Wake Up As Ozpin

Ozpin sat at his desk, staring at the paperwork.

The paperwork stared back.

He'd been at this for twenty minutes.

Not doing paperwork, of course. Just staring at it, as if sheer force of will could make it disappear.

It hadn't.

A tragedy, really.

He drummed his fingers on the desk. "Alright. Think. There has to be a way out of this."

Burning it? Tempting, but probably frowned upon.

Delegating it? Tried that. Failed. Glynda wasn't fooled.

Ignoring it? Worked once. Unlikely to work twice.

A sigh. "Fine," he muttered, picking up the first form. How hard can this be?

Five minutes later, he had precisely zero forms completed and had gained several new questions.

Who designed these? Why did so many of them exist? Was this what truly kept the Grimm at bay?

The existential crisis was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in," he called, setting the papers down.

The door opened, and in stepped a familiar redhead—armor polished, posture perfect, expression concerningly serious.

Pyrrha Nikos.

The Invincible Girl.

Champion of Mistral.

Future Maiden, future tragedy, future—

Ozpin blinked.

He needed to stop doing that.

"Miss Nikos," he greeted smoothly. "What can I do for you?"

She hesitated. "Professor Ozpin, I…" She glanced to the side, as if second-guessing herself.

He tilted his head slightly. "Go on."

A breath. She straightened, meeting his gaze. "I was told you wanted to speak with me?"

Pause.

A long pause.

Ah.

Yes.

That.

The moment he had definitely planned for.

…He had no idea what she was talking about.

"Of course," he said, nodding wisely.

A beat of silence.

She waited.

He steepled his fingers, buying himself time. Alright. Think. What would the real Ozpin say?

…Nothing helpful, probably.

Right. New plan.

Play along.

"Tell me, Miss Nikos," he said, lowering his voice slightly, "do you believe in destiny?"

She blinked.

Then slowly, she nodded. "I… I'd like to, sir."

Good answer.

He leaned back slightly, considering her. "You are a very talented young woman, Miss Nikos. Exceptionally skilled."

Her fingers twitched slightly—just a hint of discomfort.

Ah.

The burden of expectation. He knew it well.

"Thank you, sir," she said carefully.

Another beat of silence.

…Wait.

Was he recruiting her for the Maiden powers right now?

Was this that conversation?

Oh.

Oh no.

Panic.

Abort.

Backpedal immediately.

He cleared his throat. "That being said, it's important that you take time to enjoy your youth. Wouldn't you agree?"

She blinked again.

"…Sir?"

"All work and no play and all that," he continued smoothly. "Make sure to, ah… enjoy student life! Meet new people! Make friends! Maybe try some—" He waved vaguely. "—extracurricular activities?"

Pyrrha Nikos, four-time champion, trained warrior, looked utterly lost.

A beat of silence.

Then, hesitantly:

"…Are you asking me to join a club?"

"Yes."

Another pause.

He could see the confusion in her eyes.

"…Which one?"

The first one that came to mind.

"…Chess."

WHY DID HE SAY CHESS?

Pyrrha Nikos, undefeated champion of Mistral, stared at him.

He stared back.

The moment stretched.

Finally, she nodded. "I will… consider it, sir."

"Excellent," he said, as if this was absolutely what he had meant to do.

She stood, offering a polite bow. "Thank you for your time, Professor."

"Anytime," he said smoothly.

She left.

The door clicked shut behind her.

Silence.

Ozpin exhaled, sinking into his chair.

What was that?

That was not how that conversation was supposed to go.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright. New plan."

Step one: Figure out the Maiden situation.

Step two: Figure out what he just agreed to.

Step three: Maybe actually learn to play chess.

A pause.

Step four: Never let Glynda find out about this.

Ozpin let out a tired sigh only to pause furrowing his brows, "wait… Pyrrha just joined Beacon, wasn't it far too early for a maiden conversation…?"

Ozpin trailed off, feeling a splitting headache, before pausing and shrugging his shoulders, "meh, I must have called her for another matter."

Ozpin smiled softly, it seemed like he hadn't messed up.