DanMachi: Cheat? What's a Cheat?

Chapter 26 – Morning Competition and Crazy Ideas

After splitting up with that goblin, I used the potion in my bag to get rid of the blue bruises on my face.

If I didn't treat it, it'd swell up tomorrow.

If my face got all swollen, I probably wouldn't even recognize myself in the mirror.

Besides, I didn't want goddess Hestia to worry - she's been acting kinda weird these past few days.

I keep catching her staring at me with this guilty look, and I don't know what's up with goddess Hestia. Though usually at dinner I eat goddess Hestia's cooking that tastes weird but delicious.

Even though I wanna help goddess Hestia, I don't know what I'm supposed to help with.

Since I don't know what's making goddess Hestia feel guilty, I just ignore trying to help goddess Hestia.

I even thought for a while that maybe goddess Hestia feels guilty 'cause she doesn't cook much.

Whatever, I eat way too much anyway, since I wanna grow taller.

Lucky for me, the food goddess Hestia cooks has meat with obviously tons of protein.

Thanks to goddess Hestia's cooking.

I even feel like my height's reached 161 cm - that's 1 cm more!

Though sometimes I feel my stomach hurts a bit, I don't think it's weird - maybe I just eat too much.

About the stomach pain, I'm not lying - it hurts so bad I even use the potions I bought.

You know I bought 2 potions for 1600. One I used in the dungeon, the other I used to get rid of the stomach pain.

I feel kinda reluctant since I'm dirt poor, but even though I'm reluctant I don't have a choice - who could've guessed the stomach pain would feel this painful?

So every night I have to drink one potion to get rid of the pain.

Even though I feel like my heart's bleeding, I try to get over it by saying: "as long as my height's increasing, the money I'm spending and the pain I'm feeling is nothing."

I say that while drinking the potion with a sad expression (╥﹏╥)

So every day I'm spending 1600 valis.

While lamenting how broke I am.

I'm resting at the dungeon entrance, I feel like I need to buy a new sword since the goblin took it.

Actually I wanted to take that sword back, but I'm kinda scared.

What if that goblin gets mad 'cause I try to take the sword back?

Whatever, the senior goblin's weapon got destroyed so he needs a new weapon.

My sword happens to be good quality, obviously that goblin already wanted my sword.

I don't feel sad about losing that sword, whatever - it's a sword I got from the guild by borrowing.

Thinking about the guild makes me so mad.

That anger bubbles up every time I remember my first day at the adventurer's guild.

My naive face accepting a beginner's equipment set, thinking it was a blessing. For me, a guy from a remote village.

In reality, it was debt - a 25,000 valis burden that immediately got slapped on my name.

Last night I just traded the magic stones I got from the dungeon and started counting all the money I've made these past few days.

Counting my remaining money after buying food, there's about 30,393 valis. I thought I was finally rich.

But after subtracting that damn debt, the value crashed to just 5,393 valis.

All my hard work for a week felt pointless. Even though I'm mad, I can't blame them - whatever, it's my fault for being poor.

But still, I'm pissed. I accepted that ugly beginner armor like mithril armor and thanked the guild that felt like a bunch of robbers.

I even almost fainted from high blood pressure - who wouldn't be mad when I haven't even gotten to enjoy my money yet?

But it's already reduced in value.

I feel like god Ouranos is a true capitalist, I feel like his face is also unpleasant to look at.

No, even hearing his name is unpleasant.

Throwing away thoughts about the guild, I wonder what that senior goblin wanted - I keep thinking about it every day.

But I'm still confused, what does that goblin actually want? I don't know, but I hope it's not something that'll endanger me.

Hopefully he's not planning revenge by inviting his friends to a "beat up the human" party.

Suddenly I hear annoyed cursing around me.

"Damn it! Again, no monsters on floor 1!"

"Yeah, it's been like this for days!"

"How am I supposed to get magic stones like this?"

"My girlfriend said she'll leave me 'cause I can't make money."

An adventurer spoke while complaining, "I already went to the guild to ask if something's wrong. The guild's response said nothing's wrong."

Making them confused.

They're confused for a moment, not finding the cause of why floor 1 keeps being empty.

They start cursing again with enthusiasm.

"..."

I stay silent. No guys, why are you enthusiastic about cursing?

I think about the reason - maybe they're really mad these past few days.

Now they're venting.

Suddenly there's a shy newbie, kinda stuttering, he says, "Ma-maybe there's an adventurer who comes earlier?"

Hearing that, they go silent and start thinking.

They're all enlightened.

"Ah! Why did the guild say nothing's wrong? There must be someone who came first!"

They start discussing and finally make a decision. They have to come earlier to the dungeon to see who's coming to kill monsters on floor 1.

"We're coming at 4 AM tomorrow!"

"Agreed! We'll catch the monster thief red-handed!"

"Yeah! Let's see who dares to take our livelihood!"

Hearing what they said, I frown a bit.

Want to steal monsters on floor 1? No way! If you guys come at 4 AM, I'll come at 3 AM. If you guys come at 3 AM, I'll come at 2 AM. Even if I have to, I'll camp in the dungeon!

Nothing can stop me from reaching S stats in 2 months.

This is a war of attrition, and I won't lose.

Thinking like that, I leave the dungeon.

It's still 6 AM.

I immediately make a daily list of what I'll do, in my head.

I'll buy food at the usual place, then go have breakfast and buy a new sword.

At the same bread cart, the middle-aged seller greets me warmly, "Morning again, kid. Your face looks kinda... problematic."

"Training," I answer briefly while ordering regular wheat bread.

I'm used to this guy who should be an artist. But sells bread as a hobby.

Is he making art? The art of making bread? I wonder if he wants to try the bread seller profession to make art?

Honestly I don't understand art.

I'm like a blind person being asked what the color blue looks like.

Thinking like that, I take the bread and pay 50 valis.

"Hard training, huh," he laughs a little.

"But be careful, don't let the training be more dangerous than the dungeon itself."

"Yeah, don't worry, I know what I'm doing."

I answer casually then leave to eat bread at the usual place.

After breakfast at the same park, I start thinking about the sword problem. I go to the weapon shop that looks most affordable. Not the fancy one where main characters usually shop in anime, but one that fits a beginner adventurer's budget.

"Good morning," greets the shopkeeper, a big guy with muscular arms.

"What do you need?"

"A sword. Cheap but won't break when used."

He shows me several options. "This is a regular iron sword, 2,000 valis. This slightly better one, 3,500 valis."

I look around and suddenly realize something.

I think about what happened before.

I'm helpless if I don't have a sword. What happened earlier is solid proof of how fragile I am without a weapon.

"I'll take two swords," I decide. "The 2,000 valis ones."

"Two?" he stares at me confused. "What for?"

"Backup. If one sword isn't enough, there's still another one."

He shakes his head in surprise then slowly turns to get the swords while smiling. "Adventurers these days are really unique."

From the remaining 5,393 valis I had, after paying for bread and these two swords, now I only have 1,343 valis left.

A very sad number.

Thinking about god Ouranos, I suddenly feel like he's even more unpleasant to look at.

After leaving the shop, I start thinking about other problems. I need to practice martial arts. But I don't have a teacher or sparring partner. Even if there were, it'd definitely be expensive.

And with my limited financial situation...

Suddenly I think of a really crazy idea.

"What if I make that goblin my martial arts training partner?"

I stop in the middle of the street. That idea is so crazy.

So stupid.

So dangerous.

But... also kinda makes sense?

That goblin's clearly a fighting genius. He didn't kill me even though he could. He even sat and listened (though didn't respond) when I talked. Most importantly, he's FREE.

Yeah, FREE.

Thinking about free, I feel like I've heard those words before. I think that red crab once said something like that.

"There's no martial arts teacher cheaper than free," I mutter.

Plus, he's always there. No need for appointments or hourly payments. Available 24/7 like the best customer service.

"But how do I get him to agree to be a sparring partner?" I ask myself.

Maybe I could bring a gift? Or maybe... more serious negotiation?

The more I think about it, the more this idea sounds reasonable. Even though it also sounds more and more like the fastest way to commit suicide.

"Alright," I decide while walking toward the dungeon again.

"Worst case scenario, I die. Best case scenario, I have a free genius martial arts teacher."

With two swords on my back and a crazy idea in my head, I head back to the dungeon. The clock still shows 7:37 AM on the clock I saw at the sword shop earlier.

There's still time for this very dangerous social experiment.

"Hope that goblin's still in a... cooperative mood," I mutter while going down to floor 1.

For some reason, I feel like this'll be a very interesting day. Or very painful.

Maybe both.