The Long Way to Love

Josh sat in his room after dinner, his notebook open in front of him, the words staring back at him in uncertainty. He hadn't planned on writing anything. But somehow, here he was, scribbling down his thoughts—thoughts he hadn't fully understood himself. It wasn't like he could talk to anyone about this, especially not Aki. So, he wrote.

The pen moved across the page as he poured out his feelings. He tried to ignore the lump in his throat, telling himself that it was just an exercise in self-expression. But deep down, he knew what it really was: a confession. He was confessing to a page, to the notebook that would never tell anyone.

---

*"Aki,

I don't know how to say this, and I'm not sure if I ever will. But every time I see you smile, or laugh, or talk to me, it feels like I'm the luckiest person alive. I don't know when it happened, but I think I've started to feel something more than friendship for you. Maybe it's always been there, hiding in the background, but it's so much harder to ignore now.

I don't know what this means. I'm not asking for anything to change, but I need to get this out. Maybe I'll never tell you. Maybe this will stay between me and this notebook. But it feels like something I can't keep inside anymore.

Josh"*

---

Josh read the words over and over again, feeling both relieved and terrified. It was so easy to write it down, but so hard to let anyone else read it. And the last person he could ever show it to was Aki. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if it ruined everything between them?

He glanced at the clock on his desk. His fingers hovered over the paper. He could rip it up, forget it ever happened. But a part of him didn't want to. A part of him wanted to keep it—like a secret he could carry with him forever, even if he never shared it with her.

As the minutes ticked by, Josh felt the weight of his decision. He didn't know what to do with the letter, but he knew one thing for sure: he couldn't let Aki find out about it. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

With a heavy sigh, he closed the notebook, carefully setting it aside. His thoughts turned to the upcoming weekend when he and Aki had plans to hang out after school. That would be better. Less complicated. He'd push these feelings aside for now.

But for now, he had to keep the letter hidden. Just for a little longer.

---

The next day, as Josh headed to school, the letter was still locked away in his notebook. He tried to act normal around Aki, like nothing had changed, but his mind kept drifting back to the words he'd written. His heart fluttered every time he saw her smile, and it made it harder to concentrate on anything else.

Aki, as always, was her usual cheerful self. She teased him about the school play audition, told him she had plans to meet up with friends after school, and joked about the homework they both dreaded. To anyone else, it might've seemed like just another normal day. But to Josh, it felt like the world had shifted ever so slightly, and he couldn't quite find his footing.

---

Later that afternoon, as Josh and Aki sat together on the steps of the school entrance, he couldn't help but feel the weight of his secret pressing down on him. He wanted to tell her, wanted to let the words spill out, but something always held him back.

"Hey, Josh," Aki said suddenly, her voice soft. "You okay? You've been a little off today."

Josh hesitated, caught off guard by her question. He forced a smile. "Yeah, just tired. Nothing big."

Aki didn't seem entirely convinced but let it go. "Okay, well, if you need to talk, you know I'm here, right?"

Her words sent a small jolt of warmth through him. She was always so understanding, always there for him, even when he couldn't explain himself. He didn't know how to respond, so instead, he just nodded.

"Thanks, Aki. You're the best," he said quietly, glancing at the ground.

She smiled at him, and Josh's heart skipped a beat. He wanted to tell her. He wanted so badly to let her know how he felt, but in that moment, he realized that some things were just too big to say yet.

And so, they sat there in comfortable silence, the unspoken words lingering between them like a heavy secret.