individuals—Espers and Guides alike—belonged to the state. From birth, they were placed under strict governmental control and closely monitored.

And for someone like Kwon Jae-jin, an ordinary civilian who suddenly awakened abilities later in life?

He was categorized as an uncontrollable anomaly and a potential threat. Mutants like him were deemed too dangerous—and were immediately executed.

“I’ll let you go. So, do you want to leave and get shot dead? Or should I hide you and let you live as my exclusive Guide?”

Seo Eui-woo offered him a choice that wasn’t a choice at all.

In the end, Jae-jin had to make a compromise with reality and resigned himself to being Seo Eui-woo’s personal Guide, trapped in his home.

And so began three years of misery.

Looking back, Seo Eui-woo had become an overwhelming presence in Jae-jin’s life, to the point where he had no choice but to accept him to some extent.

Three years was a long time, after all.

At first, Jae-jin hated Seo Eui-woo with every fiber of his being. He fought tooth and nail to escape from the forced captivity he had unwillingly chosen. He rejected Seo Eui-woo whenever he demanded Guiding, to the point where they would explode into violent fights.

…Until the time when Seo Eui-woo was pushed to the brink of a rampage due to lack of Guiding, lost all sense of reason, and violated him for three days and nights straight.

…Until Jae-jin tried to kill him.

…Until he considered taking his own life.

But in the end, when he really thought about it—none of this was Seo Eui-woo’s fault.

It wasn’t Seo Eui-woo’s fault that Jae-jin was born a mutant and awakened as a Guide.

It wasn’t Seo Eui-woo’s fault that Jae-jin had no choice but to stay in his house—he was only trying to protect him from the state’s ruthless policies.

Even so, Jae-jin needed someone to blame.

And when the person he hated most was right in front of him, it was only natural that he would lash out, more than necessary.

Well… Anyway.

After countless screams, curses, tears, pleas, bloodshed, and suicide attempts…

After dramatic highs and lows, living together, witnessing each other’s growth, and just… existing side by side for so long…

…Damn it.

No matter how awkward it was, the two of them came to understand each other, if only a little.

Seo Eui-woo, born an Esper, lived with an inherent fear of losing control.

If an S-rank Esper like him rampaged, it would lead to an uncontainable catastrophe. People would die. Many people. Without question.

Because of this, he had been given far more extreme, rigorous mental conditioning than the average Esper since childhood—to instill fear in him, so that he would dread his own rampages.

From an ordinary person’s perspective, that wasn’t education. It was brainwashing.

For that reason, Seo Eui-woo desperately craved Guiding.

He had spent years at the edge of a cliff, unable to find a compatible Guide, clinging to life by substituting Guiding with artificial drugs. But that could only go so far.

He suffered from chronic side effects—constant headaches, fevers, dizziness, shortness of breath, insomnia, loss of appetite.

Then, in the middle of all that desperation, he had finally found someone who could Guide him properly.

So, of course, he snapped.

It was inevitable.

But Kwon Jae-jin was just an ordinary person.

He had grown up as a civilian, which meant he didn’t share Seo Eui-woo’s ease with physical contact.

To him, touching someone he didn’t like, being forced to rub against them, was nothing but disgusting.

Determined, Jae-jin had tried everything to make Seo Eui-woo understand the civilian concept of chastity.

He desperately explained that kissing and sex were acts meant for lovers.

After a long, exhausting struggle, Seo Eui-woo finally got it.

And then.

Out of fucking nowhere.

That crazy bastard confessed to him.

“I understand now. I get why you’d feel uncomfortable with sex unless we’re lovers.”

“…So, if we become lovers, that issue is resolved, right?”

“Let’s date.”

What the actual fuck?!

Of course, Jae-jin thought he was joking and flat-out rejected him on the spot.

But that bastard Seo Eui-woo was relentless.

Eventually, Jae-jin reached the point where he was the one begging, promising to Guide him unconditionally as long as he would just stop asking him out.

But even after fucking him however he wanted, letting him suck on him however he pleased, and providing him with all the Guiding he could possibly need, that stubborn bastard wouldn’t budge.

For an entire year, he kept at it—saying he liked him, that Jae-jin was special to him, that he wanted them to be together.

And… well…

To be fair, Seo Eui-woo did have a pretty damn nice face.

There really was no other face in the world quite as perfectly balanced as his.

…Not that Jae-jin had started dating him because of his face or anything.

…Was it because of his face?

His face…?

Was it really just because of his fucking face?

…He didn’t fucking know.

Anyway. That’s how they ended up as a couple.

HAPPY END.

…If only that was where the story actually ended.

One bright afternoon, a Gate opened in their yard.

Kwon Jae-jin got caught in it and was ripped apart, limb by limb.

BAD END.

And that was the end of Kwon Jae-jin’s first life—before he returned to the past.

***

A dull headache slowly began to fade.

With a grimace, Jae-jin forced his eyes open and found himself staring at a familiar bedroom.

Seo Eui-woo’s 3,000-pyeong (10,000-square-meter) luxury mansion.

The walls on both sides were made of massive floor-to-ceiling glass panels, revealing the calm waves of the ocean at night beyond them. Even the ceiling was a transparent dome, making it look as if the countless twinkling stars were about to spill down onto the bed.

By the way, all that glass was special high-strength bulletproof material.

And how did Jae-jin know that?

Because he had personally shot at it once.

“Ah, you’re awake?”

Just then, a familiar face popped up between his legs.

Seo Eui-woo was undressing him from below.

Without hesitation, he unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants, and pulled down his tailored slacks to his knees.

Jae-jin said nothing.

He simply watched Seo Eui-woo’s face as he pulled his pants off, completely unfazed.

It was a face he had grown utterly sick of seeing over the past four years of his previous life.

Those distinct, thick, dark eyebrows were just as he remembered—so much so that he almost felt a strange sense of nostalgia.

The way his heavy eyelids drooped lazily, sinking deep into the hollows of his sharp eyes, was exactly the same.

Even those long, delicate eyelashes that used to tickle his cheek whenever Seo Eui-woo sucked on his tongue were just as he remembered.

But more than anything, what struck Jae-jin the most…

…was that familiar gray gaze staring back at him.

Seo Eui-woo’s gray eyes were a color that somehow held both warmth and coldness at once.

Sometimes, they looked so deep and gentle that he could drown in them.

Other times, they were twisted, fractured, radiating something unsettlingly deranged.

…Jae-jin suddenly remembered those moments.

Those moments when they would do nothing but stare at each other, swallowing down every unspoken emotion.