When The Lines Begin To Blur

(Kuruha's POV)

I watched him walk away.

Not once did he look back.

Even as the tears slipped down my cheeks…

Even when I reached out…

He never turned around.

And I couldn't blame him.

Because I was the one who shattered everything.

I stood there outside the café, frozen—

my hand still half-raised, as if trying to grasp something that was already gone.

Yehoshua's footsteps faded into the distance,

and with every step he took,

it felt like I was losing a part of myself I'd never get back.

When I got home,

I didn't speak.

Didn't eat.

Didn't move.

I locked myself in my room and cried into my pillow—

the kind of crying you don't want anyone to hear.

The kind you know you don't deserve to be comforted for.

Because I cheated.

I hurt him.

I ruined everything.

And now… I couldn't even find the courage to explain why.

Was it selfishness?

Was it fear?

Or did I just fall for someone who came at the wrong time?

Even I didn't know anymore.

But I knew one thing:

I broke the boy who once looked at me like I was his entire world.

The next morning, the school gate felt colder than usual.

No warm smile.

No soft greeting.

No Yehoshua waiting for me.

I stepped into the classroom, my hands shaking.

And there he was.

But not the Yehoshua I knew.

He sat in silence, expression unreadable, eyes glazed in a cold haze.

He didn't even blink when I walked in.

I hesitated.

Then, with a breath I could barely hold, I stepped closer.

"Uhm… Yeho…" I whispered, gripping the strap of my bag.

He looked at me.

No warmth.

No teasing.

Just those same hollow eyes.

"What do you want?" he asked.

His voice didn't rise.

He didn't yell.

But somehow… that calm indifference crushed me more than anger ever could.

"I just… I wanted to talk…"

"Well, I don't."

He turned away—

Back to his notebook, back to his silence.

As if I didn't exist.

And in that moment…

I realized just how much I'd broken him.

So I walked away.

Because what else could I do?

Later that day,

I followed him.

I didn't mean to.

My feet just moved.

They led me to the rooftop—the place that used to be ours.

But now… it was his.

He stood alone, the wind ruffling his hair,

his hands in his pockets, his gaze lost in the sky.

He didn't move.

Didn't speak.

Just… existed.

And I watched from behind the rooftop door,

clutching my chest, trying to remember how it used to feel when he looked at me.

I broke the boy who once stayed in the rain just to make me smile.

I broke the only person who truly saw me.

Now…

He didn't even look back.

Tears welled in my eyes as I whispered to no one:

"What have I done…?"

I wanted to run to him.

To say sorry until I ran out of breath.

To beg for a chance—any chance—to fix what I destroyed.

But I didn't.

I just stood there…

Watching him from afar—

The same way he used to watch me walk away.