TËSSÃ ãñd DARÆY: A Love Written with fire

DARÆY'S POV:

I had been oblivious. Completely out of the loop. Because if there was no Tessa, everything else was just... there. Background noise.

And I didn't care.

But after Justin told me everything that had been going on these past few weeks, I realized something—

You have to care about some things in order to relate to others.

I hated that realization.

I strode down to the club, scanning the crowd, hoping—no, knowing—Tessa would be there.

Then I saw it.

Justin's car.

Tessa getting into Justin's car.

Justin driving away with her.

My whole body stiffened.

I ran to the club entrance, grabbing the first guy I saw. "What the hell just happened?"

The guy barely blinked at my outburst. "Tessa came to apologize for hitting Justin. He offered to take her back to Yentown."

My hands curled into fists.

That was it? That was my chance to talk to her, and it just disappeared?

Gone? Just like that?

I clenched my jaw so hard it hurt.

Why Do I Even Care?

I turned on my heel, walking aimlessly, my thoughts spiraling out of control.

Why do I even care so much?

Why does it bother me that she left with him?

We had an argument, yeah, but that doesn't mean she had to run off with Justin. Why him?

In fact, why would she leave with anybody?

There are busses which take you to Yentown. It's not like she had no way back. Was it about transport fare? No, no—thinking that was just insulting her.

I exhaled sharply, running a hand through my hair.

This was driving me crazy.

I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I missed my way home.

Twice.

And when I finally got back, I threw my phone onto my bed, pacing in my room, trying to work through the frustration.

I grabbed my phone.

Opened our chat.

Typed something.

Deleted it.

Typed again.

Deleted it again.

Again. And again. And again.

What was I even supposed to say?

I wasn't jealous. That would be ridiculous. I just—

Shit.

I dropped my phone on my bed and sat down, exhaling.

The thoughts wouldn't stop.

The questions wouldn't stop.

The irritation wouldn't stop.

And then—

Bzzt.

I grabbed my phone.

A text. From her.

> Hey.

I stared at the screen.

My mind blanked.

My heart did something weird.

And suddenly… I had no idea what the hell to say.

She texted.

She actually texted me.

Oh my God.

What do I reply?

I started pacing, back and forth, my mind running in circles.

Should I ask her why Justin dropped her off?

Should I ask her why she got back with him so easily, but talking to me feels like pulling teeth?

Should I ask her why she's been distancing herself these past few days? Weeks?

Damn it. What do I say?

I wasn't trying to ignore her—I just didn't know what to text. And the longer I hesitated, the more I felt like I was messing up.

What if she got mad?

What if she thought I was playing games?

I exhaled sharply, gripping my phone like it held the answers.

Then, before I could overthink it more, I typed—

> Hey.

And hit send.

Why did I send that?

Out of all the things I could've said, I went with Hey?

I just wanted to keep the conversation going. I didn't want her to run away again.

Then her reply came.

> How's it been?

Oh.

That was such a Tessa way to start. Simple, direct.

But of course, it hasn't been fine. And for the first time, I felt like I should stop pretending.

If Tessa Can Say It, So Can I

Tessa is never afraid to say what she feels.

She thinks before she speaks, sure. She worries about how her words affect others. But when she's angry? Really angry?

She doesn't hold back.

She just says it.

And it hurts.

And all this while, I've been the one taking it. The heat, the punches, the sharp words that cut way deeper than she realizes. I've been swallowing it all, holding onto her for so long—

Maybe it's time I let go.

Maybe it's time I say everything.

She's always been straightforward.

She hates when people beat around the bush.

She tells you exactly what she thinks so you don't sit around overthinking.

Maybe for once, I should do what she does.

Maybe it's time I say exactly what's on my mind.

So I took a deep breath—

And I started typing.

> You finally remembered I'm alive.

I hit send.

She replied almost instantly.

> You never died, Daræy.

I scoffed. Of course, she'd say that.

> I think I did.

To you, I was just some dead guy that used to be your friend.

And the worst part is, you never even mourned me

I stared at the screen, waiting.

She took longer this time. Then finally—

> It's not like that.

I exhaled sharply, fingers moving fast.

> It's never like that, Tessa. You forgot about me And now you text back cause you're finally feeling like it.

Well let me tell you something.

I haven't been thinking about you for the past one week and four days.

It's been just all me.

And now you text me. What for?

I was angry, and I didn't want to let go.

She replied almost immediately.

> Okay. Daræy, the fact that you're texting me, counting the days, it means you've been thinking about me the whole time.

뭐라는 거야? (What are you talking about?) I taught Then I clenched my jaw.

> Are you having fun? I asked.

> Well, kind of. she answered.

That stung.

I stopped texting.

And then—

> It's not like I erased you from my mind.

I just couldn't find the courage in me to say how stupid I was.

I'm sorry.

I stared.

What?

Is she confessing her feelings to me?

Or am I just imagining things?

Before I could even process it, another text came.

> It's not like a love confession or anything.

It's just...

You were one of my closest friends.

And after the fight with Justin, I realized that you were something I should never have given up in the first place.

My stupid ego and pride came before me and...

I totally forgot what we shared was an understanding like no other.

And I didn't give you a chance.

I'm sorry.

And I... I don't know. I just didn't want to be or look like a fool in front of you.

I felt something tighten in my chest.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair before finally replying.

> 바보 같지 않았어.

(You didn't look like a fool, though.

I took a deep breath, my fingers hovering over my phone before finally typing:

> Look, we both made mistakes, and...

I was wrong for pushing into your family like that.

You didn't deserve that.

I should've asked you rather than digging like you were some kind of project or something.

I hesitated. My pride made it hard to say these words, but I meant them.

> I... I can't really say how sorry I am for that.

So, I promise I won't dig up on you anymore.

I'll act like a normal friend.

I swallowed, feeling the weight of my emotions press against my chest.

> And you need to promise me something too.

Promise you won't be getting angry at me so often.

Every time you get a chance, you cut ties with me.

And sometimes your words hurt.

I paused, running my hand through my hair.

> You think you're doing the right thing, but sometimes two people just need to talk things out.

And you didn't give me that chance.

I exhaled sharply, feeling the frustration rise again.

> I can't say I'm not upset about that.

But what upsets me more is the fact that you got back to Justin so easily.

And it took you almost two weeks to talk to me again.

I clenched my jaw.

> As a matter of fact, it took Justin's fight for you to remember that I existed.

I hit send and stared at my phone, my heart pounding.

Tessa took a long pause before typing again.

> Look, Justin's fight was something else. It did take Justin's fight to talk to you, but that doesn't mean it took Justin's fight for me to remember you. You've always been there, no matter how much I try to deny it. Half of what you said was right, and I was so scared of looking small in front of people that whenever someone looks down on me, I just run away, and I've never been able to hold back, to hold my ground, to stand. I've lost so many people due to this feeling and thinking, and Daræy, I'm sorry, but I don't want to lose you too. I thought of you before Justin's fight. I just didn't have enough courage to tell you how I felt. I only found the courage to tell you how I felt after I found the courage to apologize to Justin in front of those people.

She paused for awhile before finally typing again, this time in Korean.

> As a friend, I fucked up. I'm sorry. I hope you forgive me because this friend will be waiting until you text back.

친구로서, 내가 망쳤어. 미안해. 네가 나를 용서해주길 바래. 이 친구는 네가 답장할 때까지 기다릴 거야.

(Chinguroseo, naega mangchyeosseo. Mianhae. Nega nareul yongseohaejugil barae. I chingu-neun nega dapjanghal ttaekkaji gidaril geoya.)

took her about 30 second to type the next message

> Daræy, you know I'm not a social media person, so I guess when I see you on Monday, we'll talk more.

다래이, 나 소셜 미디어 잘 안 하잖아. 그러니까 월요일에 보면 더 얘기하자.

(Daraei, na sosyeol midieo jal an hajanha. Geureonikka woryoire bomyeon deo yaegihaja.)

She waited a few seconds, then sent her last message.

> Bye, Daræy.

잘 가, 다래이.

(Jal ga, Daraei.)

And that was it for the night.

For her of course but I stilled had something to say.