The Alternative Adventures of Vladimir Dracula

Vlad woke up with a new feeling enveloping him. Dread. Rather than going to school every weekday as he had done for the past few weeks, he was forced to start his vampire education early. Vlad shook his head and thought that perhaps today wouldn't be such a bad day. There had to be something cool he could do as a vampire even before the change. He knew Ingrid could hypnotise people although that seemed to be the extent of her abilities but she was older than him and closer to her transformation. Even if he could do it, it would be a miracle if he could pull it off on anyone. He trudged down the stairs and decided to eat a bowl of Count Chocula. Ever since his dad heard of the brand, he wouldn't buy anything else. He ate his cereal sitting down while looking at Renfield cleaning up a room for something, probably his 'lessons'. He sighed and finished his bowl of chocolatey goodness before seating himself in the room that Renfield had just cleaned which had a table with a few chairs and a blackboard with some chalk writing. It said in big white writing 'VAMPIRE TRAINING'. He waited for his dad looking down while tapping his feet on the floor. Count Dracula flitted into the room with another smaller blackboard and slid it toward Vlad.

"Your new timetable," said the Count. Vlad looked at it and just moaned. He had hoped that his dad would at least take pity on him and shorten the day but instead, he decided to finish at 4 pm rather than 3 pm like a regular school day.

"9 am fang hygiene followed by coffin maintenance," huffed Vlad

"And after lunch, hypnosis and flying," added the Count. Vlad just shook his head. At least this was for a day. He would kill himself if he had to do this for any longer than that. Being a vampire had benefits but maintaining a coffin was not very appealing to Vlad. There was a ring of the bell before Renfield scrambled to open it. You could hear bickering and squabbling before the visitors made it to our room while Renfield introduced them as the Branaghs. It was Robin's mum and dad with Robin. Robin sat beside him and smiled at him while his dad smiled at the two parents.

"Ah, welcome friends," said the Count. The two also greeted the Count and Robin's mum waved at Vlad who thought it impolite not to wave back.

"It's terrible, Vlad and Robin getting suspended," remarked the Welsh woman.

"Yes, I hate to think of all the lessons they are missing. I'm teaching Vlad myself. I don't mean to brag but I am an expert on most things in life," explained Vlad's father. Vlad rolled his eyes. The last time the Count was an expert on the school curriculum was when the wheel was a new invention.

"Could you teach Robin as well? He's doing badly enough as it is," worried Mrs Branagh

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Mum," mumbled Robin. Vlad chuckled knowing that his friend had a very different idea of what school was for. In fact, his dad would probably be pleased with Robin's antics at school.

"I don't know. These boys are proving to be a bad influence on each other," said Robin's dad.

"A bad influence you say. Leave him with me. I'll see what I can do," smirked the Count. Vlad leaned back in his chair and smiled. Perhaps today wouldn't be so bad after all.

Jonathan took a deep breath as he approached the seemingly happy girl who decided to carve letters into a table with a knife of sorts. It also didn't help that he found her the most beautiful, charming enchantress of a woman he had ever met. He took another deep breath to calm his nerves after all he could be saving lives here.

"Hey, Ingrid. Sorry to hear about Vlad," Jonathan began. Ingrid looked up and saw a scrawny boy with swarthy skin and looked back down.

"What do you want exactly?" asked Ingrid while still carving 'I HATE SCHOOL' into the library table. Jonathan wondered why the librarian hadn't stopped but then thought about the knife in her hand.

"I heard there was a really good film at the cinema. You should go and see it and get out the castle. All of you. The whole family," urged Jonathan. Ingrid looked at him mockingly.

"Is this your extremely lame way of asking me on a date," jeered Ingrid. Jonathan looked at her surprised. How could think he would want her whole family on a date?

"No I'm just trying to help," assured Jonathan.

"Alright, I'll bite. What film is this?" inquired Ingrid. Jonathan opened his mouth and then closed it. He hadn't thought this far yet. What film was out in cinemas?

"Harry Potter," said Jonathan slowly. The safe answer. Jonathan knew that one of the cinemas loves playing Harry Potter and everyone likes Harry Potter right?

"What is Harry Potter?" wondered Ingrid. Jonathan looked at her in the eye and almost gasped. Everyone in Stokely knew Harry Potter. Even Robin liked it and he usually can't watch anything without sharp fangs and a cape being in it. He smiled. Maybe he could make this a good thing for him. She did say something about a date. Maybe he could take her on one without her family. I mean what was his dad really going to do? Throw some garlic. Vlad could handle it. He looked at her one more time and smiled. Today was shaping up to be a good day.

Vlad was having a good day. Coffin Maintenance turned into a scuffle with Robin and his dad just groaning. While Fang Hygiene just became a toothpaste fight which also became a cleaning lesson. All in all, it was a good day.

"Here you go Vlad, Robin. A special lunch for you two," smiled the Count. Vlad looked at his dad and was immediately suspicious. His dad never made breather food and barely even let them have outside food for lunch so what was special about this one? While Robin was raving about how posh it looked, Vlad lifted the lid to look at its contents.

"Wow, special indeed," replied Vlad sardonically. It was garlic. Pieces of garlic for their vampire training. Vlad should've known his dad wouldn't give them a break.

"Bon Appetit. Garlic, deadly to adult vampires but relatively harmless to you at your age. Does give you some bad breath apparently. Read it on the inter-web," said the Count. Vlad winced. Whenever his dad finds something new about breather culture he pretends as if he was an expert on it.

"The internet Dad. I'll have one but that is it," said Vlad. He looked at Robin enjoying his one and just shook his head. He placed it in his mouth and chewed. It wasn't that bad but it wasn't like it was the great taste that Robin was tasting. He was more like his brothers than he knew. Vlad saw his dad wipe the board and write "HYPNOSIS". His dad began teaching the theory behind it which was boring so he tuned out for a while thinking of more important things like when he was going to get a decent meal. His daydreaming sequence was broken when his dad called him for some hands-on experience.

"Remember Vlad, the key to hypnotizing your victim is to look deep into their eyes," advised his dad. He looked at Robin and attempted to glare a hole into his friend but nothing was working. Robin seemed unfazed.

"Look I'll show how it's done. Look at me, Vlad. You make eye contact and then you draw them freezing them in your gaze like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Then before you know it they're..." said the Count. Unbeknownst to Vlad but just as the Count ended his speech, Vlad's eyes began to glow a gold-yellow colour.

"Then what dad?" asked Vlad. He looked around the room to see if his dad saw anything but nothing. "Dad?" said Vlad once more. This was scary. Why did his dad look like he was frozen in time?

"You must have hypnotised him. There's no other reason Vlad," added Robin. Vlad dismissed the idea before considering it. He beckoned for Robin to touch his dad's face because he was not risking his fingers being bitten off. "Look I am Count Draculalalalalalalaaaa," sang Robin before Vlad waved his hand at him laughing. Vlad had a thought, a wild thought but one that had some merit.

"What is the one thing my dad would hate most," Vlad asked Robin. Robin just shrugged and said he didn't know. Vlad smiled and continued, "He would hate being a breather. Now making my dad act like a cheery, happy dad would be quite evil, don't you think?" Robin looked at him with a wide open mouth.

"You're an evil genius, Vlad. Now your dad will get off your back about school," answered Robin. Vlad just smiled. Robin looked a bit conflicted though and said, "How long are you going to do this for? I mean if your dad decides to take a walk in the sun and you're not there." Vlad nodded and thought about it before looking at his dad and taking a deep breath.

"Dad, you are no longer a vampire but a breather who is a normal father and happy but also has a severe sun allergy so do not go outside or open any windows," Vlad told his dad before snapping his fingers. The Count looked around the room with a finger-wagging.

"You know this place is quite gloomy. It needs a bit of paint to brighten things up. I'm thinking sunflower yellow. What do you reckon?" asked the Count before vanishing and calling for Renfield. Vlad smiled and realised that no amount of hypnotism could break his dad and Renfield up. That sounded wrong.

"So Vlad can you do something for me," asked Robin grinning. Vlad looked at his friend and just sighed. He knew what task he was going to have to do now.

Chloe opened the door to her living room and wondered who decided to have the creepiest decorations ever. Her inquiry was answered when she looked at Robin playing the keyboard or at least pretending to. She also looked at her brothers behind her who decided to bicker with Robin and turn his keyboard off. She looked towards two coffin doors opening and saw her mum and dad in gothic rags and fake fangs. Her two older brothers decided to run for their lives.

"So you and Vlad have been busy," said Chloe

Ingrid entered the castle with Jonathan which was an unlikely duo but she thought seemed necessary. How else would she find out what this highly acclaimed Harry Potter was? She entered greeting her father who greeted her back and told Jonathan to stay behind but then looked back at her dad who was wearing a bright-coloured jumpsuit while painting the wall yellow. She scoffed and ran up to Vlad's room.

"Well who's been a naughty boy then," smiled Ingrid. Vlad looked at his sister and offered her a pizza. "Vlad, why did you hypnotise Dad? It doesn't seem your style," asked Ingrid. Vlad smirked and said,

"Well, Dad asked me to be more evil so I did the most evil thing I could think of to him. Make him an ordinary man." Ingrid laughed and took a slice of pizza before heading to her room and changing into more comfortable clothes. She beckoned Jonathan to come in who was carrying 3 DVD boxes. She sat on her bed with Jonathan beginning to play the first Harry Potter movie. He looked up at her and smiled. She just rolled her eyes. After she finished this she would wipe his memory of this event.

Vlad heard a commotion and went downstairs. He immediately saw two odd individuals with fake fangs sitting at the dinner table with Robin and Chloe freaking out. Robin caught his eye and gestured toward one end of the table where Mr Van Helsing sat with his hand in his bag while Jonathan spoke to his dad. Vlad suddenly looked back at the same end of the table. When did Jonathan get here? He seems a bit too comfortable for him to have come here with his dad. Vlad thought that even Jonathan was surprised at his dad's appearance. He then looked at his dad and Ingrid who seemed a bit embarrassed. One good thing about being a vampire, you never turn red. He saw his dad and had to look again. He was wearing the most mundane clothing he had seen. A yellow suit with a Hawaiian shirt. He was the most typical dad you could have. Vlad just shook his head in disgust. Maybe he went too far with this practical joke especially now that the one person that could and would harm his dad was in the castle. He ran downstairs and pulled Ingrid aside.

"Hey just so you know, Van Helsing is a slayer nothing crazy," said Vlad nonchalantly. Ingrid looked at his brother and just laughed. Van Helsing being a slayer was one of the worst excuses he's ever given. She took another look at him and realised he wasn't joking.

"Agh, I even let that slayer spawn in my room," shuddered Ingrid. Vlad looked at her and was about to make a joke before she gave him a look that promised him death if he even tried. He also realised that it wasn't the time to be making jokes at this time. They entered the room with the Branaghs eating garlic. He looked his dad in the eye and saw he wanted to try. Vlad quickly took the last one while placing the chalk in the bowl.

"Here you go, Dad. This one just seemed tastier," embellished Vlad. He looked at Mr Van Helsing who seemed defeated. Vlad almost felt bad if he wasn't constantly trying to kill him and his family. In fact, Vlad was happy. Another battle won against the slayers.

"Now we need to talk this suspension through," said Vlad's dad

"I was wrong all this time," mumbled Mr Van Helsing

"See, it was a mistake. Suspension over," Jonathan said. He seemed to be in a hurry to get his dad out of the house as much as they wanted him out. Vlad just pulled the two Welsh vampires to another room where he lifted the hypnosis and told them that they were at a fancy dress party. He sighed and looked at his dad. This was not going to be easy. He knew that his dad was going to be mad.

"Ingrid, one more day isn't going to hurt him, is it?" implored Vlad seeking assurance of his own choice.

"Yeah of course. Although he may eat garlic or a stake or sunlight, that won't hurt him at all," mocked Ingrid. Vlad just shook his head and steeled himself. He had to do this for his dad's safety. He finally snapped his fingers releasing his father of the hypnosis that trapped him initially.

"hypnotised. Where am I? What am I wearing?" asked the Count. Vlad just smiled and waited for him to realise. The Count glared at him and muttered, "Vladimir what did you do?"

"You know just the usual hypnotise your dad so he thinks he's a breather gag," confessed Vlad.

"And why did you do this?" glowered the Count. Vlad gulped and looked at his dad while saying,

"Because it was evil or at least caused chaos. You said that I should create chaos." The Count stared at Vlad before smiling and then chuckling which then turned into hearty laughter. Vlad was confused. Why wasn't his dad mad? Vlad had forced him into a living nightmare yet he was laughing at the situation. Forget this situation, there weren't many times in Vlad's entire laugh he could remember his dad laughing this hard.

"Oh, Vlad you have outdone yourself this time. I knew the Dracula gene for causing trouble hadn't been lost on you. You are a natural," praised the Count. Vlad smiled and puffed his chest out. The Count raised an eyebrow before crushing Vlad's hopes by telling him, "You will still repaint those disgusting walls though. Don't think that Renfield or Ingrid will lift a finger to help you either."

"But Ingrid was-" Vlad began to say before stopping.

"But Ingrid was what, hmm?" asked his dad once more.

"Nothing. I'll get started soon," accepted the young boy. The Count looked at his son and smiled. What a vampire he was going to be. If only he was more sadistic in his troublemaking. The Count shook his head. He wouldn't be Vlad if he was.