The Quiet Girl’s Secret

I think there's a moment in every silent crush where your heart just gives up.Not loudly. Not dramatically.It just... slumps. Quietly. Like a tired sigh in the back of your mind.

Mine came on a Monday.

The sun was too bright. My shoelace was untied. My back hurt from falling asleep on my chemistry notes. And Sam?

Sam was glowing again.

She walked into class with Alex, her hair in a half-ponytail and her sleeves rolled up just enough to show the wrist she always wore a plain black band on. I noticed it because I always noticed the little things.

She was laughing at something — again. Of course she was. That's what she did around him.

And the worst part?

It looked real.

Not for show. Not performative. Just easy. Like breathing. Like someone she trusted.

I didn't sit with Becky and Felix at lunch that day.Said I had to finish a worksheet.They didn't believe me, but they let me go anyway.

I sat behind the art room, picking at my sandwich and trying not to cry over things that didn't belong to me.

I didn't want to be jealous.

I didn't want to be bitter.

But I was tired. So, so tired of watching someone I loved from a distance smile for everyone but me.

Later that day, I found Becky leaning against my locker.

She didn't ask where I went.

Just held out a chocolate bar like it was a peace offering.

"I don't stand a chance," I said softly.

Her smile dropped. "Don't say that."

"I'm serious."

"Yeah, so am I."

"She's perfect, Becky."

"You're not wrong."

"Thanks," I muttered.

"But she's not unreachable," she added quickly. "She's just human. And you're not invisible."

I didn't believe her.

Not really.

Felix found us a few minutes later. "Are we spiraling again?"

"I'm fine," I said.

"Nope," Becky replied. "We've upgraded. Full-blown 'I'm-a-nobody' mode."

"Excellent," Felix said flatly. "Just what I needed on a Tuesday."

"I mean it," I said. "She's... Sam. I'm me."

"Okay, but define 'you,'" Felix said.

I blinked. "What?"

"You always compare yourself to her like she's gold and you're cardboard. But what are you?"

I opened my mouth. Closed it.

Becky nudged me. "You're kind. You remember birthdays. You make the best hand-drawn flashcards. You literally ran to the library in the rain once to return a book for a junior because they were scared of getting a late fine."

Felix added, "Also, your egg fried rice slaps."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

Becky crossed her arms. "Look, I'm not saying you're her type. I don't even know if she has a type. But if you keep telling yourself you're a side character, then yeah—she's never going to notice you."

"Because I'm not worth noticing," I whispered, before I could stop myself.

Silence.

Becky's eyes softened. Felix looked away like the air had gone too still.

I regretted saying it instantly.Not because it wasn't true, but because it sounded so... final.

Like I'd slammed the door shut on something that hadn't even had a chance to open.

Becky crouched in front of me, voice quieter now.

"Rubes," she said, "you can't keep living in your head."

"It's safer there."

"I know. But it's also lonely."

I bit my lip.

What would it even change if I did tell Sam?

She'd smile politely. Maybe thank me.Maybe laugh about it later with Alex.Maybe never look at me the same way again.

I couldn't risk that.

So instead, I stayed where it was safe — in the shadows, behind jokes, beneath my hoodie, between the lines I never had the guts to speak.

Later that night, I sat on my bed, blanket pulled over my legs, phone glowing beside me. I didn't touch it.

I just stared at the ceiling and whispered to myself:

She'll never know.She'll never look at me.Not like that.Not a chance.

And yet…

Some part of me — the quiet, stubborn part — wanted to write something down.

Not because I expected her to read it.

Just so the words didn't die inside me.

[End of Chapter 7]

Maybe I wasn't meant to be loved back. But maybe, just once, I wanted to be read.