The Darkness I Carry

Chapter 44: The Point of No Return

The silence in the aftermath of Leah's departure was suffocating, like the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving Caleb with nothing but the pounding of his own heartbeat. He stood there, frozen, unable to move, unable to speak. Her words echoed in his mind. Goodbye, Caleb. And with them, the realization hit him with the force of a sledgehammer: she had already let go. She had already severed the last thread that connected them.

And he?

He was still standing there, grasping at the remnants of something that no longer existed.

The next few days passed in a fog, the world outside of the facility blurring into an indistinguishable smear of noise and motion.

Caleb went through the motions: the

missions, the briefings, the constant moving forward with no destination. But it didn't matter anymore. Each step felt like a shadow of the one before, each action pointless, hollow.

His interactions with the others were as brief as necessary, the faceless people in the halls nothing more than another blur, another cog in the wheel. He didn't care about them. He didn't care about anything.

And yet, despite the numbness settling over him, Caleb's thoughts kept circling back to Leah. To what she had said. What she had done.

He had tried to save her. But now, there was nothing left to save.

One night, after another soulless mission, Caleb found himself standing in the hallway outside of Leah's quarters. He wasn't sure what had driven him there an impulse, a flicker of hope, or just the unbearable weight of knowing that if he didn't do something, he would lose her forever.

He raised his hand, his fist trembling slightly, and knocked softly on her door.

No answer.

His heart pounded in his chest as he waited. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to say. But before he could second-guess himself, the door opened.

Leah stood there, her eyes unreadable, her face pale in the dim light. She hadn't changed. Her demeanor was still cold, detached, like she had shut everything out and locked it behind a wall of indifference.

"What do you want, Caleb?" Her voice was flat, emotionless.

The words stuck in his throat. He hadn't thought this far ahead. He hadn't expected her to open the door, to even acknowledge his presence. But here she was, standing in front of him, and he had no idea how to bridge the gap between them.

"I " He faltered, then took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "I don't know. I just… I couldn't leave things like that. I couldn't walk away without saying"

Leah's eyes narrowed, a flicker of something passing through them, irritation, maybe, or frustration. It was hard to tell.

"There's nothing left to say, Caleb. You can't change anything. You can't save me." Her words cut through him like a blade. She wasn't yelling, wasn't even angry, but there was an edge to her voice that made him feel smaller than he had ever felt before.

"I'm not trying to save you," Caleb said quietly, his voice rough. "I just… I don't want to lose you. Not like this."

She laughed softly, a sound that was more bitter than anything else. "You already have, Caleb. You just don't realize it yet."

The finality in her voice made his chest tighten. He wanted to argue, to tell her that he hadn't given up. That he could still do something. But the truth was, he wasn't sure anymore. Leah had closed the door on him, and the worst part was he didn't know if he could blame her.

"Is that it?" he asked, the question slipping out before he could stop it. "Are you really just going to walk away from everything? From me?"

Leah didn't flinch. She just stood there, her arms crossed over her chest, watching him with that same blank expression she had worn ever since the mission. She was already so far away, and he couldn't reach her.

"Everything is already gone, Caleb," she said softly. "We're both already gone."

Caleb stood there for what felt like an eternity, staring at her, trying to make sense of the woman standing in front of him. The woman who had once been his friend, his partner, his... everything. But she was gone. The girl he had known the girl he had fought for, was lost. In her place was someone he didn't recognize, someone who had made her peace with the things she had done, with the life she had been forced into.

And maybe, just maybe, she was right.

They had both already lost everything.

He wanted to say something. He wanted to beg her to come back to him, to find some shred of the Leah he once knew. But he knew it was futile. There was nothing left to save.

"Goodbye, Caleb," Leah said again, her voice no longer cold, but tired, tired in a way that made Caleb's heart ache. She didn't slam the door. She didn't shout. She just closed it gently, as though she were closing the door on a chapter that had already ended.

Caleb stood there for a long time, staring at the door. His heart pounded in his chest, but it felt far away, like someone else's heartbeat. He had lost her.

He had always known it was coming, but now that it had happened, it felt like a part of him had shattered. A part of him he didn't know how to live without.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Caleb found himself in the cafeteria, staring down at his food with no appetite. He had no desire to eat, no desire to do anything. The faces around him were blurred, the conversations muffled. He didn't hear the chatter, the clinking of silverware, the hum of voices. He only heard the hollow echo of his own thoughts.

And then, as if on cue, someone sat down across from him. Caleb didn't even look up, didn't acknowledge the person. He didn't have the energy.

"You look like shit," a voice said, familiar but distant.

Caleb finally raised his eyes, surprised to find Caleb's old handler, Parker, sitting across from him, a slight smirk on his face.

"Go away," Caleb said without thinking, his voice low and rough.

Parker didn't take offense. Instead, he just leaned back in his chair, studying Caleb with an almost amused expression. "You've lost her, haven't you?"

Caleb's heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, he thought he might actually choke on the air he was breathing. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice too shaky, too raw.

Parker's eyes narrowed slightly. "Leah. She's gone. You know it as much as I do."

Caleb didn't say anything. He couldn't. The words were trapped in his throat, and for a moment, he hated Parker for saying it out loud. Because Parker was right.

Leah was gone. And Caleb was alone.