DanMachi: Cheat? What's a Cheat?

Chapter 27 – Cross-Species Communication

Back to the dungeon with two swords on my back and a crazy idea in my head, I headed straight to floor 2 without wasting time on floor 1.

After cleaning out all the monsters on floor 1 at the crack of dawn, now it's time for a bigger challenge.

Fighting the senior Goblin.

But of course, my plans never go smoothly.

Not even five minutes on floor 2, that familiar green figure appeared from behind the stone wall.

The senior Goblin stood upright with an attitude that seemed to say "Surprise! Guess who's back?"

I'm used to his sudden appearances by now. What confuses me is how he always knows when I'm coming?

Other adventurers never see him.

I've asked several adventurers who frequent floor 2, none of them have ever encountered a goblin with these characteristics.

Does he have some special ability to mark his enemies? Or maybe he's got a personal radar that only detects my presence?

Does he have the ability to mark his enemies?

Or maybe he's got some advanced tracking skill?

Throwing away those messy thoughts, I saw the goblin standing in front of me in a relaxed position.

Not in an attacking stance, but not in a friendly position either.

"Alright," I cleared my throat.

"We need to talk."

The goblin tilted his head with a confused expression. His pointy ears moved slightly, like he was trying to catch an unfamiliar sound.

"Okay, seems like you don't understand human language," I muttered while scratching my head.

"How do you communicate with monsters anyway?"

Suddenly I remembered movies where humans communicate with animals using body language.

Maybe this could work?

I raised both hands with palms facing forward. This is the universal sign for 'peace', right?

The goblin tilted his head, putting on a confused expression that looked like a dog being asked about Einstein's theory of relativity.

"I mean, we always meet but never really... get acquainted," I continued while raising both hands to show I had no intention of attacking.

"I've got an interesting proposal."

The goblin's red eyes stared at me with a blank look.

It's clear he doesn't understand a single word I'm saying.

First, I pointed to myself with my index finger.

"Me," I said while pointing to my chest with an exaggerated gesture.

Then I pointed toward him.

"You," while pointing at the goblin.

The goblin stared at me with an increasingly confused expression, but he nodded slowly.

Seems like he's starting to understand the basic concept of "me" and "you". Progress!

Now for the more complicated part. I raised both hands and made gestures like I was fighting.

"Fight," I said while making punching and kicking motions in the air.

The goblin nodded enthusiastically. Seems like the concept of "fighting" is a universal language.

But then I made a more complex gesture.

I joined my hands together, then separated them with a gentle motion, trying to convey "together" or "cooperation".

"Fight... together?" I muttered while repeating that gesture.

The goblin stared at me with a very confused expression. He tried to understand what I meant by making weird gestures of his own.

He pointed at me, then at himself, then made a gesture like... hugging? Or maybe wrestling?

No, dude I want to cooperate. Not hug. I'd rather stop entering the dungeon than hug a Goblin.

I scratched my head in confusion. "What are you doing?"

Actually, the goblin was pretty good at body language, I'm just too stupid to understand.

He tried again with simpler gestures.

Pointing at me, pointing at himself, then making a gesture like shaking hands.

"Oh! Getting acquainted?" I asked while mimicking his gesture.

The goblin nodded enthusiastically, but then he made an even more complex gesture.

He pointed at me, then at the swords on my back, then made a gesture like... teaching?

I scratched my head in embarrassment.

The longer the goblin explained, the more annoyed his expression became.

Clearly he was running out of patience dealing with a human who's slow at understanding body language.

Seeing the Goblin start to get into a sword stance, I panicked a bit.

"Wait, wait," I said while raising my hands.

"I don't—"

But it was too late. With an annoyed expression that had reached its limit, the goblin immediately attacked me.

Reflexively, I drew one of my swords and started fighting. This time I was more prepared than before.

With two swords as backup, I felt more confident.

But of course, confidence and ability are two different things.

Not even a minute in, my first sword was already flying somewhere thanks to a very precise attack from the goblin.

I quickly drew my second sword and continued the fight.

"Aha! Still got one more!" I shouted proudly.

The goblin put on an even more annoyed expression.

Seems like he thinks I'm cheating by bringing two swords. Or maybe he's annoyed because he has to work twice as hard to disarm me.

Two minutes later, my second sword also went flying.

Breathing heavily, I backed up a few steps and got into a boxing stance that I learned from what I remembered from my previous life.

A very amateur stance, but at least it's better than no stance at all.

"Alright, final round!" I shouted while raising both fists.

The goblin stared at me with a very annoyed expression.

Seems like he knows that now I'm truly defenseless.

No more swords to protect me.

With an annoyed expression on his face, he attacked me with movements more aggressive than before.

Not even two minutes, I was already sprawled on the dungeon floor with bruises in various places.

"Mister Goblin, stop hitting me!" I shouted while covering my face with my hands.

"I'm gonna become stupid if I keep getting beaten up!" I felt my head getting fuzzy, if I took another hit I'd definitely become mentally disabled.

The goblin stopped attacking and stared at me with a satisfied expression.

Seems like he felt he'd given enough lessons for today.

But then he started doing sign language again.

This time his movements were more patient and slow, like a teacher teaching a very slow student.

I'm still confused about what he means.

The goblin looked increasingly angry seeing my stupidity, then he hit me again.

But this time his punch wasn't too hard, more like a hard pinch from a mother teaching her child.

Then he taught me again with simpler gestures.

Then hit me again when I still didn't understand.

"Ouch! Why are you like a strict teacher?" I protested while rubbing my head that just got hit.

I complained. However, the Goblin didn't care as if he didn't hear it.

This pattern kept repeating.

The goblin would teach me something with body language, I'd be confused, he'd hit me, then teach me again.

Like a parent teaching their child to study with a very... physical method.

I felt very tortured.

This goblin is so sadistic! He hits me but expects me to understand what he means.

I could only be angry in my heart but couldn't do anything because clearly he's stronger.

After several cycles of "teach-hit-teach", I started catching patterns in his movements.

He pointed at me, then at himself, then made a gesture like shaking hands. Then he pointed toward my scattered swords, then made a gesture like teaching or showing something.

"Oh!" I suddenly exclaimed.

"You... you want to be friends? And teach me to fight?"

The goblin nodded enthusiastically, his eyes sparkling like a child who's finally understood by an adult.

"But why do you keep hitting me?" I asked while rubbing my still-stinging cheek.

As an answer, he made a gesture showing the learning process.

He pointed at me, then made a gesture like someone who's learning (with somewhat awkward movements), then he pointed at himself and made a gesture showing "teaching" (with more confident movements).

Then he made a gentle punching motion, as if saying "this is part of the learning process."

"So... the hitting is... your teaching method?" I muttered while staring at him in disbelief.

The goblin nodded innocently, as if the method of "learning while getting hit" was the most normal thing in the world.

"Sadistic teacher," I grumbled while getting up slowly.

"But if you really want to teach me..."

I looked toward my scattered swords.

Then stared at the goblin who was still standing with an expression waiting for my answer.

Through this complicated communication, it seems like the goblin just wants to be friends. Or at least, he wants to have a sparring partner who won't die after getting hit a few times.

"Alright," I finally said while sighing.

"But can you make your method a bit... less harsh?"

The goblin tilted his head, then made a gesture showing "I'll try."

At least I'm starting to understand what this senior goblin wants to say.

He's not an ordinary monster who just wants to kill.

He's... a creature who feels lonely and wants to have a friend.

Or maybe he's just bored and needs entertainment. Who knows.

What's clear is, I just made an agreement with a goblin to become sparring partners.

This might be the craziest thing I've ever done in both my lives.

But hey, at least I don't have to pay for martial arts lessons.