Villain Hiring: Help! Author Wants Me Dead

I sat cross-legged on the forest floor, plucking at the grass while trying not to think about how badly my butt hurt from sitting on rocks all day.

The others had made a sad little circle around the dying campfire that Kane had puffed into existence with his smoke magic.

Real cozy, if you liked sitting in awkward silence with a bunch of pissed-off teenagers.

Vayu sat at the head of the circle, glaring into the fire like it owed him money.

Eren crouched nearby, still polishing his shield even though it was already clean enough to eat off of.

Kane leaned back lazily on a log, smoke curling around him like a moody dragon.

And Lina...sweet, small Lina, basically trying to fold herself into a blade of grass to avoid existing.

Vayu clapped his hands together once, sharp and loud."Alright. Ideas. How do we climb back up before those bastards run away with first place?"

Silence.

A cricket chirped somewhere.

Then Kane, because of course it was Kane, spoke up.

"Easy. We just sprint through the forest and kill everything that moves."

He even said it with a straight face.

Everyone stared at him like he'd just announced he was gonna eat dirt to power up.

I couldn't help myself; I let out a little snort.

Even Eren, who was usually the definition of supportive, shook his head like a disappointed dad.

Vayu pinched the bridge of his nose. "Genius. We'll die of exhaustion before we even find anything worth points."

Kane just shrugged. "At least we'll die trying."

"Shut up," Vayu muttered.

His dark eyes turned toward me next, narrowing."And you, oh great leader," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Since you're not exactly busy fighting, maybe you wanna throw out one of your magical ideas?"

I stiffened.

Geez, no pressure.

I picked at a piece of dirt under my nail before mumbling, "Maybe…uh…we conserve our energy instead of wasting it?"

Kane made a fake gagging sound.

I glared at him and rushed to finish, "And, since Eren's like…seven feet tall or something, he could help us scout from higher ground to find stronger monsters."

Eren smiled sheepishly like he was both flattered and embarrassed.

Vayu leaned back, arms crossed, unimpressed."Hmph. Not completely useless," he said, like he was handing out gold stars.

Then, out of nowhere, Lina did it again.

She raised her hand.

Just…slowly lifted it up like we were in second grade.

I immediately facepalmed.

Vayu looked two seconds away from losing it.He groaned, actually rubbing his temples this time. "Fine. Speak, Lina."

Poor girl looked like she was about to either burst into tears or vomit.

"I…" she squeaked, "I think Pixie's right. Conserving energy is good. But...why not look for the boss?"

We all blinked.

"What boss?" Kane asked, scratching his head.

"You know," Lina said, a little stronger now. "Knowing Grandpa Venus, he probably hid a big boss monster somewhere on the map. Defeating it would give the most points. Instead of chasing small fry, we find the boss."

Dead silence.

You could hear our collective brain cells rebooting.

Kane's mouth dropped open so hard I thought his jaw unhinged.

Even Vayu looked stunned.

He actually cursed, shoving a hand through his hair. "Why the actual hell didn't you say this earlier?!"

Lina flinched so hard she almost tipped over.

"I...I tried," she mumbled, voice cracking. "I raised my hand…multiple times…"

The guilt hit me so fast I almost choked.

I shuffled over and put an arm around her tiny shoulders, squeezing lightly.

"You don't have to raise your hand, Lina," I said. "We're not in a freakin' classroom. Just speak up next time, yeah?"

She nodded timidly, looking like a kicked puppy finally getting a treat.

God.

We were such idiots.

We had the answer sitting right here for, like, the past two hours, and we were just too busy being morons to listen.

Kane smacked his forehead dramatically. "Holy shit. We're actually dumb."

"Speak for yourself," Vayu muttered, but there wasn't much bite behind it.

Eren, ever the peacekeeper, chuckled lightly. "Better late than never."

"Okay, okay," I said, sitting up straighter, feeling an actual sliver of hope for once. "So…new plan. Conserve mana. Conserve stamina. Let Eren climb trees or whatever to look for weird monster trails. And we stick together."

Kane, predictably, raised his hand mockingly. "Do we need permission to pee now too, boss?"

I lobbed a pebble at him, hitting him square in the forehead.

"Ow," he whined.

"Shut up and listen," I snapped. "You wanna win or not?"

Everyone grudgingly nodded.

Vayu leaned forward, expression sharp again. "If we find this hidden boss...and it's a real one...we're not splitting up. One mistake and it'll wipe us."

"Yeah, yeah," Kane grumbled, rubbing his forehead.

Lina shyly piped up again, voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe...Pixie can watch our backs too. You know, alert us if anything comes from behind."

Vayu smirked. "Finally found her use, huh?"

I stuck my tongue out at him but didn't argue.He wasn't wrong.

I might not be able to punch a wolf into oblivion like Eren or slice things into sashimi like Vayu, but I had eyes and a mouth.

If I could spot trouble before it gutted us, then that was good enough.

Kane cracked his knuckles. "Man, I'm fired up now. We find this boss, kick its ass, and bam, first place. Easy."

"Don't jinx it, idiot," Vayu snapped.

"Yeah, Kane," I added sweetly. "Next time you say 'easy,' I'm feeding you to the boss first."

He gave me an exaggerated look of betrayal.

Eren finished stacking up the barrier of branches, looking satisfied.

"We'll move out at dawn?"

Vayu nodded. "Dawn."

"And if we don't find the boss?" Kane asked.

Vayu smirked, a slow, dangerous thing."Then we kill everything until we do."

The fire crackled between us, sending sparks into the dark night.

For the first time all day, I wasn't drowning in boredom or hopelessness.I could feel it too—the crackle of excitement in the air.

We had a plan.

A real one.

And maybe, just maybe, we weren't as doomed as we thought.

***