To Be A Milf Hunter

I trudged into Hyung-jun's room, brimming with disappointment.

"Dude, what's with that face? Something bad happen?"

Hyung-jun, who'd been giggling over KakaoTalk in his room, noticed my glum expression and spoke up. Seeing him laughing like that, it seemed he'd already gotten over being sulky at the dinner table earlier. Typical simple-minded guy.

"Yeah, it's nothing big. But what's got you giggling like that? You got a message from a girl, didn't you?"

"Huh? How'd you know that? Did you learn mind-reading or something, you bastard? Hyera changed her mind and said we could meet up later, so how could your big bro not be thrilled?"

Oh, this bipolar asshole. So he was pouty earlier because Hyera or whatever wouldn't meet him, and now he's hyped up again because she said yes. Man, he's so easy to read.

Fuck, I should use this chance to meet a girl too. I'm already pissed off from getting worked up over Hyung-jun's mom with no payoff.

"Hey, then as a decent human being, shouldn't you call one of Hyera's friends for me too? Damn it, let me hook up with a girl thanks to my best friend for once."

"Huh? You? Actually, I was gonna ask you a favor about that…"

Hyung-jun hesitated.

This feels off. For a simple guy like him, he doesn't usually beat around the bush unless it's something seriously tricky. Is he about to ask me to deal with some kind of disaster?

I'm in a mood where, unless she's a total pig or hideous, I'd probably settle for anyone. I'm not in a position to be picky—my body's burning up with no way to let it out.

"What's up? You're dragging this out, so it's gotta be some shitty favor, right? What, you want me to handle a disaster for you?"

I casually threw it out there to test the waters.

"No, not a disaster. Dude, just hear me out this once, Si-won. Who else am I gonna ask but you, my best buddy?"

Man, this guy's making me nervous as hell.

"If it's not a disaster, then what is it?"

"So, uh, could you sleep over at my place tonight?"

"What? What the hell are you saying? Why would I sleep over at your house alone while you're gone? Are you insane?"

Hyung-jun gave me this pitiful look and started rubbing his hands together, begging.

"Dude, you know my mom's a total boomer. If I say I'm going out this late, she'll flip her shit. I only came home early because she said she was scared being alone tonight. So, I'm gonna sneak out later, and when I come back, I'll send you a KakaoTalk. Just sleep here and open the door for me. Come on, man, what are friends for?!"

So, this bastard's saying he's gonna go bang some chick while I sit here like a loyal dog waiting for its master to open the damn door? What kind of asshole is this?! Just thinking about it makes me sick with jealousy. You're gonna go fuck alone? As your best friend, that's not happening! If you're getting laid, hook me up too!

"Dude! You call that a favor?! Why would I ditch my comfy house to sleep here uncomfortably? Ugh, shut up, I'm leaving."

I grabbed my clothes to storm out of his room before he could beg more, but Hyung-jun snatched my wrist and shoved his phone in my face.

"Si-won, no, big bro! Check this girl out! She's busy today, but next Saturday, I'll set you up with her, no question! She's Hyera's best friend—look at her, isn't she hot as hell?"

Man, this guy doesn't quit.

Fine, when someone's begging like this, they should at least show a pic of a hot girl. That's just basic manners.

No harm in looking, right?

I started closely inspecting the girl in the photo he showed me.

Her face looks a bit bitchy, but she's sexy enough—passable.

Her body… holy shit.

Instant pass.

Her boobs are at least a C-cup, right?

She's a decent height too…

Sure, she probably used some app to touch it up, so maybe knock off 30 points, but even then, she's worth the effort to bang.

I set my clothes back down and softened my tone with Hyung-jun.

"Alright, you bastard. At least when you're asking for a favor, show a girl's pic and have some manners. So, does she seem like an easy lay? No boyfriend or anything, right?"

"Dude, how would I know that? And these days, girls don't care if they've got a boyfriend—they'll still hook up if they're into you. It's all about vibes: hold hands, kiss, hit a motel, and bang. You're hopeless because you approach girls thinking about sex right off the bat. That's why they don't put out, you amateur."

"Huh? Are you lecturing me now? I'm outta here, man!"

"Aw, come on, I can't say anything? Big bro, I was just giving you some friendly advice—don't get all pouty. Si-won hyung-nim, heh heh."

This little shit must really want to bang Hyera bad. The second I say I'm leaving, he grovels like a damn servant. Fuck, is sex that good? I wanna fuck a girl too! Damn it! Fine, I'll hold out for a week. Next week, I'm gonna rail that bitchy, sexy chick from the photo in a motel. Ugh… just thinking about it makes my dick burn.

"Alright, fine. Big bro's gonna sacrifice for his little buddy today. What time you heading out and coming back?"

"Well, my mom's been sleeping early and waking up at dawn for her morning workouts lately. So, I'll sneak out around 11 p.m. and be back by 5 a.m."

"Man, you're not even letting me sleep. Got it, asshole. But if you flake on that intro with Hyera's friend next week, I'll kill you. You know I'm usually chill like a herbivore, but I've got a temper when I'm pissed."

"Got it, dude. Alright, I'm getting ready. Read some manga or something."

Hyung-jun started fussing with his hair, waxing and blow-drying it like crazy.

To me, it looks the same—why's he bothering so late at night?

Then he pulled out makeup…

"Dude! What the hell, you're putting on makeup?!"

"Man, are you stuck in the past? These days, makeup's a must for guys too. Even VTS wouldn't be more than a decent-looking dude without it. Makeup's what makes you a world-class pretty boy—untouchable."

What? Guys wear makeup now too?

Well, come to think of it, some of my college buddies do look suspiciously pale and polished—probably caking it on.

"Just don't overdo it, man."

"Shut up and read your manga, you loudmouth."

After finishing his makeup and hair, Hyung-jun dressed up in a sharp, dandy style. He actually looked different from the usual Hyung-jun I knew.

"Damn, your outfit's on point today."

"Now you get it? Big bro's been killing it lately. Before you meet Hyera's friend next week, I'll help you with your style, you poor bastard. It's been ages since high school, and you still haven't gotten laid? Ugh, you've got the looks but waste it. I'm embarrassed to be your friend."

"Ugh, you always gotta be a dick about it. Just get outta here. I'm sleeping."

"Oh, it's already 11. I'm heading out. Check my KakaoTalk later."

Hyung-jun quietly opened the door and tiptoed toward the front entrance.

Creak!

The door made a slight noise, but his mom must've been asleep—no reaction.

I lay down on the empty bed in his room and closed my eyes.

Fuck, what's wrong with me?

Honestly, I think I've got Hyung-jun beat in both height and looks.

Back in high school, my classmates predicted I'd be super popular in college—probably the first to get laid.

Damn it, it's gotta be this shy personality of mine.

To hook up with girls, you've gotta act cocky, be fun, and play the game, but I'm over here being a timid nice guy like an idiot. No wonder girls find me boring.

Screw it! Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna be a whole new Si-won!

A bold, charismatic Si-won with girls!

Me? The guy who turns into a mute wimp around girls—can I really change like that?

[Ugh…

No way.

Instead, how great would it be if the world flipped, and girls were the ones chasing guys?

Then I wouldn't even have to approach them—they'd be all over me, begging for sex.

Fuck, just thinking about it turns me on.

Sigh…

It's all just a fantasy, though.

Damn it.]

Since it's Hyung-jun's room, I couldn't fall asleep easily. Might as well recite some lines to knock out.

"I absolutely awaken my playful lifestyle today without any side effects, conditions, or costs, and my playful lifestyle ability…"

Muttering a line from a novel I love, I drifted into a deep sleep before I knew it.

The next morning.

I must've slept like a rock—I didn't wake up once, and I felt refreshed.

Damn, Hyung-jun's bed must be top-notch. I slept like a baby.

I bolted up and checked the time.

Huh?

It was already 5 a.m.

I checked my KakaoTalk, but no message from Hyung-jun.

That bastard must've fallen asleep at the motel after banging. Screwed himself over.

Well, whether he gets caught or not, it's not my problem. It's his own fault if he does, but he wouldn't cancel my hookup next week over it, right?

I didn't drink much water before bed, so my throat was parched.

Creak!

I opened the door and headed to the fridge, but I heard "Hup! Two! Hup! Two!" coming from the living room TV.

Huh? What's that?

Curious, I rubbed sleepy eyes and shuffled over.

There, I saw Hyung-jun's mom's back—she was engrossed in squats, wearing a tight gray tank top that hugged her breasts and super-short spandex workout shorts that showed off every curve of her ass.

Gulp!

Even with clothes on, her body was already top-tier AV actress material. But in that tank top with her firm breasts bouncing and those shorts exposing her plump ass, it was like she was screaming, "Come ravage me!" I forgot about getting water and, as if possessed, started walking toward her.

Step, step!

I got close enough to touch her ass, but she was so focused on her workout that she hadn't noticed me yet. Unlike yesterday, today I felt strangely confident—like I could do anything.

"Ma'am, working out?"

I whispered right into her ear.

Startled, she turned to me with wide, rabbit-like eyes.

"Oh, oh my! Si-won, you're up already? Did the TV wake you? Sorry, I'll turn it down. Go back to sleep."

I subtly placed both hands on her sexy, sculpted hips.

She flinched, her ass trembling slightly, but she didn't push me away.

"No, it's fine, ma'am. Let me check your form. Keep going."