Taming the Obsessive Attachment

The sound of water droplets falling into the bathtub echoed. Droplets of water clung to the ends of Jae-jin’s black hair, falling one by one into the water that filled the tub.

The clear, rhythmic white noise slowly brought Jae-jin back to his senses. He furrowed his hazy eyes a few times before finally managing to crack them open.

“Ugh…”

He had no idea how much time had passed. He had been completely unconscious, like a dead man.

As if repaying the debt of the sleepless weeks he had endured, his consciousness had utterly blacked out. He couldn’t even clearly remember what had happened right before he collapsed.

“Seo, Eui-woo…?”

Half-awake, Jae-jin slurred the name incoherently. He was still far from being fully aware, but for some reason, he was certain that Seo Eui-woo was nearby.

And sure enough, a response came from right next to him.

“Yes, Jae-jin.”

Seo Eui-woo was in the bathtub, holding Kwon Jae-jin tightly around the waist. As soon as Jae-jin stirred even slightly, Eui-woo immediately steadied him, locking him firmly in his embrace.

Jae-jin squinted his blurry eyes at him. Judging by the way Eui-woo’s pale skin had completely wrinkled from being soaked, it seemed he had been holding Jae-jin in the water for a very long time. Of course, it wasn’t just Eui-woo—Jae-jin’s own fingers were just as pruned and shriveled.

Just how long had they been like this?

Had Eui-woo decided to stay in the water with him to prevent the guiding effect from kicking in once they dried off? Jae-jin couldn’t make sense of his reasoning.

This crazy bastard…

“Haa… I told you… it’s fine to guide me…” Jae-jin murmured in a voice hoarse and weighed down with exhaustion. He was too drained to muster any strength.

“I haven’t heard your answer yet,” Eui-woo replied.

“What answer…?”

“Are we okay now?”

Okay?

Had there ever been a time when being with Seo Eui-woo made him feel okay?

“No…”

Jae-jin let out a sigh as he answered. Seo Eui-woo tightened his grip even more, holding Jae-jin so tightly it felt like he might crush him, then buried his lips against the nape of his neck.

“Then I won’t do it. The guiding.”

“Why are you so stubborn? Just let it go…”

There are things in this world that time will resolve. Seo Eui-woo didn’t understand that.

Right now, Jae-jin wasn’t in the right state of mind to handle Eui-woo’s intensity, but maybe, given time, things would settle on their own. Eventually. But Eui-woo had to have everything now, immediately, acting as if he were some ruler who had to seize and claim every part of Jae-jin as his own.

“How am I supposed to let it go when you won’t say anything?”

“What now, say what?”

“What you’re thinking. What else you’re hiding.”

A hollow laugh slipped from Jae-jin’s lips.

Seo Eui-woo, seriously…

“I’m not thinking about anything, and I’m not hiding anything…”

“Really?”

“Yeah…”

“I’ve told you a hundred times before, haven’t I? That I have no idea what’s going on in your head. It’d be nice if you’d stop keeping it all to yourself and talk to me.”

“You want me to trust you and open up to you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, wouldn’t I need something to talk about in the first place?”

Jae-jin twisted his head slightly, resting the back of it against Eui-woo’s shoulder. Maybe he had gotten too used to the way Eui-woo wrapped around him so tightly—because now, even this uncomfortable posture felt oddly stable.

“Then what are you thinking about right now?”

“That Seo Eui-woo is a real son of a bitch. That I want to kill Seo Eui-woo.”

“Yeah? Really?”

“No…”

“What was that, then?”

“I told you, I’m not thinking about anything…”

Had Jae-jin really been so hard to read that Eui-woo felt the need to question him like this, to cling so desperately?

He didn’t think so…

No, it was probably just that this kind of relationship was new to Seo Eui-woo. Up until now, he had never needed to care about what someone else was feeling. He had probably never even been curious about it before.

Jae-jin, exhausted, just let his lips move, saying whatever came to mind.

“I’m tired.”

“You look like it. You’ve lost weight, Jae-jin.”

“I’m sleepy.”

“You can sleep a little more.”

“My stomach… The inside feels sore. It still feels stretched open.”

“…”

“Seo Eui-woo…”

“Yeah…”

“Seo Eui-woo, you… You’re good-looking.”

“What?”

“If you were ugly, that would have been a serious problem. If you were, I really would’ve killed you.”

“Haha, is that supposed to be a compliment? That’s a relief, then.”

“No, seriously, it’s thanks to your face. Your body and face… Take good care of them.”

“Hm? Yeah, I will. Uh… huh?”

Awakeners lived lives centered on combat, where survival was the priority. Unlike ordinary people, they didn’t engage in dating or marriage like the general public. Compared to normal society, appearance was relatively less important in their world.

Because of that, Seo Eui-woo was an unassuming beauty—someone unaware of his own good looks, rarer than wild ginseng.

That part of him was kind of cute.

“And Seo Eui-woo, you’re… a good cook. You definitely have talent.”

“Really? You liked it? Even though you didn’t eat much.”

“Well, that’s… Whatever. Anyway, you should keep honing your skills. I think it’ll be good.”

“I will. But honestly, I had no idea you thought about things like this…”

“I’ll say it again—I don’t usually think about much. There’s nothing I’m hiding or keeping from you to the extent that it would make you this impatient.”

“No, but you did hide the fact that you regressed. And you didn’t say anything about… being able to take more in.”

“That… haah…”

Jae-jin was so dumbfounded that he was at a loss for words.

Since he had nothing to say, he simply shut his mouth. But the moment he did, Eui-woo lowered his gaze and started biting into the nape of Jae-jin’s neck, gnawing insistently.

“See? You’re not talking again. What were you just thinking about? Tell me.”

“No… Ha… Just… The fact that you consider those two things to be on the same level is so absurd to me that I don’t even know what to say. Anyway, there’s nothing I’m hiding. From you… I don’t think I even can hide anything anymore.”

Jae-jin let Eui-woo bite at his neck as much as he wanted, allowing him to leave red marks all over. Meanwhile, he merely shifted his gaze and quietly observed his face. Droplets of water clung to Eui-woo’s pale, refined features, dripping down in slow intervals.

His slightly curled, transparent black hair clung damply to his forehead and cheeks, catching Jae-jin’s attention. His ear, which had once been cut, had grown back perfectly, leaving no trace of injury behind.

Thick, straight eyebrows, deeply set eyelids, and fine, densely packed eyelashes… Beyond those damp lashes, the same gray irises Jae-jin had been looking into for years sat quietly in place.

Maybe because he had seen those eyes for so long—sometimes sharp, sometimes languid and unreadable—there were moments when Jae-jin felt as if Seo Eui-woo’s eyes belonged to him.

“……”

Jae-jin reached out and touched Eui-woo as he pleased. His fingertips brushed over the tense muscles of his forearm before trailing lightly along the hollow inside his collarbone. The shallow dip held a small pool of water, making his skin glisten.

He then traced down the line of his neck, feeling the firm, solid texture beneath his fingers. When he reached the spot where Eui-woo’s veins always bulged whenever he was aroused, Jae-jin pressed down firmly.

“Jae-jin, what are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

Of course, that wasn’t entirely true.

“Seo Eui-woo. You know…”

“Yes, Jae-jin?”

Ah… Right.

Maybe this was something that needed to be said.

Looking back, he had never really brought it up before.

“You completely broke me.”

Jae-jin murmured, his tone flat and devoid of emotion.

At his words, Eui-woo’s gray eyes hardened for a split second. Before he could say anything, Jae-jin continued.

“As you already know, I was once kidnapped by you, raped by you, and imprisoned by you. I was bound in handcuffs, gagged, and forcibly guided. There was a time when that was my reality.”

Keeping his gaze locked on those glossy gray irises, Jae-jin spoke with measured calm, laying everything bare.

“And yet, after time passed, I came to understand the situation. My misfortune, born from an abnormal manifestation. Your inherent, fundamental instincts as an Esper. The deeply rooted imbalance and the necessity of guiding… There were plenty of reasons to accept it, and with time, the conflict began to resolve itself. That alone was enough to utterly destroy who I once was. But even then, Seo Eui-woo, you didn’t stop there.”

If Eui-woo had read Jae-jin’s memories, he would have known all of this.

But just because he had seen the past didn’t mean he could understand what Jae-jin felt. Emotions couldn’t be known unless they were spoken.

“The fact that, four years later, you and I somehow ended up as lovers… No matter how much I think about it, it’s completely absurd. That, of all people, two men, us… Honestly, even now, it sounds ridiculous. Somewhere along the way, something must have gone wrong, because if we’re in a relationship, that means not only did I accept you, but I also developed feelings for you.”

Jae-jin had already given Seo Eui-woo far too much.

And yet, Eui-woo still didn’t fully grasp just how much that was.

“Over and over again—countless times—I’ve given in to you. You shattered me, broke me apart, and took everything you wanted. And now, I don’t even know what’s left for me to guard or hide from you anymore.”