Wife, Don't Be Like This!

Chapter 5 - What Crime Did Zhang San Commit?

A wife's younger sister can't fall for her brother-in-law, Luo Yuheng muttered like this. She then recalled that in Luo Tianyi's words earlier, she seemed to be quite partial to that Song Yan... This was very unusual.

Could it be that the person Luo Tianyi has taken a fancy to is really Song Yan?

The brother-in-law and the wife's younger sister, is this good?

This is not good!

Her gossiping heart was completely ignited. Luo Yuheng hurriedly called back Luo Tianshu, who had just left, and had him recount everything that happened at the Duke Song's mansion again, down to the last detail.

When she heard that Song Yan's expression was dazed and his eyes were fixed when he first saw Luo Tianyi, her eyebrows shot up. When she heard that Luo Tianyi's voice was hoarse when facing Song Yan, her expression became even more suspicious.

A sore throat?

Strange. There's definitely something strange about this.

……

The Duke's Mansion.

Blazing sun.

Song Yan, dressed in a short jacket, squatted at the doorway, scrubbing the clothes in a wooden basin.

Generally speaking, this kind of task was done by maids, but Song Yan had no maids. It was still fine now; in winter, when the water was bitingly cold and the icy wind pierced the bones, and there was no charcoal fire for warmth, that was when it was truly life-threatening.

He hung the washed clothes on a tree branch to dry. Song Yan stretched his arms forcefully to relieve his somewhat stiff body.

His treatment hadn't changed much, but at least now he would no longer be stopped by servants when leaving the small courtyard. He also had a few pieces of silver on him, sent by a servant under Yang Shi's arrangement, for him to go out and have two sets of decent clothes made.

If the marriage with Luo Tianxuan went through, he would be leaving from the Song family's home. Wearing clothes that were too shabby would also bring shame to the Song family.

Gardens, rockeries, pavilions, courtyards...

He was born here, yet this was the first time Song Yan had the opportunity to take a good look at this mansion.

Occasionally, servants would pass by. Seeing Song Yan's unfamiliar face, they would curiously whisper, "Is this a new servant?"

After hearing the explanation from others, they would usually go "Ah," "So that's the Ninth Young Master who's about to be married off." Then, their gazes towards Song Yan would inevitably carry some pity. Such a handsome young man, yet he had to be a live-in son-in-law in the woman's family. Truly pitiful.

I heard this Ninth Young Master has some problems with his head. It seems to be because he was too traumatized by his mother's death. His mind is sometimes good, sometimes bad. When it's good, he's no different from a normal person. When it's bad, he'll even hug a big rooster and demand that the rooster sing, dance, rap, and play basketball.

Making a rooster sing and dance, if that's not a problem with his head, what is? And what is this 'rap'? Who is 'basketball,' and why do you have to beat him?

It's also thanks to this Ninth Young Master being a bit foolish that he's managed to live until now, right?

The varied gazes made Song Yan feel like he was sitting on a bed of needles. It wasn't that he felt ashamed, but rather that he felt none of these people, whether maids or house-servants, had good intentions. It was a kind of delusion that "there are always treacherous subjects who want to harm Us."

I've been tormented by that Yang Shi for too long, I've become paranoid…

Song Yan shook his head, laughingly cursing himself.

Before there was a result from the Luo family's side, Yang Shi probably wouldn't make a move on him again. For Song Yan, this was a rare moment of leisure.

Perhaps because both the Luo and Song families were in Ningping, the small county town was more prosperous than imagined.

Carriages passed by on the streets from time to to time, shops lined the roads, and constables occasionally patrolled. Although these constables were somewhat arrogant—after all, while constables weren't officials, they were still functionaries, received a salary, and their post could even be passed down for three generations—it was considered a respectable job in these times. As long as you didn't actively provoke them, they wouldn't bother you.

They weren't as domineering and tyrannical as depicted in the movies. Even when they saw the messy street vendors, they didn't drive them away.

The social atmosphere of the Ning Kingdom was relatively open. There wasn't a rule that women could only be confined to the inner courtyards. Women dressed in ruqun passed by on the streets from time to time. Most were slender and had fair skin, possessing the gentle charm of women from a water town.

Although Ningping County was small, it had everything it should have: teahouses, wineshops, inns, pleasure quarters... and brothels.

The entertainment in this world was quite scarce. Often, a single storyteller in a teahouse could attract many patrons. As for the content of the stories, they were mostly tales of chivalrous heroes.

After listening for a short while, he saw a black-faced, boorish man and a pale-faced scholar getting fired up, shouting about punishing the violent and helping the good, and that they were going to kill that dog official, the Ningping County Magistrate. And then... they were taken away by the constables.

In the Ning Kingdom, one was not punished for their words, but shouting in the streets about murdering a court-appointed official, I'm afraid that would earn no less than twenty strikes of the heavy plank.

As for the pleasure quarters, it was a place for listening to songs.

As the saying goes: when one has nothing to do, one goes to the pleasure quarters to listen to songs.

Song Yan also went to listen for a while. Although the girl's voice was pleasant, the melody was truly not something he could appreciate. It wasn't exciting. It wasn't as exciting as the big-breasted beauties on Douyin dancing to "Shake the Sun," let alone those "welfare models."

He couldn't help but sigh. It seemed he was still a vulgar person to the core, unbearably so.

Speaking of which, many people would lump the pleasure quarters and brothels together. In reality, although their businesses overlapped, there were still quite a few differences.

The pleasure quarters primarily sold songs, while the brothels primarily sold bodies.

Of course, as long as you could pay enough, an occasional business switch was not out of the question.

The pleasure quarters mainly catered to the common folk. The fees were cheap; a performance cost only a few copper coins, and it didn't matter much if you didn't pay.

As for the brothels, if you didn't have dozens of taels of silver on you, it was best not to go and humiliate yourself.

Above the pleasure quarters and brothels, there was also the Jiaofangsi. If the pleasure quarters were the streetwalkers and the brothels were the sauna centers, then the Jiaofangsi was the high-end club.

Basically, only princes and nobles were qualified to be patrons. The women inside were mostly the wives and daughters of officials who had committed crimes. They were well-educated, well-versed in zither, Go, calligraphy, and painting. Not only could they accompany patrons to relieve their loneliness, but they could also chat about life and ideals. That was called elegance.

It was said that in the capital, there was a Vice Minister of Finance who had a feud with a high official of the court. After his rival fell from power, was exiled to Lingnan, and his wife and daughters were sent to the Jiaofangsi, the Vice Minister went to the Jiaofangsi every day for a month straight. And he wouldn't request anyone else, only the wife and daughters of his enemy…

He even sent someone on a fast horse to kindly inform his rival of this news, causing the rival to die of anger on the spot. His pettiness even alarmed the Ning Emperor, who gave him a good scolding and then fined him three years' salary.

Ningping County was too small after all, and had no Jiaofangsi. A pity.

There was also a river in the middle of the county town, where an old man was fishing. After watching for a while, and seeing the old man's fish escape twice in a row, Song Yan couldn't help but sigh.

Ah, the fishhook, the fishing rod, the fishing line, the equipment was too poor... If he had his set of equipment from Earth, he guaranteed that in this river, forget fish, not even a single tadpole would get out alive.

A pity that later on, the regulations got strict, and electro-fishing was no longer allowed.

Thinking this, he couldn't help but laugh out loud, earning two eye-rolls from the old fisherman.

Not far away, two old men were arguing about something. Most of it was related to legal cases. When the argument got heated, they would often turn red in the face. Curses like "Damn his mother!" and "Your mother is a maidservant!" came right out of their mouths.

If not for maintaining the decorum of scholars, it probably would have devolved into a scene from a Western parliament, with teacups and shoes flying together, and spit mingling with the vast sky.

He guessed that both men had previously worked in jobs related to law and prisons. As if noticing that Song Yan had been listening from not far away, one old man waved to him:

"Is this young master interested in the law?"

The old man's eyes held a pleasant surprise.

In the Ning Kingdom, entering officialdom through hereditary privilege and through the imperial examinations ran in parallel.

Entering officialdom through hereditary privilege meant that if one's ancestors had meritorious achievements, their descendants could be granted an official position.

There weren't many talented individuals among those who entered officialdom this way. Ever since Emperor Taizong, there had been a conscious effort to reduce the proportion of officials who entered through hereditary privilege, and their room for advancement was limited.

For ordinary people, if they wanted to hold a high position in the court, the imperial examinations were the only way out, and also an important way for the court to select talent.

In fact, even many descendants of noble families who were confident in their own abilities would choose the imperial examinations. Once they passed and had the support of their families, their future prospects would be limitless.

It's just that the imperial examinations tested, first, Confucian classics; second, poetry and essays; third, current affairs and policy discussions; and fourth, miscellaneous studies.

Mathematics and law were all within the scope of miscellaneous studies. Although they were part of the imperial examinations, their weight was extremely small. This directly led to most scholars in the Ning Kingdom discarding the law like a worn-out shoe.

Even if they could pass the highest level of the examinations and be appointed as a county magistrate, county deputy, or even directly enter the Ministry of Punishments as an official, because they didn't understand the law well, they had to learn everything from scratch. This led to many cases where the law was applied incorrectly, sentences were improper, and even a proliferation of wrongful, false, and mistaken cases.

Now that there was finally a young man interested in the law, it made both old men feel quite gratified.

"Uh..." Song Yan was taken aback. He just wanted to see when these two old men would start fighting. However, the eager gazes of the two old men made it hard for him to refuse:

"I'm so-so. It's just that I happened to hear about a case and didn't know how it should be judged..."

"Oh, tell us about it!" The two old men became interested.

"Ahem..." Song Yan cleared his throat: "A person named Zhang San..."

"Goes to the Jade Gathering Garden, finds a prostitute, agrees on a price of fifty taels of silver. Afterwards, he settles the bill with hell money. May I ask, what law did Zhang San break?"

The two old men were stunned, not expecting the case to be so simple.

One old man shook his head repeatedly:

"The Jade Gathering Garden is the most luxurious brothel in the Ning Kingdom, not inferior to the Jiaofangsi in any way. Inside, even the lowest-grade prostitute can't be had for fifty taels. It would cost at least five hundred..."

There really is a brothel called the Jade Gathering Garden in the Ning Kingdom, and I even underestimated its prices. A true sin.

He looked at the old man with a strange gaze: "Old sir, have you been there?"

The old man's expression changed abruptly, his face flushing bright red: "You whelp, do not slander an innocent man's reputation!"

"How could this old man possibly go to such a filthy place? I heard it, it's all hearsay..."

The other old man wouldn't pass up this opportunity to tease him: "You don't go now. After all, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

That old man flew into a rage: "You old scoundrel, how dare you insult me so!"

These two probably had a combined age of one hundred and twenty. If one of them accidentally dropped dead, he would inevitably be in trouble. Song Yan hurriedly changed the subject:

"Then let's say five hundred taels. May I ask, what crime did Zhang San commit?"

One old man said: "Paying with hell money should be fraud..."

The other old man, however, shook his head:

"That's not right. The only pleasure establishment officially recognized and protected by the government is the Jiaofangsi. Although brothels have not been banned, their existence has not been recognized either. They are in a gray area. This means that an agreement on payment for prostitution is not a legally protected contract. Even if Zhang San paid with hell money, it wouldn't count as fraud."

"Then... privately minting coins?"

"Nonsense. Hell money has existed for a thousand years. Everyone knows this stuff is for the dead and won't circulate in the market at all. How can it be considered privately minting coins?"

"Then, the crime of using counterfeit currency?"

"I already said, no one would mistake hell money for real money."

"Then, soliciting a prostitute?"

"Soliciting a prostitute is not against the law in the Ning Kingdom..."

"Then, the crime of forcing a woman?”

"It was consensual, where was the force?"

"Damn his mother, so what crime did this Zhang San actually commit?"

"Damn that Zhang San, your mother is a maidservant..."

The two old men were cursing and grumbling. They hadn't taken this case seriously at first, but who would have thought that such a seemingly simple case would actually stump the two of them, both experts in the law.

For a moment, they wracked their brains, went through every article of the Ning Kingdom's laws, but still couldn't find a single one that could be pinned on Zhang San's head.

"Fuck your mother, this Zhang San is simply an extra-legal maniac..."

"The Ning Kingdom will absolutely not allow such a person to exist."

"Hey, young friend, what crime do you think this Zhang San should be charged with... Huh?"

One old man turned around only to discover that Song Yan was long gone. He immediately flew into a rage:

"That whelp is detestable, even more detestable than that Zhang San..."

"I don't even know which family this kid is from. I forgot to ask his name."

Heaven knows, for people like them who have studied the law their entire lives, to know of such a bizarre case but not know the answer, what kind of torment that was. They probably wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

"Lord Lu, there is a brothel in Ningping County. Why don't we... go and verify things?"

"What Lord Zhao says is absolutely right!"

For Song Yan, this was just a small interlude in his leisure time. While the two old men were researching how to convict Zhang San, he had already fled. He found a tailor shop, ordered two sets of clothes, and returned to the Duke's mansion.

Although Yang Shi was no longer confining him at the moment, the closer it got to this point, the more careful he had to be. He absolutely could not fail just before succeeding.

As for whether the two old men would lose sleep over Zhang San, or go mad and do some incomprehensible things, that had nothing to do with him.

It was just that the atmosphere in the Duke's mansion was a bit off. A carriage was parked in the courtyard, and all the servants in the residence were rushing about. The person who got off the carriage was around forty years old, but with a pale, beardless face, exuding a feminine and gloomy air.

He was dressed as an ordinary merchant, but Song Hongtao and Yang Shi personally came out to greet him, their posture very low. On their faces, Song Yan could even see some fear and sycophancy.

Just then, the middle-aged man seemed to sense something, and abruptly turned to look at Song Yan.

His gaze was like a hook.

After a few breaths, he smiled at Song Yan, then retracted his gaze, as if he wasn't very interested in him.