Although a Villain, My Wish is World Peace

Leaving John and the child behind, I moved my steps.

What happens from now on is their responsibility.

Now, it’s time to do my part. For example, a candid conversation with Han Seo-hyeon, or a dialogue, or a debate…

—Right, now you can’t run away anymore.

‘Yes…’

Unfortunately, we didn’t have much time left. Once we finished preparing to leave America, I was planning to dump the casino business on Taika and bolt.

There are things to do when we return to Korea too, so we didn’t have much time to talk at length.

So I know today is the optimal time to talk, but somehow my feet wouldn’t move, like a cow being dragged to the slaughterhouse.

It’s easy to meddle in other people’s business, but why do I hate it so much when it becomes my business?

As I drooped my shoulders and headed to the elevator like that, Ray whispered to me:

—Wait, haven’t you forgotten something?

‘Forgotten what?’

—You need to buy food!

Oh no, I almost made a big mistake!

* * *

As soon as I arrived at the hotel, a black shadow pounced on me.

“Food!”

Kim Jae-ho snatched the plastic bag from my hand. I was newly grateful for Ray’s advice. If I had come empty-handed, I don’t want to imagine what would have happened.

“That’s not all yours! Share it with others!”

“Okay!”

Kim Jae-ho answered me energetically, but judging by the fact that he had already stuffed two hot dogs in his mouth, he didn’t seem to be taking it to heart.

Behind Kim Jae-ho, I saw Cha Song-jin and Edward with a tired face. I said to the two:

“You were all hungry, right? Eat first.”

“Looks like we’ll need Jae-ho’s permission for that…”

Cha Song-jin looked at Kim Jae-ho who had his nose buried in the plastic bag with a disgusted expression.

“Kim Jae-ho!”

At my call, Kim Jae-ho reluctantly handed the plastic bag to Cha Song-jin. Cha Song-jin who received the bag immediately opened it for Edward.

[Um, thank you.]

[You’re welcome.]

To be able to manage with just this short conversation. It was impressive.

Edward looked at me with a face that said he had something to say, but unfortunately, I had a prior engagement.

Han Seo-hyeon who appeared quietly like a ghost behind the two was looking at me with a terrifying face.

“Seo-hyeon, you should eat something too…”

“I’m not hungry.”

To say such words when he must be hungry after skipping lunch to raid Diana’s base means he’s that urgent to talk.

—It means he doesn’t want to give you any room to run away. This is all because you ran away at the slightest excuse.

I had nothing to say.

“I won’t run away, so eat something first…”

“I told you I’m not hungry.”

It feels like my head will be split in half if I insist one more time.

‘It’s not the atmosphere for me to say I’m hungry, right?’

—You know well.

I had no choice but to look at the hot dogs with wistful eyes before moving with Han Seo-hyeon.

As soon as we entered a small room attached to the living room, Han Seo-hyeon pointed to a chair with his eyes and said:

“Sit there.”

It was usually me who said to sit down because I had something to say. I sat down awkwardly on the chair Han Seo-hyeon pointed to. I felt uncomfortable as if sitting on pins and needles.

“Haah.”

My shoulders trembled involuntarily at the deep sigh. Though he had sat me down like this, he didn’t easily open his mouth. Seeing his face that seemed to have a lot to say, it looked like he was considering which words to start with.

“Why did you stop me earlier?”

Han Seo-hyeon’s question after deliberation went straight to the point. I first rolled my eyes at that question.

Why did I stop him?

The answer is simple.

Because I didn’t want to see Han Seo-hyeon killing people.

But that alone won’t be enough to convince Han Seo-hyeon. So he’ll probably ask ‘why’ I stopped him from killing people.

“You’re not answering?”

Han Seo-hyeon’s words sharpened at my silence. I startled and continued speaking:

“Just, I was thinking about how to answer.”

“What is there to think about? If you stopped me, there must be a reason.”

“Umm, you roughly know too. That…”

“Because you don’t like me killing people?”

So he did know.

“Why?”

As I expected, a question asking for the reason followed.

The answers I can give are limited.

You’re still young.

You’re not ready yet.

I just don’t like it.

Only shoddy reasons that will immediately be countered. In fact, 1 and 2 are the same thing, so in the end, I’m stopping Han Seo-hyeon without much reason. Just to make myself feel better.

“I’ve become much stronger. I thought I had become strong enough that Boss wouldn’t have to worry anymore…”

“I know you’re strong.”

I couldn’t meet Han Seo-hyeon’s eyes and turned my gaze elsewhere.

I know how much effort Han Seo-hyeon has put in to become stronger.

How hard Han Seo-hyeon worked to hone his skills using bones, and how amazing the bone bomb technique he created is.

And what I’m doing with this amazing person Han Seo-hyeon…

—Why are you suddenly shrinking?

‘I suddenly thought whether such an esteemed person should come to this lowly Weltschmerz…’

—You’re talking nonsense again.

‘Yes, it’s nonsense.’

I could certainly understand why Han Seo-hyeon became dissatisfied.

I always devised strategies considering our combat strength. That was also the reason I initially excluded Han Seo-hyeon from combat. Because Han Seo-hyeon’s ability wasn’t suitable for combat.

But Han Seo-hyeon became stronger, and I could no longer exclude him from combat for that reason.

This is what Han Seo-hyeon is saying.

I’ve become strong now. So include me now too.

But I still excluded Han Seo-hyeon from direct combat, so his dissatisfaction erupted.

“Is it because I’m not reliable? You know I can handle things properly too.”

“That’s the problem. That you can handle things properly.”

With one order from me, Han Seo-hyeon would kill the person in front of him without any hesitation. That was the problem. That Han Seo-hyeon came to think of killing people as nothing. And that it was probably because of me.

Unlike Kim Jae-ho who lived an inhumane life in a laboratory and developed twisted standards, Han Seo-hyeon was a person who had lived a normal life.

Isn’t it all my fault that such a kid came to say these things so casually?

—Well, I think that kid was a bit twisted from the start too…

‘If this situation hadn’t come, and if he hadn’t met me, things would have been different.’

I think I’m a villain.

So I’ve committed things a villain would do without any guilt until now.

Lying, stealing, killing. And I’ll repeat such things countless times in the future to achieve my goals.

Because I’m that kind of person.

What I hadn’t thought about was that children who sincerely follow me like this appeared, and that because of me, even those children are about to fall into the same mire as me.

—So you don’t want them to be stained by you anymore, right?

‘Yes, if you put it that way.’

—Do you think that’s possible?

As long as they’re within this framework called Weltschmerz, it’s impossible.

Because as long as I, a villain, lead it, Weltschmerz will inevitably become villains too.

Villains who can’t be free from the judgment of the law, who will be pointed at wherever they go.

I’m okay with being treated like that.

But I didn’t want Han Seo-hyeon and Kim Jae-ho to be treated like that.

It might be too late already, but how can I help being concerned now?

—You’re saying your conscience suddenly started working?

‘Yes…’

It’s okay for me to do bad things. Because I’m already corrupted. Because I’m a bad guy. But Han Seo-hyeon and Kim Jae-ho are different, aren’t they?

The two of them still had room to turn back.

“What exactly is the problem?”

If I say I don’t want you at least to fall into the mire like me, how would Han Seo-hyeon answer? Wouldn’t this terribly kind kid say it doesn’t matter?

“I can kill too. I don’t even care from the start. Whether I kill a few people now or not. What difference does it make?”

“That’s why you saying such things itself is the problem.”

“What exactly is the problem! Why is it okay for Boss to kill dozens of people, and okay for Jae-ho hyung too, but why only me, only me?”

Han Seo-hyeon who shouted like that cried out sorrowfully:

“I can do it too, I can do it well too. Why are you leaving only me out?”

“That’s why I’m trying to think about this again this time. Jae-ho too from now on…”

“Why, why did you start thinking again? Because of me?”

“It’s not that…”

“It’s not that it’s not that! You’re saying you’ll stop because of me, aren’t you? Why, why are you suddenly like this? It was fine until now, why are you suddenly saying it’s not okay when I try to join in?”

Han Seo-hyeon said as if he couldn’t understand why I was suddenly like this:

“I’m not that weak of a person. I can help Boss too.”

Certainly, if they’re with me, they won’t be able to avoid crossing the line eventually. As long as I’m outside the line, my words telling them not to cross over here won’t work.

But what can I do if I don’t want to drag you outside this line?

“I think I was wrong. So from now on…”

“Is that all you have to say to me?”

Han Seo-hyeon said coldly. His eyes glaring at me were full of resentment. Resentment for not listening to his words until the end, resentment for pushing him away.

“Can’t you just acknowledge me?”

“This isn’t a matter of acknowledging or not. I do acknowledge you…”

“No, you don’t. You still see me as just a child.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Then tell me. Why was there no problem with Jae-ho hyung all this time, but only me isn’t okay?”

Well, that’s because the image of Kim Jae-ho I saw in the past was stuck in my memory, but I couldn’t tell him that fact.

Han Seo-hyeon who frowned seeing me unable to say anything bit his lip.

“If you want to stop me, you’ll need to give a more proper answer.”

Seo-hyeon-ah.”

“You don’t seem prepared today, so I’ll give you time to prepare. But if you act like this next time too, then I’ll do as I please.”

I couldn’t stop Han Seo-hyeon who said those words and left the room.

Urgh…

—If you were planning to persuade him, you should have prepared more convincing words. Did you think he would fall for words that can’t even convince yourself?

Ray’s words painfully stabbed my heart.

‘Actually, don’t I lack the qualities of a leader?’

—Oh? So what are you going to do? Are you thinking of releasing all of them now? Telling them to live their own lives? Whether you have the qualities of a leader or not, now that you’ve decided to embrace them, you need to take proper responsibility.

I nodded at Ray’s words. It’s already too late to talk about qualities. Han Seo-hyeon has already waited a lot. In that battle that day, and today at the hotel too.

Didn’t he give this lacking leader one last chance? I can’t miss this opportunity.

—So use that unmoving head of yours and think well. What choice you should make if you really care for him.

The problem is it’s too overwhelming for me to solve alone. Just as I was agonizing over what exactly to say to Han Seo-hyeon, the door opened slightly.

“Can we talk for a moment?”

It was Cha Song-jin.