Xiaobai Is Also Troubled Today

Lin Yunian's eyes were calm, and his tone was sincere.
 
Bai Tingzhi didn't dwell on the small details; it was just their usual back-and-forth banter.

 
Competition? she wondered. Didn't he just say there was something else...?
 

Looking at Lao Lin's back, his serious attitude toward studying always made her feel a little inadequate. She wondered when that back of his had started to look so reliable.
 
“Remember to send it to me when you finish it.”

 
“It might get a little late,” Lin Yunian said without looking up, his eyes fixed on the worksheet.
 

“No rush. I’m going to play some games anyway.” Bai Tingzhi stretched her legs out, swinging them left and right. She braced herself with her hands behind her, perched on the corner of the bed.
 
“Aren't you practicing the piano today?”

 
“They don't know. They should be out by now.”
 

“Not going to exercise? You said last time you were going to work out more. That if you got stronger, you wouldn’t be mistaken for a girl anymore, right?”
 
“Uh... maybe next time. Yeah, next time.”
 

Lin Yunian was a little speechless, though he was used to it.
 
“Anyway, I'm heading out.” Bai Tingzhi got up from the bed, just then remembering that she was the one who had asked Lin Yunian to exercise with her.

 
“I'll walk you out.”
 

“No need.”
 
Despite her protests, Lin Yunian walked out with her.

 
It was getting late, but the small town wasn't completely quiet. Scattered lights dotted the landscape, faintly reflecting one another.
 

“Tomorrow.”
 
“Hmm?” She turned her head, slightly puzzled.

 
“Let's go to the general store again,” Lin Yunian said. “My five hundred million hasn't been deposited yet.”
 

A cool breeze blew down the slope, but Bai Tingzhi's face felt flushed and hot.
 
Lao Lin didn't look back, just kept walking straight ahead. She hesitated for a moment, then hurried to catch up.

 
“But... I didn't end up losing a leg, did I?”
 

“A win is a win. And while the good luck of not losing a leg is nice, a prize has to be collected. Of course, if they really demand a leg tomorrow, then we’ll forget the whole thing.” As was his habit, Lin Yunian walked to the edge of the slope. The wind shifted here, carrying different scents from up and down the hill.
 
“That's five hundred million!” Bai Tingzhi thought Lin Yunian was joking.

 
“I can't make that decision for you.” His calm tone suddenly became decisive and uncompromising.
 

Lin Yunian didn't look at her. Instead, he gazed out at the thousands of lights twinkling below the hillside, as if searching for something.
 
“If you had won, you would have made the same choice, wouldn't you?” Only then did he turn his head, his gaze sharp as he looked at Bai Tingzhi.

 
Bai Tingzhi was stunned for a moment. She realized he was right; she would have considered it that way first. But...
 

“What if I agree?”
 
“A seventy-thirty split?” Lao Lin asked tentatively.

 
“I wouldn't mind giving you an extra ten percent.” Bai Tingzhi put her hands behind her back and stepped in front of Lin Yunian again.
 

She was only half a head shorter than Lin Yunian, so standing on the higher ground, she was finally eye to eye with him.
 
“This is far enough.” Bai Tingzhi turned, glanced at Lin Yunian's hair, and tilted her head with a giggle. “Don't forget to send me the homework.”

 
Lin Yunian, who had been feeling a bit sentimental, was rendered speechless. He watched until Bai Tingzhi disappeared down the road, lingered for a moment, and then turned back.
 

“Time to play some games,” she muttered to herself, clearing the trash off her desk and casually opening her gaming platform.
 
A message popped up immediately.

 
“Xiao B, wanna play tonight?” A message flashed from a friend named ‘DahuangYueWudiTyrannosaurus’.
 

After thinking for a moment, Bai Tingzhi simply replied, “OK.”
 
But even as she agreed to play, her mind wasn't on the game. She felt strange today, her thoughts constantly drifting to unusual places, dwelling on things she normally wouldn't. A single day could feel like a year as you lived through it. As if in a trance, Bai Tingzhi dazedly glanced down at herself. It was all real.

 
She didn't really have that many doubts, and she certainly didn't distrust Lin Yunian. She just couldn't believe what had happened to her, couldn't explain the reason for it. She just couldn't convince herself. She was used to being misunderstood, but she still found herself wishing today had never happened.
 

The experience was bizarre—not unpleasant, but not exactly happy either. She still had a deep fixation on being a boy; she still wanted to be a boy.
 
Her character on the screen moved sluggishly, as if its cerebellum were underdeveloped. She drew and sheathed her long sword, over and over, until a massive dragon tail filled the screen and swept her character away.

 
“Xiao B, what are you doing?!” an anxious, rough voice came from the headset.
 

“It's fine, it's fine...” Bai Tingzhi scrambled with the controls, but she couldn't react in time and was sent flying by a charging dragon, fainting on impact.
 
A loud laugh boomed through her headset. Knowing she wasn't in any condition to fight, Bai Tingzhi had her character stay on a high ledge after respawning. She started grilling some meat while using her binoculars to watch ‘DahuangYueWudiTyrannosaurus’ take on the horned dragon.

 
A heavy blade has no need for a fine edge; great skill appears «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» unrefined. With his masterful greatsword technique, every move seemed prophetic. The dragon's head always seemed to land exactly where his blade was waiting. Within minutes, he had felled the horned dragon all by himself.
 

“What's up? Bad mood?” The voice on the other end sighed in relief. “Fighting a monster scaled for two people is good practice, I guess. But for some reason, that felt easier than usual.”
 
“Huang Yue,” Bai Tingzhi said after a moment of silence.

 
“What's wrong? Logging off?”
 

“Do you believe in... supernatural stuff?”
 
“What, divination? Or spells or something?”

 
Huang Yue's fighting style seemed too full of coincidences. Even knowing it came from hundreds of hours of practice, it still looked uncanny. Was what happened to her also just a “coincidence”?
 

“It's the metaphysical kind of stuff...”
 
“Not really. Your buddy here is all about pure skill,” the voice on the other end said, sounding quite proud. The boast, combined with his rough voice, was comical and a little jarring.

 
Bai Tingzhi couldn't help but laugh, imagining Huang Yue rubbing his own head and giving her a thumbs-up.
 

He seemed to get flustered on the other end; in his excitement, something clattered to the floor.
 
“You don't believe me? Anything's better than your braindead plays!”

 
At that, Bai Tingzhi’s fingers flew across the keyboard, and she jumped into a friendly flame war with Huang Yue, the text scrolling rapidly up the screen.
 

“Gotta rest?” Huang Yue asked, stopping his typing.
 
“Yeah, I'm logging off.”

 
“Alright, go on. I'll hit you up next time.”
 

Bai Tingzhi took off her headphones and hung them on their stand. She checked her phone and saw that when Lin Yunian said he’d be late, he really meant it. Then again, the high school's evening self-study session had probably just ended. It would be ten o'clock in a few minutes.
 
As if on cue, a message notification lit up her phone.

 
She sent Lin Yunian a quick sticker in reply and began copying the homework.
 

It wasn't that she didn't study at all; she just streamlined the tedious parts. She did her own homework at school—what little there was of it. The main reason her grades were so low was probably her terrible English.
 
No point dwelling on it. She quickly finished copying and got into bed.

 
She curled her legs up. This time, there was no familiar pressure between them. An unprecedented emptiness became palpable in the dark. She touched her familiar yet unfamiliar body, forcing herself to suppress the thought.
 

"Did the blanket slip off...?"[1]
 
Her mind racing with stray thoughts, Bai Tingzhi drifted off to sleep.

 
 
TL Notes:

 
[1] The literal translation is "Is the quilt leaking wind?" The feeling of "a quilt leaking wind" is feeling a cold breeze while you're under the covers. Here she feels emptiness where her little brother used to be and this feeling is followed by a feeling of coldness. Here she's trying to avoid the truth by trying to give a rational explanation. TLDR; She's coping from feeling the emptiness where her lil brother used to be.