The Real Harry Potter

"As serious as death, which incidentally is your other option." Harry said as he gestured with his head to Selena. "Personally I like to think I'm much more attractive than a graveyard, make your choice and make it quick." He said as his hands slid down to grab her backside.

Rita thought about it, yes the boy was handsome for his age but he was still only fourteen. But the idea of snogging Harry was far more appealing than death by a killer gaze or a painful death by the most lethal and deadly venom in the world. She closed her eyes and slowly kissed him, only to stop when he yanked her back by the hair.

"That was good, now this time try again, except this time...mean it!" Harry said, the last words came out as a hiss but she understood it. The silent 'or else' was not needed, nor did it make her feel better when the basilisk also hissed.

This time Rita grabbed him by both sides of the head and pulled him into a passionate kiss which quickly developed into full blown snogging, Rita Skeeter snogged him like a woman on a mission. It was a battle as their tongues thought for domination, Harry was less experienced but quickly adapted and ended up winning.

The two continued, Harry simply enjoyed the experience and kissed.

After several moments the two stopped with both panting, Harry grinned, if that was snogging then he would gladly be up for more.

"I...I did it." Rita whispered. "

"Well that was nice." Harry commented. "What do we say Rita?"

"T...thank you." She forced her self to say.

"Good girl," Harry smiled. "If we had good manners from the start then we could have avoided all of this unpleasantness, well maybe unpleasant for you, I rather enjoyed it. Now I have one last thing I need you to do."

"But...but you said that that was..."

"I said that that was the last physical thing." Harry cut off her protest as he stood up and waved his wand, causing his trousers and boxers to go back up. "Now I want you to make an unbreakable vow." Harry ordered.

"An unbreakable vow?!" She looked at him like he had asked for her lungs. "But...but..."

"A simple one, you will simply never knowingly or intentionally try to harm me in anyway or form." Harry replied.

"But...but I can't..."

"Well Miss Skeeter I have a few choices. Option one is you take the vow and we part ways and if we ever meet again we act like this never happened. Option two is Selena over there kills you and I see how she likes the taste of human eyeballs. Option three is I inform people of your illegal animagus form and get you sent to Azkaban. Then there is also option four, I show people the photos."

"Photos?!" She repeated in a confused voice, but she already knew that she would not like the answers.

"Yes, you did take the photos didn't you Dobby?" Harry asked. Rita's head snapped to the side where she saw the house elf, that she thought was dead, holding a camera and grinning.

"Yes master Harry!" Dobby nodded quickly.

"What?! But...but...how?!" She said with a combination of disbelief, horror and confusion.

"You see with the right charms and a bit of imagination you can stop the camera from making noises and from producing blinding flashes." Harry grinned. "I asked Dobby to take two photos, one of you and me snogging. Did you do that Dobby?"

"Yes master Harry," Dobby nodded, glad that he managed to do something right. Plus Selena was not visible thanks to the the angle and position where the photo was taken from. Selena's head was on the right side of Rita's head while her body was wrapped around her neck. Seeing as the photo was taken from the other side Selena's head was not visible so her body just looked like a bad necklace.

"But...but the basilisk killed him!" Rita shouted, protesting the fact that Dobby was still breathing.

"Only if it looked at him," Harry smirked. "I swear my parents graves that she is a basilisk, I just didn't tell her to open her eyes. I merely told her to stay calm. Brilliant acting by the way Dobby."

"Thank you master Harry." Dobby said, blushing slightly.

"Now about those photos, you could claim that they are fake of course. You could also claim that I forced you. However you know from experience that there is a world of difference between the truth and what the public wants to believe. And if I played the victim I'd be more likely to be believed then you, someone who has made plenty of enemies with your less than factual articles. It'd be simple for me to say that you forced yourself on naïve little me. You ruined people by taking advantage of their love of finding a reason to hate people, if the people had to chose between hating you or believing you, what do you think they'd pick?" Harry asked.

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