The Quiet Girl’s Secret

The thing about admiration is… it always starts quietly.A glance. A crush. A flutter. A secret.

But heartbreak?It starts with a smile that wasn't meant for you.

It happened in the courtyard.Lunch hour. Too sunny. Too loud.

I was walking behind Felix and Becky, half-listening to them argue about whether pineapple belonged on pizza, when I looked up — and saw her.

Sam.

Laughing. Not just a polite laugh. Not her announcement voice laugh.A real, head-tilted, eyes-half-shut kind of laugh.

The kind of laugh that makes your chest ache.The kind of laugh you want to be the reason for.

But it wasn't me.

It was Alex.

She was sitting next to him on the steps.Knees bent, bag tossed casually to the side, a bottle of orange soda between them. He must've said something, probably dumb and not even that funny, and she was glowing.

I froze mid-step.

She looked… soft. Warm. Unbothered. Herself.

I had never seen her like that.And I realized something then that I probably already knew:

She had pieces of herself she gave to other people.

And I wasn't one of them.

"You're quiet," Becky said, snapping me out of it.

"Huh? Yeah. Just tired."

Felix offered me half of his samosa. I shook my head.

They didn't ask more. They knew the look in my eyes by now. The Sam Spiral.Level 3.

That night, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Her laugh.

The way her eyes wrinkled at the corners.The way her hand rested on her knee when she leaned forward to listen.

I hadn't even heard what Alex said. But whatever it was, it got that laugh. That expression. That softness.

He got the part of her that wasn't edited for the public.

And I… I was the girl who rewrote her sentences five times just to describe someone else's smile.

At home, I was quiet through dinner.My parents didn't push. They never did. But my mom set an extra piece of garlic bread on my plate anyway. I guess that's her version of asking if I'm okay.

I gave her a small smile. That was my version of lying.

Later, I messaged Becky.

maybe i'm being dramaticbut i think she really likes him

She replied after a minute.

maybe.maybe not.but you won't know unless you ask

I stared at the screen for a long time.

I wouldn't ask.I couldn't.

Because if Sam looked at me the way she looked at him — but with silence — I'd never recover from it.

The next day at school, I noticed everything.

How they always sat two inches too close.How his bag was next to hers in chem class even though there were open chairs everywhere.How she always waited for him when the bell rang.

It wasn't technically romantic. But it didn't need to be.

The world already saw them as a pair.

So did she?

Becky caught me zoning out again during lunch.

"She's allowed to smile," she said quietly.

"I know."

"And laugh."

"I know that too."

"But it hurts anyway."

"Yeah," I whispered.

Felix offered me his last fry without speaking.

That's the thing about best friends. They can't fix it — but they never let you break alone.

I went home and opened my notebook.I didn't write a letter. Not yet.But I wrote something else:

Maybe if I were louder, she'd look at me.Maybe if I were brighter, she'd notice.But I wasn't born to burn. I was born to watch other people shine.

[End of Chapter 5]

Her smile was real. It just wasn't mine.