The Supreme Archbishop of Fontaine

The game launched.

As a gaming streamer, Axue naturally didn't miss Genshin Impact, a game that had been hyped nonstop for a month with global marketing campaigns so extravagant it seemed money was being burned for fun. The game was also a hot topic everywhere. As a streamer, there was no way she'd skip it.

And the game didn't disappoint.

After booting it up, watching the opening cinematic, and choosing the female Traveler (why pick the brother? Who does that?), Axue dove into the story. Following Paimon's guidance, she experimented with the game's freedom—peeking under the Traveler's skirt.

"Ugh, bad review! White's my favorite, but why the safety shorts?!"

「666」

「Axue, you perv!」

「Did the same thing lol.」

"But wow, this game is actually open-world! First time I've seen one where you can adjust the camera angle to peek… even if it turns transparent past a point. At least you can see the color and style!"

Ignoring her chat's teasing, Axue marveled at the exploration, combat, and fruit-picking mechanics. When asked about the payment system, she checked Paimon's menu.

"Huh? No top-up interface? Is this really free? Wait, these Primogems… Chat, I bet this 'Genesis Crystal' currency is bought with real money. But the shop's locked. Maybe it unlocks later?"

Axue didn't mind spending money if the game deserved it—and so far, it did. The freedom alone hooked her.

"Where are the skills? Astrea's PV mentioned Elemental Skills and Bursts. Do characters start without them? How do you unlock them? And how do you get new characters?"

Pushing through the story to find answers, Axue soon encountered the dragon from the PV.

"Whoa! We're fighting a dragon this early?!"

The cutscene showed a boy talking to the dragon, only for it to flee after sensing the Traveler's Anemo energy.

"Boo! Ran away? Thought we'd throw hands!"

After collecting the mysterious red crystal, a new quest appeared:

"The Water Knight's Plea."

Then—

"H-Help! Lady Furina!"

"SHE'S HERE!"

「SHE'S HERE!」

「The loli has arrived!」

「So soon?!」

「PV star already in the story?!」

The chat erupted. Axue perked up—Astrea, the white-haired, red-eyed loli from the PV, had taken the internet by storm. Her design was stunning, delicate, and irresistibly charming. Axue, who usually skipped dialogue, vowed to savor every second of this scene.

Following the quest marker, Axue found Astrea cowering under a trio of Hydro Slimes.

"Look! The Hydro Archon's knight candidate isn't a fraud—she hasn't lost a single HP! OP as hell, just like the Supreme Archbishop promised!"

"Her cries are so cute… I could listen forever."

"Can I hug her? Please?"

"Hold on, chat—let me admire this a bit longer."

"Those tiny feet… I wanna nibble them."

「Wipe your drool!」

「Officer, arrest this woman!」

「Poor Astrea…」

「Don't worry, Uncle's logging in to save you!」

After milking the moment, Axue finally stepped in as the Traveler to fight the slimes.

In the real Teyvat, Lumine wasn't as shameless—she rushed to save Astrea immediately.

Watching through Astrea's perspective, Ye sighed for the Abyss—another lost 50/50 to the male Traveler. Why's Lumine's pull rate so low?!

But since Ye wasn't Abyss-aligned, he celebrated: Yay! Got Lumine in one pull!

Taking control of Astrea, Ye played her part.

"Th-thank you, big sister…"

Astrea sniffled, tearfully clutching Lumine's sleeve. The Traveler's heart raced.

Too cute!

Players worldwide combusted.

"My wallet's doomed! This is how they monetize the game?!" Axue clutched her chest dramatically. "I HAVE to buy this character!! How much will she cost?!"

「Where's the top-up?! Shut up and take my money!」

「Mihoyo wins… I'll pay!」

「Knew it wasn't really free. Just tell me how to get Astrea!!!」

Eager to unlock Astrea, Axue sped through the dialogue.

'Who are you?'

'Why are you here?'

She picked the second option.

"B-big sister… I'm Astrea from Fontaine. I just arrived in Mondstadt."

Paimon gasped. "Fontaine? That's far! How'd you get here?"

"I walked… for my trial, assigned by the Supreme Archbishop."

"Alone? What trial?"

"I'm… the Hydro Archon's guardian knight candidate. But I'm just a trainee now."

"You? The Hydro Archon's knight?!" Paimon blinked.

"I-I know I'm not worthy!" Astrea hung her head. "I'm scared, weak, and useless… I can't even beat Hydro Slimes. But the Supreme Archbishop chose me anyway. I want to make Lady Furina proud… but it's too hard."

"Don't say that! Slimes are pure elementals—you're Hydro too! Of course you can't hurt them without a weapon!"

Astrea sighed. "I wish I were strong like you, big sister…"

"Regrets! I'm restarting with the brother!"

Another streamer, Big Horse, slammed his desk and restarted as Aether. Reaching the scene, he melted as Astrea called him "big brother."

"This voice… I'm buying her NO MATTER WHAT!"

At this point, everyone assumed Astrea was a paid character. Little did they know—she was a Standard Banner pull, cursed by 50/50s and no guarantee. Mihoyo's future roast sessions were inevitable.

But Ye didn't care. His first alt was Standard? Blame the system.

With his scripted scene done, Ye refocused.

Now… off to Inazuma.

But since its Waypoints were locked, he'd need to go through Liyue first.

Closing his eyes, Ye teleported to Liyue Harbor.