Chapter 26: Internal Criss
Tanya stood outside in the garden, the morning breeze brushing through her hair, sunlight flickering through the trees like a lazy disco ball. The door slammed behind her, but the echo of the argument still throbbed in her chest.
She hated this. The gnawing pit of regret. The heat curling in her gut.
The ridiculous, suffocating weight of feelings. Why was she even feeling so much?
Her nails dug into her palms..
Why did it bother her so much that her father looked at her like that?
Like she was a burden. A mess.
Why did it burn to know he loved Sonya and Keira easier than he ever did her?
Why am I even this upset? These feelings… none of this should matter.
She kicks a stone.
It's just him. He doesn't love me like he should. Never did. Never will.
Stupid, stupid feeling.
I shouldn't care, she thought bitterly. I'm better than this.
The me form before wouldn't have cared about anything or anyone.
God, you're dumb. Came a voice sharp and smug as ever.
"What now, Casey?"
Casey's voice, her ever-present internal saboteur-slash-roommate, sighed with exaggerated disappointment.
You still haven't figured it out, huh? You keep acting like Tanya from the future and this-world Tanya are two separate people.
Hate to break it to you. Your one package.
Same messy emotional core, now with extra hormones and sparkles.
Tanya scowled. "Sparkles?"
Casey chuckled. You have noticed you're more emotional, right?
Letting Keira hug you without stabbing her. And being nice to the help. That's not the old you.
Tanya's lips twisted in reluctant thought. Damn it. She had softened. The old her… God, she was a monster.
She remembered with perfect clarity.
Firing an entire analytics team via meme slideshow.
Creating a fake activist campaign to crash a rival's stock… while buying the dip and flipping it for profit.
Bribing a fashion magazine to make a rival look like a swamp witch during Fashion Week.
Replacing an entire department with AI just to win a bet.
Once bought out a competitor's office building and turned it into a pet grooming spa… and sent a free grooming voucher to every former employee.
And yes… she once made an intern cry just to test if the PR team could spin it. (They failed. She fired them too.)
She'd been ruthless.
Innovative.
Brilliant.
Dead inside.
Now? She actually felt bad about yelling at her dad.
She'd enjoyed Keira last night.
And she hadn't verbally eviscerated Mary Poppins for daring to go against her.
"Am I going soft?" She muttered, half to herself.
Casey snorted. Maybe a little…
But you're also, dare I say it… fun now. You laugh. You scheme with style.
You still scare people, but now they want to invite you to brunch afterward.
Tanya rolled her eyes and sighed, pressing her palms against her temples. "Ugh. This is too much emotional crap for one morning."
"I'll deal with my personality crisis later."
Much better. Casey said brightly.
But are we still going through with the plan today? You know, Operation… what did we call it? 'Money Grab'?
Tanya grimaced. "That name was awful."
Right? You wanted 'Operation Loot & Ruin.' I voted for 'Crisis Harvest.'
Tanya smiled slowly, wickedly. "How about… 'DarkOdds'?"
Casey gasped. Ooh. That sounds illegal.
"Exactly," Tanya said with a smirk.
And cringy…
Tanya ignored the comment.
She pulled out her watch, custom, black titanium with gold trim.
She turned it in the light, admiring the shimmer of luxury. Her reflection grinned back.
She flicked the watch face once.
"Let's get this party started."