When the Detective Work is Done, I'll Die

Chapter 16

Bullying. Someone called it that—called it a crime. And I want to thank them for it.

Thank you for elevating bullying into a crime. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for turning what used to be a sleazy thing that happened in schools or workplaces into a grand achievement that shakes society.

With this, bullying has been promoted to artistic crime. What's more, it's so amusing—if you handle it cleverly, you can make it the perfect crime almost immediately.

Shall I give you one example?

Just gang up and beat the kids in class who are annoying or who don't stand out. You can start by hiding their things, or you can set things up so they'll think, "I'm the one to blame for the bullying."

It's easy. After that, just bully the target relentlessly without letting the teachers notice.

With such a simple method, school life becomes so much richer.

Even the bystanders watch my bullying—no, my artistic crime show. They cooperate, and my motivation soars.

But what if the target tattles to a teacher? Then we all just deny it together. The stricter teachers and the anti-bullying teachers are the ones who care most about protecting themselves. So if we outnumber them with opinions, the teachers can't go against us.

If a teacher even starts to think about investigating, we can threaten them with claims of sexual or power harassment.

I've planned for the possibility that someone totally uninvolved might see it too. At that point we accept it meekly. We just say there was some trouble, then I give the target a filthy handshake. That usually forces them to forgive us. Even if they say "I won't forgive," the teacher will stop them.

After wiping my hand thoroughly, I start again. This time I make sure to be thoroughly violent for the tattling—"you bumped my shoulder," "your breath stinks"—methods so ridiculous I can't help laughing.

Sometimes a traitor appears inside the group. In that case I make the traitor the next target, pour encourager les autres. After that, no one betrays us. It's a simple, farcical story.

That's me. The other day, the target finally broke.

Who knows what she was thinking—she jumped in front of a car.

I'm sad my precious tool broke, but more than that, I was happy.

I surpassed them. I surpassed the certified criminals. Everyone, you said bullying is a crime, right?

My criminal level went up. But she merely committed suicide. I'll never be caught. When the teachers asked if anything had happened, I just kept playing dumb.

By using things like children's privacy, protecting myself is easy. I can picture some teachers grinding their teeth in frustration.

Fufufu... Most of the famous psycho killers in the world have been caught. Yet here I am, trampling the school and living happily.

I'm famous as a criminal.

I may have even surpassed the exploits of criminals who live in the past.

Well then, shall the next target be that person?

The school system, today's world, and the people who yap about never allowing bullying will all cooperate... Let the second murder drama begin!