The Average DC Experience (COMPLETED)

'I didn't think this through...'

I sighed, scratching my head as I stood in the line to enter the nightclub, inspecting my surroundings. The line was long, and many young men and women were waiting for their turn, some already swaying to the loud music leaking through the club's entrance.

It was all fine and dandy except for the small detail of the buff bouncer standing at the entrance, checking everyone's IDs while chasing away the occasional minor who wanted to sneak in.

'Just my fucking luck... a nightclub in Gotham that actually doesn't allow minors inside...' I sighed, wondering if I should just go and buy a phone, but then again Selina did show up unannounced and even broke into my apartment.

And so, in my pity, and laziness I came to a decision.

'Yeah, I should return the favor...' I mused as I looked around, searching for something to help me sneak into the nightclub. The only way I was getting is by causing a scene, and it should be someone else getting the attention.

I quickly formulated a plan as I waited for my turn.

'Yeah... that should work... hopefully...'

I acted when it was almost my turn with three people in front of me. I equipped my steel wire and subtly pushed the red-shirted guy ahead of me forward, making him bump into the black-shirted guy further in the line.

I activated my steel wire and stealthily moved it between the second and the third people in line to snag the former's wallet while they were distracted.

"Hey! Watch it!" the red shirt guy exclaimed as he glared at me while inspecting his pockets. The black-shirted guy ahead let out a similar exclamation and rummaged through his pockets, copying the former's actions.

"Sorry about that. Someone pushed me from behind," I said, smiling as I watched the second in line (black shirt guy) turn to the second (red shirt guy) and accuse him of stealing his wallet.

The two quickly started hurling insults at each other and almost started throwing punches before the bouncer came to separate them and started adding fire to the flame.

I stepped back and started subtly pushing people against each other and pick-pocketing the occasional wallet. The bouncer already had his hands full, and the entire line soon devolved into a raging mob.

'Huh... that was easy... incredibly dumb and exaggerated, but easy...'

I shrugged as I took advantage of the confusion and walked inside without getting noticed. I frowned as the loud music assaulted my ears and looked around, trying to locate Selina.

'If I was a kleptomaniac who happened to be obsessed with cats, where would I be...?'

I came here in the first place to find Selina because I needed to assure her I wouldn't do anything with her identity. She might get too anxious and do something that could ruin both of us otherwise.

If I leave things the way they were, we'd either have to spend the rest of our lives scheming against each other until one of us or both get fucked. Alternatively, we could try being reasonable and talk things over, which is what I came here to do.

If two people knew two dangerous secrets about each other, it could only go two ways, either mutual destruction or the start of a friendship. Mutual destruction doesn't sound appealing, and I need friends (like seriously) if you didn't notice already.

Her act of leaving her number was an olive branch that I needed to take for her sake and mine.

'Maybe I should ask the bartender...?'

I scratched my head, having found no sign of Catwoman, not that I knew what she looked like in the first place.

'I'm slowly starting to realize that suddenly coming here unannounced, and without a plan might have been a stupid idea...'

I shrugged and started walking towards the bar, careful not to bump into the countless people in the club, dancing, carrying trays of drinks, or just standing and chatting.

I took a seat at the bar, and I didn't need to wait long for a bartender to come my way.

"Ain'tcha a bit young to be drinking, buddy?" the loud bartender said, speaking in a Brooklyn accent, her tone upbeat and cheery. I barely heard her over the music.

She looked 5.7 tall, and she had blue eyes, blonde hair, and a bright smile tugged on her full red lips. She wore casual clothes, a skirt, and a white shirt.

"I'm not here to drink..." I said, raising my voice to make sure she'd hear me over the music, and I think she managed, judging by the curious look she was sending me.

"Oh, I know! ya must be here to pick up chicks then!" the bartender said, her grin almost splitting her face as she gave me a knowing look. "But are ya sure this the best to be doing that? Most of the gals here bimbos choke-full of STDs, ya know?!" she added and shook her head in disapproval.

"I'm not here to pick up chicks either. I'm here-" I replied, my eyes twitching in annoyance, but the bartender quickly cut me off before I could finish.

"So yer fishin' for some hunks then, eh? No shame in that, buddy," She exclaimed, her grin deepening as she winked at me. "Whatever floats yer boat or rocks it, if ya get what I'm saying?" she added, nodding her head as she gave me a suggestive look and a thumbs-up gesture.

"Look, lady— I'm not here to drink, pick up, or fish for anything," I exclaimed in exasperation, hoping to stop her before her mind started wandering and getting wild again. "I'm looking for Selina Kyle," I added, waving a hand to the side.

"Well, why didn'tcha just say so, silly?" the bartender said, tilting her head as she regarded me with a look that suggested I was an idiot. I bit down the retort at the top of my tongue to keep the conversation going before she steered it into another weird direction.

"Sorry to break it down to ya, but Selina took off a while ago," the bartender added, shaking her head as she took out a phone to see the time. "She won't be coming back anytime soon either..." she concluded after looking at the time, causing me to sigh.

'I really need to buy a fucking phone...'

I could have avoided all of this if I'd just bought a damned phone and called Selina instead of showing up unannounced.

"I'll come back later then, I guess," I sighed as I got off the chair, smiling at the bartender. "Thanks for your time...?" I added, giving her a questioning look as I trailed off.

"Ya can call me Q, and yer welcome anytime," the bartender said, smiling as she paused to give me an expectant look.

"Gray..." I said, nodding at her and returning the smile. "I'll see you later then, Q," I concluded as I turned around and walked to the exit, giving her one last look over my shoulder.

"Don't be a stranger!" She exclaimed, waving me goodbye.

...

"No Joker Venom... no wiggling green vines... and not a single dead body in my nightclub..." Selina said as she entered her loft house, giving Harley a raised eyebrow. "Color me surprised," she added as she took off her high heels and put them away.

"Come on, Kitty! I ain't that bad!" Harley exclaimed, pouting as she hugged the pillow she held closer to her body, acting coy. "Besides, ya know I wouldn't get to anything fun without you around!" she added, smiling at Selina as the latter sat next to her.

"I dread to think what you consider fun, Harley," Selina said, rolling her eyes at her blonde friend. She leaned into the couch and picked the remote to turn on the television.

"By the way, I heard there was some kind of a ruckus in front of the club earlier tonight," Selina said while lazily rubbing the back of her neck in exhaustion. "Was that you're doing, by any chance?" she asked as she turned to the blonde, shooting her a questioning look.

"Ya know that's not my style, Kitty," Harley said, denying the very notion as she shook her head. "I know who made it happen, though," she added, devilishly grinning as she internally replayed today's events.

"Guy who did it was here looking for ya, called himself Gray," Harley concluded, turning to Selina to study her expression, looking for any signs of recognition.

"Explain," Selina said after a second's silence, much to Harley's chagrin and disappointment as her cat-loving friend didn't display any reaction as she had hoped.

"I heard the ruckus outside, so I went to take a peak," Harley said as she pointed at the penthouse's window that overlooked the nightclub's entrance. "I saw the guy causing a scene, stealing people's wallets and pushing everyone around..." she added, chuckling in amusement as she remembered the chaos.

"He did all of that just to sneak into the nightclub, and I got curious, so I went down to see for myself..." Harley remarked and proceeded to recount the rest of the encounter to Selina.

...

"Finally, a fucking phone- ACHOO!" I muttered, sneezing at the end of my sentence as I exited the electronic store. I looked at the phone, debating whether to call Selin or not, but decided against it.

'It's getting late... I'll call tomorrow or some other time...' I shrugged my shoulders as I pocketed the phone, stored it in my inventory, and started walking.

...

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