The Secretary of the Northern Grand Duchess Has Run Away

Chapter 2:  First Test (1)

When I was young, I realized one truth about the world.

「It was wealth and honor.」

Humans needed wealth to live honorably.

And only with honor did wealth follow.

It was my father who taught me this truth, that the two complemented each other.

Julius Robin.

Thanks to his handsome looks and exceptional swordsmanship, he had been a mercenary highly popular in the Empire.

But he wasn’t simply a knight who relied on his good looks.

On the surface, he proclaimed justice, but in reality, he carefully selected only the battlefields where he could distinguish himself.

「My son, what matters in honor is not the process of obtaining it.」

No matter the means by which you gained it, everyone would applaud in the end.

That was how Father eventually used every method at his disposal to secure the knighthood title of ‘quasi-baron.’

Yet he hadn’t been satisfied with that alone.

Once he gained a title, Father began participating in wars even more frequently, as if he had been waiting for the opportunity.

Because as a knight, he could claim more spoils than others, and those quickly accumulated into ‘wealth.’

When the wealth piled up, a mansion and fine tailored suits naturally followed as luxuries.

Through these, Father built connections. At last, he rose to become one of the honorable knights of this place, Nord.

Thanks to him, I too had been able to enroll in the academy attended by nobles.

Afterward, every morning when I left for school, Father always gave me this advice.

「My son, no matter what happens, you must never lose your wealth and honor.」

I grew deeply displeased by those words I’d heard so often they wore out my ears.

So, attending the academy, I would sometimes counter with the famous sayings I learned.

“But Father, at school, they taught us that the most important thing is a person’s ‘inner self.’”

Father silently listened to me.

Then, with a soft laugh, he reached out and patted the top of my head.

「The inner self of a human, huh…. But what will you do if no one wants to see that ‘inner self’」

“They don’t want to see it…?”

「No matter how beautiful your inner self may be, if the other person isn’t interested, it means nothing.」

While I fumbled for words, I soon came to understand.

To share one’s inner self, one first had to become close to the other person.

「The first step in any relationship does not begin with the person’s ‘inner self,’ but with their ‘outer self.’」

Father brushed off the fine dust clinging to his luxurious jacket.

Then, with his hands clasped behind his back, he looked up at his elegant mansion.

「Remember this well. The inner self is something you can only show when the other person truly comes to need you.」

A beautiful woman would bring happiness each morning she woke by your side.

And a capable man would, simply by remaining nearby, provide the feeling that you were sharing in his superiority.

「Perhaps it was something far more luxurious than wealth and honor.」

“Yes… I will remember.”

I agreed to Father’s words, and from that moment on, I pursued wealth and honor.

However, I did not choose to become a knight as he had.

Even Father, who had been remarkably gifted in swordsmanship, had not been able to win every battle.

The modest achievements he had gradually built crumbled swiftly after defeat in a major war between the two nations.

Once he lost the title of ‘undefeated in a hundred battles,’ what remained for him was…

Merely the status of a ‘once-prominent knight’ now approaching retirement.

Perhaps it was because I had witnessed, so vividly, the way my father, who had been far more talented in swordsmanship than I, had collapsed.

Instead of taking the path of a knight, I began seeking other means to rise in the world.

It was then that the Grand Duke of the North, the ‘Luton family,’ extended a hand of salvation to us.

Thanks to Father’s past ties, when he had served as a mercenary, I was given the chance to gain employment there.

Serving the most authoritative person in the Empire.

It was the ‘secretary position’ of the ducal household.

However, one could not become a secretary right from the start.

There were dozens of other boys taken in, just like me.

And among them, only one could become the secretary of the Grand Duke of the North.

After enduring every conceivable hardship, I alone survived and became the chief secretary.

But the position of chief secretary, whatever wealth it might offer, was utterly distant from ‘honor.’

From cleaning up after the reckless misdeeds of the young heirs…

To sorting and disposing of the countless bribes and lobbying attempts that arrived at the household.

They called me the steward of the family, but in truth, I was little better than a cleaner.

I did become, as Father had said, a person they ‘needed,’ but that didn’t mean we shared any honest conversations.

Even if they didn’t bother to show it, the heirs’ inner selves were far more rotten and decayed than I’d imagined.

My soul, with nowhere left to go, wandered aimlessly.

I felt pangs of conscience over every wicked deed I’d abetted, and gradually, I was consumed by doubt.

That I was severed as the tail of Eric, who had become the next Grand Duke of the North…

Perhaps that, too, was divine punishment.

At the moment when death lay right before me,

Regrettably, someone finally came who shared the ‘inner self’ Father had spoken of.

「I always thought you were my true family….」

But it was far, far too late.

The time allowed to us was far too short.

Echina.

It had taken me such a long time just to realize her existence.

If I were given a second life, I wished to meet the Grand Duchess again and sincerely apologize.

And…

「I would leave this ducal house behind without any lingering regret.」

――――――.

From within pitch-black darkness, I heard someone’s voice.

「Tobang Arman.」

“Yes.”

He was calling someone in order, one by one.

As if he were taking attendance.

「Windsor Confield.」

“Yes.”

At the repeated voice, I slowly opened my eyes.

What unfolded before me was a familiar ceiling.

“....”

No—more than familiar, it was a place I was sick to death of seeing.

It was the ceiling of the Luton mansion I had managed for ten years.

‘What is this…?’

When I raised my body, every part of me ached.

At first, I thought it was the aftereffect of the deadly poison I’d drunk before dying.

But when I came to my senses and looked into the bathroom mirror,

My lips parted, yet no words came out.

“What on earth….”

The reflection in the mirror.

That appearance was no longer the chief secretary of the Grand Duke’s household.

「Julius Roger.」

What I saw in front of my eyes now was myself from ten years ago.

Back when I was just a secretary candidate, looking like I’d been beaten half to death by someone.

My white dress shirt was stained all over with dirty shoe prints.

On top of that, my hair was a tangled mess and my lips were split and bruised blue.

Though the pain from drinking poison was gone, the bruises were severe enough that my brow furrowed.

「Has Julius Roger not arrived yet?」

From outside came a stern voice calling for me.

Realizing that this was ten years in the past, I instantly recognized who it was.

「Late to the practical exam… You have no discipline.」

Following the cold, scornful voice, I limped out of the bathroom.

Because my instincts remembered that I must not fall out of his favor.

I pulled open the door marked with the black lion—the symbol of the Luton family.

Soon, the grand lobby of the old mansion came into view.

“You’re late, Julius Roger.”

Four secretary candidates stood in a line at the center.

Standing before them was the tall figure of the chief secretary.

Debier Luton.

My predecessor as chief secretary and the first of the underlings to be granted the ducal surname.

“Four minutes late.”

At the sight of me approaching from afar, he spoke in an icy voice.

With his hands clasped behind his back, he looked like an eagle gazing down at its prey from the heights.

“What is the meaning of that attire?”

The highest-ranking secretary of the Grand Duke’s household pointed not to my injured face but to my disheveled clothes, which he considered far more disgraceful.

His sharp gaze gleamed beneath the dark shadow of his eyes.

“Looks like he slipped and fell in a toilet or something.”

The candidates who had arrived earlier and were standing at attention snickered.

Especially that bastard Tobang, who raised his fist and shook it at me.

‘So it was him.’

On his knuckles were bruises left from striking someone.

However, I made no reply or appeal to Debier about it.

“I wasn’t asking you, Tobang Arman.”

Yes.

If you opened your mouth so carelessly like that, you were bound to be reprimanded.

“Smiling so easily before the exam, are you? You will lose 1 point.”

A secretary must never reveal emotions so readily while on duty.

That fool had failed at the most basic of basics.

“I’m sorry….”

Especially when facing Debier, you had to be as silent as possible, never making excuses or offering explanations.

Even though this had been ten years ago, he remained so vivid in my memory because he was such an imposing figure.

“No matter the reason, to appear in this state on the day of the practical exam.”

As expected, the chief secretary showed not the slightest curiosity about how I’d ended up injured.

He merely scribbled indifferently with the quill pen he held.

“Improper attire and tardiness. Julius Roger, minus 2 points out of 10.”

“I accept it without complaint.”

Bowing my head, I calmly accepted the penalty.

Whenever you needed to hide your expression and think of something else, this was the way to do it.

‘Of all days to wake up, why did it have to be the day of Debier’s exam….’

And on top of that, I’d already been penalized at the start.

Thanks to that, the haze in my mind cleared in an instant.

So, for now, I decided to focus all my attention on the situation before me.

“Since time has been wasted, I will inform you of the test rules at once.”

A middle-aged man in a perfectly tailored suit.

With black hair streaked with white slicked back, he clasped his hands behind him.

Then he pointed toward the grand entrance of the main house that stood behind us.

“Today, you will be given the honor of serving the young masters and mistresses of the Luton family for the first time.”

The first reception test.

It was likely one of the greatest trials a secretary candidate would face.

Held once per quarter, for a total of four times, each graded out of ten points.

There was no precise cut-off score.

No matter your score, if any of the young nobles took a liking to you, they could designate you as their secretary.

However, if your total score over the year failed to exceed thirty points…

You would be eliminated from the official candidate list.

And since I’d already been docked two points from the start, it was an enormous penalty.

“The exam will run from 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.”

Debier uncrossed his hands and handed each of us a small slip of paper.

On it were our names and scorecards.

“When the test is over, the young masters and mistresses you served will record your scores here.”

When he placed the paper in my hand, saliva pooled in my mouth automatically.

This familiar, ruthless scorecard.

It was exactly like the one I had once clung to so desperately in my quest to become chief secretary.

“These scores can never be changed.”

Thanks to that, I could feel the reality of my situation sink in completely.

That this might not simply be a fleeting vision before death, but truly ten years in the past.

That was how harsh the training and examinations under Debier had been.

“Therefore, for the next three hours, you will provide the young masters and mistresses with the highest level of service.”

He was the chief secretary who had served the ducal family for over thirty years.

He looked over each of our faces, his cold voice delivering a warning.

His expression made it clear—if we provoked the nobles’ displeasure, we had better be prepared for the consequences.

“Then, do your utmost for the ones you are assigned to.”

All the candidates responded in loud voices.

I also joined in, reading the mood.

“Yes, understood!!”

Debier looked down at the silver pocket watch strapped to his wrist.

The current time was 11:30 a.m.

From now on, the young lord and lady would be arriving to present their midday greetings to the head of the family.

「――――――.」

To make us feel the weight of the practical exam, the chief secretary stepped aside.

Without so much as a glance back, he climbed the central staircase, wordlessly making it known he would offer no assistance to anyone.

Thanks to that, only the five secretary candidates were left standing in the vast lobby.

We faced the grand entrance of the mansion, waiting for the highest nobility of the North to arrive at any moment.

“....”

Perhaps because it had been so long since I stood in a place of competition together with everyone else,

my heart, which had long been still, began to beat again.

But soon, I realized the true reason my chest was swelling with emotion.

‘Then… could it be that I will see her again…?’

The woman who would soon step through that door.

She who had seemed so indifferent outwardly, yet had been the one person who truly trusted me, would soon arrive.