The Villainess Does Not Want to Die

Chapter 55: Reunion

Alina’s house wasn’t as spacious as it appeared from the outside.

It was the kind of home that could comfortably accommodate five people at most.

“It might look laughably small compared to the rooms in the estate, but it’s my proud little house,” Alina said with a smile.

She headed into the kitchen, lit a fire, and began preparing something.

“Have a seat anywhere. I’ll bring you something to drink and eat.”

Anywhere, she said—but all the chairs looked equally wobbly, their legs uneven.

Perhaps that was why she left it so open-ended.

I chose a chair by the table, which rocked every time I shifted.

“Have you eaten yet?”

“No, not yet.”

“Then we can have lunch together soon. You’re in for a treat—my aunt is an amazing cook.”

I almost asked where her mother was, but I held my tongue.

Sometimes, it’s better not to ask certain questions.

Alina poured milk tea from a large kettle into heavy-looking mugs and brought one over to me.

“It’s not as good as when my mother makes it, but she went to the capital to sell our crops. She left yesterday, so she should be back tomorrow!”

“Ah… I see.”

It felt a bit overwhelming.

She was clearly trying hard to keep the atmosphere cheerful, and I couldn’t help but feel the weight of her effort.

The milk tea tasted like a mix of goat’s milk and loose tea leaves—fresh, probably because it was straight from the farm.

Or maybe that was just my impression.

Raphael, on the other hand, looked utterly dazed.

He stared blankly at the tea in front of him for a long moment, then took a sip before asking Alina a hesitant question.

It wasn’t much of a question, really—his voice trailed off, barely coherent.

“That man from earlier…”

“There was a war not long ago, remember?

Some unfortunate things happened, but we’re just grateful he came back alive. He can’t farm like before, but he can still look after the cows.”

Raphael’s face hardened.

His hand gripped the hilt of his sword, trembling.

At first, only his hand shook, but soon his entire body quaked, as if the ground beneath him might split apart.

His eyes had a distant, haunted look, as though he wasn’t seeing this simple, peaceful home but something far more horrific.

For a moment, I thought he might snap and start swinging his sword, just as that limbless man had raged and thrashed earlier.

It happens often—people with difficult pasts sometimes see not the present but the horrors buried in their memories.

“Raphael,” I said softly, “if it’s too much, go for a walk outside.”

“Ah… uh, okay.”

Without another word, Raphael stood and left the house.

Moments later, I heard the sound of hooves clattering as his horse moved about—he must have started riding around the area.

“Sorry for showing up out of the blue. This must be a bit overwhelming,” I said to Alina.

“Oh, it’s fine. But, um, what’s wrong with him? Why did he suddenly…?”

“He was dragged off to war too. It seems like he’s been through a lot.”

“Ah…”

Neither of us knew what to say next.

Even though we had been close, I found myself at a loss for words.

So I said what I’d been meaning to say all along.

“I missed you,” I said, smiling warmly.

I felt a bit short of breath, wondering if I might cry.

But if I did, it didn’t matter—not in front of Alina.

“I had such a hard time, but I missed you so much.

I even thought about ending it all. Then I realized I hadn’t seen your face even once since we parted.”

Alina’s lips twitched as if she wanted to say something. Her shoulders shook briefly.

“Could you hug me?” I asked. “Just like you used to. Hold me and pat my back.”

Alina looked at me with a mixture of sorrow and sympathy, then stepped forward and embraced me, gently patting my back.

I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her shoulder.

“Miss.”

“Yeah?”

“Was it hard for you?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“There were times when I thought about you. But whenever I did, it felt like someone was choking me. My whole body would shake, and I’d feel terrified.”

“I’m sorry.”

Alina began to sob quietly.

I wished she wouldn’t cry. It felt like my presence was only bringing her more pain.

“But you weren’t the only one struggling,” she said, her voice trembling. “I should’ve been there with you.

I knew you wouldn’t make it if I left you alone in that place. I was so scared… so scared that I ran away.”

“It’s okay. As long as you’re alright, that’s all that matters.”

Hearing this, Alina pulled away slightly, wiping her tears.

Then she laughed—a broken, bitter sound. Her lips twisted into a faintly crooked smile as she spoke.

“Maybe leaving you in that wretched place and running away was my punishment.”

I had a sense of what she wanted to say next, so I stayed silent.

The little girl who resembled Alina had asked me when her father would return.

“Miss, after I came back here, there was someone who kept following me around, saying they liked me,” Alina said.

“Well, you’re beautiful. Of course, someone would be smitten.

Even now, if you dressed up and went to a ball, you’d outshine almost everyone there.”

Alina waved off my comment, laughing it off as a joke, and continued her story.

“At first, I felt guilty for leaving you behind and wondered if it was okay for me to live like this. I turned them down and just spent my days farming and feeding the cows.

But they kept coming back.”

She paused, coughing from talking too much, and went to the kitchen to drink some water.

Returning, she picked up where she left off.

“One day, a wild boar came down from the mountains.”

She spread her hands wide to illustrate the boar’s size.

“I didn’t know what to do—I just stood there, frozen. But they saved me.

I think that’s when I fell for them.

I mean, I already knew them well, and they kept showing how much they cared for me.

So, I married them.”

Her face, which had been holding a smile, suddenly crumpled. She rubbed her face with her hands, but tears slipped through her fingers.

“We got married and even had a child.

I named her Marie, after you.

That’s not blasphemous or anything, is it? Haha…”

Alina forced a laugh but quickly fell silent.

“Then one day, war broke out. They took every man in the village.

My husband… he disappeared without a trace.

My uncle told me they were dragged off together.

He said my husband died, burned alive by some mage.”

“It’s not a punishment,” I said firmly. “Even if you left the estate, it didn’t bother me.”

That wasn’t entirely true. I had suffered. I had been miserable. But telling Alina that would only burden her more.

“This is just an illusion, right?” Alina said, her voice trembling. “You’re not really here. This is just my guilt for leaving you.

You couldn’t possibly have grown up like this and left that estate.

The Duke would never have let you go. I still remember him crying and throwing a fit, saying he’d never release you.”

I hated seeing her like this.

When Alina left the estate, I hoped she would live well, eat well, and be happy.

Maybe she had, for a time.

Instead of attending frivolous social gatherings, I should’ve taken a carriage and come here to help her.

But how?

I shook off the spiraling thoughts. They were just pointless regrets.

“I’m sorry, Miss. I’m so sorry.

I shouldn’t have left you that day.

You saved me from that insane knight, but all I did was look at you like you were the crazy one.

I thought you’d gone mad when you cursed at the servants, but you were just struggling.

You saved me, but I ran away without a second thought. I’m awful…”

I pinched Alina’s cheek and shook her face, silencing her mid-sentence.

If I didn’t stop her now, she’d spiral into hours of self-recrimination.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have a fondness for suffering or a mustache to twirl while reveling in others’ misery.

“This isn’t punishment, Alina.

I didn’t come here to haunt you. I just wanted to say thank you.

If it weren’t for you, everything would’ve been twice as unbearable for me.”

Alina winced at the pain but looked at me, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

At least her self-loathing had stopped.

When she raised her arm to brush my hand away, I noticed long scars running along her wrist.

I pretended not to see them.

Bringing it up would ruin the fragile peace between us.

“Am I upsetting you by being here? Do you hate me for coming back?

Do you think everything happened because of me?” I asked.

Alina shook her head vehemently.

“Alina, I really like you.

I never once thought you abandoned me.”

“But still…”

“I didn’t want to die, you know? It was because of you that I realized that.

So why did you end up like this?”

I almost told her to take responsibility for saving me.

But Raphael’s words echoed in my mind, pricking my conscience. I couldn’t say it.

Even my tone carried a hint of reproach, laced with the belief that Alina should have lived happily.

I sighed and softened my voice.

“I’m glad I got to see you again. What about you?”

“Me too… I’m glad.”

“Then let’s just hold onto that feeling.

No need to dredge up the sadness or the pain.

The miserable and hopeless parts—they’re just part of life.”

This time, I pulled Alina into a hug, just as she used to do for me.

Her fuller figure made it a little awkward, but it didn’t matter.

Our reunion was drenched in tears.

I might dock a few points for the tragedy underlying those tears, but…

We hugged. We talked. We saw each other’s faces again.

That’s enough. What more could I ask for?

Heh.