The Reincarnated Lizardman Wants a Hamburger

This is a story of this world and another world.

Long ago, during the Song Dynasty in China, there lived a woman named Tang Wan, who was known for her intelligence and talent, earning her the title of a prodigy among her peers.

She married the famous poet Lu You, and their marital relationship was said to be harmonious and filled with laughter.

However, despite their happy marriage, Lu You’s mother, Tang Wan’s mother-in-law, disliked her immensely and tormented her.

One day, a grand celebration was held for the mother-in-law’s 60th birthday.

The celebration was crowded with many people, and during the feast, the mother-in-law called Tang Wan forward in front of everyone to humiliate her.

“Child, I am old and cannot eat greasy or hard foods.”

“Yes, Mother.”

“Today is my 60th birthday, a joyous occasion. How can we eat ordinary food on such a day?”

“You are right, Mother.”

“Therefore, make me a dish that is an egg but not an egg, a flour dish but not a flour dish, fried to a golden color, soft to the touch, seemingly salted but sweet when eaten, and one that does not stick to the spoon or bowl, and can be swallowed without chewing.”

And so, she made such an unreasonable demand.

Yet, Tang Wan, without showing any sign of distress, calmly entered the kitchen and soon returned with a plate of food.

It was a dish made with eggs, yet unlike any egg dish she had ever tasted, using starch yet not in powder form but as a single mass, fried in lard yet soft, sweet without salt, and most importantly, it did not stick to the plate, chopsticks, or teeth.

Upon tasting the dish, the mother-in-law, with her white hair, pulled at it in frustration and screamed.

“How… how did you make such a dish!!”

“Well, I just did.”

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.

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And so, Kurt reminisced about the origin of Sanbujian.

‘The details might be off, but it’s roughly correct.’

In fact, there are various theories about the origin of Sanbujian, but this one is the most famous, and Kurt believed it to be the true story.

Actually, the latter part was entirely his creation.

As he reminisced, the tasting of Sanbujian had already concluded.

“What on earth is this dish, softer than a baby’s cheek!!”

“Chewy! Chewy!!”

“Ahhh! This isn’t food! How can such a texture exist in this world!! Call the Inquisitor of the Holy Kingdom!! We need a trial!! A trial!!”

The judges were going crazy.

Amidst the chaos, Kurt, with a stern expression, asked Shail, who was also tasting Sanbujian.

“This dish……”

“How is it? Isn’t this the dish you wanted?”

‘No. Not at all. What is this dish? I don’t know. What is it? It’s scary.’

Shail reflexively swallowed the words that were about to burst out.

No matter how much Kurt asked, ‘Well, this is it, right?’ Shail felt as if he had conjured it out of thin air, like a genie from a lamp.

This was akin to the shock of hearing about the release of smartphones after joking in the early 2000s about wanting a phone that could play MP3s, videos, games, with a storage capacity of at least tens of gigabytes, a screen of over 4 inches with HD resolution, and touch controls without physical buttons.

When Sanbujian first appeared, Shail thought it looked like pumpkin soup.

Its appearance, spread flat on a plate, seemed more like a highly viscous golden soup than a dish fried in oil.

However, when a spoon was lifted to touch it, instead of sinking in, it bounced back, springy and elastic.

Like a rubber pouch filled with water.

Changing utensils to a fork and knife, cutting it revealed a springy resistance, yet it easily broke into small pieces.

Lifting a small piece with a fork, contrary to the expected sticky feel, it separated smoothly from the plate.

Looking at the plate where the Sanbujian had been, surprisingly, only a slight oiliness remained, indicating its presence, but no crumbs were left.

But the surprise didn’t end there.

Putting it in the mouth and removing the fork, surprisingly, not even a small fragment of Sanbujian stuck to the fork.

Yet, even this second shock wasn’t the end.

Chewing it, it was springy yet chewy, chewy yet not sticky.

The glossy oiliness felt in Sanbujian wasn’t just a coating but integrated into the dish itself, maintaining a smooth texture throughout.

It had a chewy texture yet didn’t stick to the palate or teeth.

If one had to compare the texture, it was close to rice cake, but strictly speaking, it was a completely new kind of texture.

For Shail, who came from a culture that didn’t consume rice cakes, this was an entirely unknown shock.

But was Sanbujian just unique in texture with an unremarkable taste?

No, it wasn’t.

The soft yet chewy dish released more flavor the more it was chewed, with the strong sweetness of sugar and the rich, savory aroma of lard.

And crucially, holding these two different flavors together was the deep, mild taste of egg yolk.

The combination of these three created a sweet, chewy taste that was somehow familiar yet completely fresh.

Yes.

The taste was similar to custard cream.

After all, custard cream also uses sugar and egg yolk as its core, making a similar taste somewhat inevitable.

But when combined with Sanbujian’s unique texture, it felt entirely new.

The emotion Shail felt after finishing Sanbujian was neither despair over his plan failing nor the urgency to devise a new plan.

Just one emotion.

‘Far and high.’

There’s no room to analyze how this came to be. How such a taste. Such a cooking method.

When truly shocked, one loses the leisure to analyze the situation, simply lost in the sensation.

It was a wall.

Shail had sensed that Kurt’s cooking skills were ahead of his, but he never imagined the gap would be this vast.

‘How long has it been since I felt this emotion……’

Looking back, this level of shock was only the second time in his nearly fifty years of life.

The first was when Shail, having reached a level similar to Albert, was full of himself.

It was akin to the shock of facing the Empire’s Master and finally gauging his true capability.

Before, lacking the skill to assess the opponent’s strength, unaware of the vast gap, only after accumulating some skill did he begin to feel the opponent’s capability, realizing the enormous wall between them and feeling overwhelmed.

The first time he felt this emotion since then.

The moment he vaguely realized this, Shail felt something break inside him.

Ultimately, for the success of the ‘plan,’ he had even abandoned his pride, resorting to underhanded tactics.

But in the face of overwhelming skill, such tricks were futile.

‘…I see. This is your true strength.’

When he started the cooking battle with him, he looked down on him, thinking any underhanded method would suffice to crush him with skill.

‘In the end, it was I who, unable to withstand the urgency, resorted to underhanded tactics. And it was I who was squarely defeated by those tactics.’

Now he knows.

No matter what underhanded demands he makes.

For example, even if he demands an ice cream using mint and cocoa from the western continent.

Or a baking using pineapple and cheese.

He knows that no matter what unreasonable demands he makes, he will perfectly counter them.

“Well, then it’s my turn. Let’s see…… What dish should I ask for……”

“I’ve lost. My…… complete defeat.”

Thus, Shail calmly admitted his defeat.

“This isn’t bread! Nor meat! Not even fried or soup! How can such a dish exist! Ahhh!! Is this sensation I’m feeling truly reality!!”

“Soft! Soft!!”

“O almighty Black Tentacle, please protect me with your endless tentacles. O almighty Black Tentacle……”

Amidst the judges’ hysterics, this event unfolded.

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