The Returnee’s Guild Must Grow Properly

So, not only was this the Hero’s shop, but the Grand Duke was working part-time here. The situation was so ridiculous, I couldn’t help but let out a hollow laugh.

Just then, the light tapping of knuckles on the table accompanied the Grand Duke’s voice.
“Ready to take your order.”

“…What?”

“Your order. What would you like?”

The Grand Duke flashed me a wide grin.
“You told me to come take your order, didn’t you?”

|Northern Grand Duke|: Leave.

Oh, this little punk.

A silent message attack, huh?

The Grand Duke stood there smiling like an angel. I smiled right back and replied.
“Endless cocktails, and let’s start with fries for snacks.”

“Sure, ma’am.”

|Northern Grand Duke|: Cheese balls are better than fries, though.

“…And add some cheese balls.”

“Of course.”

With a grin that threatened to split his face, he repeated the order.
“Two endless cocktails, fries, and cheese balls, correct?”

“Yes,” Seoha and I replied in unison, nodding.

“What would you like for your first cocktails?”

“A Screwdriver and a Kahlúa Milk.”

He noted the order with a smile, picked up the menu, and said,
“Coming right up.”

|Northern Grand Duke|: By the way, the boss wants to see you for a moment.

Oh, for crying out loud.

I felt my forced smile twitching. Watching the Grand Duke walk back toward the counter, I stood up from my seat.

“Bathroom break,” I said.

“Got it,” Seoha replied casually.

As the evening deepened, more customers began trickling into the shop. Weaving past a couple searching for seats, I made my way to the counter.

“You’re here?”

Leaning against a display shelf lined with empty bottles, the Hero greeted me. I scowled in annoyance.

“Did you really want to acknowledge me here of all places?”

“Of course not!”

A golden magic circle briefly appeared around us before vanishing. Soundproofing? Spatial distortion? Whatever it was, the area felt sealed off.

I leaned against the same shelf, mirroring her, and grumbled.
“If you didn’t want to acknowledge me, then why call me over?”

The Hero frowned at my question.
“Why did you come to my shop? What’s your purpose here?”

“Purpose?”

I started to dismiss her suspicion but clamped my mouth shut.
Oh, so that’s what this is. They’ve seriously misunderstood something.

For the record, I didn’t even know this was the Hero’s shop. If I had, I wouldn’t have been so surprised to see her. Are they ignoring the fact that I was clearly shocked when I walked in?

In any case, this works out for me. I’m under no obligation to clear up their misunderstanding.

I grinned widely, and the Hero and Grand Duke flinched, glancing at each other uneasily.

The Hero spoke first.
“Yoo Daegong told me you’re holding something over him.”

At this, the Grand Duke cried out indignantly.
“I’m already taking care of it by doing requests! That’s why I was late for my shift today!”

“So, did you come here as a customer just to dig up dirt on me?”

Honestly, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind—but thanks for the idea.

I smirked and asked casually,
“Hero, your shop opens at 9 a.m., right?”

“Why are we suddenly talking about this?”

“And you close at 2 a.m.?”

“Wait, why are we…”

“Closed on Mondays.”

“……!”

The Hero’s surprised expression was priceless, as if she couldn’t fathom how I’d noticed that. I flashed her a wide grin.

“Grand Duke, wouldn’t it be great to have one more person taking on requests?”

“…It would, I guess?”

The Grand Duke hesitated, but under the Hero’s sharp glare, he quickly added,
“But you’ve been handling everything fine on your own so far!”

Oh, he did not just say that.

I fought the urge to smack him over the head with one of the empty bottles on the display shelf. Descartes, Kant—patrons of reason, lend me strength!

After taking a deep breath, I tilted my head arrogantly and raised one corner of my mouth in a smirk.

“Hero, you’re taking all requests on Mondays from now on. I’m not saying do everything—just split them evenly between the Grand Duke and me.”

“Why should I?”

I knew she’d react like this.

To the untrained eye, one might think she scheduled her shop’s Monday closure to rest her exhausted body after managing a business. But no, not the Hero. She closed the shop just to lounge around.

Even now, I, bearing the title of Saintess, was mentally exhausted beyond belief, yet here she was, fresh as a daisy, despite having no healing-related abilities whatsoever.

“Hero,” I said, pulling my phone out of my pocket. I slipped the case off, letting a black card drop into my hand. Picking it up, I showed it to her with a flourish.

“Want to see a landlord throw their weight around?”

“What?”

My older brother runs Haun, one of Korea’s top five guilds, and my younger brother backs him up.

In a world where Gates and dungeons pop up like weeds, the most lucrative profession is Hunter. And my family? We’ve got two of the best Hunters in the business. Naturally, we’re loaded.

This card, a gift I received as a graduation present, had seemed unnecessary at the time. Little did I know I’d end up attending university like it was elementary school… How unfair.

Imitating the grin of that pesky demon I dealt with recently, I threatened,
“I could buy this entire building and jack up the rent.”

“……”

The Grand Duke muttered under his breath, “Demon…” I made a show of mouthing back, Oh, you flatter me.

“……”

The Grand Duke covered his face with his hands, defeated. Satisfied, I slid the black card back into its case.

“You…”

The Hero’s voice dripped with fury as I tilted my head innocently. Her face twisted in frustration.

“Guild Master, you’re a rich girl?”

“Add ‘self-made’ in front of that.”

The Grand Duke leaned toward the Hero and whispered loud enough for me to hear,
“Our Guild Master is the younger sibling of Haun’s Guild Master, you know. Haun’s leader is known as a benevolent angel, but our Guild Master… well…”

“Shut it.”

“Yessir.”

Satisfied that I’d silenced him, I turned to leave.

“So, Mondays are yours now, Hero.”

I walked out of the magical barrier but stopped and turned back with a bright smile.
“Oh, and by the way, my friend said you give out lots of freebies when regulars bring their friends. You know what I mean, right?”

“If I’d known their friend was you, I’d never have said that!”

Feigning innocence, I replied cheerfully,
“Well, what’s done is done.”

Crash!

One of the empty bottles on the shelf shattered. The Hero’s fist was unscathed.

The Grand Duke and I froze, staring at the shards on the floor. He stammered,
“S-sir…?”

“I should’ve ignored the Hero’s duty nonsense and never agreed to this!!”

Her enraged shout sent me sprinting back to my seat.

“You’re back?”

“Yeah. Just washed my hands.”

I glanced toward the counter and saw the Grand Duke trying to calm the Hero. The display shelf, previously shattered in anger, had been neatly restored.

Click. Seoha snapped a picture of the shop’s interior, then tilted her head as she looked toward the counter.

“Why’s the booze taking so long?”

“It’s going to be a bit late.”

“Why?”

Because I might have pissed off the boss a little.

I grinned while munching on a pretzel that another part-timer—not the Grand Duke—had brought over. Ah, capitalism. Truly the pinnacle of human achievement.

|Hero|: Guild Master.
|Hero|: I didn’t know you were the type to abuse your power.

|Northern Grand Duke|: Abuse of power? She’s just a terrible person in general!!

I ignored the messages popping up in my field of view and clinked glasses with Seoha.

|9th Circle Archmage|: Why are you guys suddenly ganging up on our Guild Master?

Oh? You’re defending me for once?

|9th Circle Archmage|: She’s a power-abusing, awful Guild Master who keeps making me portal her around like a shuttle service. Stop it, pleaseㅠ.

Ah, there it is. I knew better than to hope.

“How is it? Good, right?” Seoha asked.

“It’s bitter.”

“Right? It’s amazing!”

No, it’s actually just bitter.

Clicking my tongue, I put my glass down.

“Let me try yours!” Seoha said excitedly.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Why~!”

Because this is basically poison.

That damned Grand Duke had asked me what I wanted to drink, and I had told him without a second thought. The jerk brought me this instead.

|Pr. Godslayer (Guild Master)|: The drinks here are so bitter. ^^?

|Hero|: It’s so you can experience the bitterness of life.

I’ve already experienced plenty of life’s bitterness—both in Gloria and here, thank you very much.

As I grimaced at the taste, Seoha asked worriedly,
“Haun, you sure it’s good?”

“Yeah. It’s amazing,” I replied lifelessly, draining the glass. The harshness burned my throat, but not a hint of inebriation followed.

[Authority, ‘Detox,’ has been activated.]

The Saintess title was hard at work.

Seoha, mid-sip, widened her eyes in shock as she looked at me.
“Haun!!”

“It’s good. Another round.”

“Do Haun, are you crazy?!”

I calmly reassured her I wasn’t and waved over the Grand Duke. He approached hesitantly, his eyes darting around in disbelief. He blinked a few times, then finally opened his mouth, his voice trembling.

“…What can I get you?”

|Pr. Northern Grand Duke|: Are you insane?! Did you seriously drink all of that?!

“The same thing, please. One more.”

|Pr. Godslayer (Guild Master)|: ^^( ︶ ͜ʖ ︶)_╭∩╮

Sending him the message, I popped another pretzel into my mouth. The Grand Duke, still visibly horrified, walked off without a word.

Clicking my tongue, I muttered,
“They need to retrain the staff here.”

“You’re acting like such a nightmare customer,” Seoha said with a laugh.

I shrugged.

Then came a light knock, knock on the table. I turned my head.

It wasn’t the Grand Duke standing there this time.