The Trashy Pd Has To Survive As an Idol: 문찐 [139+]

When you clicked on the teaser video, as THE DUN entered the studio, a banner unfolded and flower petals scattered.

[I ♡ THE DUN]

Recently, he hadn't been showing his face much in live broadcasts, only occasionally appearing in self-produced content. On top of that, his already pale skin looked even more sickly, sparking rumors among fans about whether he was ill.

But the moment the camera caught Seo Hoyun, everyone was too busy admiring him.

"Hello, I'm Hoyun from THE DAWN."

Though his irritable and sharp demeanor from days of poor condition showed through, Seo Hoyun softly smiled every time he met the camera's gaze.

[He seriously looks so delicate;;]

During this inactive period, the fans (Noeuls) eagerly gathered up what little content there was.

[Seonghyeon looks kind of edgy today.

He must've suffered from Hoyun again.

└Yeah yeah… no doubt about it.

└└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

The teaser video covered Seo Hoyun syndrome and THE DUN's popularity.

The Noeuls, watching on with adoration, were soon shocked by what came next.

[Title: Jelly Revolution teaser is freaking hilarious]

The MC read out a fan comment:

"Honestly, thank god Seo Hoyun debuted late.

If he debuted early, there'd be a million Kak*oStory Kim Yeoju fics about him."

Seo Hoyun: (??? doesn't get it) "Huh? What do you mean?"

I mean, how could you say that to a Gen Z idol? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Back in the early 2000s, every male celebrity got turned into the male lead of some ridiculous internet romance novel — starring "Kim Yeoju," the catch-all name for the female protagonist.

[But the producers still didn't know…]

[Why THE DAWN was known as an emerging lunatic…]

[Total chaos party — check out the full video tonight!]

Even just the teaser had the Noeuls at max hype.

[LOL I guess this is tonight's dinner show]

[But isn't THE DAWN a bit calmer these days??

They used to be totally unhinged…

Hoyun's like a quiet lil black bunny now.

└Go watch FNL.

└└Sorry... just had to moe-fy him like breathing.]

That evening, fans were already queued up before the full video dropped.

On screen, when the members of THE DAWN weren't speaking, they looked like nothing more than five tall, handsome guys.

But as soon as the MC started reading fan thirst comments, a subtle but undeniable chaos began to seep out.

"Honestly, Seo Hoyun just looks like he stepped out of a web novel! Can you show us what that would be like??"

"Ah, if that's what you'd like, I'll give it a try."

Seo Hoyun was never one to miss a chance like that.

Even though he only had a rough idea, he listened to a short explanation and then stood up.

"Haah..."

He pulled his chair forward and lightly perched on the edge. Instantly, a CG overlay of a motorcycle appeared over the chair.

And somehow, sitting on that poorly rendered CG bike, gazing wistfully into the distance, Seo Hoyun still managed to look like a whole scene.

It was supposed to be funny.

[Why... is this guy hot??]

It was cool.

Even the captions didn't know what to do.

[Are you kidding me? What's with that bike CG?]

[LOL why does it look so good even with that cheap CG? That's witchcraft.]

All the lines that followed were improvised.

Jeong Dajun clasped his hands together and looked up with sparkling eyes.

"Hyung! Hoyun-hyung! Did you win a 17-to-1 brain battle to buy that bike?!"

"Don't even think about it."

Lowering his eyes slightly, Seo Hoyun gently stroked the chair.

"My baby."

[Seo Hoyun, do you want to die LMAOOOOOOOO]

[Hoyun…

I love idols who try hard but…

I didn't mean live this hard, sweetie]

But it didn't end there.

"Babe, hop on."

"..."

Seo Hoyun's gaze naturally landed on Kim Seonghyeon.

[Seo Hoyun's forever Kim Yeoju = Kim Seonghyeon]

A mischievous smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Kim Seonghyeon walked out with a resigned expression.

"Wait, hahaha! Seonghyeon, why are you here?"

"Huh? Well…"

Laughing, the MC asked.

Kim Seonghyeon tilted his head in confusion and replied—

"Because I'm the 'baby' he's talking about..."

"...!"

"…Huh? That sounded really weird, didn't it?"

[LOL]

[He only said 'baby,' so why did Kim Seonghyeon voluntarily walk up like that TT]

[I swear I'm crying from laughing—he just turned his head straight to Seonghyeon the second he said 'baby' ]

Not just the members and the MC— even the staff had to attempt the "don't laugh" challenge.

The more Kim Seonghyeon tried to explain—"I mean, it's not like I think of myself as a baby!" and "It's just that Seo Hoyun keeps calling me that—"—the more absurd it got.

[Seonghyeon, why do you have eyes like a cow being dragged to the slaughterhouse]

[LOL now I feel guilty after seeing his eyes ]

[What makes this even funnier is how the other members are just completely unfazed, like this is totally normal]

Eventually, Seonghyeon, with a face red as a tomato, awkwardly pretended to sit behind Seo Hoyun.

Hoyun smirked.

"Hold on tight. You'll fall."

"...."

[WTF LMAO ]

Once again, the MC and production crew burst into laughter, while the members laughed like they were watching a bonfire.

[Seo Hoyun, I swear...

Why can't you just say "he's my person, he's my man" to Seonghyeon—feels like he could do a Paris in Love level confession.]

└ He already did.

└└ ?????? What??

└└ Kang Ichae, testimony from PopPop

Kim Seonghyeon used to absolutely hate it.

└└ LMAO our water-faced boy really held back the tears, didn't he?

└└ I bet one time he cried into his pillow because of Seo Hoyun. I'll put my photocards on it.

While SNS exploded with real-time reactions, a clip of Seo Hoyun saying "My beloved ride" was inserted, then the show moved on to the next segment.

"We've received a tip about Seo Hoyun—that he plays tons of pranks on his members. There's even talk of him being guilty! What do you say?"

"…Why…"

Kim Seonghyeon mumbled in a serious tone.

"I just don't get how that kind of behavior counts as a selling point."

"Why not? Isn't Hoyun kind of cool when he does that?"

"What??"

"Why??"

As soon as Seo Jiwon defended Hoyun, the other members all made faces like they were about to gag.

A caption appeared at the bottom:

[Truly encountering 'madness']

[LOLOLOL did a real one just show up ]

Only Seo Hoyun looked unbothered.

"Wait, Jiwon, are you seriously saying that?"

"Jiwon hyung… are you being blackmailed or something?"

[And just like that, THE DAWN started bickering again...]

[THE DAWN Special: if left alone, they squabble every 60 seconds]

The MC jumped in at the perfect time.

"All right! Then let's have a proper trial, shall we?"

"…A trial?"

[??? LOL]

[A trial?? Really??]

Suddenly, the screen changed. Dududududun! Dududududun! An intense Japanese game-show-style courtroom BGM started playing, and retro 1980s movie-poster-style text flashed across the screen.

[THE DAWN TRIAL!]

A quickly cobbled-together courtroom set appeared.

The MC, now in a suit and holding a mic, stood in front of the camera with a deadpan expression, like a reporter.

"I'm Reporter Ma, standing in front of the courtroom for THE DAWN Trial!"

[Is Seo Hoyun really a guilty man?!]

[??? LMAOOO what is this]

[Is this actually happening right now?]

It was dripping with B-grade comedy energy.

Seo Hoyun stood at the defendant's podium. Behind him was, of course, a CG motorbike still following him around.

[They're taking this seriously LOL]

[Trial 1!

Defendant: Seo Hoyun ♡

Defense Attorney: Seo Jiwon ♡

Prosecutor: Kang Ichae ♡

Witness: Kim Seonghyeon ♡

Judge: Jung Dajun ♡]

[Adding hearts doesn't erase the vibe…]

[It just adds more chaos.]

Each member's role was labeled for the trial, and soon Kang Ichae appeared with a sly grin.

Holding a stack of papers in one hand and blowing a kiss with the other as he headed to the prosecutor's podium, a caption appeared below him:

[The best-looking member of THE DAWN makes his entrance.]

And then another line was added:

[※Caption requested secretly by Kang Ichae himself.]

[Kang Ichae is so petty

└LOOOOOOL I'm sobbing]

"Woooow~!"

Judge Jeong Dajun, who was supposed to remain impartial, let out an excited cheer.

Kang Ichae walked casually to his spot, wearing a hastily made prosecutor outfit that looked about 2% unfinished.

"No need to drag things out with a lengthy prologue."

He slapped the papers onto the desk and shouted:

"Honorable Judge, I formally indict Seo Hoyun as guilty!"

"Prosecutor, please state the charges."

"I charge the defendant, Seo Hoyun, for being an irritant to humanity."

Holding a blank piece of paper, Kang Ichae walked forward and handed it to Dajun.

"Your honor, I submit the following evidence:

Frequently calling others 'baby' for no reason.

Regularly stealing members' ice cream.

Showing zero reaction unless someone says something he finds personally amusing."

"Hm."

"I object!"

Seo Jiwon stood up sharply.

"Your Honor, under the constitution, all individuals are guaranteed the right to freedom of body and speech. Unless it violates the law, choosing to speak or stay silent is protected. Using the lack of reaction as evidence is unfair. I request the third item be stricken from the record."

"…Makes sense. I'm not entirely sure what he said, but okay, the third piece of evidence will be removed."

Jeong Dajun stroked his chin and stared seriously at the blank sheet.

[They're way too immersed in this LMAOOOO ]

THE DAWN, trained to give their all in everything, simply didn't know how to do things halfway.

"Your Honor."

Kang Ichae bit his lower lip once before speaking again.

"Above all, I believe glaring coldly at bad jokes is a heinous act that kills team morale."

"I object."

Seo Hoyun's defense attorney, Seo Jiwon, quickly raised his hand.

"First, making a cold expression may be a hurtful action to the members' feelings, but in democratic Korea, it's not a criminal offense. Also, responses vary by member. The defendant does react—at least somewhat—when I make lame jokes."

"Your Honor, you see that? That's favoritism! A tyranny of affection!"

Kang Ichae protested dramatically.

Dajun hesitated for a moment, but when Ichae raised an eyebrow, he reluctantly mumbled,

"W-Well… Hoyun hyung does kind of laugh when I talk…"

"...!"

Kang Ichae and Kim Seonghyeon turned to stare at Seo Hoyun in betrayal.

As if waiting for that moment, Hoyun tilted up one side of his mouth in a smirk.

"Sorry I'm not a laugh machine, okay?"

"Aha! That! That right there…!"

"Hah… Dajun is kinda funny though…"

Even Kim Seonghyeon, the key witness and ultimate victim, slightly admitted it, and Hoyun immediately jumped on the opportunity.

"Seonghyeon, have I ever let you down?"

"You wouldn't say that unless something's wrong with your interpersonal relationships."

Resident drama professor Jeong Dajun pointed out the textbook red flag line. Hoyun ignored him entirely.

"I take care of you. I practice dance with you. I eat with you."

"Say it properly. I take care of you. You're the one who insists on practicing basics, and you only eat because you freak out if I don't eat with you."

"See? Our leader takes care of me~"

As Kim Seonghyeon frowned, Seo Hoyun leaned back in his chair and added lazily,

"You grumble, but deep down you like it. That's why you still hang around me, right? During promotions and all."

"...! Wha— What…."

"Come on, you all feel the same way, don't you?"

Hoyun crossed his arms and grinned mischievously.

"Do you all just crave attention that badly?"

[Cancel Kang Ichae being petty—

Seo Hoyun is the true petty legend.]

[LOL]

Kim Seonghyeon grabbed the back of his neck in frustration.

Despite pouring his soul into caring for Seo Hoyun—who, no matter how much you taught him, acted like a human hammer—he was now being painted as the clingy one.

"Your Honor! Please, look at that wicked tongue! We can't let him make more victims!"

"No need to hear more!"

All the members, except Seo Hoyun and Seo Jiwon, stood up indignantly.

The only people enjoying themselves were the MC and production team, laughing like they got their money's worth.

"With that last remark, Seo Hoyun basically confessed to the charges! I hereby find the defendant guilty of being an irritant!"

Jeong Dajun slammed the gavel three times.

Bang bang bang!

After that, a second trial was held: "Is Seo Jiwon actually a secret badass?"

Despite witness, prosecutor, and defense all giving testimony about Jiwon's unexpectedly strong presence, Judge Seo Hoyun ruled:

"He's definitely capable, but still soft l ike a rice cake."

"Aha! As expected of our fair and wise Judge Seo. Thank you."

"Have a nice day."

Then Jeong Dajun asked, seriously,

"Wait… can the judge be indicted too?"

[Dajun… give up.

Hoyun's favoritism is unmatched.]

[This is why looks matter…]

[Cancel what I said about Kang Ichae being petty.

Seo Hoyun is legendary-level petty.]

[LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL]

After Seo Hoyun's ungrateful and clueless comment, Kim Seonghyeon grabbed the back of his neck in sheer frustration.

No matter how much he taught him, Hoyun was as dense as a sledgehammer. Seonghyeon had to dig deep into the patience of his past lives just to keep up as the leader and continue taking care of him.

"Your Honor! Just look at that wicked tongue! We can't allow him to keep creating new victims!"

"I don't think we need to hear any more!"

All the members—except Seo Hoyun and Seo Jiwon—jumped up, visibly outraged.

The only people thoroughly enjoying themselves were the MC and the production crew, who were laughing like they got their money's worth and more.

"Seo Hoyun's recent comments are basically a confession! On the charge of being an irritant to others, I hereby declare him guilty!"

Jeong Dajun banged the gavel three times with great finality. Bang! Bang! Bang!

Afterward, another trial followed: "Is Seo Jiwon actually secretly intense?"

Witnesses, the prosecutor, and the defense all provided testimonies revealing that Seo Jiwon was, surprisingly, quite strong-willed. However, because Judge Seo Hoyun was presiding, the conclusion was:

"He's definitely capable... but soft like a rice cake."

"Haha! As expected of our fair and wise Judge Seo. Thank you so much."

"Have a nice day."

At that, Jeong Dajun asked with a serious expression:

"Wait... is it possible to indict the judge too?"

[Dajun... just give up.

Hoyun's bias is next level.]

[This is why looks matter…]

Everyone started arguing that the rulings were absurd, but Seo Jiwon—now officially Seo Hoyun's soft rice cake—just smiled with calm satisfaction.

[How to receive favoritism from Seo Hoyun:

Be reborn as Seo Jiwon.

Never mind, let's not talk about it.

└Is this difficulty level: Hell?]

[Seo Jiwon knows everything now and is clearly enjoying it…]

Later, they even held trials on the topics:

"Is Jeong Dajun really a trendsetter?"

and

"Did Kang Ichae sell his tongue to the devil?"

And from beginning to end, Kim Seonghyeon remained the ultimate victim.

[Today too, THE DAWN members show their deep, caring hearts for one another^^]

Even the most delusional fans, who wore the thickest rose-colored glasses, would snort at that line.

[※Caption written at the request of Seo Jiwon.]

And finally, the fans of THE DAWN realized the true source of all this chaos.

[The legendary madness…

It was Seo Jiwon all along…]

By the end of filming, Kim Seonghyeon—who had been stuck between all the pettiness and mockery—was genuinely sulking.

Internally, he was grinding his teeth, wishing that Seo Hoyun would go do some other variety show and suffer real pain for once.