DC/Marvel: This Guy is Insane

Alan's behavior thoroughly confused the five female vampires. Usually, when they seduced men, they would get them nearly drunk, and the moment they showed their fangs, their victims would be scared witless. Suddenly, they were faced with such an enthusiastic volunteer, and they were all a little overwhelmed.

"Come on, come on," Alan said, deliberately pulling down his collar to show off his fair neck. He boasted, "I bathe regularly, so my neck is pristine—no old skin-grime here."

It was hard to refuse such a kind invitation, and it would have been impolite not to take a bite.

"You are such a lovely little thing."

The five women bared their fangs, their eyes filled with hunger. They moved forward and surrounded Alan, getting closer to his neck, their breathing growing slightly ragged with anticipation.

Alan said shyly, "Just suck it, don't blow on it. I'm ticklish."

They didn't care about that. The next second, their lips eagerly touched his skin.

Sizzle…

"Ah! Ah! Ah!"

The five women covered their mouths and asked angrily, "What did you put on your body?"

When their lips had touched his skin, they had felt a searing, burning sensation.

"Hehe… I am the passionate young man who would smoke even if he were thrown into a river." Alan looked at the deceived vampires with a smug look on his face. On his way there, he had passed by a restaurant and had barged into the kitchen uninvited. He had taken some garlic, extracted it into garlic essence, and smeared it all over his body. To prevent the vampires from smelling the garlic, he had deliberately added perfume to blend it.

He was crazy, but he wasn't stupid.

"Kill him."

Realizing they were being teased, the vampires stopped being mysterious. They extended their fingernails, revealing two sharp fangs, but their upper and lower lips were now charred and blurry, as if they had kissed a red-hot iron.

"It seems a hearty fight is inevitable." Alan jumped back, took a starting stance, and said solemnly, "Arkham Asylum Beatdown Fist!"

"…"

The five women looked at each other and rushed forward.

"Ah!"

"Aiyah!"

"Eep!"

"Oof, I choked!"

"Oh my God!"

The fight was over in five seconds. The five women covered their eyes, grimaced in pain, and looked at Alan, who was standing with his wings spread. They really couldn't understand how a mentally ill person could fight so well. Although half-bloods were similar to ordinary people and normal weapons couldn't cause fatal injuries, they still felt pain.

"I was the undefeated, underground, free-for-all champion of '74. In '80, I beat a guy called 'Thunder Fists'—they nicknamed me the 'Devil's Muscle Man,' one hand for shockin', the other for… well, you get the picture." As he spoke, Alan kept his hands in a cone shape and made a grabbing motion.

"Who cares if he's a devil or a muscle man?" one of them said disdainfully. "This is the home ground of the vampires. The people downstairs are all our own kind. Call them up and finish him off."

If they were outside, they might think of escaping first. But this was a vampire's lair, and the dance floor downstairs was full of them. It should have been impossible to lose to an ordinary person.

She pressed the call bell on the table and waited for the waiter to come. After staring at each other for a long time and seeing that no one had come to check on the situation, they immediately realized something was wrong. The lower-class mixed-race vampires were mostly male and had an even lower status, usually serving as waiters and specializing in odd jobs and handling corpses. After all, there were more men hanging out at night, and if you had thin arms and legs, you had to consider whether you could beat others. Therefore, they could only serve as waiters in the nest and eat the leftovers of their own kind.

Alan looked out the window of the private room and could just overlook the dance floor. At this moment, a black man in black clothes, black pants, a black windbreaker, and black sunglasses was killing people with a sword in his hand, as easily as cutting melons and vegetables. With one strike of the sword, the vampires were instantly turned into ashes.

If he wasn't Blade, who else could it be?

"You're in trouble." Alan turned around and grinned. "Here comes the protagonist of this vampire drama."

Protagonist? The five women looked confused upon hearing this. In the eyes of the vampires, Blade was a great villain who was always chasing and hunting them, just like Batman in the hearts of Gotham's criminals. When they heard his name, they were so scared they could have wet themselves. How could they possibly regard him as the protagonist?

Blade, Eric Brooks, eliminated a group of vampires, striking a dramatic pose after each kill. You have to look handsome when fighting, and posing is essential. Sunglasses are essential. You can tell at a glance he's a man of sophistication.

At this moment, a black shadow fell. It was Batman.

"Blade, Eric Brooks?"

"Batman, Bruce Wayne?"

The two looked at each other, nodded, and shook hands to show respect. Gotham City was suddenly invaded by vampires. The members of the Bat-Family had returned to the cities they needed to protect. Bruce was in a dilemma and had to seek help from A.R.G.U.S. and S.H.I.E.L.D. There were simply too many vampires, and one person could not handle them all. Normally, he could fight criminals one by one, but that didn't work with the vampires, who were mainly causing harm to the public. After all, criminals had no intention of tormenting ordinary people; they couldn't get any gold coins even if they tortured them to death, so they naturally focused on bankers and capitalists. Therefore, Batman had to fight crime, because he was also a capitalist.

"Fury has already told me the situation," Eric said coldly. "I will not let the vampires destroy Gotham."

"Thank you very much for your help. I hope to rescue the citizens of Gotham who were kidnapped by the vampires first." During this period, Gordon had provided information that at least thousands of people were missing, not including homeless vagrants, which made Bruce feel that something big was happening.

"They may be hopeless," Eric said bluntly. "Once you become a vampire and have sucked blood, you can no longer turn back into a human. Under the constant erosion of bloodthirsty instincts, your consciousness will be lost, and you will no longer be human."

Bruce was silent for a moment but still insisted, "I hope to try to save them." He had discovered that the invasion of the vampires was a conspiracy of the Court of Owls and that everything was caused by himself, so he didn't want to see innocent people involved.

"It's up to you, but let me make one thing clear in advance. Once I'm sure they can't be saved, I will definitely take action to eliminate them," Eric said.

"Agreed." Bruce was not a saint. The infected people who could not be saved would inevitably become vampires, thus causing harm to more innocent people. It was necessary to stop the losses in time.

"Hey, Bats!" Alan leaned out of the window and shouted, "Come on upstairs and sit down! I'll order some girls for you!" After saying that, Alan retracted his head and punched a vampire woman who was about to escape.

"Do you know him?"

"Unfortunately." Alan's sudden appearance had caught Bruce off guard. Originally, the first person that had come to mind when the vampire invasion occurred was Alan, but when he had gone to Arkham Asylum and hadn't seen anyone, he had looked for other ways.

The two men went up the stairs to the second floor, and when they reached the private room door, they heard the sound of fists and kicks.

"Body-crushing and breast-shattering fist!"

"Silicone-popping feet!"

"Maiden's Sea Palm!"

"Madam's Comeback!"

"Macho Legs!"

When they pushed the door open, they saw Alan punching and kicking five female vampires who were huddled in the corner, as if he were the villain, and they the innocent maidens. The five women had bruises on their faces and noses and were trembling in fear like quails.

It was so humiliating. They had been beaten up by a mentally ill person. If their peers ever heard about this, they'd be too embarrassed to show their faces ever again.

***

(End of Chapter)

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