NOVEL ONLINE FREE 47
Kwon Jae-jin let out a hollow laugh as he watched Seo Eui-woo grow uncharacteristically cautious.
From the moment he had given Seo Eui-woo his eye—or no, from the moment he had given him his memories. Or maybe, long before that. Kwon Jae-jin had already fallen for Seo Eui-woo.
Now, he could no longer abandon their past together, nor could he abandon their future.
Seo Eui-woo was Kwon Jae-jin’s everyday life, his very existence.
At this point, really… what was there to hesitate over?
Why now, of all times, was he wavering? It was almost hurtful.
“…You know, truth is, I’ve never really trusted anyone before.”
Seo Eui-woo murmured calmly, a subtle, unreadable smile tugging at his lips.
The expression on his face was new. Once again, Kwon Jae-jin found himself looking at a side of Seo Eui-woo he had never seen before. For some reason, it felt like he was getting closer to Seo Eui-woo’s true self.
“As you know, Jae-jin, I had to survive by spinning perfect lies ever since my days as a trainee. So, I do want to trust you… but it’s not as easy as it sounds.”
“I… see. You mean, you’ve had to act like nothing was wrong, pretend you were fine, ever since you were young.”
“That’s right.”
“And now, you’re still struggling with that? Trying to deceive me by acting like nothing’s wrong, like you’re perfectly fine? Why are you wasting your time with such useless thoughts? Enough. Just say it.”
“……”
“I trust you, Seo Eui-woo. And I want you to trust me just as much. So just say it. No matter what you tell me, honestly, it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“…Jae-jin, do you really… want that?”
Kwon Jae-jin gave a firm nod.
Seo Eui-woo pressed again.
“No, not just a nod like that. Answer me properly. Think carefully.”
“…Huh? What?”
“If I trust you, Jae-jin… If I believe you and tell you everything honestly, will it really be okay? Will everything truly be fine?”
“I’ve been saying that from the start, haven’t I?”
“Are you sure? Completely certain?”
“Well, I am, but why do you keep—”
Seo Eui-woo, locking eyes with Kwon Jae-jin, slowly closed the distance between them. His silent approach cast a shadow over Jae-jin, enveloping him. Thick, solid arms, hard as marble, seized him tightly.
There was no way out.
“Jae-jin.”
“Yes.”
“There’s a hole in your head.”
“…What?”
Seo Eui-woo pressed his forehead against Jae-jin’s.
Then, with a rough inhale, he whispered monotonously,
“A deep, black pit has been carved into you. It’s large—perfectly clean, as if something was ripped out completely.”
His voice sounded both chillingly cold and achingly sorrowful.
“Jae-jin… Your memories have already been erased.”
“……”
“It was probably me. The me you first met before your regression.”
“……”
Kwon Jae-jin went rigid, frozen like a statue.
Even the act of breathing seemed to slip from his mind as his consciousness began to drift away from reality.
Seo Eui-woo’s voice, murmuring right next to him, felt distant, like an echo from another world. It was as if he had been plunged underwater—he could hear the sounds, but they were muffled, distorted.
Nothing was making sense.
None of this felt real.
“I have a guess,” Seo Eui-woo continued. “I must have tried the same thing back then and failed. That thing you cling to, the thing you left behind in the Sixth Residential District… I erased it using my psychic abilities.”
“Already erased…? What kind of memory? What did I—?”
“For a hole that big to be left behind, it must have been someone who was deeply intertwined with your life. Since childhood, at that… Not a lover, no… Hmm. Maybe family.”
“……”
“Jae-jin, do you have family? Can you recall a face or a name?”
Seo Eui-woo wondered, why had the Seo Eui-woo of the first timeline wept so endlessly?
Crying, begging, clinging, pleading, kneeling.
Why?
Why had Seo Eui-woo, in the first timeline, sobbed and repented, telling Kwon Jae-jin how sorry he was, how much he regretted it?
Why?!
What sin had that Seo Eui-woo committed against Kwon Jae-jin to make him so utterly desperate…?
“Nothing.”
Kwon Jae-jin muttered blankly.
Even though he was sitting properly on the couch, his back straight and planted firmly, it felt like he was plummeting.
Where had he been standing until now? And where had he just fallen from?
“I don’t remember anything. Family… did I ever have something like that…?”
From the comfort of paradise, he was hurled straight into the flames of hell.
A catastrophe so absolute, there would be no escape. Not a second time.
“…I’m sorry.”
Seo Eui-woo exhaled a sigh as he offered his condolences. The words never even reached Kwon Jae-jin’s ears.
For a long time, Jae-jin remained frozen, rigid like a boulder.
His blood ran cold, his flesh stiffened, and he no longer felt like a living being. Like a corpse. An empty husk, devoid of a soul.
“…Ha.”
A dry laugh escaped Kwon Jae-jin’s lips.
The sound, faint at first, gradually grew louder.
“Haha… Ahaha! Hahahaha!”
With his shoulders trembling violently, Kwon Jae-jin burst into hysterical laughter, still locked in Seo Eui-woo’s embrace.
Like a man tied to a stake, burning alive in a raging fire.
A high, frenzied cackle, as if screaming in agony.
Seo Eui-woo. That crazy bastard. That fucking lunatic. That… fucking son of a bitch.
I was deceived. Completely.
I fell for it, beautifully.
***
All humans are born from the flesh and blood of others.
A connection bound by blood is called kinship, and among them, the closest are called family.
Family.
Parents. Siblings. …Family.
‘Why did I never doubt it? Not even once?’
Kwon Jae-jin wasn’t some being that fell from the sky or emerged from the earth. He was a human, born from another’s blood. And yet, how had he so completely forgotten his own roots?
As if they had been deliberately erased.
‘I must have had a family. Of course I did. That’s only natural. But the fact that I can’t remember their names, their faces—not even who they were… It’s ridiculous.’
He should have questioned it from the start. He should have been suspicious, should have dug deeper.
But he had been too consumed with dying in the gate, with returning, with reuniting with Seo Eui-woo. His mind had been so preoccupied that he never noticed the unnatural severing of this connection.
‘Am I a fucking idiot?’
He had thought about his company from time to time—had mused about the struggles of civilian life. He had even reminisced about his old home, about hopping from one rented room to another.
So how the hell had he managed to recall all those trivial details, yet never once spared a thought for something as important as his own family?
The answer was obvious.
Seo Eui-woo had erased them.
That Seo Eui-woo, in the first timeline, had carefully selected only the memories of Kwon Jae-jin’s family and wiped them away completely, as if they had never existed!
‘That fucking insane lunatic.’
Yeah. He had known from the start that Seo Eui-woo was a bastard.
He had known he was a reckless, unhinged maniac, utterly obsessed with guiding.
But no matter how deranged he was, this—this was beyond fucked up. This was some next-level, irredeemable, scumbag piece-of-shit behavior.
‘Why did he hide it? When was he planning to tell me? Or… was he never planning to say anything at all? Is that why I never knew about psychokinesis users? Did that fucker intend to keep it all a secret and just lie to me forever?’
Ah… that son of a bitch. That lying, conniving bastard.
Who gave him the right?
Who the fuck gave him the right to tamper with my memories?!
Fuck!
Fucking hell!
Goddamn it!!
Seo Eui-woo had toyed with him.
Had deceived him. Betrayed him.
He had erased Kwon Jae-jin’s original life, leaving him with no choice but to live as Seo Eui-woo’s Guide. He had bound Jae-jin’s mind to him, leaving him with no option but to accept him.
There was nothing left in Jae-jin’s life but Seo Eui-woo.
So what else could he do but stay by his side?
He had forgotten his own blood. His mind knew nothing but Seo Eui-woo. His memories contained nothing but Seo Eui-woo.
What other choice had he ever had?
‘I don’t even know where my true feelings end and where the lies begin.’
Forgiving Seo Eui-woo, accepting his confession, deciding to be with him—when had it all gone wrong?
Where had it started unraveling?
‘Why did I even return? When I got caught in that gate, I should’ve just died. If I had, I never would have learned the truth. And I wouldn’t be this fucking miserable.’
Hate.
Hate.
And more fucking hate.
Seo Eui-woo—his lover, his partner, his… whatever.
Whatever they had been.
For four years…
How could he have done that to Kwon Jae-jin—for four whole years…?
‘I should’ve just died without regrets.’
He should have let himself get swept away and killed by the gate. Shouldn’t have tried to avoid that future.
He should have ignored it all, should have refused to guide Seo Eui-woo for the rest of his life, should have hated him endlessly.
He should never have let himself waver, should have remained on guard at all times, should have cut off any budding feelings of sympathy before they had the chance to take root.
No matter how hard Seo Eui-woo tried, no matter what he did, Jae-jin should never have let himself like him.
No matter how sweetly that bastard smiled, like a ripe peach, or wagged his tail like an eager puppy—he should have pushed him away, firm and unyielding. Should have never, ever let himself feel even the slightest affection.