What lies in the shadow : From university to unexpected love.

The lab is sterile and cold, the bright fluorescent lights casting a sharp glare on the equipment in front of me. The polygraph machine humming with quiet anticipation, the wires snaking across my chest, their cold electrodes pressing against my skin as if to remind me that I am not quite in control here. And that everyone is about to know what I feel.

"Are you comfortable?" Amy asks, her voice soft but tinged with curiosity.

You see, being in cognitive sciences makes you beta test the craziest protocols for you coworkers. And as the polygraph is often used in court my roommate is working on it to make it more accurate. 

"Yeah," I reply, trying to mask my anxiety with a nonchalant shrug. "Just… a little weird, but I've been through worse. It feels funny, but not funny "Ahah"."

Chris is the one in charge of the machine. As he is fiddling with the controls, his brow furrows in concentration. Amy is by his side, writing something down on a clipboard, her eyes flicking between me and the screen of the polygraph. The whole setup feels clinical, and I can't help feeling exposed. The polygraph was designed to measure physiological fluctuations. And as such it gives indications on stress, emotions, essentially, to tell when someone is lying. They set it up to study how emotions could affect the accuracy of the results. It seems harmless enough. When I agreed to do this, I thought it would not be causing any pain. At least not physical.

"You ready?" Chris asks, glancing up from the machine.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I mutter.

Amy shot me a grin before turning back to Chris. "Okay, we'll start simple. Just a few warm-up questions for calibration purposes."

I nod, my palms are a little sweaty as I sit still, staring straight ahead. The machine is hooked up to me, but I can't shake the feeling that I am under a microscope. I have not realized yet just how much the idea of being observed can make me feel… vulnerable.

Amy clears her throat. "First question: Have you ever had any formal training in psychology?"

I let out a small chuckle, the tension easing just for a fraction of a second. "Yes."

The polygraph remains silent, the needle steady, no signs of stress. I breath easier.

Chris continues with the questions, each one mundane, factual. But then comes the moment when I felt the pressure mounting, a tinge of anxiety creeping up in my chest. Amy smirks slightly as she looks down at the screens and then behind me. And as I turn to look who is behind me, fate is almost mocking me. Of course David was going to look at the experiment…

"So, Deirdre," Amy resumes, her voice casual but with a mischievous edge, "have you had intercourse recently?"

The question hits me like a ton of bricks, my breath catching in my throat. For a split second, my mind is racing. This was the kind of question that didn't belong in a research setting especially with my crush here. Not in front of my colleagues. Not with him.

I force myself to speak, my voice steady. "No. I haven't."

There is a long pause, the hum of the machine louder than usual as Chris and Amy watch the readings. I can feel the warmth creeping up my neck, and the tension in my chest growing, my heartbeat speeding up. I try to remain calm, but something about the question has my mind running wild. 

Then as my mind imagines him and me, the polygraph beeps, sharp and sudden. The needle of the graph jerking wildly.

Amy looks at the screen, one eyebrow raised. "Interesting," she murmurs, writing something down. "It looks like you're not telling the truth, Deirdre."

"What?" I blink, my heart thudding. "That's impossible. I'm not lying."

Chris doesn't look convinced. He even makes a weird face as he looks towards David. "The machine doesn't lie. It's picking up something, though. You might not lie, but you have some things in your mind..."

I shot a look at Amy, who is now clearly enjoying herself a little too much. "Come on, you know I haven't had sex recently," I say, trying to laugh it off, but there is a lingering tightness in my chest that I can't shake.

David makes his way to look at the screens. I look into his eyes, they are cold. Cold grey, judging or analyzing eyes. The tightness in my chest is getting worse. He thinks I was with someone else and he doesn't like it ? Am I imagining things ? 

Just as suddenly as he entered, he takes his eyes away from the screen, stares at me, and kind of storms out of the room. The most polite, dignified, contained storming out of a room I have ever seen. Or am I just interpreting things again ?

I don't get a chance to give justifications before the door clicks, shutting behind him, leaving me frozen in the middle of the room. The weight of the moment hit me like a wave. Amy looks between Chris and me, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips.

"Well," she says, a little too casually, "I think we've got some interesting data, don't we?"

I swallow hard, the polygraph's noise still ringing in my ears. I can feel my heart racing, my mind spinning. The only thing I knew for sure was that David had left the room thinking I slept with someone and that I lied about it.