Through the Pages of Time: Joey’s Hogwarts Tale

The Weasley boys were all staying at Hogwarts for Christmas, and Charlie, ever the Quidditch fanatic, had even tried to convince all the Gryffindor team members to remain for extra practice. Unfortunately for him, they had mercilessly rejected his idea.

"They have no idea how brilliant my new strategy is! All they had to do was sacrifice a little bit of Christmas coddling from their mums!" Charlie bemoaned loudly in the common room, waving his wand to make wizard chess pieces fly around in a demonstration of his tactics.

Percy, however, was completely uninterested in his brother's impassioned speech. He just wanted a warm, quiet place to read in peace. But Charlie's floating chess pieces kept colliding with his head.

"Charlie, this is not your personal lounge!" Percy huffed, trying unsuccessfully to snatch the irritating pawn midair.

"You can't even catch that? Percy, I think you're turning into a proper nerd," Charlie teased, roaring with laughter. The twins joined in, hooting in agreement.

Percy, his face red with frustration, tucked his book under his arm and stormed off to his dormitory, slamming the door behind him.

Meanwhile, Joey was engaged in a heated game of Exploding Snap with Fred. Her tiny Dumbledore card had pinned down Fred's tiny Grindelwald card and was now pummeling him, yelling, "That's for making fun of my crooked nose all day!"

Laughter erupted in the common room as the remaining students gathered around, eagerly waiting for their turn to play.

"We really ought to make a few more sets of these cards. They'd sell like crazy!" George said wistfully. "I just hope we get that unicorn tail hair and rhino horn soon."

Their problem, however, was that those materials were as expensive as gold. The combined savings of the entire Weasley family probably wouldn't be enough to afford them. That was precisely why Fred and George had attempted to try their luck in the Forbidden Forest—but alas, luck had not been on their side.

"Why aren't Charlie and Percy going home for Christmas?" Joey asked curiously after claiming victory over Fred.

Fred, now sitting beside her, shrugged. "Mum and Dad are really busy writing letters. We figured we'd stay out of their way."

"Yeah, and Mum's been rambling about shaving the dog's fur in her letters lately. No idea what that's about," Charlie added, finally tiring of his chess demonstration.

"Maybe your family has a new pet?" Joey speculated enviously. "I've always wanted a husky, but my mum insists wizards can't keep dogs."

"Who knows?" Fred yawned, rubbing his eyes. "Maybe she found out about Scabbers' bad luck and decided to get Percy a dog instead."

"That sounds about right. We can't afford new pets otherwise!" George laughed, just as he won a round of Exploding Snap. "Yes! I win!"

At that moment, a timid house-elf suddenly appeared, addressing Joey and the twins nervously. "M-Mr. Weasley, Ms. Forest… Mr. Filch requests your presence for… labor service…" With that, the elf vanished in a hurry.

Joey stretched her arms and called out to Charlie, "If we miss dinner, save me a whole turkey!"

The twins also yelled for extra grilled wings and snacks, to which Charlie laughed and agreed.

Joey and the twins arrived at Filch's eerie office, only to find Professor McGonagall waiting for them as well.

Filch was visibly displeased. With Professor McGonagall supervising, he wouldn't be able to dole out his usual punishments, like stringing them up by their ankles.

Reluctantly, he assigned them their task. "Scrub all the trophies in the storage room. No magic. You'll find your cleaning supplies in the yellow locker on the right."

Professor McGonagall, maintaining a neutral expression, spoke kindly but firmly. "Very well, Filch. Let's go check on the statues in the castle. I've heard they're in need of some polishing."

Filch scowled but grudgingly agreed. He would have preferred to supervise their suffering personally.

Once he and McGonagall left, she gave the three students a final warning. "No slacking! No tricks! And don't miss dinner!"

Joey and the twins nodded obediently. Of course, they fully intended to keep that last promise. The first two? Not so much.

Filch's office was a treasure trove of confiscated contraband. His cabinets, filled to the brim with forbidden items from students over the years, fascinated Joey and the twins.

"This is spectacular!" Fred and George gasped in unison as they began rifling through the collection.

"Merlin, I swear Filch must have a habit of hoarding student contraband!" Joey muttered, pulling out a bizarre-looking teacup.

"Ow! This teacup bites!" George yelped, shaking his finger.

Joey wasn't faring any better. She had just retrieved an elegant peacock-feather quill, only for it to spray ink all over her face.

"Hahaha! Joey, your face says 'Gryffindors are fools'! It must be a Slytherin prank!" Fred cackled, pointing at her face.

"It's like a magical tattoo!" George howled, still trying to detach the mischievous teacup from his finger.

Joey grabbed a small, jewel-encrusted mirror to assess the damage, but the moment it reflected her face, it flipped over and shrieked, "AHH! An ugly Gryffindor! My eyes! I'm blind! I'm blind!"

Scowling, Joey hurled the mirror back into the cabinet. "That has got to be Slytherin-made!"

The mirror, muffled inside the cabinet, continued its insults. "Says the girl with the pig face! Have some shame!"

"Let's just find the best stuff and sneak out before Filch comes back!" Joey decided, brushing off the teasing.

George soon spotted a locked drawer labeled 'Confiscated Items: HIGH DANGER'

"Highly dangerous means…"

"Double the fun!" Fred finished gleefully.

"Let's open it!" Joey grinned.

After some quick work, the trio managed to pry it open, revealing a delicate silver button, a strange spider-shaped looking glass, and a grimy piece of parchment.

"I love this looking glass! I'm giving it to Ron for his birthday!" Fred declared, reaching for it—only to freeze at the sound of footsteps outside.

Panic set in. The three scrambled to close the drawer and grab the cleaning supplies from the yellow locker, trying to look innocent.

Thankfully, it was just Mrs. Norris. The cat circled them suspiciously before letting out a low growl.

"Is it spying on us?" Joey whispered.

"Definitely," Fred confirmed. "We should start cleaning before Filch shows up."

With that, they hurried into the trophy room.

"Are you seriously planning to wipe all of these by hand?" Joey asked as the twins grabbed rags.

"Filch said no magic!" they chorused.

Joey sighed. "Yes, but where is Filch?"

The twins froze. Right. Filch wasn't here.

With a smirk, Joey pulled out her wand. "Scourgify! Scourgify! Scourgify!"

Joey had perfected the art of cleaning spells out of sheer necessity—after all, she had been forced to tidy up countless messes of her own making. With a flick of her wand, the trophies in the storage room began to gleam one by one, reflecting the candlelight beautifully.

But when she finally caught a glimpse of her own face on the polished surface of a Gryffindor Quidditch Cup, her expression froze.

Across her forehead, cheeks, and chin were words scrawled in bold, taunting script:

"Gryffindors never learn to wash."

"Don't wipe too hard, or you'll erase what little brain you have left."

"Gryffindor's smelly head."

"Gryffindor's pig face."

Joey stared at her reflection in silence. The twins braced themselves, expecting an outburst of rage.

Then, to their utter disbelief, she grinned.

"This is brilliant!" she exclaimed, eyes shining with excitement. "We could totally turn this into a product—imagine a self-writing tattoo quill!"

Fred and George exchanged bewildered glances.

"...Wait, you're not mad?" Fred asked hesitantly.

"Mad? Why would I be mad? This is genius!" Joey beamed. "Do I look like someone who wouldn't rock some badass face tattoos? I mean, the bass player from the Weird Sisters has a tattooed face—I've always been jealous!"

She tilted her head, admiring the insults as if they were fine art.

"I've even got the perfect name for it—Tattoo Quill! Oh, and look at this!" She turned back to the Quidditch Cup. "This trophy belongs to some guy named James Potter. Sounds kind of familiar..."

The twins gawked at her, completely at a loss for words.

Wasn't the real issue here the fact that her entire face was covered in enchanted insults?!

Joey, however, remained oblivious to their disbelief. She traced the engraved name thoughtfully. "Maybe Charlie mentioned him? He must've been a great Quidditch player to have his name on a trophy like this." With that, she placed the cup back on the shelf and carried on as if nothing had happened.

Fred and George simply shook their heads. There was no figuring out Joey Forest.