Universe Infinite Canteen

"What happened?"

Old Wang saw Ma Lu tiptoeing out of the kitchen, so he asked.

Ma Lu lowered his voice, "About the pigeon, I think you were right. I've discovered that the pigeon on the building opposite is surveilling us."

"No, that's just an ordinary pigeon," Old Wang shook his head and said.

"Huh?"

Feeling somewhat awkward, Ma Lu conceded, "Alright then."

Just then, the timer for the oven dinged. Ma Lu went to rinse his mouth, spat out the toothpaste foam, and planned to head back to the kitchen for some bread. But after taking a few steps, something occurred to him, and he stopped, looking puzzled.

"Wait a minute, you've never even looked at that pigeon. How can you be so sure it wasn't surveilling us?"

"Because the one who is surveilling us, I met him last night," Old Wang said, "and, to be precise, he's not a pigeon."

???

Ma Lu gasped in shock, "So there really is someone keeping watch over us? How...how long has this been going on?"

"Four days," Old Wang said. "He's been watching us ever since our first encounter with the urban management officers."

"Damn, why didn't I notice anything before?"

"There are a lot of pigeons on this planet. Based on my observation, most humans don't pay attention to the pigeons around them, which effectively makes pigeons invisible in your society. That's why I can understand why he would choose to take the form of a pigeon." Find your next tale on m-vl-em|p-yr

"Who is he, and why is he watching us?" Ma Lu asked again.

However, Old Wang did not reply this time but said instead, "You can ask him directly. You were asleep last night when we just briefly talked. We agreed to discuss more once you were awake. Judging by the time, he should be arriving soon."

As they were talking, a slate-gray pigeon landed on the balcony railing outside.

Ma Lu walked to the balcony, opened the window, and tried to invite the gray pigeon in, "Uh... do you want to come in and sit?"

The gray pigeon, however, just tilted its head to look at him, not moving from its spot, and then made a cooing sound.

"I suspect it's swearing at us," Ma Lu whispered to Old Wang, "but I have no proof."

"It's just not sure if you're going to hurt it."

A voice replied, but it wasn't Old Wang who spoke. It was another, white pigeon.

It flew in through the open window, retracted its wings, and landed gracefully on the living room couch.

"Wow, you can actually speak!"

Ma Lu was somewhat surprised, as he wasn't wearing the Traveler's Bracelet right then and couldn't activate its translation feature.

That meant if he could understand what this pigeon was saying, it had to be genuinely speaking Chinese. Plus, the voice was pretty pleasant to the ear, sounding very much like Andy Lau.

"No, I'm merely communicating with you through thoughts right now. Given my current physiological structure, I can't produce sounds like you humans. If you don't like my current voice, I can change it," said the white pigeon, and quickly Ma Lu heard Lin Chi Ling's doll-like voice in his mind, "Ready to depart. The total journey is 2.1 kilometers, an estimated 10 minutes..."

"Stop, let's switch back to the Andy Lau voice pack," Ma Lu broke in.

"Okay," the white pigeon replied amicably.

Then Ma Lu had another burst of curiosity, "What about the Guo Degang version..."

The white pigeon seemed to pause for a second before responding.

"We've got quite a crowd today, and I'm gratified. Thank you all for coming. Everyone here is our bread and butter..."

Ma Lu gave a thumbs-up, "Cool!"

White Dove's complexion didn't seem too good, "Can we get to the main point now?"

"Of course, of course."

"You can call me the City Manager."

"City Manager?"

"That's right," White Dove nodded slightly, "I manage the visitors from different dimensions living in this city, standardizing their behavior and conduct, ensuring they don't do anything out of line, solving troubles they cause, and concealing their existence from the natives."

"Oh, so you come from an official organization specialized in dealing with these matters?"

"No," White Dove said, "Your dimension is outside The Grand Alliance, in a corner that official institutions do not notice. As far as I know, The Grand Alliance hasn't sent any public officials to this planet."

"Uh... Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"It depends on the perspective you're looking at it from. For wanderers, refugees, libertarians, and those who just want some peace, it's probably a good thing. On the other hand, not so much."

Ma Lu noticed White Dove glance at Old Wang when saying this, and then it continued,

"However, even for those anarchists, a necessary order is indispensable. The existence of my colleagues and me is to ensure that."

"You are an Earthling, and according to regulations, I shouldn't reveal my identity and these matters to you. But your roommate, this Cosmic Chef, insists that you are his important business partner, crucially responsible for supplying him with ingredients."

"Therefore, after careful consideration, I have decided to accept..."

"Hold on a moment," Ma Lu interrupted White Dove, "You just said you're not an official organization, so why do you keep using these formal terms?"

"To display our professionalism," White Dove stated proudly.

"Let me summarize it for you. This dimension lacks a Cosmic Chef, so you need us. You talked a long spiel just to express that, right?"

White Dove fell silent.

"Alright, I hope we can cooperate happily from now on." Ma Lu reached out his hand, smiling brilliantly.

White Dove reluctantly extended a wing and shook hands with Ma Lu.

"The incident of you speeding that tricycle up to 200 mph in front of countless surveillance cameras, I've taken care of that for you, but in the future, it would be best if you were more careful in your actions."

"We were thinking the same thing," Ma Lu said as he poured a cup of tea for White Dove.

The latter shook its head.

So Ma Lu went to the kitchen and brought out the buttered bread he had baked earlier, breaking a piece and placing it in front of White Dove.

White Dove was satisfied and pecked at it.

Ma Lu went on, "Here's the thing, Brother Pigeon, we've realized that continuing with the street stall increases our risk of exposure, so we are planning to rent a place and open a storefront. This way we won't have to be chased by city management. But there's still a problem."

"As you know, our ingredients are quite... special. If someone discovered that we're transporting ingredients back from other universes, it might increase your workload again."

The pigeon kept eating and listening, knowing what the human in front of it was insinuating, and it regained its previous pride.

Just as it was about to speak, it suddenly couldn't help shivering, and then a puddle of white, unidentifiable substance appeared on the sofa.

The atmosphere became somewhat strained.

Two humans and one pigeon stared at each other with wide eyes.

In the end, Ma Lu was the first to break the silence, "No worries, no worries, it's a physiological thing, I know. Birds have straightforward digestive systems. I'll get some paper for you, Brother Pigeon, keep eating."