The Reincarnated Villain Can Break the Fourth Wall!

Yu Feng's eye twitched so hard her soul almost left her body. If embarrassment could kill, she'd be a cold puddle by now.

"Can you—CAN you act like we don't know each other?" she hissed between clenched teeth, "They're working with a light-element priest. You want to get me exorcised?"

Su Xiaobai removed his hand—slowly, as if reluctant.

But not before his eyes flicked once more over her figure.

Plain illusion on the outside.

But beneath?

That waist.

Those hips.

That rear he just slapped.

Heh.

"Tch. I've been ignoring treasure in my own ring."

At that moment, Dong Lei stopped at a corner, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"Brother Su… Sister Feng… Although you both clearly have… some prior karma…"

His eyes didn't move, but his spirit sense definitely caught the ass slap.

"Perhaps we save the lovers' quarrel for after I introduce you to the rest of the squad?"

Su Xiaobai smiled, Yu Feng looked like she'd chew a tribulation cloud.

But both nodded.

____

The stairway finally ended.

The walls opened up.

And Su Xiaobai stopped walking.

"Holy sh—this is a tavern?"

The underground space stood like a hidden pleasure dome: glowing lanterns, spirit-forged walls inscribed with noise-dampening runes, and a vibe that screamed 'You might die, but you'll die tipsy and horny.'

It was a cultivator pub—with demon-girl flair.

- Demi-human girls in bunny robes were literally spitting flames from their mouths as they twirled on stage poles.

- A harpy songstress in full bird-girl glory belted out a sultry power ballad from the main stage, her feathers shimmering under formation lights.

- Servers dressed in modest-yet-sinfully-tight robes floated through the room like butterflies armed with trays of spirit wine and enchanted snacks.

It was a den of rogue cultivators, mercenaries, and beastkin degenerates.

And Su Xiaobai?

Instantly felt at home.

Dong Lei led them to a corner booth—spacious, semi-private, lined in black cloud-pattern leather.

Five people sat around it already.

Each one radiated "I have a backstory" energy.

Shi Yan.

Age — Probably 200.

Cultivation — Spirit Severing Realm.

Style — Light Church.

Appearance — He wore a glowing red mane, a chiseled jaw, literal fairytale knight armor, and golden blonde hair.

What the fuck—who made him a priest?

Su Xiaobai blinked.

This man looked like a paladin who'd walked off the cover of a holy cultivation romance drama. Golden blade across his back. Sparkling white smile.

The handshake was firm.

The eyes were not.

'Fake ass Light Church dog,' Su Xiaobai thought. 'Blonde... handsome... humble… definitely my enemy.'

Because if there's one thing the author liked more than random power-ups, it was inserting a fake noble blonde dude to contrast with Su Xiaobai's villain vibes.

Shi Yan smiled even brighter when he looked at Yu Feng.

"A pleasure to meet a soul cultivator," he said, bowing slightly.

Su Xiaobai rolled his eyes so hard they cut through two minor dimensions.

Second — Lan Tian

Age, unclear.

Cultivation — Soul Fusion Realm.

Style — Darkness & Shadow Techniques.

Identity — Yunmu Clan Descendant.

Appearance — Slightly darker skin, a gloomy aura, and the trademark "betrayal brows."

Su Xiaobai squinted.

Yup, cunning face, moody eyes, forehead tattoo glowing with ominous runes.

Instantly tagged:

'Mid-journey betrayal flag. Will try to backstab me near a soul-devouring shrine. Possibly has mommy issues.'

Lan Tian said nothing. He merely nodded.

That alone made him more suspicious.

Third — Ku Rong

Cultivation — Red Demon, Cleaver Class.

Role — Hidden Undercover Muscle.

The crimson-skinned behemoth sat silently, eyes flicking to Su Xiaobai like a puppy who wanted to bark "Young Master!" but was trained not to.

Su Xiaobai subtly raised a brow.

Ku Rong got the message. Stay quiet, stay scary.

He resumed gnawing a spiritual bone like a bored death god.

Last — Nalan Yufei.

Race: Elf

Age: ???

Role: Archer / Forest Guide

Cultivation: Unclear. But strong.

Appearance: Gray hair, emerald eyes, high elf cheekbones that screamed "noble and will step on you." She wore tight black leathers, bow slung on her back, and gave off "ex-girlfriend energy with better thighs."

Dong Lei coughed.

"This is Yufei. You can call her Feifei. She doesn't like being called old."

Nalan Yufei narrowed her eyes and slapped her wine cup down with a glare.

"I'm not old. I'm experienced. I'm only 150!"

Su Xiaobai smiled innocently.

"Hello, Little Elf."

"Don't—!"

She bit her lip, ears twitching in fury. The flush rising to her cheeks was not qi.

Dong Lei facepalmed.

Su Xiaobai, between sips of his wine, studied the group dynamic.

Shi Yan and Lan Tian were both clearly stronger than Dong Lei. Even the elf probably had more killing power.

So why was Dong Lei leading?

Ah.

'He's the dumb glue guy,' Su Xiaobai realized. 'The one everyone tolerates. He buys food. He arranges lodging. He has no hidden agenda because he's just... big.'

The gentle fool archetype.

Useful.

Expendable.

___

As Su Xiaobai sat, a faint smirk curled on his lips.

Because now it was obvious.

Dong Lei wasn't a leader.

He was a meat mountain with enthusiasm.

The kind of guy who recruited Ku Rong by arm-wrestling him, called it "reliable strength," and genuinely thought that was equivalent to a spiritual background check.

In summary?

A perfect idiot.

The type who'd heroically throw himself into a spiritual explosion to save the squad...

And take the healer with him.

At the table:

- Shi Yan, Spirit Severing Realm, holy knight with fake modesty, hiding Light Church holy-kill-everything scripts under his armor. Likely racist.

- Lan Tian, Soul Fusion Realm, Yunmu curse-baby, guaranteed to betray someone—possibly himself.

- Yu Feng, Disguised, pissed-off, sex-starved dark church saintess currently pretending to be a normal girl. Hah.

- Dong Lei, Nascent Soul, spiritual himbo, muscles for brains.

- Ku Rong, Su Xiaobai's red demon warhound pretending to be a silent dog.

- Nalan Yufei, Elf, Hot, Deadly, 150 years old. Hates being called old. Might shoot Su Xiaobai mid-mission just for fun.

- And Su Xiaobai, Supposedly Earthly Rebirth realm. Actually stronger than everyone except Shi Yan. Possibly stronger than him too, if annoyed enough.

If a historian wrote down this team, it'd sound like the setup to a dark sect joke.

Dong Lei stood up, face grim like he was delivering a eulogy instead of a mission briefing.

"Well… since everyone's here, let's discuss the mission."

He glanced around, solemn.

"This Lost City expedition is classified as high-risk. You've probably heard—Crimson Thunder Mercenary Group went in last month."

"..."

"They were all wiped out."

Someone in the back choked on spirit wine.

Dong Lei continued.

"But they lacked something crucial… what we have."

'Plot armor?' Su Xiaobai muttered under his breath, sipping his drink.

Dong Lei reached into his robes and pulled out a parchment wrapped in spiritual seals.

"A map. Passed down from Lan Tian's ancestors. Marked with death beast zones, spiritual traps, terrain shifts… even the coordinates of the Lost City's entrance."

Lan Tian said nothing, but his smug smirk twitched like he was trying not to grin.

Su Xiaobai squinted at the map from across the table.

That paper was too clean. No creases. No scent of spiritual decay.

'You expect me to believe that's ancestral? My grandpa's pills look older than that.'

Still, everyone nodded like obedient

disciples during a lecture.

Dong Lei pressed on.

"All rewards from the expedition—spirit treasures, relics, or legacy items—will be shared equally among all of us."

Shi Yan smiled like a saint.

Lan Tian nodded like a traitor.

Yu Feng didn't even smile.

Su Xiaobai just said, "Sure."

Which meant only one thing.

Everyone here was lying together, beautifully.

Translation: I'll take everything once you're all dead.

Pa! Pa!

Dong Lei clapped his hands together like a mortal tour guide.

"Good. Then tomorrow morning—east gate of Qingxie Port. At dawn."

Everyone split off.

Some left to prep.

Some to drink.

Some to mentally prepare for their future corpses.

Su Xiaobai didn't leave.

He slid into a more relaxed posture at the bar, twirling his spirit wine—'Green Immortal Spirit', fruity and overpriced.

He took a sip, mind turning gears.

"That map's too clean. If it's from Lan Tian's ancestors, then they printed it yesterday."

Behind him, Ku Rong was forcefully relocated after being accused of "disruptive energy." (Translation: Nalan Yufei just didn't want his demon aura near her wine.)

The elf?

Didn't.

Nalan Yufei—white-haired, robed in tight forest-silk robes—slid into the seat next to him without invitation.

She didn't speak at first.

Just ordered the same wine.

Two cups of 'Green Immortal Spirit Wine' between them.

She sipped.

He sipped.

He didn't speak.

She didn't either.

They just... observed each other, like two apex predators at the same watering hole.

Finally—

"From a sect?"

Nalan Yufei leaned closer, her voice dripping with lazy interest.

Her gaze shimmered like spring dew on a poisoned leaf, eyes just seductive enough to qualify as illegal in three kingdoms.

It was the classic flirt-probe: Cute. Calm. Calculated.

But before her mind-gears could even shift into seductive deduction mode—

BAM.

Su Xiaobai turned to her, deadpan.

Didn't flinch.

Didn't blink.

Just vocal slapped her logic across the face.

"Yes," he said, sharp as a sword edge.

"And now what? I'm supposed to ask how you guessed?"

"Then you'd give me that smug little breakdown—how I'm too calm for a death mission, how I wear robes too nice to be poor, but walk alone with no guards, so I'm not from some rich clan."

"So you'd conclude: sect-trained. On a solo adventure. Probably bored. Probably talented. Probably dangerous."