DC/Marvel: This Guy is Insane

"Finally, you're here."

A deep, magnetic voice echoed through the room.

Charles turned his chair around as the footsteps approached rapidly. Seeing who it was, he couldn't help but feel a headache coming on.

Alan had a sausage dangling from his mouth, while Wade, wearing a pink wig, lounged provocatively in his arms.

"Surprise!"

Alan smirked mischievously. "Professor X must be shocked."

"I can just imagine the serious, suspicious look on his face," Wade added proudly.

Then, the two were promptly kicked out of the office.

Charles intended to interrogate Stryker using his telepathic powers. He couldn't ignore this matter; justice had to be served. If it weren't for the rescue by Alan and his friends, thousands of students at the school might have suffered agonizing deaths in human experiments.

Thinking of this, Charles felt a heavy burden of guilt, nearly making a grave mistake. The mutant school he had poured his heart into had almost become a testing ground for the military. His usual softness was replaced by a steely resolve.

As for how the entire situation was handled, Alan was left in the dark.

The next morning, the breakfast stall was back in business as usual. This time, they sold various stuffed buns. Thanks to the previous day's publicity, business was booming.

"One pure meat bun and one vegetable bun, please."

Jean Grey, having heard the potstickers praised by the X-Men members, decided to put aside past grievances and try the food.

"Coming right up."

Alan prepared two snow-white buns, his eyes casually catching sight of Illyana passing by the playground.

"My Little Magik!"

Alan immediately abandoned Jean Grey, clutching the buns happily as he chased after the three girls.

Anger surged up again.

Once more, he was met with indifference.

Jean Grey furrowed her brows in frustration.

"Senior, let me pack that for you," Pietro offered to ease the awkwardness.

"No, thanks."

Jean Grey felt too upset to eat and flicked her red hair as she turned away.

Pietro and Kurt sighed helplessly, glancing at the bouncing Alan, unsure what to say. Of all people, he had to pick a fight with the Phoenix Girl, who had once nearly destroyed the school in a blackout.

"Hey, Alan."

Yukio greeted warmly.

"Good morning, little Yukio."

Alan responded verbally but kept his eyes fixed on Illyana, shyly offering her breakfast. "This is a carefully prepared love breakfast, made to D-cup size."

"I saw you packing it for Jean Grey," Ellie bluntly exposed.

"Whoa, you caught me," Alan said suspiciously. "Are you spying on my daily life?"

Ellie rolled her eyes. She must be crazy to spy on a madman's daily routine.

To be fair, the three girls' impression of Alan had improved considerably. After rescuing their classmates, they no longer rejected him outright.

"Thank you."

This time, Illyana took the breakfast without refusing, indicating a growing friendship.

"Don't we have any for me?" Yukio asked gloomily.

"No preparations."

Alan said seriously, "I'm a one-woman man. I would never be unfaithful. Put away your lustful thoughts about me. Not only will you not get me, but you'll get hurt."

"…"

He was truly a narcissistic madman.

Yukio looked a bit embarrassed.

"Don't you think you're boring?" Ellie mocked.

Alan snapped back, "We both share a similar surname. Can't you help me out a bit?"

Ellie laughed bitterly, "My surname is Phimister. Who shares a surname with you?"

"Sorry, I don't remember."

Alan tossed his head arrogantly and strolled back to the breakfast stall.

The three girls, with small appetites, split the two buns and genuinely praised the taste.

"Hmm… I smell the sour stench of a simp."

While managing the breakfast stall, Alan glanced at the shy Kurt and then at the girl walking away with a bun, a knowing look on his face. "Blue Elf, you like her."

"I don't."

Kurt lowered his head and muttered softly, almost like a buzzing mosquito.

"Well, even with your blue skin, I can see your face is red."

Alan boasted, "Chasing girls is easy. Didn't I already win over my Little Magik?"

Are you sure you won her?

You've just been pestering her nonstop.

"Love guru, help the Blue Elf. I know you're the best at this," Wade flattered.

"In that case, I'll help you single guys out. Watch and learn," Alan said proudly. "Pick any target, and I'll win her over in minutes."

The three exchanged glances… Here comes the fun.

"She's nice, petite, and quiet, eating a bun alone. Maybe she's easier to chase."

Wade pointed to a senior girl eating breakfast alone on the steps nearby.

"No problem."

Alan gave a thumbs-up and strode toward the girl.

"Isn't that risky? Rogue, Shadowcat's friend, isn't easy to mess with," Pietro worried.

"I think the little psycho can handle it."

Wade grabbed a bun and happily watched the show.

Kurt whispered, "Wade, you've already eaten six buns."

"Don't bother me. I'm watching."

After days on a mission, Katherine, the Shadowcat, was enjoying some rare peace. Hearing about the breakfast stall at school, she came early to try it out. She was annoyed that her friend Anna was late, making her wait for half an hour.

Suddenly, a scream rang out.

Katherine was startled, dropping her bun. Her eyes widened as she looked at a man in a patient gown shouting nearby.

All eyes on the playground turned to him.

"What's with the screaming?" Katherine asked, half-angry, half-amused.

"You ask me my name so directly?" Alan shyly covered his face.

Anger flared up instantly.

Katherine realized the man was mentally unstable and softened her tone. "You scared my breakfast away."

"What! I'm your little sweetheart!"

Alan was flattered, clutching his chest and nervously stepping back.

"Are your ears malfunctioning?" Katherine said disdainfully.

"You'll cry for me!"

Alan bared his teeth, holding his cheek in mock shock.

Katherine sighed, "Talking to you is exhausting."

"I'm your big baby!" Alan said, surprised, fingers in his mouth.

"I have a fire in my heart."

"You've always secretly loved me!"

"What exactly do you want?"

"You want to make me happy."

"You're really making me dizzy."

"You want to marry me!"

Back and forth they went, Katherine's expression growing more helpless while Alan's antics became more exaggerated. Originally, he had one finger in his mouth; now all five fingers were stuffed in.

"Please don't bother my friend."

A hand landed on Alan's shoulder. He instinctively put his fingers in his mouth and turned to look.

A girl with black hair streaked with white stood there, looking like a nightclub hostess.

"Rogue?"

Alan recognized the girl patting his shoulder.

Anna Marie, also known as Rogue, could absorb and copy mutant powers through physical contact. Currently, Anna's powers hadn't reached their peak. In the comics, she could copy multiple powers beyond mutants, using them simultaneously.

Anna said nothing but stared at Alan in shock.

"Keep looking, and I'll get shy," Alan said, embarrassed, turning away.

"You're not a mutant!" Anna exclaimed.

She was shocked because she couldn't copy any powers from him.

"I never said I was."

Alan boasted, "I'm a time-traveling system user, patient number 9527 from Westwood Psychiatric Hospital."

"…"

Who cares who you are? The point is, you're not a mutant.

The fact that he wasn't a mutant immediately drew the attention of the students. This was a school specifically for mutants. They shouldn't be accepting a normal person, especially a mentally unstable one.

"What's going on?"

At that moment, Ororo Munroe, Storm, carrying textbooks, passed by. Seeing Alan, the center of attention, she recalled his crazed behavior in her classroom.

"Teacher Munroe, he's not a mutant."

Anna looked like a tattletale, pointing at Alan as if accusing a criminal.

Alan countered with a diversion, pointing at Katherine. "Teacher, she's secretly in love with me."

"You… I… you…"

Katherine was so angry she was speechless, her mind racing with emotions she couldn't express.

To Ororo, student quarrels were trivial, but mutant matters were serious. Since the school's founding, Charles had made it clear only mutants were accepted. Now, a non-mutant student had appeared, breaking the rules. Would this set a precedent for others to break boundaries?

"This matter is up to the headmaster."

Alan was taken to the headmaster's office.

The three at the breakfast stall felt uneasy.

"Alan's going to be expelled!" Wade panicked.

"Think of a way. He saved everyone," Kurt urged anxiously.

"He can't be expelled. How would we start our business without him?" Pietro said seriously.

They regretted letting Alan run wild, fearing things might spiral out of control.

"I'll ask Ellie and the others for help. You guys persuade everyone to keep Alan."

The news spread quickly throughout the school.

Except for the X-Men, most students had been helped by Alan and expressed their support. Just the fact that the breakfast tasted good was reason enough to keep him.

Some agreed, but others opposed.

Many teachers and senior X-Men insisted on following the rules strictly, upholding the school's founding principles, and refusing to let one person disrupt the tradition.

The supporters were in the majority, organizing rallies on the playground, holding banners, and chanting slogans.

"Keep Alan! Keep the breakfast!"

"Free the hero! Save the breakfast!"

(End of Chapter)

***

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