Bleach: I Bound the Hōgyoku, Sterilized a Goddess, I Might Die

"Art really comes from life."

After pulling out Kurosaki Masaki, Kanbaru sat cross-legged on the sofa.

Really average, nothing to see.

Believe me (pulls up pants).

"In addition—"

"Shihouin Yoruichi, since your identity has been exposed, why do you still come to me?"

Looking at the black cat squatting beside him, Kanbaru covered his forehead with a headache.

"That's not okay."

"It was agreed you'd neuter me, of course I'm coming back."

Shihouin Yoruichi flicked her tail and leapt onto Kanbaru's lap: "Also, is that how you talk to a noble lady?"

"Lady?"

"But you're clearly a cat right now, and you're also the most dangerous black cat in existence."

Under Shihouin Yoruichi's curious gaze, Kanbaru said solemnly: "When I was a kid, I once saw a black cat riding a motorcycle with a pistol, killing off dozens of rats."

Shihouin Yoruichi: "..."

You're talking about Black Cat Sheriff, aren't you?

"Don't change the subject."

"You promised to neuter me—"

"Or do you want a special service instead?"

Shihouin Yoruichi licked her paw and casually dropped the line.

Murderous intent oozed in waves!

"That... this 'special service' you're talking about—is that serious?"

"Fine."

"If you have any tricks, just throw them at me. I, Kurosaki Kanbaru, can take anything like a man!"

Kanbaru stood, poured a glass of water, and turned to hand it to her—

"Goddamn it!"

"Why are you suddenly in human form?!"

"Clothes!"

"Put on your damn clothes, you lunatic!"

After a moment of chaos—

Wrapped in a blanket, Shihouin Yoruichi sat cross-legged opposite Kanbaru, smiling: "Does it look good?"

"..."

How am I supposed to answer that?

Also, I really can't handle this kind of tactic.

Kanbaru scratched his head, defeated.

"What a funny kid."

"Back then, even they tried to flirt with me."

Shihouin Yoruichi chuckled, clearly satisfied with her revenge.

"Men believe lies, men exaggerate, men deceive men. Heaven gave them mouths just to get in trouble."

"I think they all wanted to peep on me."

Kanbaru dropped a string of idioms, basically exposing her purpose.

"It can't be helped."

"You know just how dangerous the Hōgyoku is—and Aizen might take interest in you."

Shihouin Yoruichi admitted bluntly that she was here to keep an eye on Kanbaru.

That's just who she is. Despite being a woman, her spirit is bold and direct.

"What about that green-flag cuckold?"

"He's also on your watchlist, right?"

Kanbaru poured her a glass of water again and pressed her.

(Urahara Kisuke: ??? Are you serious? Also, why emphasize the green so hard?!)

"You really know a lot, Kanbaru."

Shihouin Yoruichi stopped stretching lazily and stared at him.

Most people assume that she's loyal to Urahara Kisuke simply because they grew up together. But that's not entirely true.

Urahara Kisuke is dependable. He has insight and intelligence far beyond average.

Even Aizen acknowledged that Urahara Kisuke might surpass him in intellect.

But he's also dangerously unpredictable—just like Aizen.

And let's not forget—

Urahara Kisuke is one of the creators of the Hōgyoku.

So… how was the Hōgyoku created?

Through fusing countless human souls, Shinigami souls, and Hollow souls in a highly specific ratio under extremely rare conditions, forming a super-dimensional entity.

The entire process is unrepeatable. The success rate is nearly zero.

So here's the terrifying question—

Where did Urahara Kisuke obtain all those souls? How many failed experiments did it take?

And more importantly—

Why did he want to create the Hōgyoku in the first place?

These questions don't survive scrutiny.

Most damning of all—during the Thousand-Year Blood War, Shihouin Yoruichi admitted she stayed close to Urahara to monitor him.

Urahara Kisuke knew this, too. He even said, "If I keep doing reckless things, Yoruichi will definitely abandon me."

When Aizen discovered the Hōgyoku's existence and sought to claim it, Urahara chose to withdraw, ceasing all further experimentation.

But how did Kanbaru know any of this?

Shihouin Yoruichi wanted to dig deeper and collect intel—

Click.

The bathroom door suddenly opened.

Kanbaru looked up.

Shihouin Yoruichi had turned back into her black cat form.

"Finally alive."

Kurosaki Masaki came out in a yukata, brushing her orange hair.

She spotted Shihouin Yoruichi immediately.

Masaki ran over, knelt on the sofa, picked up the black cat, and smiled: "Xiao Hei! Where have you been lately?"

Xiao Hei?! Really?

Shihouin Yoruichi was speechless.

No defense, no reserve, just scooped me up like a plushie—stringing words together…

Lost in thought, Shihouin Yoruichi didn't resist, and Masaki suddenly spread her legs—

"You really meant to neuter her?!"

"MEOW!!!"

Scene change.

With tears in her eyes, Kurosaki Masaki squatted on the floor pitifully, holding her nose. A few new cross-shaped white claw marks stood out clearly.

If it weren't for her awakened Blut and her defensive Blut Vene, she'd be in the ER right now.

"…"

Neuter?!

Kill me already!

Also—what is wrong with you siblings?!

Why are you both obsessed with neutering me?!

Shihouin Yoruichi leapt back beside Kanbaru, licking her paw nonchalantly.

"That… your towel slipped."

After a brief pause—

Kanbaru gave a deadpan reminder.

And truth be told… that towel was really white.

"Eh?!"

"You pervert, Kanbaru—GO TO HELL!"