Caught in the Villainess Crossfire: My Totally Not Heroic Isekai Life

Okay, so we've been walking for, what, like… eight hours now? I'm starting to wonder if anyone knows where we're even going. I mean, we were supposed to be on some quest, right? But all we've done is walk. Is this what adventuring is? Just endless walking?

Seriously, my legs are dying, and every time I glance at the girls, it feels like I'm being judged.

Alicia's up ahead, like always. Composed. Perfect. But I swear she keeps glancing back at me. Does she think I'm about to drop dead or something? And that smile? It's like she's hiding something. I'm not imagining this, right? She's gotta be laughing at my expense.

Then there's Seraphina. Always with that "I'm better than you" vibe. She doesn't even need to say anything for me to know she's silently judging everything. I can practically hear her inner monologue: "Oh Haruto. How brave. How bold. How utterly ridiculous." Yeah, thanks for that, Seraphina. I feel so much better.

Iris? Oh, she's absolutely loving this. Like, really loving it.

"Hey, Haruto," she says, her voice dripping with mischief as she sways her hips, making sure to catch my eye. "So, are you okay after all that stuff with Lucia-sama? Need a moment to recover from your... embarrassment?"

Ugh, why does she enjoy this so much? I feel like she's got a personal vendetta against me. Maybe she's trying to be helpful in her own messed-up way? Who knows. But if this is her version of "helping," she's failing miserably.

And then, just to make things worse, she strikes a pose. Yeah, poses. I swear, it's like she thinks she's in some kind of photoshoot. She plants her hands on her hips, puffs out her chest, and shifts her weight from one foot to the other. Her tail—that fluffy tail—wriggles behind her, and she wraps it around my neck like some sort of playful noose. "Aww, come on, Haruto. You really can't handle a little embarrassment?" She practically purrs the words, the tip of her tail flicking against my skin. I hate this.

The whole time, she's making sure to jiggle around and draw attention to herself, her ridiculously short rogue outfit doing absolutely nothing to keep her modesty intact. Her miniskirt might as well be a belt, and don't get me started on how her cropped top barely holds everything in place. It's like she knows exactly how uncomfortable she's making me and decides to double down. "You know," she continues, stretching out like a cat, "I think I might need a real hero to help me with something... you know... important." She winks, and her tail loops tighter around my neck, just to add insult to injury.

This is insane. How am I supposed to deal with this? Every time I look at her, I can feel my face burning. And the worst part? She knows it.

And she loves it.

"Oh, Haruto," she says with a grin, "you really do make everything so fun." She flicks her hair and takes a step closer, her bare feet making no noise as she hovers just a little too close for comfort. "You know, if you want, I could teach you how to handle all this feminine energy." She winks again, again, and I swear I'm going to lose it.

Why is she like this? Is this what my life has become? Stuck in this absurd game world, being constantly tormented by a little fox-girl chaos gremlin with a tail and too much energy?

I can't escape. This is my life now.

Evelyn's just quiet. Too quiet. It's like she's floating or something. Her "angelic" expression just makes me feel like crap. I know what she's thinking—"Poor Haruto… He doesn't know what he's doing." Does she think I'm an idiot? Great, everyone's got their own little way of mocking me.

And honestly? I'm supposed to be the hero's childhood friend, but instead, I'm just the awkward dude in the back, watching everyone else be awesome. While I'm over here, just trying to keep up.

I mean, I thought I'd be a hero. Guess not. I'm the freaking punchline of this stupid game world.

How the hell didn't I lose it before getting isekai'd here? Seriously, how did I not snap after spending 1000 hours in that game just to end up as the useless sidekick in some ridiculous fantasy world? There I was, thinking I was gonna be the legendary hero's best friend, fighting epic battles and saving the day, but nope! Instead, I'm just stuck being the butt of every joke in a group full of actual heroes.

How does anyone keep their sanity in this kind of world? What the heck was I even expecting? Was it supposed to be fun? Am I supposed to feel honored to be the "sidekick" or something? News flash, it sucks. And that's putting it lightly.

Honestly, at this point, I'm just waiting for the day I snap and start yelling at everyone like some kind of cartoon character. That's the only thing I haven't done yet. How long until I lose it completely? Would that even be considered "character development" or would I just be another punchline?

But nope. I'm still trudging along. Barely hanging on.

But seriously, guys, where are we even going?

"Hey, Alicia," I ask, trying to sound cool, but my feet are like bricks now. "How much longer? We've been walking for like eight hours. Are we even on the right track?"

She turns back, smiling way too sweetly. "We're getting close, Haruto. Don't worry."

I stare at her, trying not to say the first thing that comes to mind—"Close? We've been walking in circles for hours!" But I just nod. No need to give them more ammo.

Then, of course, Iris jumps in, grinning like a maniac. "Oh yeah, soooo close," she purrs, dragging out the "so" way too much. "Just a few more hours of walking, we're practically there... maybe you'll even get a reward for your hard work, Haruto~" She gives me this way too flirtatious wink, and starts swaying her hips, like she's trying to get me to lose my mind.

She pauses for a moment and leans in, her voice dropping into this low, teasing tone, "Unless, of course, you need... something to keep you going. Maybe I could help with that?" She flashes a grin, chest wobbling with every exaggerated movement.

Ugh, seriously, why does she enjoy this so much? I feel my face go red, and my brain's just screaming for me to ignore her and not give her the satisfaction of knowing she's getting to me.

But nope, I'm stuck here, trying not to die of secondhand embarrassment while Iris is somehow managing to make walking feel like the most awkward thing in the world.

Evelyn just nods, not saying anything, but that "I'm too pure for this world" look she's giving me? Makes me feel like a total loser.

sigh Is this some kind of test? How far can Haruto go before he collapses? Is that the goal?

I'm stuck, walking with the weight of the world on my shoulders, and no clue where we're going. I've never felt more like a sidekick in my life.

But hey, at least the view's nice, right? (¬‿¬)