The Luckiest DnD Player (Gamer! Naruto) (Naruto x High School DxD)

Game

Thoughts

"Talking"

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So… uh… Kiba," Naruto cleared his throat, staring at the boy across the couch from him, "How are… did you… uh… how's it going?"

"Good, Kami-sama," Kiba replied, staring at him strangely, "Why did you call me here?"

"Please, Kiba, you can just call me Naruto," Naruto nodded at him, straightening his back.

"I couldn't possibly do that, Kami-sama," Kiba waved him off, smiling gently.

"Kiba," Naruto leaned forward, locking eyes with Kiba, "Call me Naruto. Today, I'm not the Youkai God."

"You're not?" Kiba asked, looking questioningly at him.

"No, today," Naruto leaned forward further, shadows covering his eyes, "I'm your therapist."

"...My therapist?" Kiba echoed, and Naruto nodded in response.

"Yes," Naruto confirmed, sitting back up and smiling brightly at Kiba, "Have you heard of the 'Talk-no-Jutsu' technique, Kiba?"

"I can't say I have," Kiba answered eloquently.

"It's been a while since I've had to use it, so I'm a bit rusty," Naruto nodded, his face turning serious, "Tell me your life story, Kiba."

"...I don't think I want to do that," Kiba replied, the man's lips tightening.

"Why not? Do you not trust me?" Naruto asked, his face squishing as he imitated an old man, "I've lived many years, Kiba. I've seen many great men torn apart by their past. But it is not the past that defines you, Kiba. It is the present!"

"Yeah, it, ah… isn't because I don't trust you, Kami-sama," Kiba answered dryly, gesturing to the other occupants in the room, who were sitting on either side of Naruto, "Could they leave?"

The tension in the air, as well as Naruto and Kiba's overly eloquent discussion, was ripped away as the blue-haired woman sitting on Naruto's left spoke.

"Not possible," Xenvoia said abruptly, the woman's eyes boring into Kiba, "Kami-sama requires us to be here."

"No, I really don't," Naruto sighed, looking dryly at Xenovia.

Persuasion Check

[Rolling…]

[God's Luck] has added [ERROR]

Your [LEGENDARY] Debuff - [Bad Timing] has deactivated your [God's Luck] Perk!

1!

Check failed!

"I suppose if Kami-sama requires it, then it's fine," Kiba sighed, conceding but not looking happy about it, "But… could they at least put on some more clothing? It's… inappropriate."

"Nope!" This time it was the orange-haired woman, Irina, who spoke from Naruto's right, "Kami-sama said we need to wear this, so we will!"

"I never said that…" Naruto trailed off again, doing his best not to glance at either woman, who were nearly nude as they sat on the Occult Research Club's couches. They were wrapped in loose towels, which only did the bare minimum as it covered their private parts.

Persuasion Check

[Rolling…]

[God's Luck] has added [ERROR]

Your [LEGENDARY] Debuff - [Bad Timing] has deactivated your [God's Luck] Perk!

1!

Check failed!

"How does this always happen?" Naruto muttered, pushing away a headache. The morning had almost been normal. 

Almost.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 Hours Earlier

"Naruto-chan! I need your help!" Rias shouted the second Naruto arrived in the Occult Research Club's clubroom.

"Sure," Naruto agreed simply, nodding at Rias. He'd been in this situation enough times to be used to it.

"It's about Kiba," Rias said, her face suddenly turning deathly serious.

"What about Kiba?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"He needs therapy!"

Naruto blinked, staring at the deathly serious woman.

"...therapy?"

"Yes! Therapy!" Rias confirmed, nodding cutely at him as if there was no problem with her statement.

"Then… get him a therapist?" Naruto said, unsure where the conversation was going.

"No! This is too personal!" Rias shot him down, shaking her head at him, "It has to be you, Naruto-chan! You're the only person I can trust with this!"

Well, I can't turn her down after she said all that!

"Fine," Naruto nodded, "Tell me what's going on."

"Kiba had a… situation, involving holy swords, and the Excalibur fragments in particular, when he was a child," Rias started to explain.

"A situation?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow at her, "How bad was it?"

"Very bad," Rias replied bluntly, "He's not taking to Xenvoia and Irina being in Kuoh well."

It had only been two days since the 'meeting,' if such a strange gathering could even be called a meeting, and Naruto had left the situation in Rias's hands. While he didn't mind helping Rias out, he still had a home in Kyoto, and more than a few women to 'take care of'. He didn't have time to babysit the two crazy exorcist women.

"Childhood trauma, huh?" Naruto asked, and Rias nodded, "Alright, I'll try to help him out. Where's Kiba now?"

"I… don't know," Rias admitted, looking slightly ashamed at her answer, "He went against my orders yesterday and attacked Xenvoia. I scolded him for it, and he… ran off."

"Then you need to give him some space," Naruto said, his mind wandering back to a certain black-haired edge lord of a best friend. Sasuke had also been ridden with some very deep trauma from his childhood and had also run away.

It worked out in the end, but…

While everything had worked out fine in the end, the road to get there had been bumpy. 

That was partially my fault.

Naruto had been young and inexperienced - desperately wanting to help his friend and teammate, but not knowing how to do so. Trying to stop his friend from leaving, but only pushing him further away. He hadn't understood why Sasuke was doing the things he was, and that was his biggest problem.

"I don't know anything about Kiba," Naruto continued at Rias's questioning look, "I don't know about his trauma. I don't know what happened to him. I can't fix all of his problems, and neither can you. He has to fight through this himself."

Hah, I've really grown up, huh? 

He could only imagine how his younger self would feel if he said that about Sasuke.

"Well, if you say so, Naruto-chan," Rias hummed, her face still cutely worried, but then she brightened up as she looked up at him, "Then, you can help me study! I have an exam coming up!"

"Sure," Naruto nodded, pushing away his thoughts of both Kiba and Sasuke, "What subject?"

"Math," Rias wrinkled her nose at the thought, and Naruto froze.

"Like… numbers and stuff?" He asked, feeling a sense of dread wash over him.

"Yup! It's my worst subject, so we'll have to study for a while! A couple of hours at least!" Rias nodded, a cutely determined look on her beautiful face.

"Uh… yeah… I just remembered I had something to do," Naruto nodded quickly, turning around and heading toward the door.

"Something? What is it?" Rias pried, and Naruto thought quickly.

"...Yasaka needed help with something! She said it's super important!" Naruto nodded, taking a step towards the door.

She'll definitely buy that!

"What? Yasaka's going to be at the publishing firm to work out the next chapter of your manga all day today," Rias said, reaching down and pulling out her phone. She held it up at him, showcasing a virtual calendar. On the current day, there was a note reading 'Yasaka - Manga Meeting - All Day.'

"Oh, yeah! I meant, uh, Kunou!" Naruto nodded.

Good thinking, me!

"Kunou? She's studying with her handmaidens today," Rias shot him down, swiping down on the phone slightly. On the calendar read 'Kunou - Studying - 8 am-5 pm.'

"I… need to help her study?" Naruto said slowly. Rias merely stared at him blankly. Kunou might've been childish, but they both knew she was extremely smart - after all, she'd grown up with the best tutors in all of Kyoto guiding her.

"Oops… I meant… Kuroka?" Naruto said hesitantly.

"Her and Shirone are doing their… 'super secret Senjutsu training to surprise and impress Naruto-ch- oops!'" Rias blinked, blushing slightly as she turned the phone around again, "Pretend you didn't hear that!"

"...Grayfia?"

"Taking care of Millicas today. It's parent observation day at his school," Rias countered.

"Katerea?" 

"She has some secret evil magician meeting today."

"The fallen! Raynare, Kalawarner, and Mittelt!"

"On a mission," Rias shook her head again, looking down at her phone, "They're required to do one every few months for their positions in the Grigori."

"Right, and I'm gonna go help them out with it," Naruto nodded, a wise look on his face as he finally found a good excuse.

"Their mission is to create a plan to get you to go drinking with Azazel again," Rias deadpanned. Naruto stopped in his tracks, his mind wandering back to the 2-day hellish drinking escapade the two had gone on for his 'game.' Azazel had invited him out for drinks multiple times since then, but…

…Never again.

"Akeno? Maybe?" Naruto finally said, deflating as he was starting to run out of women to name.

"It was me!" Naruto blinked as Akeno suddenly stepped out of the kitchen - he still found it strange that a school clubroom had a kitchen - and smiled seductively at Naruto, "Naruto-chan was going to help me break in my new whips! Weren't you, Naruto-chan~?"

"Nope!" Naruto said firmly, deciding that he would do anything but that as he looked back at Rias, "If I go find Kiba, do I have to help you study?"

"I guess not," Rias nodded, and Naruto held up his fist in determination.

"Alright! I'll go find him!"

"Kiba?" A new voice rang out, and Naruto blinked as the shower curtain in the back corner of the room opened up, "The boy that attacked me yesterday?"

Yes, the Occult Research Club did have a shower in their clubroom.

"Why the fuck is there a shower in your clubroom?" Naruto asked blankly, watching as Xenvoia stepped out of it, completely nude.

"It's always been there," Rias answered, "I like having showers. You've used it before, Naruto-chan! We all had a group shower once!"

"'We all'?" Naruto asked blankly.

"You, me, Akeno, Shirone-"

"Pervert!" Rias was cut off as Irina peeked around Xenvoia's shoulder, the girl blushing at Rias's words.

"...Oh, right. We did do that," Naruto deadpanned. He'd taken a lot of showers with a lot of women at this point - it was starting to get hard to keep track of them all.

"Anyway," Xenvoia spoke again, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around herself as she stepped out of the shower, "Allow me to go with you. I would like to speak with that boy."

"No chance," Naruto deadpanned, "I'm trying to help him sort through his trauma, and you want me to bring the source of it? Nah."

Persuasion Check

[Rolling…]

[God's Luck] has added [ERROR]

Your [LEGENDARY] Debuff - [Bad Timing] has deactivated your [God's Luck] Perk!

1!

Check failed!

"You're so smart, Naruto-chan!" Rias cheered, causing Naruto to stare at her blankly, "You're right! The best way to help Kiba is to bring the source of his trauma so he can fight through it directly!"

"...yeah, I guess so," Naruto said blankly. He did not guess so, but the game guessed so, so now he had to guess so.

"Then I'll come too!" Irina butted in, stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel to wrap around herself.

"No, you won't," Naruto tried again, "This is a serious issue. You guys can't just tag along - oh, and put some clothes on! You two are from the church, aren't you? You shouldn't just be walking around near me while you're naked or in a towel!"

Persuasion Check

[Rolling…]

[God's Luck] has added [ERROR]

Your [LEGENDARY] Debuff - [Bad Timing] has deactivated your [God's Luck] Perk!

1!

Check failed!

I don't like where this is going.

"W-Well… if you say so," Irina blushed, looking shyly at Naruto, "I'll come with you, and we'll both stay in these towels or take them off and get naked! B-But just because you said to, a-and it wouldn't be good for our factions relationship if w-we didn't listen! …or something."

Naruto stared at her blankly yet again, the quiet giggle of Akeno echoing through the room.

"I-It's not because I'm a super big fan! Or because I like you! Or because you're super hot! Or… or anything else! So don't get the wrong idea!" Irina huffed, and wrapped her towel around her nude body as she puffed her cheeks out at Naruto.

Naruto quietly turned his head to look at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry, Kiba…"

"Why are you sorry? Aren't you going to help him?" Rias asked, tilting her head at him.

"Yes… yes I am," Naruto muttered, looking at the two near-nude women who were indirectly triggering Kiba's trauma with their very presence.

I'm sorry it turned out this way, Kiba. It always turns out this way.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Present

"Why do you hate us?" Xenvoia asked bluntly, staring at Kiba emotionlessly.

"None of your business," Kiba replied coldly, the boy still smiling gently despite his words.

"Just tell us and we can help you out!" Irina continued, bouncing on the couch and causing her breasts to jiggle, "This is a therapy session! We have to work through this!"

"I'm meant to be the therapist here," Naruto deadpanned at her.

"I don't… hate you," Kiba gritted out, his friendly demeanor crumbling, "I… I hate your swords."

"The Excalibur fragments?" Xenvoia asked, and Kiba begrudgingly nodded.

"I'm the sole survivor of the holy sword project," Kiba said abruptly. The room fell silent, all eyes locked on him as he dropped the bombshell of information.

…

"Should I know what that means?" Irina whispered toward Naruto, who just stared blankly in response.

"I dunno."

"The holy sword project…" Kiba clenched his fist, his face deathly serious as no small amount of anger formed in his eyes, "It was the most evil project in the church's history, which caused the deat-"

"Achoo!" Naruto blinked, looking over at the noise.

"Sorry! Pretend I'm not here!" Rias said, the red-haired devil peeking around the small wall that separated the kitchen from the main room in the Occult Research Club's clubroom as she spied on the 'therapy session.'

"...Right," Kiba nodded, his face turning deathly serious again, "The holy sword project experimented on a group of children, running tests on them t-"

"Do you want tea, Rias-sama?" 

"Not now, Akeno! He's getting to the good part!" 

Naruto glanced at the duo as they huddled behind the small wall with a deadpan. 

I thought Xenovia and Irina would be the problem, but it's you two?!

"...They ran tests on children to find what allowed someone to wield a holy sword. They figured it out, but to extract it they had to kil-"

"Sounds fake," Xenovia said abruptly, and Kiba slowly, robotically, turned to look at her.

"...what?"

"I've never heard of this project. The church would never do something so inhumane as testing on children," Xenvoia said dismissively.

"Are you saying that I'm lying?" Kiba gritted out, his eyes boring into Xenvoia.

"Obviously."

"...Don't stop me, Kami-sama. I'll kill her!" Kiba shouted, standing up quickly and lashing out with his hand. A sword formed in it.

In response, Xenvoia casually stood as well, reaching behind the couch and pulling up her no-so-subtly hidden massive Excalibur fragment.

"The Youkai God giving us hospitality won't stop me from killing you this time," Xenvoia said, glaring forward at Kiba. To Naruto's side, Irina looked between the two worriedly.

"Alright, stop," Naruto hummed, waving his hands at the two, "Let's talk this out. There's no need to fight."

"I won't," Kiba said harshly, pointing his blade at Xenovia, "She dares to call me a liar! You dare to deny the existence of the project that murdered my friends!"

"If you're going to continue to lie on the church's name, then I will be forced to kill you," Xenovia said bluntly, raising her sword as well.

"Just sit down, both of you," Naruto said again, trying to diffuse the situation, "Neither of you are fighting."

"The center of my hatred is right here, and you want me to stop?" Kiba growled, taking a step forward at Xenovia, "Not a chance!"

"I have no qualms with killing a devil in self-defense," Xenovia answered.

"I've been kind to you because you'll eventually join Naruto-chan's harem, but I won't let this slide," Rias finally spoke, the woman walking around the wall as a red aura surrounded her, "You won't be killing any of my cute peerage members!"

"You don't look that intimidating when you're naked, devil," Yes, Rias was, in fact, still butt naked.

"Well, looks like it's time to fight, huh?" Irina muttered, standing up and also grabbing her excalibur as she stared down Rias.

"Ufufu, we've been so nice, but you're all acting up. Someone needs to be punished!" Akeno giggled, stepping out next to Rias as lightning danced on her fingertips. 

As the two sides stared each other down, one person in the room was no longer amused.

"Hey…" 

Suddenly, everyone in the room froze. 

It wasn't that they didn't want to move. No, every fiber of their beings screamed for them to move. To run as if death itself was right behind them. Or, to kneel and beg for mercy.

But, they couldn't. It was as if time had frozen.

Their breath caught in their throat, their hearts pounding in their ears, their muscles tense as adrenaline and dread flowed through them.

The light shining through the window suddenly disappeared, shadows being cast through the clubroom. 

The sole occupant still on the couch had his eyes closed, his annoyance at the situation reaching its breaking point. A small, nearly unnoticeable, glow surrounded Naruto. His Chakra rolled off of him in waves, slamming into each individual and causing them to freeze from the pure power.

Slowly, his eyes opened into slits. A small glow came off of them, his pupils boring into the souls of every person in the room - devil and exorcists alike.

When you get to know someone, it's easy to forget who they truly are. 

When you first meet someone, they can appear so intimidating. A mentor, a friend, or a crush. When you speak to them for the first time, you'll have a million thoughts running through your head. 

Wondering if you're making a good first impression. Wondering what they think of you. Your words might even get caught in your throat.

But, once you get to know them, you forget all about that. It becomes natural. When that crush becomes your wife, it's comical to think how nervous you were talking to them for the first time.

But, sometimes, you need to be reminded. You need to remember who you're talking to. 

On that day, everyone was reminded. To Kiba, he was a type of mentor. To Xenvoia, a new friend. To Irina, a possible love. To Akeno, a future love. To Rias, a husband.

But, before all that…

He was the Youkai God.

"Sit down."

In an instant, everyone in the room fell. Xenovia and Irina plopped their large behinds back on the couch, while Kiba practically fell backwards onto his couch. To the side, Rias and Akeno were less lucky, as both women fell to their knees on the hardwood floor.

Naruto opened his mouth, but someone else spoke first.

"That was hot."

In an instant, the tension in the room was ripped away.

Slowly, Naruto turned to look at the kneeling form of Akeno as she stared at him with a flushed face.

Nothing in this world can ever be serious, huh?

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naruto Uzumaki:

[Youkai God]

Lvl: 505

STR: 762

DEX: 725

CON: 540

INT: 215

WIS: 750

CHA: 999

LUK: 0

Skills: [Chess Mastery]

Perks: [Martial Arts], [You're a Wizard, Naruto], [Ladies Man], [God's Luck]

Debuffs: [Confusion], [Bad Timing]

Naruto Uzumaki is a Hero from another world, who has been reborn with the power of the Gamer system! 

Thank you for reading! 

The next chapter will be out in about a week, or you can read ahead 6 chapters on Patreon.com/Koyon !